Regaining Equilibrium

I have been blessed with quiet daycare days and no book keeping work for the first 2 days of this week. I have been revelling in the peaceful and stress free days.

I'm expecting my full daycare load today and I've been warned that the book keeping work will be coming as well. It was fun while it lasted.

Whether a work slow down falls on a weekend or if I'm lucky enough to just have some quiet in amongst the busyness of a regularly scheduled week, it feels good to slow down the pace of life.

I let things get out of control. It was an internal thing. Most people would have just coasted through and got things done when they got done. But I had to be 2 steps ahead. I seem to need to know that things aren't piling up on me.

The reward of my obsession is that I haven't had any extra to-do-tasks this week. Groceries, errands and the lawn have all been tended to. That has been a god send as I faced this week without energy.

Now ... I get to focus my energy on dancing for a while. As I make up for the lessons I missed while my instructor was off (and as we will probably continue to double up some lessons to make up for holidays we are both taking), my hope is devote some time and energy to the routine that we've been working on. I haven't been putting any extra effort into it and it shows.

When I first started dancing, I was forever dancing around the house. I would practise some basic steps and a small amount of technique as I watched the kids in the park. I would race home from my lesson and spend whatever time it took, to ingrain the lesson that was fresh in my mind into my memory and feet. I would practise dancing in the kitchen. I would turn on some music and simply ... dance.

I miss those days.

Now, it seems that I squeeze my dance lessons into my week. If I'm lucky enough not to have to run errands en route or coming home from my lesson, I often have something that must be done at home. If not, I jump into my pj's an revel in the idea of taking a night off when I return from a lesson.

When I first started dance lessons, that lesson was the one guaranteed half hour of adult company that I had in my week. I was giddy with happiness, just knowing that I got to speak to another adult being for half an hour. Now, it seems my life is fuller. I have people and commitments that fill my days.

I used to have more free time. I have filled that time with friends, family, a second job and writing projects. There isn't really one of those things that I want to give up.

The one thing that keeps surfacing when I think of 'what I'm willing to give up' ... is my daycare. I think that I have quite possibly hit 'kid-overload'.

I want to have the time and energy to dance throughout my days again. The question is: How do I get from here to there?