Dreaming ...

I've had my head in the clouds a lot lately. I've been living my life and enjoying it ... but I'm looking ahead.

I have so many hopes and dreams. Some of them short term and simple. Others are within reach but harder to attain. Others are of a life far off in my future.

Christmas is the next dream on the horizon. Our family is talking of what we want to do ... where we want to go ... and I'm thinking of gift ideas. The where, what and how of what we manage to put together, matters so little to me. My family is united. That is the biggest gift of all. Where ever we go, what ever we do ... we are talking of doing it together. What more could I hope for?

A dance competition is next on the horizon. When an upcoming competition (in February) was first mentioned at our group formation class, I thought the intent was to go as a part of that group. I was completely enthralled with the idea. I have one goal as far as dance competitions go. I want to go once. It doesn't matter to me where I go. It could be a 3 hour drive or a 3 hour flight. It could be within Canada or far from here. The where of it doesn't matter. It's the who that does. To go as part of a formation dance team would be idyllic. I don't know if it is worth it to push the envelope right now. Or wait. I do know that I love the idea of preparing to go. I absolutely love losing myself in the dance world ...

My dad's family's story is the next big goal that I hope to attain. I have enough information gathered to really sink my teeth into this project right now. I don't know what I'm waiting for. But I seem to be stuck. I love the feeling of immersing myself in another family's story. Dad's story. I just have to start ...

The education goals ... the career goals. They are all intertwined in my mind right now. I'm working at both and I'm just a tad uncertain that 'this' is how I want to spend the rest of my working life. It's a means to an end. It's my way of weaning myself out of running a daycare but still working for myself. It is my back-up retirement income. It is my future. It is necessary.

Retirement. I have a picture of where I hope to be 10 years from now. The ultimate dream. I can see it, feel it and believe that it is going to happen. Running my quaint little bed and breakfast, with other income options all wrapped up into that package. I keep adding to the dream ... I have thought of another alternate income to add to the dream package. The dream is gaining momentum in my mind.

Vacations ... travelling holds little fascination to me. It is not destinations that I dream of. It is people. People that I would like to travel with, people I would like to see, that one ultimate family vacation. The one dance competition. The friend I would like to go with on a cruise. Another friend that I would like to see at the end of that cruise destination. A cousin that I would love to 'get lost' with, in Calgary (just for old times sake). Going on a 'road trip' with a group of friends, to see a friend that we haven't seen in years. Meeting up with my siblings and Mom at a bed and breakfast. Anywhere. The only absolute destinations that I have, are those where I want to go and visit with someone.

I was talking to my Second Son the other day. He was reflecting about the conversations that he has overheard, as he sat in a coffee shop that he visits regularly. A group of retired people that get together on a regular basis and reminisce about days gone by. As he happens to overhear small snippets of their conversations, he thinks of the day when he will be the one talking about 'the good old days' with friends. He is of the mind that he wants to live life to the fullest while he is young - so that he has a lot of stories to talk about when he is having coffee with his buddies 50 years from now.

My old and wise Second Son's advise to me? "Go to that dance competition if you can ..." It will be one of the many special memories that I will be sitting back and talking about when I'm running my quaint little bed and breakfast.

I don't want to just dream. I want to act on those dreams. I want to live life to the fullest. Today.