Is It Only Tuesday?

I think my weekend of work zapped my energy. When another load of work arrived yesterday morning, I could have wept.

But I didn't. I put in almost 4 more hours while the kids were here, but I just couldn't return to it last night after I returned from my dance lesson. Instead ... I ate.

I've been doing that a lot lately. I'm still writing down everything I eat and tracking the calories. I am amazed by the amount of days that my calories soar. But I keep eating.

I bought a book "The End of Over Eating" by David Kessler. I read bits and snatches of it before I bought it (it talks of the fat/sugar/salt craving-connection that I firmly believe is true). There is a name for people like me. I'm a hypereater.

So I zipped right through to the end to see if he had any magical solutions. I didn't find any yet. He talks of making rules for yourself, recognizing the triggers in your eating ... and then I got distracted with life and I haven't returned to see what else he says (this is another one of the 3 books I have on the go).

My first step was eating all of the bad food in the house last week. Mmmm. Sort of tasty, sort of gross. Then, when the weekend arrived what did I do? I bought some more.

I can contain myself all day. It isn't even hard. I love my breakfast and lunch menus. I sit still and savor them (I wait until all of the kid-lunch mess is cleaned up and various 'digestion' issues taken care of). I don't even crave anything between meals (or if I do, I am usually easily distracted by the demands of the day). Supper is a little harder to savor because it feels like I need to run out the door somewhere or do something after supper.

It is after supper that I get into trouble. I'll think 'just one treat'. Then the fat-sugar-salt cycle grabs me and I'm out of control.

Why am I okay all day ... and not in the evening? More often than not, I think I am rewarding myself for getting through the day. I'm nurturing 'me'. I need to find a different reward system.

As I was exercising this morning, I thought I need to associate my junk food/hypereating habits with something negative. If I could just pop a pill that made me feel nauseous every time I ate something fatty/salty/sugary. Or pop that same pill after supper so I didn't want to eat at all. Maybe I should just spin around like a kid every time I have the urge to fall prey to my eating addiction.

Or ... maybe I should just go to bed at 6:30. That might work.