You Get What You Give in Life

What happens when you turn away from people who are seeking you out? When you become unapproachable to one ... does this manifest into the rest of your life?

As my world has become a little 'quieter', with less contact with adults outside my line of work I have been wondering if I have been creating an aura that has added to this life of relative solitude?

I have been spurning the negativity and situations which detract from my sense of enjoyment of life. I can feel the sense of unease within me, as I decline invitations and keep a wall around my feelings. I know that the reason I'm feeling this way is because I need to have a difficult conversation with the person who is trying to get past the wall.

I much prefer to be subtle and have my body language read. Lack of eye contact and not commenting on statements that are meant to lure me into a conversation that I don't want to be part of, is not working. I am reading the body language of this other party and I'm trying to portray my response. But it's not working.

The words must be spoken. It will unleash a conversation that is going backwards ... not forward. I just don't want to spend the energy it takes to say the words that will drag me back in time. To a place that I have chosen to walk away from.

I have found it interesting that as I have turned my back on one situation ... I have been on the receiving end of it in others.

Invitations and emails that usually garner a welcome reply are not being responded to in the usual manner. Yes, it is summer and people are busy outside and holidaying. People's lives are busy and not everyone is a slave to their email as I am. Logically, there is a good reason why people are not reaching back to me.

But I find it an interesting lesson in life, that I seem to be getting back what I am giving. When I give of myself, I receive much in return. When I get greedy with my time and energy, I find that I receive that as well.

"Your dad liked everybody ..." is a phrase that is resonating in my mind today. My sister grew up thinking that she had to like everybody that our parents liked. She didn't think that she had the option. It was years later, that some one told her "... but your dad liked everybody ...'' that she realized she could have her own opinion.

Having your own opinion is vital. But as I look at the situation at hand, I think that I would like to be thought of a person who likes everybody. My dad didn't judge people on anything besides what he saw and knew first hand from how they treated him. He treated everyone fairly, openly and with respect. And it would be my guess that is the way he was treated in kind. It's really no wonder that he liked everybody. If he was treated the way they treated them ... everybody would become very likable.

It's time to take a page from my dad's book. Having the 'difficult conversation' will not be easy. But it is only fair to the person who wants their words to be heard, for me to listen. This person deserves to be treated the way that I would like to be treated. I am not being a very likable person by turning my back.