I woke up this morning knowing what I had to accomplish today. Work. Lots of it. And ... I have to wash my hair, take time for a dance lesson and we need milk. I don't think there will be enough hours in the day to log all the work-hours that I have set out for myself in an effort to pay the bills this month.
I was mulling on this when I had the thought "This would be a crappy week to die" cross my mind. A week where work ruled my life would be a bad way to go. My headstone would read "No time for fun ... but at least she paid her bills."
There was another point in my life where I had a similar epiphany. I must have just watched an Oprah episode where grown children were reflecting on their lives and the special memories that their parents made with them along the way. I looked at my life with my children and wondered what thought provoking words they would have engraved on my headstone that reflected on our family memories. All I could come up with was: "She kept a clean house."
I've lived a much more fulfilling life in between then and now. When reflecting on the memories I would be leaving behind, I've been much more content.
But it is a pivotal moment for me, when I look at the words that could summarize my life-at-the-moment and decide "Is this the legacy I want to leave behind?"
I don't want work to rule my life. I want my life to rule my work. And when I do have 'weeks like these' where (by necessity), work does rule my day ... it is my hope to have moments worth remembering, even when I'm knee deep in the reality of paying the bills.
"We do not remember days; we remember moments. ~Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand"
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