I was outside walking with the kids yesterday when I spotted my first robin of the season.
We stopped walking and I tried to show the kids the robin but it kept flying away. Then I noticed the rest of them.
A tree rich with berries was full of robins. They were flying from all around to feast on the berries.
Then I heard the honking of Canadian geese high up above us flying in a "V" formation. They were coming home.
We looked back into the tree and saw more birds. These birds I didn't know, but their hair was back combed in the fashion of a blue jay but they weren't blue. Perhaps a cedar waxwing?
They weren't our ordinary variety of birds. We are used to crows and sea gulls. These birds were new to our eyes this season.
We stopped walking. We pointed up into the tree and the sky. We stopped and marvelled and simply enjoyed the moment.
Would I have done that if I was out for a walk alone? Probably not. With another adult? Perhaps. But not on the same level as I enjoyed yesterday.
Hanging out with kids all day gives me 'permission' to see the world fresh and new. Every day.
If we allow ourselves these moments, it brings the small wonders of a day into focus. Whether it is birds, planes, lady bugs or the ever-changing traffic lights. These very same conversations become very inane day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute.
This morning, as my 2 1/2 year-old copies every single action, sound and facial expression of my 1 1/2 year-olds? Not so precious. It is a game that gets old very fast (especially when I know that we have at least nine more hours of this particular game).
Taking a small moment and bringing your full attention to it can be a good thing. It can also work against you.
Today I will try to focus on the birds in the sky ...
Friday, May 3, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Short on Words, Heavy on Pictures
This is the view from our back door this morning. Yes! Phase I of the dog-containment-project is complete!
The goal is to fence in the cement, deck and grassy area beside the deck and the dogs can call this 'home'. It gives them access to people and it will make my life easier when I take my daycare family outside. No more cleaning up dog messes when we go outside ... is the goal.
When I take 'my kids' outside, the dogs will be penned in the grassy area beside the deck. See the gate in the far corner of the deck? I love that gate!! It is exactly what I was hoping for when I mentioned this 'bright idea' to My Son. I think he is quite possibly sick and tired of my 'bright ideas' that seemingly change like the wind (in my mind, it is simply that my ideas keep evolving).
In other news ... check out the snow situation. The Snow Mountain in our front yard is shrinking by the day. The other day, one of the kids was playing on the snow hill in his snow gear, as I was raking the grass right beside it. The contrasts of living where we live is right out our own front door.
And this is all the snow left in the back yard. If only the dogs didn't have access to this area, we would be good to go.
Now, I just need to worry about our dilapidated fence ...
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Energy Left Over at the End of the Day
I don't know if it was because I had such an easy day ... or if it was the two glasses of McDonald's vanilla iced coffee ... or being able to be outside cleaning the yard ... or what the exact reason was ... but I had energy left over at the end of the day yesterday and it was a new and amazing concept.
I only had one daycare child to tend yesterday. So we turned the day into an adventure. We hopped on the bus and went to WalMart. Followed by lunch at McDonald's (my first iced coffee of the day). With a trip to Dollarama for 'dessert'. The bus ride home was the icing on the cake. When we got home my little guy slept. And slept. And slept.
While I waited for him to wake up, I started raking up the back yard. Then my son came home and helped me. The back yard is getting so close to being kid-ready. So very close ... this simply makes me smile. Inside and out. We are 'taking back' the back yard. And it is good.
After my daycare day was done, I finished up what I had set out to do outside. Then came inside and vacuumed. We ate a home-cooked meal (it was a mish mash of leftovers but they all came from home). Then My Youngest and I were off to his dentist appointment.
I brought a book along with me and read while I waited for him. It was a book that made me smile. A book that made me feel good. A book that made me think. It was "Carry on Warrior" by Glennon Doyle Melton. I have mentioned it before and I'll mention it again. It is a book that I would like to have a dozen copies of, so that I could pass them out to friends and family ...
We drove by a McDonald's and the allure of their $1.00 iced coffee (or any soft drink beverage) was calling my name. We picked up a drink of choice (I chose iced coffee) then we returned to the Dollarama (I found kid's lawn chairs that were too big and bulky to buy and bring home on the bus), then we went through a drive-thru car wash. We drank our drinks as the machinery washed up the car for me.
It was a productive day. We were outside. Alot. We are making so many forward steps towards getting back out in the back yard.
Fresh air and the wide open sky bring such a welcoming sense of new life and wonder into a regular day. Knowing that I am 'taking back the back yard' is joined by the wonder of 'taking back my week nights'. My flyer delivery days are over. My week nights are mine, to do with as I please. The snow is melting. The sun is shining. And we are taking advantage of every opportunity to be outside.
