A Full Agenda

This weekend has gone by in a blur ... from dancing, to errands, to Mom's arrival, our 'road trips' to 2 of her sisters, and gathering up stories and history for 'The Book' anywhere I could find it ...

Mom left around 11:30 this morning and I have been trying to compile my stories from my taped conversations for most of the hours since then. It's been a very full weekend.

I have gone from excited ... to overwhelmed ... to revived ...to exhausted ... to rejuvinated ... to just trying to catch up to the moment. I am getting encouragement at every turn, so just when I start to question what I've gotten myself into, I get pumped up again. I am looking forward to starting to sort through the facts and stories that I have, to see exactly what I've got. And find the direction I am going ...

I was so exhausted last night, I was nodding off during my conversation with Mom. Finally I just had to tell her that I just had to go to bed. I slept like a rock (I have no memory of waking up, even to roll over) and was raring to go at 6:30 this morning. A fresh day, new questions, another look at where this 'book' is going.

I even managed to exercise each morning all weekend. I was going to allow myself this morning off, but I was so revved up and energized that I actually wanted to move! Imagine that! Physical activity is somewhat addictive. There are some good endorphins or something that are released when you are moving. I knew this ... but I had conveniently 'forgotten'.

A new week is dawning. I wish I could literally 'close the chapter' on this weekend. But I have at least 3 more hours of conversations to syphon through. I should have been more selective and turned the recorder off and on, but I didn't want to draw attention to the recorder so the conversation would flow more naturally. So I have quite literally had a play-by-play repeat of about 9 hours and 45 minutes of the past 3 days ...

I have a fairly full agenda this week, as well. With no school, I have a different kind of schedule with the kids. I am very fortunate that Kurt has started helping out and playing with the younger kids a lot. They absolutely love it and it really breaks up the day for all of us.

I have completely enjoyed the weekend ... but ... I am grateful that isn't my normal pace of life. I do enjoy my regularly scheduled life and I am looking forward to its speedy return.

7 Days!!

I have made 7 consecutive days of exercising!! Getting up at 5:30 is tough. To have a little time to breathe before the kids come, I should get up at 5:00. But for now, 5:30 is the goal.

The best thing is that the only stiff muscles I had, were from the push ups after the first day or two. My heart is pumping and my muscles are tired after a lot of these exercises so they must be doing something good.

Keeping this body healthy and strong is my goal.

And ... it's Friday!! Dance night. Yay!!!! Once again, my dance instructor just knows what to say to keep me excited and enthused about dancing. I feel like I'm awaiting my next lesson with the same anticipation as watching a cliff hanger on a TV series. I wonder where things are going to go from here?? I can't wait to find out.

And it is a long weekend. We have a busy agenda ahead of us. Mom arrived tonight and we are headed off to her sisters homes for the next two afternoons. I have been so sidetracked with all of the other various projects going on in my mind, that 'The Book' has taken a back seat. I'm looking forward to jumping back into this with both feet and running with it. I have a feeling this weekend will provide me with lots of stories and ideas as to how to present all of this.

But for now, exhaustion has been hitting me in waves off and on for the past 3 hours. So it is time to heed my body's wishes.

3 days off! I am so excited!!!! This new long weekend in February makes my year.

Christmas in February!!

Not only is it lightly snowing outside, creating a picture perfect winter setting (and more shovelling ... yay ...), but I heard from another friend from my past today!!

I have been trying to think the positive affirmations that 'The Secret' talks about. So when I thought of what could possibly be in todays mail, I first thought that my mail has been so good and interesting all week (not only did I hear from an old friend on Tuesday, but I got a card from another friend and 'history stories/info' from Mom yesterday) that I couldn't possibly expect anything more. Then I caught myself and thought "Yes I can. 'The Secret' tells me to think about what you do want, picture it, believe it". So I did. And can you imagine my wonder and surprise when the mail held more good tidings.

I believe!!!!

Things Are Not Always as They Seem

How many times is a person completely taken aback when what appears to be a model marriage doesn't make it? How many times do you realize yourself, that 'no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors'? ....

I received a 12 page letter from an old friend yesterday. There had been some hints that things weren't going so perfectly the last few times she had written. But I wasn't prepared for what I read.

My heart sank as I read her words. She is a person totally dedicated to her marriage and family. She has put her family first and invested almost 25 years in a marriage that she was determined ''not going to end up like just another statistic''.

She is my age and looking at a future that she didn't plan on. She has been a full time mom and dabbled in part time work (that is increasing in hours as her kids get older). Her career was her family. And now here she is, wondering how she can support herself...

It is impossible to live your life planning on all the 'what ifs' that life can throw at you. I truly believe that investing your time and energy on your children is a win-win situation. But ... what if ... after 25 years, you are suddenly facing a whole new world?

It amazes me how things do tend to work out. Even when one is dealt the harshest blows, after all is said and done you usually end up in a much better place than where you started. In my experience, the harder the fall, the better the (eventual) outcome. Impossible to believe at the time, when 'life as you know it' is taking a 180 degree turn.

Having a family that believes in you and supports you is not something everyone has. But if you have it ... cherish and nurture it! Friends. At a time when your 'world' is upside down, a friend at your side to lend an ear or a hand or whatever 'limb' is needed, is a blessing. Hold on tight to your friends!

I believe my friend will be okay after she gets through the immediate future. She is emotionally beaten to the ground, but despite that, I hear her voice coming through. She believes in herself. She knows that she deserves to be treated with respect. She will be okay.

Don't ever be afraid to reach out to a friend. Not so long ago I was the one who took that daring risk of baring my heart and soul to my friends. This time, it is a friend from my past that is reaching out to me. And I am here. It has been decades since we sat down and visited, but thankfully we still keep in touch. In fact her letter to me started with "Thank you for writing to me. I was hoping you wouldn't give up on me...".

I often wonder about the letters I write, to friends I don't hear from any more. I wonder if they have moved on and really don't care anymore? But the opening sentences in my friends letter yesterday told me that there is a reason that I continue to hold onto those friends of my past.

Friends are forever ....

Living My Life

I have often commented to the people in my life that don't have the time or inclination to sit and respond to an email or send off letters or whatever ... that I actually rather envy them. They are living their lives instead of sitting down and writing about it.

And so it is for me lately. My mind and body and agenda in my days has filled me up. There are often few words left in me at the end of the day.

I started this blog when I had time on my hands. I had ideas in my head but I hadn't started acting on them. It is amazing though, how writing ideas down made it a reality that I knew that I had to act on.

Now that I'm acting on a lot of these ideas, I feel so full. I've taken some risks ... I've called and emailed people as soon as I have the idea to do so. It may be a better idea to let some things breathe for a moment before you hit ''send'' with an email!! There have been a handful of times, that I have emailed someone asking them something. Then within the half hour I have to email them back to tell them 'ignore the previous email ... I just remembered ...'.

I am not regretting the ways that I am putting myself back out there. I have to hone the impulsiveness a little, but there are times that if you don't act on something right away, you can find a million reasons to put it off. So I've been leaning towards acting first and thinking later.

I am actually living my life these days. And it feels very, very good to be 'back in the land of the living'.

Gone Phishing

You can imagine my panic when I tried signing into my blog last night and my antivirus program halted me with an alarming red box, stating that my site was blocked due to a ''phishing attempt" (trying to collect credit card information, PIN numbers, etc). After all the strange things my computer has been doing lately I thought this was the final straw. But thankfully I found a 'blog forum' with several other bloggers encountering the exact same problem and it appeared to be a glitch in the antivirus program ... and it was not just my blog site. Whew!!

Troubleshooting, investigating, calling for help, trying different solutions ... Since the new year, I seem to be overwhelmed with these tasks. My brain is getting a lot of exercise as I try and solve each puzzle I encounter in this world of video cameras/blogs/slideshows/video editing/and more. I seem to be up to my neck in new projects and each seems to involve something I've never done before. This must be a good thing ... this old dog is learning some new tricks!

And since my brain is getting a good work out, I thought it was time my body joined in on the fun. I have exercised 2 days in a row and I've got my mind set to get back into the early morning exercise habit. I'm working to get my 'real age' to a lower number!! By keeping my mind and body fit, and feeding my mind and body what it needs (in nourishment and in knowledge) I should become a happier, healthier and more vital being. Or else just tired!

Yes, this mental and physical work out plan is equalling a very good nights sleep lately. And proper sleep habits are yet another thing to keep one 'younger'.

Speaking of that, I think that is where I am now headed. My earlier wake up time (to exercise) will come soon enough.

Winter

Winter can be such a long, depressing (not to mention cold!) season. It seems like a season that can really play havoc with a persons mental well being. I have had winters that have me aching for a warm day and a sunbeam to soak up by the time March rolls around .... but this is not one of those.

I feel like I'm taking advantage of these months where a person is holed up inside. In fact, I'm afraid that I may not accomplish all I want to, before the warm sunny days are beckoning me outside. Imagine that!!

Having a goal, and interests that are keeping my mind busy and happy has been wonderful. My brain feels like it has been exercising and is enjoying the work out.

This week, Oprah had a show that was focusing a bit on a person's 'Real Age'. There was a lady on it that was 60, but the vibrancy and youth that oozed out of her being made her appear decades younger. The common denominator that spoke to me about these people who appeared so much younger than they actually were, was having something that they felt passionate about in their life. Writing, reading and ballroom dancing were among a few things that were mentioned. And it simply excited me. I am on the right track. I am following my heart and immersing myself in what I feel passionate about. And not only has it made the winter fly by ... but it may help 'drop a few years' off of my Real Age.

I took the test to find out my Real Age and it was only about 4 years younger than my actual age. So I am on a mission to increase that number. I have a plan. I started some 'stretch' exercises last night and worked on 'strength training' this morning. I have an exercise DVD from the Dancing With the Stars pros and I am going to concentrate on the Samba portion of that for now. I am going to work at keeping my mind and body feeling younger than their actual age.

And the next thing you know, it will be spring and we'll be soaking up the sunshine!!!