The Pessimist Verses the Optimist

I have recently heard that there is something in a person's genetic make-up that predetermines their inclination towards being an optimist or a pessimist.

I am not a firm believer of using genetics as a scape goat. Even if one is genetically inclined to behave in one way, I think that personal choice is the other part of that equation (it's all about math to me).

Anyway ... (small side bar to explain my belief that addictive behaviors linked to genetic predisposition is not an excuse but a reason to make conscious choices to be the opposite).

Back to my topic ...

As I am collecting memories from my dad's family, I am blessed to have the opportunity to build a memory of my grandpa (who I have little or no memory of). I have been collecting photos and I have a vivid picture in my mind of his physical appearance. As I collect memories, I am gaining a mental image of who he was inside.

In a word, he would be best described as an optimist. During the depression years, his often recalled quote is "Next year can't be worse." Little did he know at the time, that the next year would be as bad or worse. But instead of looking back, he looked ahead. He was a planner and a risk taker. He looked at the bright side.

I've been told that this quality was one on his maternal side. Thus, attributing these traits to his family surname could be wrong. This trait could be traced back to his mother's maiden surname.

Again! I digress. But I do have a point here. There appears to be a genetic link to this optimistic view of life. I truly believe (and try to enhance) that I have been blessed with this optimistic attitude. To think that it is connected to my unremembered grandpa and his mom's side of the family and to hope that it is a gift that I can pass along to my own children is the best legacy I can think of.

Again ... I fall off of my topic ...

As I explore my family history and some 'opposites attract' scenarios in my dad's family, I posed the question to my uncles, if they thought that may have been the case with my grandma and grandma.

Grandma was somewhat introverted and a worrier. Grandpa was more outgoing and a risk taker. In recollections where I've heard Grandpa and Grandma's (remembered) thoughts on the same topic, Grandma's thoughts seemed to reflect the negative side of the 'what if' scenario. Grandpa's also looked at the 'what if' and saw the positive.

Not to put labels on them, but each had an individual and differing dominant pessimistic or optimistic nature. According to my research, this does add credence to my opposites attract theory in their case.

In Michael J. Fox's documentary focusing on researching the optimistic nature of his personality/his book (Always Looking Up), there was research documented on the optimist verses the pessimist personality.

It was learned that each personality has their unique way of looking at life and using their dominant optimistic/pessimistic way of thinking, to provide a different way of problem resolution. To force a pessimist to 'look on the bright side' is as frustrating to them, as it is for the optimist to be inundated with negativity. They will each come to a solution, but in their individual way.

I believe that it is beneficial to look at both vantage points to gain a full spectrum of thinking. I'm not so close minded as to believe that only looking at the bright side is the right way. I don't mind being challenged in my thinking and given a new perspective. I like to believe that this dynamic worked for my grandparents and it does explain the attraction of a past relationship of my own. But ...

I don't believe a relationship should result in the subtle erosion of a person's natural born ability to perceive life's experience in the way that is natural to them.

When a person can look at the differences that attracted them to a person in the first place, and accept and embrace them it is good. The problem of real-life, is that those very opposite things that attract people are the very things that act as repellents as familiarity and comfort levels allow each party to voice their opinion of the other's way of thinking.

To take away an optimist's feeling of hope and brightness of the future is like snuffing out a dream and the essence of who they are. To tell a pessimist not to worry and hope for the best? Well .... I'm an optimist, so I don't see the harm in that. But it does undermine the person that they are. And nothing good can come of not accepting your partner 'warts and all'.