Fitting In

When we fit into the neat and tidy boxes the world has set out before us, we must take a moment to appreciate how tiny those boxes are.

The very word “box” defines how specific the classification is. It is like having to answer “True” or “False” to a question that demands explanation.

The first conversation I had with my child, as they revealed their inner self to me, was telling me they didn’t even know what box to check on an application form. Nothing fit. Male was not right. Female didn’t feel comfortable. “Other” was perhaps too hard to put down on an official document. Something as simple as an application form was difficult for them because they didn’t know what box fit any more.

I felt a wave of relief that society is opening up to all of the unfilled boxes when it comes to sex at birth/gender when I completed my Census questionnaire. It asked two distinctly different questions:

-          What was this person’s sex at birth? (sex refers to sex assigned at birth). Two boxes. Male; Female.

And

-          What is this person’s gender? (refers to current gender which may be different from sex assigned at birth and may be different from what is indicated on legal documents). Three selections: Male; Female; or please specify this person’s gender.

Fitting into a “box” is constricting for all of us. Life isn’t black and white. There isn’t a right/wrong; true/false answer to most questions. Life is all shades of gray, or perhaps more aptly life is all the varying hues of a rainbow.