She Came to Me in a Dream

She was ready to go home. She had been visiting family and friends but now she was heading home. All she had was an empty dresser ...

Dreams are liquid, ever moving and illogical at times. This dream was so vivid I could have sworn I was living it.

Mom was ready to go home. For some completely unknown reason, she was packing up an empty dresser she had loaned to my cousin's wife. The dresser was used in the same fashion as a Tupperware container is used to give someone a cake or batch of cookies. The dresser was simply the vessel used to give what was inside. She was taking her empty dresser home with her. The dresser was in the back of a truck and Mom was going home. At last. 

My sister and I looked at each other with a mirrored expression of horror and disbelief. Mom didn't have a house to go home to. Her house has been emptied and sold. How could we have done this? We thought she died. Not only did Mom not have a home, she didn't even have a pair of underwear to put inside her empty dresser ...

I was wracked with guilt, disbelief and horror. My heart was shattered with the very idea that we gave all Mom's belongings away.

I woke up and it took a few minutes to shake myself into reality. Never have I felt so relieved to be reminded of Mom's death. It was okay. We had to empty her home and distribute her belongings. It was necessary.

This is a recurring dream I have had sporadically since Mom died. She wants to know where her belongings are. She is wandering. Wondering. This time she was heading home. With an empty dresser in tow.

The dream is most likely rich with symbolism. Those who believe in a loved one's presence in a dream may weave some logical explanation into this distorted dream sequence. All I know is I woke up feeling "Mom" all around and within me.

I have never been so pleased to have an oasis within my home where I can simply breathe in Mom's essence. I sat on Mom's love seat, held my coffee to my heart, was conscious of my own heart beat and wrapped my other arm around myself. I felt her. I missed her. Her essence was so strong within and around me.

I couldn't shake the feeling, nor did I want to. I let myself be still and simply breathe. I held my warm cup of coffee and let my thoughts wander.

My thoughts have been wrapped up in all things family recently. It is no wonder thoughts of Mom trickled into my subconscious mind.

She came to me in a dream. She wants to go home.