Unrelated Thoughts ... This is How My Brain Works:

Well, my clock radio didn't wake me up to the tune of "Tonight's gonna be a good night" this morning. Condo ads and home renovation promotions were on this morning's agenda. Commercials. Selling. Pressure. Blech.

So I hit the snooze button. Four times. Kinda like spinning the wheel of fortune. Where it stops, nobody knows. Ads, ads and more ads. It must be Friday. Those in the selling business are ramping up the volume to get people out there spending their money instead of singing the tune "Tonight's gonna be a good night" ...

I walked down the hallway as I faced the day. And John Denver was singing in my mind. "Like a sleepy blue ocean ... you fill up my senses ..." Ah! Now that's a better way to start the morning.

The price that I must pay for having Monday off of school, is that I still have some hours to log today. I only have to put in a half day. But I have to leave the confines of my home. Sigh.

But, it's been a productive week at school. I wrote another exam.

Oh! The angst that I put myself through before I write those exams. I felt so confident when I finished that course last week, that I thought I should just write the exam immediately. Without studying. I wish they would give us a trial run so that we could see where we stand before we start to study. But that isn't the way of the school world. No trial runs. You write the exam when you decide you are ready. And you get what you get. So I studied.

I had all weekend to put school work out of my mind. A four day weekend to boot. I cracked open the books Tuesday morning and I was overwhelmed. I thought "I can't remember reading this!"

I slowly waded through the chapters. Reading. Listening to the audio tapes. Making notes. Dozing off (yes, I've been known to actually find myself waking up with a start as I sit and ''study'').

I did this for two days. By the end of the second day, I was a wreck. I kept reading things as if I was reading them for the first time. I kept nodding off. How much can you absorb when your mind is in a catatonic state? I fretted. I stewed. My heart started to palpitate.

At the end of the second day, I still had two hours left. Enough time to write that exam and just get it over with. Be done with it. Grit my teeth and bare it. Whatever mark I got, I deserved. I couldn't take the pressure any more.

As it is in life, the reality wasn't half as bad as what I had imagined it would be. As I went through the exam, my heart was beating regularly (for the most part). I was 2/3 of the way through the exam when I thought I was finally hitting the tough part. But I read, reread and figured out my answers. It was going to be okay.

These are online exams. At the end of them, you simply hit a key ... close your eyes ... and your final mark leaps out from the computer screen at you.

The moment of truth. What will be will be. I was done. It was time to move on to something new.

Da-da-da-daaaa ... I hit 'the button' that would tell me what I needed to know, to move forward.

100%.

I can't believe that I psyched myself up and worried a few years off of my life. I knew that I felt confident before I started to study.

I guess I'm just a perfectionist at heart. It's nice (every once and a while) to see that pushing myself does help me achieve my goals.

What goals should I set for this weekend?? I don't think it will be home renovations &/or condo living. Your advertising can't harm me! My mind is like a shield of steel!!

I shall shun this morning's radio ads and create my own destiny. I believe that I may start by cracking open the book "The Passion Test" ... The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Destiny.

I'll bet it doesn't tell me to renovate my home or buy a condo.

A Good Way to Wake Up

I shamed myself into cleaning last night. And it wasn't awful.

Last Friday's unfinished cleaning had been haunting me for five days. Five days of that bathroom cleaner and rag taunting me , "I'm still waiting ..."; five days of the dust rag in the kitchen gathering dust. Five days, I stared those cleaning tools in the face and walked away.

I can't believe the energy it takes to avoid something. I love the energy I get by waking up and knowing that I don't have unfinished chores awaiting me.

I was spurred on to not only wash and dry a load of laundry ... but to do this early enough in the evening so that the clothes were put away before the night was over (I have gotten into the nasty habit of throwing a load of wet clothes in the dryer just before I go to bed at night).

I turned on the dishwasher (not a hard thing to do) early enough so that the dishes were put away last night.

I looked around the house before I called it a night and I was pleased. I knew that I wouldn't have any of these jobs waiting for me in the morning. Oh-what-a-feeling (in my old life, this was a habit).

This morning, my alarm woke me to the (exact) lyrics "Tonight's gonna be a good night!" (Blackeyed Peas). I hit my snooze button; let those good words roll around in my mind; remembered that I have a dance lesson tonight; and then I remembered that all of my chores were done last night.

I hopped out of bed with a gusto this morning. All the while thinking, "Tonight is going to be a good night!!"

This morning isn't too shabby either.

Cleaning is Highly Overrated

I started cleaning the house on Friday. I never did finish ...

