It Was a Very Good Day

I'm back!!!

It started with an innocent "Do you feel like company?" It resulted in invitations to my sisters and my own little family and a delightful afternoon of visiting, barbequing and simply living in the moment. A person could not have planned or hoped for the day to turn out any better.

It was all very impromptu, last moment, low expectations and (as always, it seems) the weather, everyone's plans and all the little details worked themselves out without so much as a wrinkle.

The potato salad had a few kinks in the process. My vacuum cleaner up and quit on me mere minutes before my company arrived. I forgot about the potatoes sitting in the oven that I had prepared. But it all worked out in the end.

Minor details.

All four of us (Mom's family) gathered together the weekend before Mother's Day. This couldn't and wouldn't have happened next weekend. The weekend before Mother's Day was perfect. We were all together. Spouses and a few of our children joined us. It was a prequel to our up and coming family reunion.

It was light and easy in every sense of the word.

I felt Mom in and around and through me in most every moment as this weekend started to unfold.

My brother was coming and as Mom would often say, "I'll just invite a few people in, so he has other men to visit with".

I decided I could and should prepare a potato salad. Mom taught me all her little tips and tricks on making her potato salad and it is one of the very few (if any) things I make without a recipe. She liked her potato salad a certain way and I wondered if mine would measure up to hers (my sister said it tasted like Mom's ... she is very kind that way).

I bought some pre-formed hamburgers and hoped for the best. The "meat and potatoes" part of the meal was always what Mom focused on. I'm not good with meat, but apparently I can buy a pretty good burger. The meat was a success (thanks to my brother-in-law taking over the role of chief cook and barbequer).

I prepared some oven roasted potatoes. I had them sitting and waiting in the oven. All I had to do was remember to turn them on. I forgot. We snacked on them late last night and had them with scrambled eggs and toast this morning. All was not lost, but Mom would have NEVER forgotten to turn on the potatoes!

We indulged in some alcoholic beverages. Just a few. Only before supper. Mom would not have done that but we enjoy having a drink with each other. So we added our own relaxed flavor to our small gathering.

We ended the meal with coffee and dessert. Again, someone told me the coffee was good (people are far too kind to me - I never quite know if they are teasing, faking or if they are telling me the truth, so there is no need to worry about a comment or compliment going to my head).

It seemed everyone had someone to visit with. The male to female ratio and the personalities of those in attendance were pretty close to ideal.

It was relaxed, easy and it all came together without forethought. It just happened.

Our family was reunited one more time. Just because we could. No obligation to be there. The focus was on the present and future.

Life is moving on. This is good. We will continue to unite and reunite as a family without duty or obligation to be there for each other. We simply enjoy each other's company.

We all parted ways, knowing we will be joining together at our family reunion in a few months.

After Mom died, it was "just the four of us" so very much of the time. Conversations, decisions and dealing with all that Mom left behind was a time for family and family alone. It was a special time and we realized as those days were winding to a close, that we would never have "that" again.

It was hard to let that go but it was necessary.

Our family unit is still united but even more importantly, our circle has easily expanded to welcome and include spouses, children and "the future" into the mix.

Not having a spouse or partner may have made me a little more dependent on family than the rest. My siblings were so sensitive to this fact and made so many allowances for me to lean in a little harder and need a little more. At no time did I feel alone. I knew they were all just a phone call or a visit away.

I don't feel as dependent now. This is important and so very necessary.

I don't know how Mom stood so solidly on her own all of those years. I feel so weak standing here in her shadow. But yesterday? I felt the essence of her slip into my every move and decision. I didn't even realize it as it was happening but I recognized it after the fact.

I subconsciously recreated our "last good day" together. It was a day as close to perfect as I could have ever hoped for. We made a potato salad. It was the last thing we did together. Yesterday, I made "her" salad to share with her family.

And it was good. It was very good (if I do say so myself).

I am starting to live in my Field of Dreams once more. "If you invite them, they will come". And they did! I couldn't be more grateful.