Expectations

"Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed"

I know better. I've tried to teach my kids better. But I still fall into the trap of setting myself up for disappointment. I tend to get excited about the way that I expect something to happen.

First times are often the best times. Because something is new and never-before-experienced, you may have hopes but you don't have the bar set too high. If the anticipation level is low, you can often meet or exceed it.

Second and third times are a little bit like losing the 'magic of Christmas'. That ideal Christmas that just can't be beat. Expectations and the hype of the season ... learning that there is no Santa Claus ... growing up and becoming jaded when your expectations exceed the reality.

Look at children ...

You start out in life, expecting nothing. Everything is a fresh, new experience. There has been no standard set, so everything is new and a wonder to behold. Every time is "the best one yet."

It happens so gradually - the process of trying to recapture the magic that happened before. There is a little deflation, as you think this isn't what I expected ... or as good as the last time. The reality is, that in all likelihood it probably was as good as the last time. But as humans, we subconsciously expect it to be better.

I tried my best to keep my children from experiencing the let down of those magical times (birthdays and Christmas). We celebrated the day, but not in a hyped up way. I went along with the idea of Santa ... but I didn't lie to my kids and say there was one either. My intent was to try and make a special occasion or day a small family experience. Not too much hype and hopefully, not too much disappointment.

You can't protect your kids from disappointment. It comes in many forms. Maybe my kids didn't feel let down from not having expectations dashed ... but they felt the loss of not feeling the magic of anticipating something to start with. Or is it natural for a child to get excited ... and I tamped down that emotion and it was a double whammy of disappointment?

The magical moments do stand out. The year my oldest son (who was always in need of batteries and those were the meager living/strict budgeting days), got a battery charger for Christmas and was thrilled. My sister can still conger up that image, as she recalls her memory of that momentous Christmas.

Before the days of social interaction and the inevitable question "What did you get for Christmas?" from their peers, kids are so easily pleased. One Christmas, my middle son's request from Santa was for crayons and something equally as meager. It was the year that he opened up one gift and immediately sat down and played with it. He opened up his crayons and coloring book and his Christmas was complete. He got what he asked for and he colored. Expectations met, he was satisfied.

That brings me to today. We celebrated my youngest son's 11th birthday ...

Mistake #1 - we tried to recapture the magic of his 10th birthday. He was quoted as saying "This is my best birthday yet!" To try to meet and exceed that was a recipe for disaster.

We invited the same kids plus had the same theme idea. That equalled expectations. Nothing went according to plan.

I thought that this would give us the opportunity to create a new memory. I had back up plans (that unfortunately relied on the weather and the weather didn't co-operate). The fortunate thing is, that it was a sleep over. In other words, a 'do-over' opportunity this morning. "I've still got time ..." (my favorite Disney quote ) to turn this around.

I explored the Yellow Pages (we are in a hotel and I have no access to my Google connection) and I have Plans A, B, C & D to try and save the day.

This 11th birthday may be "the worst birthday yet" ... but it's good to have that experience under your belt. From here on in, it can only get better?

P.S. There is a lot to be said for a surprise party. NO expectations!