Monday, February 14, 2022

Living the Dream

As my first thoughts of the morning found their way onto my "morning pages", they felt scrambled, disconnected, fragmented and torn. It is Monday morning and quite literally, I have one foot in my weekend-oasis-aspiring-retirement-place-of-residence and the other foot is packing up to go back home to my work-week and home-life responsibilities.

During my weekend, I get to take off all of my "responsibility hats" and simply exist. Fill myself up with whatever is needed, soak up some solitude and a fair dose of selfishness and simply live a life of ease.

My weekdays are consumed with bookkeeping, senior care, cat care, household tending and part-time-parenting my independently-dependent adult child who is living at home.

One foot into a hopeful retirement goal, one foot planted firmly in reality. Earning a living, paying the bills, taking care of the needs of our home and those who inhabit it. 

It is easy to dream the dream of retirement aspirations. But the road that must be travelled between where I am and where I aspire to be is unknown territory. A lot of things will change between where I am and where I want to go.

As I wound up the last sentence of my morning pages, I wistfully wrote "I may already be living the dream and I don't even know it".

We don't know what tomorrow will bring. We could be paving the way to a future we are anticipating but not realizing "this", where we are today, the "before" is truly the dream. 

Challenging as our days may be, it is good to remember life-as-we-know-it could change on a dime. Take a moment to think of what it may take to transition from one phase of life to the next. It could be a wonderful thing. Then again, it could be a set of dire circumstances that upset the status quo.

I will do my best to appreciate "what is", this week. I will not dwell on the "what ifs". I will glance towards the horizon and hope each forward step takes me one step closer to what I think it is I hope for. But not lose the gift of the present.

Who knows? We could already be living our dream. Dreams shift, evolve and morph in unexpected ways. Such is life. Let's just take it one forward step at a time.

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