Wafting

Some days, you wake up and it's like you're walking on a cloud. As I woke seconds before my alarm and thought about the day I have ahead of me, I rose to greet the day without effort. No snooze button. No nagging thoughts about my responsibilities for the day ahead. Only energy.

It's one day until our dance showcase. I've been involved in enough showcases to have an idea what is normal for me a day before the big event.

I am usually consumed with things that don't matter. One year, I broke a nail and I was disgusted at how such a tiny thing mattered to me. I have fretted about hair, makeup, costumes, jewelry ... and then real-life matters, such as taking care of all of my responsibilities so that I can forget about my day-to-day life for one day.

This year? I booked appointments to get my hair and nails done. I shall leave it to the pros and not obsess about the results. It's out of my hands.

I ended up having to run errands the past few days because I didn't take care of them last weekend. As frustrating as it was to make time for this during a week that was already busy, I realized that it freed up my weekend. I didn't plan it this way, but it worked out great.

I normally obsess about my weight in the months before the showcase. This year, I needed much more than a month to undo the past. Six months ago, I had a plan and goals. But I wasn't so good on the follow-through. So ... I relaxed with the whole idea. Does it really matter?

Other years, I practised. This year ... not so much. I tried to start practising too late in the game. When practising on my own, I often go through a stage where I'm practising wrong and getting the wrong information stored in my memory. Then that has to be undone at the next lesson. This year, it was too late to start that process by the time I realized that I should be practising. I am probably one of my instructor's most frustrating students. But he has been patiently working with what he's got. So be it.

This year, I am who I am.

I'm putting my worries on a shelf and just going with the flow. The whole dance experience has been new and refreshing to me this past year. I'm a different person than I was the last time I performed in a showcase. This person isn't sweating the small stuff. This person is going to have fun and be okay with whatever the day has in store.

Everything at home, work and school is taken care of. All I have left to do tonight, is go and look for some sparkly jewelry. I should have done this weeks ago. But I didn't. If I find something pretty and eye catching, I'll indulge myself. If not, I have my jewelry from other years. It fell apart when I took it out of my jewelry box and I glued the pieces back together. There is a slightly abstract look to my earrings that wasn't there before. But if I have to wear them ... it's okay.

My old frayed shoes and my mismatched earrings don't really matter in the whole scheme of things. It's what is inside of me that counts.

My heart is singing and I feel a little bit like Cinderella as I put together my outfit for the ball, with what I had on hand.

If I lose my glass slipper (aka: my old, comfortable dance shoe) as I leave the ball ... I don't need a prince to come and find that I'm the only person in the world that fits that triple E, frayed and well-worn shoe. I'll buy a new pair.

I shall dance to the music in my heart and savor the moments.