Before the ceremony started, I listened to the conversation between the host and co-hosts and learned a little more than I knew before I opened my eyes. I heard Oprah was in attendance, there were many shots of George Clooney and his wife (I had my eyes on George for a while and tried to superimpose myself in Amal's place. I couldn't have walked in those shoes. Good thing George didn't choose me).
My head was filled with new thoughts, images, memories of prior royal weddings as I watched the scene set out before me. The house was still and dark. I was alone, among the billions of others who tuned in to watch the ceremony along with me.
Then the wedding began.
All conversation stopped which is probably the reason I awoke (I must have dozed off there for a minute) and there she was. Meghan was ready to make her entrance (did I miss the procession before her I wondered?).
Meghan walked down the aisle with a smattering of small children behind her, reminiscent of Diana's young wedding party.
The camera panned to Harry and I soaked in his smile. His expression reminded me of my son (maybe we are related - I always told Mom I thought she had blue blood in her). The moment was serene in a very openly public way. The looks Harry & Meghan shared were simply special.
I watched, I listened and absorbed what I could in my sleep deprived state. I must have nodded off again because when my consciousness was awoken again, it was to the impassioned words being spoken about love.
I listened intently to this talk and wondered if this was the same minister who started the ceremony. I don't pay attention to those kinds of details when I'm taking in other important matters like how Harry is looking at Meghan, the twinkle in her eyes and special glance she reciprocated in kind.
I was captivated by the sermon, the subject matter of "love" and how the message applied to not only the royal couple, but to the entire world. I immediately wondered how this sermon, the platform and timing would be received by the world.
It was then, when I appreciated my isolation. I could sit alone with my own thoughts before surveying the Internet and social media to tell me what to think. So I thought. Alone. Without input.
After this impassioned speech ended, it was followed by a gospel choir who sang "Stand By Me". Wow.
It was in and about this time when I started to notice the cultural diversity which was a huge part of the scene in front of me. Was this lady the camera kept panning Meghan's mother? Hmmm? I had a faint memory of hearing the phrase "bi-cultural wedding" being tossed around in the days before the wedding. I honestly hadn't noticed.
Once your consciousness wakes up, it sees more. Suddenly I was looking at this royal wedding in a way I had never seen a royal wedding before.
I heard the music. I thought of how deeply moved Mom was, when it came to music. I fell off the royal wedding band wagon and thought of Mom's funeral - I wish it had been more of "this". Music is a universal language. It is powerful and speaks to the soul.
I thought of Mom. I think she would have liked this wedding. I believe she had a soft spot for Harry (he reminded her of one of her great grandsons - see?? There is that royal blood connection again). I was certain Mom had a book on Harry. But not one of Harry and Meghan. That story was still developing.
My thoughts drifted from here to there to everywhere as I watched the remainder of the wedding ceremony.
I thought of the queen, who is the same age as my aunt would have been (Mom's sister - that royal blood connection again), watching on as her grandson was married. Mom attended the wedding of her oldest great grandson last summer.
So many of my thoughts pinged back and forth between the royal wedding, the history, the future of royalty and Mom as I watched Harry and Meghan's wedding before the hosts came back on and recapped the events of the hours preceding.
How often are we truly "alone" with our thoughts these days?
Checking in on social media is habit forming and impedes unique thinking. Being able to Google something without trying to force the memory of something you know you should know must slow down the brain's ability to fire those neurons which click into gear when digging up a memory from long ago.
As I quietly revelled in being alone with my interpretation of the royal wedding unfolding in front of me in real time, another part of me was curious about what "the world" would have to say about this history altering event. I had not yet turned off the TV before I tuned into the world wide web to satisfy my curiosity.
I enjoyed revelling in my own thoughts. I need to unplug myself from this eternal need to feel connected at all times.
"I might miss a text ... or invitation ... or phone call" or "What if someone needs to get ahold of me?" Do you know what? We managed very well in the days before cell phones, computers, WiFi and internet connections. Maybe we missed a few calls that could have changed our lives. Maybe now we are taking too many calls and headed down paths we were never meant to take.
I have a "completely unplugged weekend" booked next month. I have been declining this invitation for years. This year, I finally said "Yes".
It is time. Time to think my own thoughts without weighing them against the opinions of the world around me.
I enjoyed my private invitation to watch the royal wedding. Alone. Without the dialogue of the hosts slanting my view. My view where I saw little more than two hopeful people in love and promising to forge a future together.
It isn't a storybook ending. It is a storybook beginning. I wish Harry and Meghan the best. I will pull out Harry's book from Mom's library and attempt to "unplug" for the remainder of the weekend. Or at least cut back. I need to hear what I'm thinking again.
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