Real Life

This 'all work and no play' is taking the fun out of life.

I was just plain cranky on Sunday. I needed to work. Not because the work couldn't have waited a day, but because I seriously needed to log some work hours. I need a pay cheque that covers more than our grocery bill.

I stopped to put supper on the table for our family but it was the most tasteless, bland meal that I've ever made. In a word? Blech.

Conversation didn't flow. We went our separate ways soon after supper and I returned to my work. Sunday is my favorite day of the week. Not this past Sunday!

Then came Monday. I logged 4 1/2 hours at my typing job, grabbed McDonald's for lunch (I deserved a break that day!), read for a while and even closed my eyes. Then I was back to the grind and logged 7 1/2 hours at my bookkeeping. But at least it was Monday. You expect to work on a Monday.

Yesterday was a day that didn't go as planned but I got a lot done in spite of the fact. I got a very, very tedious bookkeeping job started and finished within a 10 hour time span. That felt so good that I actually woke up with energy this morning.

But it was the mail that sent me on an inner rant yesterday. I got my documents from Student Loans because I finished school early.

I was tentatively excited when I opened the first envelope to read "We are pleased to advise you that you have been approved for the following grants/bursaries ..." Then I opened the next envelope which contained information on my loan reassessment. That one brought me down to earth.

In a nutshell, there was little to no advantage of finishing off school two months early. I see no benefit thus far, to achieving the marks I received. I worked hard, I did my best, I treated school as I would treat a job ... and the reward? I lost $525 of the student loan grant that I had previously qualified for ... I received an 'overpayment' of $1,378 (thankfully this will repaid over the lifetime of my student loan and they don't expect a cheque in the mail) ... but at least I won't owe an extra $631 (which would have been my August 1 living allowance). In a nutshell, I came out of this owing $106 less than I would have, had I taken the extra 2 months to complete my schooling.

To top that off, I have lost three sources of income this month. To be replaced with a job where I logged 60 hours of work in a three week time frame due to a lack of work available. A job where I have no guarantees, no control over the work flow, no 'room' to flex my organizational skills to make my job easier.

I did everything right! There has to be some kind of cosmic payback for this. But it isn't apparent at the moment. It will come. It always does.

But at this very moment? I am just a little disillusioned ...