Energized By Working ... Who Knew?

The past several days, I have faced my demons. I've had work to do ... and I've done it.

The amazing thing? It has energized me. I have wasted so much energy not doing things, that I have been feeling exhausted. Avoidance and procrastination are the biggest energy drains in my life. And I have complete control over those things.

I am taking a 'Workplace Success/Intrepreneurship' course at school right now. I am loving what I am reading/learning.

The chapter that I was reading at the time that my brother sent off his inspiring email about 'The Path of Least Resistance' was on Job Stress and Time Management. This lesson was full of little morsels of information and advice. Sometimes a person just needs to read the words to activate what you already know.

Two ways of approaching what you perceive to be a difficult task:

1. Consider the task a challenge. Tell yourself you are going to experience a great sense of achievement when it is done.
2. Break the task down into small sections and work on a small portion each day ... Reward yourself every time you complete a section.

My reward system seems to involve Pringles (but whatever works) ...

I have accomplished one step of a mighty job. I have succeeded in crossing a few medium-sized jobs off of my eternal to-do-list. I am eager (I am not exaggerating here ... I'm actually eager!!) to get back and tackle the second step of the twelve step bookkeeping job that has been haunting me for (close to) three weeks now. Eager!!

I was telling my boss yesterday that the most discouraging fact about completing this task at hand, is that there are at least half a dozen more equally daunting jobs to face, when this one is complete. Since she is my partner in our endeavor to get this work done, she could completely empathize. There is nothing more assuring than having your supervisor on your side, when you are feeling overwhelmed.

Many little factors came into play at the same time, to help me get beyond the paralysis of procrastination. Now, the key is to go from here.

There is a temptation to dive into many things right now. I have only so much energy to expend, so it is wise to direct it to the tasks at hand. But energy begets energy, so I have a very good feeling about the direction my life is headed.

The Lesser of Two Evils

I finally, finally confronted the bookkeeping task that I have somehow avoided for the past two weeks (I can't believe it's only been two weeks! It feels like at least twice as long).

I believe that I slept two entire days of the long weekend as I initially avoided this task. In all honesty, I planned to devote the entirety of the following weekend to just getting the job done. I did my best, but 'life' happened and that plan didn't work.

I returned from our quick trip to my mom's and other bookkeeping tasks took priority. The big, onerous task that I had been avoiding kept being put on hold.

This past weekend, I promised myself that I must face reality and get with it!

The higher priority bookwork got done. Jobs that I really don't love, seemed so much more bearable to work on because I was avoiding the big job.

Then came the life choices that had to be made.

Should I rush through supper and dash off to get to my bookwork ... or spend some time with my Second Son? Then, the next day ... do I let the grass grow long enough to bale it ... or do I do my bookwork? Then, My Oldest came over. Bookwork verses sitting down and visiting? Then ... clean the car verses bookwork? Then ... shall I return the recycling or put in an hour of bookwork before I had to start making supper?

Bookwork lost every time. And I simply stopped caring after supper ...

Then there was yesterday.

I had two bookkeeping jobs to work on. One, high priority. The second one, the task I had been avoiding for two weeks. Plus ... I had to babysit.

This is when I had my great epiphany. I realized why I got so much more bookkeeping accomplished while I babysat full time. Because I (didn't) enjoy babysitting even more than I (didn't) enjoy the bookwork. It was the lesser of two evils.

In this new life of mine, I don't have a lot of things that I (don't) enjoy less than bookwork. So I keep putting it off. I have a fair bit of leeway with my bookwork but I know that I can't avoid it altogether. There are many jobs that must be done quickly and within a certain time frame. Then there are the 'projects' like this one. I have calculated that I most likely could work ten solid hours per day, and work for a minimum of 11 days ... and maybe, just maybe I would accomplish the task at hand.

If it's any consolation, I have jobs that have been pushed aside entirely so that I can accomplish what I need to get done. My family history project? It is put on a back burner. I hope to devote a large parcel of time to that during my holiday from school. Practicing dancing? Ha! I scheduled in 15 minutes per day. But by the time the end of the day rolls around, I just want to sit still. Yoga stretches? Same thing. Housecleaning and worrying? A thing of the past.

On the flip side, I have a lot of fun stuff going on in my world!

Time with my family, flexibility in my schedule that allows me to do things on a whim, go out with friends, time to dance (at least at my lessons), time to keep in touch with the people that touch my life and time to relax (it never fails - no matter how 'busy' I think that I am, I always carve out some time for myself at the beginning and end of the day and many times in between). I do make time for the things that really matter.

All I can say is, I need to find something that I really, really want to avoid in my life so that I push the limits and get this bookkeeping project done! I must choose between the lesser of two evils to push myself through the work at hand.

The Path of Least Resistance

My Very Wise Brother sent me a thought provoking email last night. He wrote that his nickname should be ‘Electricity’ because he (like electricity) follows the path of least resistance.

He went on further, to say that when making choices he is going to lean towards the ‘fun &/or memory-making experiences’ over work. And what is really wrong with that? Not a thing.

I am still quoting My Brother when he explained that when he was sitting back in his easy chair when he was 80, would he regret choosing taking his daughter on a bike ride over scraping the paint off of his window sills? Hardly likely.

The lawn can be mowed now or in two weeks (or never). That is our choice. It isn’t going anywhere. But the time we take (or don’t take) to sit still and talk with a friend … or spend time with a family member … or gaze into the clouds? Those times are fleeting. Sure, we can talk another day. Yes, the clouds will be there tomorrow (very likely for the next two weeks, the way our rainy spring season has been this year). But the moment – the conversation that will happen when it is spontaneous … those particular clouds – they don’t wait.

My Second Son and I have accidentally fallen into the ritual of sitting down and having a power-coffee-visit on Friday mornings. This past Friday morning, I had to renege on the ‘moment’. I had school hours that had to be ‘logged’. I couldn’t spare the hour.

I don’t know what it is about that power-hour that we have stumbled upon. The words, ideas, thoughts and dreams come pouring out of each of us. We walk away feeling empowered, motivated and eager to face the day.

I regret not finding a way to make that time this past week. Sure, we sat down and chatted after supper on Saturday night. But it wasn’t the same. The week had caught up to me by then. We sipped on a beverage of the alcoholic sort, instead of coffee. I slunk down low in my chair and relaxed instead of feeling energized and motivated and eager to live the day. I thought “I can’t wait to get to bed” instead.

Yes, chances are that we talked about many of the things that we would have talked about Friday morning. But it wasn’t the same. The moment was gone. The atmosphere was all wrong.

I researched this scientific fact about electricity after I read my brother’s email. And this is what I discovered:

“No, electricity does not “take the path of least resistance.” It takes all paths available—in inverse proportion to the impedance of the paths.”

There are many ways to ‘spend’ a finite supply of energy. So my vote goes with my brother. “The lower the impedance of the path …” (fun options), the greater the amount of energy we have to spend there. “Conversely, the higher the impedance of the path …” (the work), the lower the amount of energy we sometimes choose to allocate to the task.

I think that workaholics have this concept all mixed up … though it would be wonderful to have a job where the ebbs and flows of enjoyment one receives from your work competes with the recreational activities in your life.

So, when making the choice of least resistance, weigh the options. What will make for the best memories when you are sitting back in that easy chair and reflecting on your life?

Girls Night Out

For the past four Fridays (out of five), an enjoyable tradition has started. A night out with the girls.

This is a stage of my 'development' that I skipped over. Between an early start into my parenthood career and then subsequent additions to my family, I haven't had many opportunities to go out on a regular basis.

It has seemed that each time one of my children was nearing the age of independence, I had another baby. It's just the way life happened. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

But ... I am giddy with excitement to be out with the girls. We've taken in a little culture, a few chick-flicks and we have many adventures on the horizon.

Theatre is an interest of many, Our Fair City offers a summer time full of interesting events and all of us enjoy dancing. So that may take us to new and exciting places.

What is interesting about the dynamic of personalities, is that each person (even if they have been unable to come out one particular evening) is eager to keep 'in the loop'. Lots of fresh ideas circulating about what adventures we can partake in, as a group.

What I like best, is the conversation. It is interesting to get to know new people and to open myself up to new friendships.

I don't think that I could have appreciated the 'freedom' to go out on a regular basis, had this opportunity come to me sooner in life.

I am fortunate to be forging out on new adventures and feeling like I'm 17 years old again. Out on the town, with the girls.

It doesn't matter what age you are, it does your soul good to get out with the girls ... with friends.

Synergy

Synergy:
1. The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.
2. Cooperative interaction among groups, especially among the acquired subsidiaries or merged parts of a corporation, that creates an enhanced combined effect.

Synergy - I don't think I've ever had a favorite word before. But I do now. I stumbled across this word in my studies this week. And I like it.

I believe there is a lot of 'synergy' in my life ...

My own little family unit. As my adult children grew up and away from home, there was a lot of individual growing going on. But lately, this growth has 'come home again'. There has been some reaching out and finding family at our side to walk with, through the trials of life. And then there are our Sunday suppers to cement the bonds. "A mutually advantageous conjunction where the whole is greater than the sum of the parts ..."

My own siblings and our mom. This past weekend was a perfect example of what and who our family is. We are each living our own individual lives but when it comes to family, we are united. We get together because we enjoy each other's company. We are there for each other. Through the good and the bad. "A dynamic state in which combined action is favored over the sum of individual component actions ..."