I was determined to finish the job that I started. I left the bathroom cleaner out on the bathroom counter. The rag is right there. All I would have to do is take a few minutes and do the job. I haven't.

I started dusting. I got as far as the flat surfaces in the kitchen. I left the dust rag out so that I could just grab it and swipe down the rest of the house. It's still sitting there.

As I scraped the dried on ketchup out of the kitchen sink this morning, I got to thinking about what I used to think 'cleaned itself' around the house (before I was the one ultimately responsible for the job). I would have thought that anything in the kitchen sink would automatically wash itself. Water is always passing through ... why wouldn't that eventually wash away any dried on food particles? The toilet and bathroom sink? Same thing (no need to go into details).

Then there is the grass, dirt, sand and grime that makes its way into the entrance ways. This is a pet peeve of mine. I am constantly vacuuming, sweeping and shaking out the mat. I think that my family members assume that the dirt from the entrance way takes care of itself. It's clean all the time, isn't it? I think the cat thinks the same of the kitty litter ...

Ever since I started taking an interest in other things that life has to offer, my house has suffered. I used to take pride in clean, organized and dejunked closets and drawers. Now? The closets have doors, don't they? And if you can close a drawer ... it must be clean. Right?

Every now and again I used to save on the grocery budget by convincing myself that we could survive (on the stockpile of groceries that amassed in the house) for at least a month. So I would cut down on groceries and empty out the cupboards and freezer. Lately? I may start to do that. But the instant that some of the supplies start depleting, I start replenishing them. This started just before New Year's Eve 1999, when there was such talk about world wide computer crashes stopping our world. I thought that candles, flashlights, batteries and extra food would save us. It seems to have become a habit.

Clean windows? Clean floors? Raking the lawn? Washing the car? All of the above hurt my shoulder. I'm working at fixing what ails my shoulder. Before long, I should have full mobility once again. I wonder what excuse I'll find then. Trust me ... I find that once I break a good habit, I have no trouble incorporating (the lack of) it into my everyday life.

I look back at the person that I used to be ...

I would devote an entire weekend to decluttering the closets. And that was all that I would talk about for a week. Heavens! I'm sure that I even have memories of showing people my clean oven &/or closets. How shallow I used to be!

The next weekend, I may focus on cleaning windows, light fixtures and vacuuming out the registers. Oh, the satisfaction I used to get from knowing that all of these nooks and crannies were clean!! I would sit down at the end of the day and just gaze at all the cleanliness. It would be the focal point of my conversations. It's really no wonder I didn't have many friends back then.

Then after all of that, I would gather all of my old treasures and start to organize a garage sale. This would entail cleaning out the garage. Can you imagine the conversations that triggered?

If that wasn't enough, I would spend the next weekend sitting in the garage with all of my excess clutter and try to sell it. This was exciting for me! I would fill up the coffee butler, take out a pad of paper and crossword puzzle. It was my excuse to sit still for two days. I loved it! The bonus was, getting to talk to some of my neighbors that dropped by. Neighbors who were privy to look 'inside of my closets' and make their assumptions about the kind of person that I was. Just by looking at the wares that I was trying to sell. Talk about airing your dirty laundry ...

That ... was my life.

Then ... I started writing. I started a blog. I started collecting memories about Mom's family. I started dancing again. I started immersing myself in 'all things family' and invited family into my life. I called friends and suggested wild and crazy things (okay, okay ... it was just a day at Moose Jaw ... but back in the day where the highlight was sitting in the garage with my garbage, this was a milestone). Amazingly enough, when I wasn't talking about cleaning, dejunking and having a garage sale ... people actually started to act like they enjoyed my company.

I am living my life now. I have never been happier. And ... I get a little bit happier every day.

Cleaning, my friend (this blog was inspired by an email from an overwhelmed friend who commented that there were so many things she should be doing ... spring cleaning, for one) ... is highly overrated!

“My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?” - Erma Bombeck

Connections

There is an invisible connection between people. That 'feeling' of thinking you should call someone. A friend that keeps popping into your mind. Sometimes we don't even realize it is happening until we follow through and make that call (or email).

Yesterday, I finally sat down and made those 'connections'. I had a handful of people that I kept thinking about. I would sit down at the computer to send an email, but the words didn't come. I would make a tentative phone call, and the line would be busy. I didn't make the connection. Until yesterday.

The reasons that I was thinking of each of the people I contacted was varied. The responses from each and every email that I sent, told me that my instincts were right. I really needed to reach out to these friends.

The busy-ness of our world today is wide spread. It seems that life is busy for everyone. But even when you are busy, it's good for your health to stop and breathe. Talk with a friend. Take a moment to recharge and reflect. It's energizing.