It is so invigorating to have energy left over at the end of a day. It has been a while since I felt this way. It is good to be back.
** I am also very, very pleased that McDonald's $1.00 drinks have returned - vanilla iced coffee and me feel like long, lost friends. I am so glad you are back, my friend! **
I only had one daycare child to tend yesterday. So we turned the day into an adventure. We hopped on the bus and went to WalMart. Followed by lunch at McDonald's (my first iced coffee of the day). With a trip to Dollarama for 'dessert'. The bus ride home was the icing on the cake. When we got home my little guy slept. And slept. And slept.
While I waited for him to wake up, I started raking up the back yard. Then my son came home and helped me. The back yard is getting so close to being kid-ready. So very close ... this simply makes me smile. Inside and out. We are 'taking back' the back yard. And it is good.
After my daycare day was done, I finished up what I had set out to do outside. Then came inside and vacuumed. We ate a home-cooked meal (it was a mish mash of leftovers but they all came from home). Then My Youngest and I were off to his dentist appointment.
I brought a book along with me and read while I waited for him. It was a book that made me smile. A book that made me feel good. A book that made me think. It was "Carry on Warrior" by Glennon Doyle Melton. I have mentioned it before and I'll mention it again. It is a book that I would like to have a dozen copies of, so that I could pass them out to friends and family ...
We drove by a McDonald's and the allure of their $1.00 iced coffee (or any soft drink beverage) was calling my name. We picked up a drink of choice (I chose iced coffee) then we returned to the Dollarama (I found kid's lawn chairs that were too big and bulky to buy and bring home on the bus), then we went through a drive-thru car wash. We drank our drinks as the machinery washed up the car for me.
It was a productive day. We were outside. Alot. We are making so many forward steps towards getting back out in the back yard.
Fresh air and the wide open sky bring such a welcoming sense of new life and wonder into a regular day. Knowing that I am 'taking back the back yard' is joined by the wonder of 'taking back my week nights'. My flyer delivery days are over. My week nights are mine, to do with as I please. The snow is melting. The sun is shining. And we are taking advantage of every opportunity to be outside.
It is so invigorating to have energy left over at the end of a day. It has been a while since I felt this way. It is good to be back.
** I am also very, very pleased that McDonald's $1.00 drinks have returned - vanilla iced coffee and me feel like long, lost friends. I am so glad you are back, my friend! **
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Miscommunication 102
Three times over the course of the past two weeks I have quite literally been misunderstood. That is not a track record that I can ignore. Because ... what (who) is the common denominator here?? Me!
First of all, I must recant my rant about my hair cut a week ago (Miscommunication 101). Number one, my hairdresser remedied the bad haircut immediately. I was simply unsure how it would work once I washed it and was left to deal with it in real life. It was fine. It was perhaps better than fine. Thank you, New Hairdresser. Sometimes? The professionals know best.
Second of all, when I watched Dancing With the Stars last night and took a closer look at the Kelly Pickler hair cut that I was hoping for ... her hair is much longer on top. So it is no wonder that my hairdresser left the top of my hair untouched. My words did not match up with the picture that I had given her. She went by the picture.
We (My Son) started a deck project last fall. There was not time nor resources available to complete the job and winter was on its way, so once the base of the deck was completed it was good enough to get us through the balance of the pre-winter weather. Our plan was to add perimeter seating around the deck in lieu of a railing.
Well, our endless winter taught me three things.
This is where it started going wrong. I eyed up my neighbor's deck railing and knew in my mind that was exactly what I wanted. I found (what I thought was) similar deck railing in a flyer and showed this to My Son (who has happily resumed the Deck Project this spring). With a firm idea of exactly what I wanted, My Son went ahead and started building.
It wasn't until the actual railing started going up that I noticed that My Son and I were not on the same wavelength. He commented that he just bought one package of 'pickets' so that he could be sure that was what we needed so I (mis)understood that to mean that there was still room to change the plan. I was wrong.
It took little more than a glance at the structure to see that 'what I had hoped for' was not possible. How could this have gone so wrong? Again??
I dug through the recycling bin to recover the flyer with the picture that I had shown My Son. He has built exactly what I showed him. Once again, my words did not match up with the picture that I had given him to follow.
I questioned my hairdresser's communication skills when she did not reiterate back to me what she understood. But when she had a picture to go by, why would she question what I had asked for? Same goes for My Son.
I must take back my words and eat them. Miscommunication is a two way street. It is so easy to be misunderstood and on the flip side ... it is very easy to misunderstand what another person is telling you.
These exact words were thrown back to me recently. And they hurt. I was pointed told, "I don't think that you are understanding what I am telling you" was the exact comment. I got defensive and started simmering inside thinking to myself ... don't tell me what I am thinking. I had reiterated back what I understood and once again my words must not have matched up with what I was thinking. I had in fact completely understood correctly, but there was a miscommunication in the retelling.
The last instance was perhaps the most ideal of all three communication breakdowns. There was still a chance to remedy the miscommunication because I had communicated back what I had understood.
Communication is a two-way street. I have been feeling misunderstood a lot lately. It isn't always the other guy's fault. But I must look at my side of the equation and see what is tipping the odds against me.
If in doubt? Question. Even if you are sure you understand? Question.
These are minor little details in the realm of life. Relationships start faltering when a person feels misunderstood. We aren't mind readers. Often what we see is not what the other person means. Even when that other person is 'you'.
I'm eating crow this morning. I am amazingly quite full. I will digest my 'breakfast' and utilize it throughout the day ahead of me. Maybe there is a reason that my daycare family is not following the 'rules' around here...
First of all, I must recant my rant about my hair cut a week ago (Miscommunication 101). Number one, my hairdresser remedied the bad haircut immediately. I was simply unsure how it would work once I washed it and was left to deal with it in real life. It was fine. It was perhaps better than fine. Thank you, New Hairdresser. Sometimes? The professionals know best.
Second of all, when I watched Dancing With the Stars last night and took a closer look at the Kelly Pickler hair cut that I was hoping for ... her hair is much longer on top. So it is no wonder that my hairdresser left the top of my hair untouched. My words did not match up with the picture that I had given her. She went by the picture.
We (My Son) started a deck project last fall. There was not time nor resources available to complete the job and winter was on its way, so once the base of the deck was completed it was good enough to get us through the balance of the pre-winter weather. Our plan was to add perimeter seating around the deck in lieu of a railing.
Well, our endless winter taught me three things.
- The children that I babysit do not listen to my 'rules' unless I am hovering over them at all times and reminding them.
- The children that I babysit are accident prone. One of them will trip over her shadow. Or air. Daily. Another is 'the one who will get hurt'. Every time. The third? He likes to tell everyone what the 'rules' are, but he rarely heeds his own advice.
- I believe that I may babysit 'forever'. So anything that I do, is done with child safety in mind.
This is where it started going wrong. I eyed up my neighbor's deck railing and knew in my mind that was exactly what I wanted. I found (what I thought was) similar deck railing in a flyer and showed this to My Son (who has happily resumed the Deck Project this spring). With a firm idea of exactly what I wanted, My Son went ahead and started building.
It wasn't until the actual railing started going up that I noticed that My Son and I were not on the same wavelength. He commented that he just bought one package of 'pickets' so that he could be sure that was what we needed so I (mis)understood that to mean that there was still room to change the plan. I was wrong.
It took little more than a glance at the structure to see that 'what I had hoped for' was not possible. How could this have gone so wrong? Again??
I dug through the recycling bin to recover the flyer with the picture that I had shown My Son. He has built exactly what I showed him. Once again, my words did not match up with the picture that I had given him to follow.
I questioned my hairdresser's communication skills when she did not reiterate back to me what she understood. But when she had a picture to go by, why would she question what I had asked for? Same goes for My Son.
I must take back my words and eat them. Miscommunication is a two way street. It is so easy to be misunderstood and on the flip side ... it is very easy to misunderstand what another person is telling you.
These exact words were thrown back to me recently. And they hurt. I was pointed told, "I don't think that you are understanding what I am telling you" was the exact comment. I got defensive and started simmering inside thinking to myself ... don't tell me what I am thinking. I had reiterated back what I understood and once again my words must not have matched up with what I was thinking. I had in fact completely understood correctly, but there was a miscommunication in the retelling.
The last instance was perhaps the most ideal of all three communication breakdowns. There was still a chance to remedy the miscommunication because I had communicated back what I had understood.
Communication is a two-way street. I have been feeling misunderstood a lot lately. It isn't always the other guy's fault. But I must look at my side of the equation and see what is tipping the odds against me.
If in doubt? Question. Even if you are sure you understand? Question.
These are minor little details in the realm of life. Relationships start faltering when a person feels misunderstood. We aren't mind readers. Often what we see is not what the other person means. Even when that other person is 'you'.
I'm eating crow this morning. I am amazingly quite full. I will digest my 'breakfast' and utilize it throughout the day ahead of me. Maybe there is a reason that my daycare family is not following the 'rules' around here...
Monday, April 29, 2013
I Love Mondays
Monday brings me back 'home again'. Back to the life that I long to live. I may have three small children to keep me company (and perhaps bring a dose of reality into my days), but this morning I am of a mind where I think we should just bring out all of the toys and create a little fun (aka: havoc) into the morning.
This week, though my weekdays are fully committed to my daycare charges my weekday evenings are (relatively) without commitment. I delivered my last flyer Friday night at approximately 7:38 p.m.
The weekend was one of perpetual motion thereafter.
I think that I overspent my word quota. By the time I came home from my bookkeeping job last night I was completely and totally spent.
I walked in the door and supper was on the table. My entire family was home to enjoy the meal. Not only did my Middle Son work on our deck all weekend, he cooked and invited his Older Brother over to join us last night. And I was too depleted to enjoy it ...
I didn't even have the vocabulary to say the words, "You guys talk ... I'll just listen". I was empty. I sat with words on my tongue but they were not spoken because I didn't have the energy to put them into a sentence.
All I could think was, how much do I have to do before I get to get ready for bed??
All that had to be done was done by 8:10 p.m. and I was on the couch staring mindlessly at the TV milliseconds thereafter. I think I was asleep before 8:30 (as soon as I stop channel surfing, I often fall asleep).
My brain was turned off and all I could think was, I'm so glad it is Monday tomorrow.
The flyers are gone from my life. My back, my neck, my shoulders and my thumbs are so happy. My bookkeeping boss happily declared that she will get me out to work every weekend now. I should have been jumping for joy. The income that I lose from not delivering flyers will be more than compensated for, by the extra bookkeeping hours. This could not have worked out better.
But ... every weekend? I have slept on the idea and it still doesn't sound too good. I am rather elated at the trust that has been bestowed upon me, to do a job that requires a part of my brain that is not utilized throughout the week. But ... every weekend?
Money is not everything. Waking up on a Monday morning to a day that I am so glad to have is worth its weight in gold. A day of working from home, doing mindless things, going for walks with my little people and marvelling at the wonders of birds in the sky and bugs on the ground is exactly what I am ready to do today.
I'm glad it's Monday. I don't have the energy for another weekend quite yet...
This week, though my weekdays are fully committed to my daycare charges my weekday evenings are (relatively) without commitment. I delivered my last flyer Friday night at approximately 7:38 p.m.
The weekend was one of perpetual motion thereafter.
I think that I overspent my word quota. By the time I came home from my bookkeeping job last night I was completely and totally spent.
I walked in the door and supper was on the table. My entire family was home to enjoy the meal. Not only did my Middle Son work on our deck all weekend, he cooked and invited his Older Brother over to join us last night. And I was too depleted to enjoy it ...
I didn't even have the vocabulary to say the words, "You guys talk ... I'll just listen". I was empty. I sat with words on my tongue but they were not spoken because I didn't have the energy to put them into a sentence.
All I could think was, how much do I have to do before I get to get ready for bed??
All that had to be done was done by 8:10 p.m. and I was on the couch staring mindlessly at the TV milliseconds thereafter. I think I was asleep before 8:30 (as soon as I stop channel surfing, I often fall asleep).
My brain was turned off and all I could think was, I'm so glad it is Monday tomorrow.
The flyers are gone from my life. My back, my neck, my shoulders and my thumbs are so happy. My bookkeeping boss happily declared that she will get me out to work every weekend now. I should have been jumping for joy. The income that I lose from not delivering flyers will be more than compensated for, by the extra bookkeeping hours. This could not have worked out better.
But ... every weekend? I have slept on the idea and it still doesn't sound too good. I am rather elated at the trust that has been bestowed upon me, to do a job that requires a part of my brain that is not utilized throughout the week. But ... every weekend?
Money is not everything. Waking up on a Monday morning to a day that I am so glad to have is worth its weight in gold. A day of working from home, doing mindless things, going for walks with my little people and marvelling at the wonders of birds in the sky and bugs on the ground is exactly what I am ready to do today.
I'm glad it's Monday. I don't have the energy for another weekend quite yet...
 |
| Things are coming along. Soon the backyard will be the haven that I have missed for so long ... |
Friday, April 26, 2013
Spring in My Step
The past few weeks have been soothing to the soul. I have been able to take my little daycare family outside once, if not twice every single day. While we still long for the snow to melt, a little less mud, green grass and to be in the back yard ... we are making the most out of what we have been given. And we have been given some pretty decent walking weather.
Wednesday we walked for a few hours. My girls fell asleep as we strolled. Not at the same time though. One fell asleep. When she woke up, the other fell asleep. I got a lot of flyers delivered as I waited for both girls to be awake at the same time. And my little two-year-old was so happy to be outside and moving he happily kept on walking.
We lost a boot, a watch and a mitt in our travels. Long story short, in the end we found all of the above items. But I had to retrace our steps after the kids left last night to accomplish that small feat.
My Youngest decided to join me for my walk-in-search-of-lost-treasures last night. He had walked home from school and was eager to show me the route that he took and we scouted out possible short cuts on our way home.
Welcome back, Spring. I have missed you so.
My little two-year-old is a real trooper. He walks along and 'pushes' the stroller with me while my one-year-olds sit in the lap of luxury and doze off whenever they like as we travel the city streets.
Yesterday, we headed towards a donut shop that is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump away. It was more like long, arduous trek (if you were two years old). But we simply kept putting one foot in front of the other and made our way to our destination.
We lost a boot, a watch and a mitt in our travels. Long story short, in the end we found all of the above items. But I had to retrace our steps after the kids left last night to accomplish that small feat.
My Youngest decided to join me for my walk-in-search-of-lost-treasures last night. He had walked home from school and was eager to show me the route that he took and we scouted out possible short cuts on our way home.
All in all, it was a very enjoyable day. I put on a fair amount of miles but more importantly, I breathed in a lot of fresh spring air. The breeze was warm and the sun shone upon our day (honestly, I can't remember if the sun was shining or not, but it was warm enough to remove our mitts on the way home).
I sat down at the end of the day and my Middle Son suggested that we map out a few possibilities for the completion of the deck railing and consider some fencing ideas. Oh, the mere idea of 'taking back the back yard' again (it has become the domain of my son's dogs and it is not the yard that I remember it to be) made my heart happy.
It has been a long, cold winter and I am so grateful to be back outside again. I haven't been outside much since I took my Daycare Hiatus several years ago. With every step I take, I know that I am headed back to where I long to be. I am home again. In so many ways ...
The difference a week can make:
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Momentum
I have to change a light bulb today. And while I am at it, I thought I'd sew a button onto my coat. Maybe if I get on a roll, I'll vacuum the accumulation of dust on the ceiling fan that my Youngest Son noticed a few weeks ago ...
What is happening to me? Where has my get-up-and-go gone??
I look at my week days and I feel the demands of my daycare family of one and two-year-olds are taking their toll, as the days of the week progress. How do I turn those demands around in a way that energize rather than deplete me?
I look at my weekends and I am torn by the demands that I am finding there. I have a few weekend obligations that are not hard to do. Once I am there. In fact, I feel energized because I have accomplished something, after-the-fact. If only I could place that energy within our home.
I have two days worth of flyers to deliver before I hang up my paper-carrier bag. Letting that responsibility go allows me to say that I have (almost) every week-day evening free. Free to do as I please.
What will I do with all of that free time? Maybe I should formulate a plan here and now so that it becomes as real to me as changing that light bulb and sewing on that button today.
I will:
What is happening to me? Where has my get-up-and-go gone??
I look at my week days and I feel the demands of my daycare family of one and two-year-olds are taking their toll, as the days of the week progress. How do I turn those demands around in a way that energize rather than deplete me?
I look at my weekends and I am torn by the demands that I am finding there. I have a few weekend obligations that are not hard to do. Once I am there. In fact, I feel energized because I have accomplished something, after-the-fact. If only I could place that energy within our home.
I have two days worth of flyers to deliver before I hang up my paper-carrier bag. Letting that responsibility go allows me to say that I have (almost) every week-day evening free. Free to do as I please.
What will I do with all of that free time? Maybe I should formulate a plan here and now so that it becomes as real to me as changing that light bulb and sewing on that button today.
I will:
- Read. I need input. Light and fluffy at first. Something deeper later. I simply need to reinstate the habit of reading into my life.
- Walk. I need sunlight and wide open spaces. I need to let my thoughts flow through me and I need to let them rise up into the heavens above. I need to let some things go.
- Invite people in. I have started to feel very greedy with my time once again. I know this is a warning sign. It means that I don't have enough of me left over in a day. I need to find the energy to expend because it always brings so much more back to me when I am in a state of giving.
- Work. Little things. Inside and outside of my home. I need to bring back a sense of pride of ownership with what I already have. It costs nothing to clean and cull through the excess. Physically cleaning out a closet (or drawer or room) makes room for new ideas and thought processes.
- Write. I need to let go of the idea that I can only write in the morning. I am blocking my own creativity when I put imaginary, self-imposed limitations on what I can do and when I can do it. It is time to break down those boundaries and leap over them.
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