Keeping the Faith

I've been harping a lot about the power of positive thinking. The power of visualizing what you want in your life, believing it and subconsciously moving your world towards the goals you want to attain.

I've read and I believe that you must see a clear goal. Know exactly what you want. Be specific. Set time lines and state exactly what you want to achieve. Don't worry about the ''how do I get form here to there". Know where you want to be and the middle part - from 'here' to 'there', will work itself out.

Have faith. Believe. Don't let the negative self talk detract from where you want to be.

Yes, I talk the talk ... but this past week, it has been harder to walk the walk.

This new life is not going exactly as I had planned. The work isn't there. I'm ready and waiting for work and the work doesn't come. I have wasted more time this past week, as I live in a state of flux. The month is ticking by and I haven't been working. I have bills to pay and just a fraction of the pay cheque that I am accustomed to, coming in at the end of the month. And that potential pay cheque keeps shrinking with each day that the work doesn't come.

It has been uncomfortable. But in reality, it hasn't been that long. The first two weeks of the month, I was not in full-time-work-mode. I finished school on Wednesday of last week. It has only been four days. But it is all of the days that I was geared up and ready, but didn't have the work to do. It is the fact that I only have a finite amount of days left in the month to earn what I need to pay the bills. It is knowing that this is the way it has always been with this job. Why did I expect it to change?

I kept telling myself "Give it a month", "Remain positive ... it will work out ... it always works out in the end", "Keep believing, keep positive, don't let the negative in". But I was losing faith.

I am planning a holiday adventure of a lifetime for next summer. It's a year away. I am going to find a way to go no matter what. I am meeting up with a long-time friend and we are going to have a reunion to remember. My finances are in a very scary state at the moment, but that is not standing in the way of my plan. I am going.

I received an email from this friend last night. She sounded so eager and excited. I read it and I tried to feel it too. I searched the Internet for ideas for this upcoming holiday and I got swept away. But I couldn't reply immediately. I couldn't share her excitement.

I woke up this morning and took control of my day.

I remembered that there was some work that I could work on for my bookkeeping job. I worked at that until I hit a wall. Then I called my boss and asked for more work. She is also stuck between a rock and a hard place, but I knew there were other things that I could be working on until such time that the flood gates open on all the work that has been on hold. She emailed me some information so that I could go ahead with what I was working on. I could move forward.

At this point, I was in the mindset to reply to my excited friend. I was in the middle of replying to her email telling her that due to my present financial state of disrepair, I wasn't quite in the place to mirror her excitement. But I was still planning on going to see her. No matter what. I was going to be there. I was certain that the excitement would come, but it just wasn't quite 'here' yet ...

Then the phone rang.

I sent out a resume 6 months ago. One resume for a casual typing position. It was a resume sent off before I took my 'Job Search and Resume Writing' course. It was a resume sent when I was mid-way through my studies. It was a resume written on a lot of hope, past experience and a good work ethic. It was a promise of what I hoped I could be.

When I didn't receive a call after that resume went out, I chalked it up to experience. I never did delete the email that I sent along with it. I thought that I would follow up one day and ask for their advice as what I could do to 'sell myself' for the next time.

Well? That resume landed me a job today. They needed someone to come in immediately to type up three documents. I was in their office within 20 minutes of that phone call. I worked for 4 1/2 hours. I made enough of an impression that he promised that he had lots of work and he would definitely call me if I was interested.

Was I interested?!?! You betcha! Opportunity was knocking. And I was home to answer the call.

Was this part of the ''how'' to get from "A" to "B"? Not specifically. But as it has been in this quest to gain control of the direction my life is headed, I'm open to any and all opportunities. A casual typing position today, working with a businessman/lawyer could lead to any number of unknown opportunities. And if nothing else, it can definitely pave the way to my Next Holiday Adventure.

My faith was wavering. It was being tested. I was holding out, but it was not easy. And I was rewarded.

Never give up.