Tapped Out

I'm starting to fade. We are eighteen days into January and my new and improved plan to lead an intentional life. I'm tuckering out.

Is it the weather? It is -32º outside. It's COLD out there. It's nice and cozy inside. I want to stay home.

Is it my working hours? Being out of the house for ten+ hours is hard. So hard. I love being at home. Renovated or not. Nestled up inside this warm, cozy cocoon is exactly where I want to be. The long days are taking a toll.

Is it time? I've been revved up and trying to do this "living an intentional life" thing right for eighteen days, minus two Sundays where my ambition and drive withered up and disappeared, thus returning me to my cocoon state for one much needed day of rest after six hard days of life. I'm simply in need of an extra "Sunday" this week.

Is it the upcoming renovation project? As daunting as I know it will be, I think the idea of renovating is fuelling me. This is good.

Is it the outpouring of cash? The dollar signs are flashing through my mind as I try to forecast my financial future. I know it will be okay. But it is hard.

Is it the up and coming commitments I have on the horizon? I don't think so. I'm actually very much looking forward to my upcoming weekend plans. I do love the fact that my ability to look forward to and anticipate extra curricular activities has returned. To a point.

I simply don't have the energy, motivation or desire for "more". I am not looking for anything beyond what already exists here within my cozy little world. I'm not looking for anything beyond what I already have. I am content. So content.

I thrive on quiet and alone time. Solitude fortifies and restores me. That ... and light. It is 8:30 a.m., I just cracked the blinds open a little and the sky is starting to show signs of lightening.

The days are a little longer. The weather is a little colder. It is January. I am simply craving a "snow day".

I don't know why I stopped to write here today other than the fact I'm trying to restore the habit of writing into my days. That, and taking care of my feet. Yes, I tend to my cuticles and buff my calloused feet every time I bath. Adding ONE good habit at a time.

I have added writing and foot-care into my daily regimen. That is enough.

The end.

The Time Factor

It's just beginning ... the time factor could start to impose a threat on my new found serenity.

I am so grateful to have a side income from delivering flyers. I get paid to exercise. This will force me outside despite the weather, lack of sunshine or warmth. Fresh air, sunshine and exercise is a good combination. It is even better when it comes with a financial reward. But it is the time that will start to play havoc with how the days unfold.

One and a half hours on Wednesday. Three hours over the course of Friday and Saturday. I have the freedom to work this into my day where ever it fits. I can fully appreciate the flexibility of this responsibility after the path I've travelled of late.

It is getting just a tiny bit challenging to fit this into those time frames the past few weeks ...

Then there is my writing.

Three papers are running my column. At the moment, I have several deadlines looming. I must get some more columns submitted. I simply haven't had the energy to devote to writing lately. It is partially a time factor. The other part of the equation is that I spend a lot of my words verbally lately.

I spent the weekend with my sisters. I talked so much that I was continually the last one to finish eating what was placed in front of me. When they left, I had a few phone calls to make. By the time I hung up the phone and felt the quiet of the house envelope me ... all I could hear was the sound of my own voice ringing in my ears.

Now I'm starting up another daycare blog for my parents. This required a little time and a few more words to put it all together in one cohesive unit. Add this to the chapters that I am writing and illustrating (inserting photos that we take during our days) about our Days at Daycare and I'm coming up empty at the end of the day.

I am using up my quota of words and I still have so many places that I need to 'spend' them! I dare not even mention the book that I should have completed long ago about my dad's family history and memories ...

Then there are my friends.

I read an article about the high cost of friendship the other day. The article talked of the cost of dining out, going to the theatre, working out and other ways that we spend money when we socialize with friends. I looked at my friendships and they 'cost' me very little. The only cost is ... time.

I used to live a very quiet life. Most of my friends and family lived out of town or in another province. I wrote a lot of letters and it was a rare treat to talk to them on the phone (before long distance phone bundles became the norm). There was a small 'time' factor ... but nothing compared to what I spend today.

Investing time on friends and family is the best investment one can make. Spending my working hours at home is the best way to make the most of those little 'cracks' in the day to do that-which-I-want-to-get-done and still take care of all my responsibilities.

Why am I starting to panic ever-so-slightly?? Because I still have one part-time-at-home job to fit into all of the above. Ten hours a week. Something has got to give. I just haven't figured out what ...

I suppose I should start by turning off the TV!

Foot Pain

Yes ... I'm writing about my feet. Again. It's a little bit frightening to me, when my feet fail to live up to my expectations. I rely on them. A lot.

Not only do these tender tootsies take me everywhere that I need and want to go ... but having happy, healthy feet opens many doors for me. Ballroom dancing, Zumba, Bellyfit, Salsa, walking through a park and feeding chickadees ...

I tried out 'Scottish Country Dancing' last night. I knew the shoes would be the biggest challenge for me, right from the onset. I stumbled upon Dr. Scholl's Fast Flats and thought I had a winner.

These little stretchable, foldable, adaptable shoes looked perfect. I tried them on and they stretched to accommodate my 4 1/2 inch wide foot. They weren't pretty, but they would do.

The instructor of this Scottish dance looked at my shoes and said they were very good, but since there wasn't a strap across the ankle they could fall off. I thought to myself "These shoes are stretched beyond their capacity. They aren't going anywhere". And I was right.

In Scottish Country dancing, you dance on the ball of your foot. Foot turn-out, pointing the toes and ever conscious of dancing fully on the ball of your foot is the basis on which all else revolves.

Immediately the instructor noticed my toes that were turned up like 'Elf Shoes'. What I was doing, was stretching out my very tender ''Little Piggy Who Stayed Home", which has been inflamed for several weeks. That little piggy does not enjoy being squished into a shoe. So I stretch and flex it at every opportunity. Apparently this isn't pretty when you are in Dr. Scholl's Fast Flats and everyone (who's looking) can see what those 'little piggies' are doing within the confines of these flexible, but oh-so-revealing shoes.

It kind of hurt to dance on the balls of my feet without the cushioning of a gym shoe insole. But I did it anyway. And survived.

I didn't come home with throbbing-foot-pain, the way that I do after a two to three hour evening in ballroom dance shoes. So I didn't give my feet a second thought. Until this morning.

I woke up with pain akin to 'stepping on glass' in the ball of my good foot. The foot that doesn't have tender-toe-syndrome. So I know that at least I didn't injure my foot, trying to protect my injured toe. I have brand new, unrelated foot pain.

The good news, is that my bunions don't hurt. Just one toe on my right foot and the ball of my left foot. Heels, arches and bunions are all a-okay.

The question is ... should I stop all of these extra curricular activities which are placing unnecessary stress on my tender tootsies? I'm thinking, for a one week trial period ... I should.

Boy! Would that ever clear up my calendar. Dancing on Thursday; Bellyfit Saturday morning; and Salsa Saturday evening. I may actually have time to write a Christmas card or two, if I give my feet a week off.

Sounds like a good idea to rest my weary feet and catch up on a few other important things. Like Christmas cards ... and sleep.

When our bodies 'talk' ... we should listen.