Gender Reveal

Gender reveal parties seem to be all the rage among new parents. I tend to get my hackles up when I hear the words. Do I feel this is worth acknowledging and celebrating? Yes. But let’s let the child decide when to reveal their gender.

Gender is something we grow into and feel out along the way. It is uncovering and discovering our inner selves. It is figuring out if what is inside of us matches what is on the outside.

One’s sex assigned at birth is biological. It is like hair color or the size of our nose. It is what it is. Until one decides they want to color their hair or get a nose job, if what is on the inside doesn’t match what is reflected in the mirror.

Discovering and revealing one’s gender is a concept that is relatively new to many. I admit I am one of those people. Until recently, I didn’t fully grasp the idea that sexuality and gender are two distinctly different concepts. They are interconnected but they are not the same. That is, until my youngest child, who was determined to be male at birth, revealed they felt more comfortable as a female.

As I write this, I have a hard time referring to my youngest with he/him pronouns. Using the wrong pronouns wounds my child’s integrity. They/them pronouns were a transition. A stepping stone to she/her.

It has taken time to take this all in and comprehend it as much as I possibly can. I’ve come a long way and I have a long way to go. But I do believe the time for a gender reveal party has come.

I just want to announce to the world, “It’s a girl! I have a daughter!!”