Change

I'm considering the idea of full time schooling in the fall. Considering. At this point, I would love nothing more than to go to school from 8:45 am until 3:00 pm Monday through Friday, have 2 weeks off at Christmas and a week off in February. It is a 10 month course. If I could invest this time and know that it would take me where I want to go in my 'career' ... I'd jump at it.

But committing to that means letting go of a full time daycare income, letting go of my fall-back-job at the Credit Union. It means looking for financing. It means letting go of life as I know it. It means taking a huge leap of faith.

As I briefly mentioned the idea of going back to school in the fall (to My Youngest), he wasn't for that choice at all. I reminded him that he told me that he was tiring of the daycare life that runs our life and home. He replied, "I'm okay ... I'd just like a little break is all."

I've got 2 different scenarios running through my mind. The first, is my present-day-life-full-of-kids. I'm reaching the kid overload point and I have been for a while. The second scenario, is my ultimate goal. Being gainfully employed from the comfort of my own home. Being here before/after school and on school holidays. Eventually, running a B & B and doing book keeping as the stable part of my income ... but still working.

Getting from where I am to where I want to be is something that will take time. The wise thing to do, would be to go in stages.

My first step is to continue researching all options.

So I have new and scary ideas bouncing around in this head of mine. The state of indecision is the worst of the stages to endure. Taking forward steps are scary ... but necessary. Taking risks isn't something that I love doing. But I've done it before. I can do it again.

I have often said that I would go back to school in a heartbeat if I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Well I know.