Then there is the great community of aunts, uncles and cousins that I have familiarized myself with these past few years. In the past, I've been the quiet and stand-offish relative. Shyness was my excuse as a child. Insecurity was an alibi as I grew older. By the time I was full grown, it was simply habit. But as soon as I reached out and made the effort to get to know my family better, I was overwhelmed with a familiarity and acceptance that made me feel as though I truly belong here. Family history, shared traits and ways of thinking have cemented my 'roots' in this family. "Cooperative interaction between groups ..." Yes, our family is spread across the countryside. But there is an energy that unites us. I feel it every single time I make the effort to draw a family member into my world.

Friends. I am blessed beyond words. I have one particular group that defines the word 'synergy'. When we combine these personalities, it is magical. "Their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects ..." I have one-on-one friends that inspire me in many ways. As individuals, we walk through whatever life deals us. When shared with a friend, troubles are halved and the joys are doubled. I find myself reaching out to make new friends ... this energy, this 'synergy' is too great not to be shared.

There is not one area in my life that isn't affected by the 'synergy' of the relationships I have with the people that touch my life. Whether it is at arm's length with those that I know on a less-than-personal-basis ... or someone I know well, I feel 'connected' and part of a team in almost every avenue of my life.

I marvel at the happy-factor that surrounds me. Then I look at the people that have touched my life. And I know.

Alone, I am a mountain. I stand tall and strong. But I am lonely. As a part of my family, with friends and an entire community of people that I connect with on some level, I am part of a group "... that is greater than the sum of my individual effect ..."

Why My Mom Thinks I Need a Mirror

I don't know how I can be surprised every time I look into a mirror. But I am.

I just returned from a spur of the moment trip. Right from the onset of our adventure, I knew my hair was having a bad day. Right from the moment I stepped out of the shower. I thought I could rewind the hands of time and work with it. It never happened.

Every time I looked in the mirror, I thought "Oh no!" ... this is bad. This is really bad. I straightened it (again). I fluffed. I ran my fingers through it. I walked away. What can you do when you are having a bad hair day 500 km away from home ... and my hairdresser ... and hair dye (I did suggest at one point that we could turn this into a hair dying party). It was what it was. And it wasn't good.

I forgot a lot of things as I packed in a frenzy, with many interruptions. I grabbed (what I thought was) eyebrow pencil and eyeliner. Thank goodness I can wear my glasses while I pencil in my brows, because I caught myself before I put lipliner on my brow line. Not that it helped much. I got home after a day of sporting my pencilled in brows (I'm sure that I used the eyebrow pencil?) and the first thing I noticed was my eyebrows (and they had to be bad, to be noticed over my awful hair).

My eyebrows were ever-so-much-more noticeable because I forgot mascara. My eyes were unseen ... but have no fear. I had eyebrows. Ohmigosh. I had eyebrows ...

Then there is the spaghetti sauce on my forearm that I wore to my last dance lesson. Another time that I returned from a dance lesson and realized (after I was home) that my pant zipper was undone. And had been for my entire dance lesson.

I suppose I should have a full length mirror by the door, so that I could give myself a once-over before I walked out in public. Then again ... upon catching a glimpse of the 'me' that was walking out the door ... I may never leave the house again.

An Unexpected Reunion

Our family is blessed. In many ways ...

Mom had a little health scare in the wee hours of Sunday morning. And we were able to 'rally the troops' and walk her through the unknown.

Thankfully, the unknown was not any of the worst case scenarios that we had conjured up in our minds. I do believe that we all carried the feeling that 'it was going to be okay' ... but I also believe that we carried the knowledge that neither our mom, nor our brother should have to walk this path alone.

I'm grateful for the family that I have. We rally together in good times and in bad. We share the language of 'family'.

Alone, any one of us could have done what it took 'four' to do. But united, we were stronger.

My oldest sister led the way. She was the one that realized that Mom needed her family - her children. Our brother is the one who is there for Mom in all ways (he lives close by, while the rest of us live in a different province). He's the one that volunteers to help with little chores around the house. He provides a quiet strength in ways that he doesn't acknowledge. But as a mom-of-grown-sons myself, I know the sense of security that I feel just knowing that my children are a phone call away. Just in case. My Second Oldest Sister has been the one whose life afforded her the greatest flexibility. She rises to whatever occasion she is faced with.

I have sat back and marvelled at these siblings of mine. I have never really known my purpose in the family. I have always had so many commitments and ties that I've never been able to pick up and go like my sisters have. My sisters have rode out on their White Horse on numerous occasions. I have never been on a rescue mission with them.

Until Sunday.

I was part of a whole. It was the Three Sisters to the rescue. Each of us wondered what our role would be, but as the days played out with ease (thankfully) each of us stepped up to the plate and carried the baton for our part in the marathon.

Our unexpected trip out to Mom's ended up being a happy reunion. But no matter what we faced when we got there, we knew we would be stronger as a team.

Mom gave us the gift of her health. We gave her the gift of her family. Being there.

In good times and in bad ... we are a family united.