If you are thinking about someone ... tell them. You won't regret it. And neither will the person you've called.

Two Sundays

The kids have the day off of school today. Thus ... so do I.

As I awoke to this reality, the day started to feel like a second Sunday. My favorite day of the week.

Before my conscious mind was fully awake, I drifted back to sleep and I dreamt.

I dreamt of the phone ringing and all of a sudden I made some plans. In my dream, I was only tending one (older) child so I was in a pick-up-and-go state.

Then the night mare began. I had forgotten that I had to await the arrival of another child. A small child. All of a sudden, I was going to be late for my plans ... the car was going to be so full of car seats that I wouldn't have room for the people that I had planned to pick up. A fun, quick and easy little outing turned into a state of confusion. And I was going to be late!

Eventually, I awoke from my little nightmare.

Not only do I appreciate that I am going to have a 'second Sunday' ... but I'm love, love, loving my downsized daycare load with children who are less dependent on me.

But I still run a daycare. My day could change with just one phone call. Maybe I won't answer it.

Weight Bearing Exercise

As I flipped, tossed & turned and eventually turned off my alarm this morning, my first conscious thoughts were "It doesn't hurt!"

I rolled over and my neck didn't seize. I flip flopped from one side to the other and my tender shoulder held its own. It was a painless night. I am blessed.

Each time I appreciated this flexibility, I wondered "What made the difference?"

• Are my stretching exercises starting to kick in?
• Is it the special sore-neck pillow that my sister gave to me? (Thanks, sis!)
• Was it because I kept moving yesterday?
• Is it because my varied tasks kept my body flexible instead of working at a repetitive task?
• Did tying up many loose ends in my bookkeeping jobs take the weight off of my shoulders?
• Or was it all of the above?

I tend to think that it was a little bit of everything. But the one thing that I attribute to my ability to relax and enjoy a painless sleep last night, was tending to the weighty issues of the work that I have been putting off.
I have not moved mountains the past few days, but I've moved enough hills to feel pretty good. Paper shuffling, sorting, posting and all of that good stuff isn't exactly a cardio work out. But it feels good to have control over my workload.
My shoulders aren't bearing any excess weight. That feels good in both a mental and a physical sense.
The key is to keep the weight bearing exercises at a tolerable level. It's good to know you have the stamina to endure. But carrying those weights around without dealing with them is not the route to take.
My advice:

• Dump the weights that you can.
• Deal with the excess weights so that you aren't carrying them around needlessly.
• Work with what is left.

A few weight bearing exercises are good for the body and soul. Carrying around dead weight ... is hard on the neck.

Planning 101

It's time to make a plan and stick with it!

The instability of my bookkeeping job has not been conducive to living life according to a schedule. It's kind of nice to have some flexibility in a job, but too much is a dangerous thing.

I love, love, love the flexibility that my school allows. I must put in a certain amount of hours per week, within the hours that they are open. I can put in more hours if I wish. I've been able to work in three separate weeks of holidays, as long as I fulfill my school hour requirement before (or immediately after) I take the time I need.

It's important to have 'minimum requirements' and it is truly a bonus when there is some wiggle room as to how you attain that. Too much room equals procrastination.

I can work at my bookkeeping seven days a week, 20 hours (I'm not crazy ... need to sleep!) a day if I want to. Too much room to put off until later, what I should be doing right now.

I am starting to work on another family history book. I have a self proclaimed deadline that I plan to attain. I need that. But in the mean time, I tend to think "I'll work on it when I have time." I never make the time.

I am (supposedly) my Middle Son's bookkeeper for his new business. He's been in business for one month. I have figured out the computer accounting program that I hope to use to keep his books. I just have to sit down and do the work.

I have a lot to do. And here I sit. With my coffee ... blogging all about it. Doing nothing.

Yesterday was a productive day. I worked nine hours at my bookkeeping job. They are under the gun to get one year-end wrapped up so that they can deal with the next year-end (at the end of this month). My abilities are limited, but I'm ready, willing and able to do whatever it takes to get the work done. So yesterday, I worked feverishly at the tasks at hand. I cleared the slate so that I am ready. And it felt good.

Last night was supposed to be devoted to dealing with my Middle Son's books. I was going to sit down at the computer and work at it until it was done. But ... going out for a cup of coffee sounded like a better offer. Besides, my neck was stiff and I thought that I should get out of the sitting-at-the-computer position. Sitting-and-having-coffee uses totally different neck muscles.

This morning, I promised myself that I would work at my family history project for two hours. