Back to Reality

It's been a wonderful trip ... dreaming of the future, looking at new horizons and wondering how to get from here to there ... but I'm back on the ground again. It was a smooth landing, but I just don't want to hurry off the plane.

I have company coming tomorrow and I haven't done a thing to prepare. I've had free evenings (after a little bit of dancing) and I haven't done anything productive with my free time. I haven't had any book keeping to work on since Sunday, but I haven't filled that time with any other project. I have been living in the land of heading my life in a new direction. It's been good.

The last time I had company, I went into hyperdrive as I cleared the slate and prepared for a 'relaxing weekend'. Instead, I ended up beyond exhausted and I vowed never to repeat that sequence of events. I seem to have taken that to the extreme this time around.

I am expecting the first round of guests around suppertime tomorrow. My brother and uncle are both arriving from out of province and the first leg of our visit is 'supper for 3'. I have put out a blanket invitation to family far and wide to come and join us as it fits their schedule for the 2 days that they are here. Just a relaxed coming and going of company throughout the evening and next day is all I hope for. My sister and her husband are coming from out of town and camping out in a nearby campground. A few of my cousins and their wives are coming from out of town for the BBQ we have on the agenda. Family nearby are invited to come and go or come and stay.

The last time I gathered my cousins together, I was so wound up that I didn't savor the time I had with them. I wanted to undo the day and do it over. I now have my chance!

In the land of 'not wanting to repeat my mistakes', I believe that I may be taking this to an extreme. I want to carry this relaxed state of mind into the next few days. I want our visit to be easygoing, relaxed and fun. I know that I can exude such an incredible amount of nervous energy as I go into hyperdrive as I prepare for these 'relaxed' occasions. I am determined to be a relaxed host and enjoy the next few days as much as (I hope) my company does.

I must now walk away from the fantasy state of the past few days and return to my present day life. I am so fortunate to have this aura of excitement and anticipation ahead of me. I am determined to learn from past experiences to make this a time to remember.

The reality of life is that we really have no guarantees. We may plan big things and dream impossible dreams ... but you must learn to make the most out of the moment you are living. Living in the moment and savoring the here and now is something I have yet to conquer in my day to day life. Looking back, looking ahead and panicking over the state of my here and now seems to be 'the story of my life' ...

My present day goal is to savor the moment I am in. Back to earth, back to reality ... back to living in the moment. I'm getting off the plane now.