A Summary

My thoughts won't stop on one topic long enough for me to write a little blog about it. I don't seem to have one underlying theme to stop and focus on. So I'll just ramble this morning. It feels like that kind of day.

Where do I begin?

June 25th. That was the last day that my school was open (it closes for a two week summer vacation). Even though I'm approximately one day away from completing the last course that I need to earn my diploma, I couldn't do it on June 25th. I had logged my school hours for the week (and then some), so I had the choice to focus on other things that day. For sanity's sake, I fully believe that I made the best choice - not to focus on school that day.

June 25th. The last day of school for the kids. The last of the school supplies and excessive paperwork came home. The report card came home. I read it. Once. It is clipped to the side of the fridge so that I can look at it again. Someday.

June 25th. My last day of babysitting. Perhaps ... for forever. I did a little checking yesterday and I will be losing money, if I babysit the one child that needs me for one hour before school next fall. I'm seriously considering abandoning ship. More research is required. But June 25th? My last day of babysitting? Completely uncelebrated and unacknowledged. The end of my daycare career went out with as little fan fare as it received when I started.

June 25th. The first night of 'Dance Camp'. Three hours of dance lessons (thankfully with a short break after each hour). We focused on the Waltz, the Tango and the Foxtrot. Oh ... my aching feet. My favorite part of the whole evening? Getting to visit with all of the people that don't normally come out to the group dance classes. I felt like a kid. "My favorite part was recess!" My brain stops working when my feet start hurting. So I absorbed approximately 45 minutes of knowledge out of a total of 180 available minutes of dance education.

Then came the next day:

June 26th. The second day of 'Dance Camp'. This time, it was three hours of dance lessons (Cha Cha, Rumba and Swing), followed by a pot luck supper ... at my house. I cleaned nooks and crannies that haven't been cleaned since our cat had fleas, in preparation for my company. I got obsessive about things I wanted to do and organize before my guests arrived (thus, I didn't go to school on the 25th). And it was worth the effort.

I loved having people gather in my home. Loved it! It took a while before I sat back and just relaxed ... but once I did, I savored every moment. It is great to have the opportunity to get to know my dance acquaintances outside of the dance studio. It was symbolic to open my home and life to these new friendships. My world feels bright and shiny and new, as I take steps to know people and let them know a piece of me.

June 27th and 28th. Time to rest, appreciate and absorb the events of the weekend past. It was wonderful. I did question my ability to function as a human being as I lost my train of thought in mid sentence, jumbled up words when I spoke, lost the car (and My Youngest) in a parking lot and other miscellaneous things. But it felt very good to stop for a few days and catch my breath. Because ...

June 29th, I had my cousins over for supper/the evening. It was a quiet and laid back visit. Initially, I had sent out an invitation asking who may be interested in getting together to collect memories for the family history book that I'm compiling. There wasn't much feedback on that idea, so we just visited and caught up with each other's current lives instead. Very enjoyable.

June 30th - we headed off to visit my mom. No predetermined plans once we got there. It was a play it by the moment kind of holiday. Normally when I go to Mom's, we do a fair bit of gallivanting. Between trying to visit old friends and taking My Youngest a few places to entertain him, we bounce in and out of Mom's doors a lot. Not this time. My Youngest packed his X-Box and was content to stay put. I went out one evening with a friend. But the rest of the time? Mom and I visited. We reminisced about family history ... we talked about many things (in a light and easy way). We didn't dwell on anything negative, worrisome or serious for any length of time. The visit was to be of the 'feel-good' variety. And it was.

July 4th. We returned home. We walked in the door at 5:30 and I was back out the door by 6:00. I had supper with My Oldest and then we came home and had a long overdue one-on-one chat. It was perfect. My cousin's wife dropped by after My Oldest left. It was 10:00 before I locked the door and I was alone.

July 5th. I went out for an all-morning coffee with my Second Son. I came home and called my sister. I wasn't ready to return to my regularly scheduled life quite yet. So I lingered somewhere in limbo between holidays and reality that day. It was a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

July 6th - yesterday. Back to the real world. I had statements to work on for my bookkeeping job. I put in a 6 1/2 hour work day. I made supper. I sent off a handful of emails to people I wanted to 'talk' to. I talked to a friend on the phone. I ended the day by falling asleep in front of the TV set. Ahhh ... reality.

I love my reality. The past weeks have been fun, but if I didn't have this routine life to return back to I would be lost.

My routine life is undergoing some change. It will be interesting to see what the next months have in store, as I focus on one job. I wonder what energy I will have in me at the end of the day and the end of the week. Where will I divert the excess time?

Almost every email that I sent out yesterday was initiating a gathering of friends or a one-on-one visit with someone. Somehow, I have a feeling that my time will be filled with people and activities that fuel me.

I am excited about what life has in store. I feel like I'm on the cusp of a new beginning. I have time in my life to allow new life into it. I have a little piece of happy within me. And as I told my mom, "I just feel a little bit happier every day!"

Life just doesn't get any better than this ... or does it? Stay tuned!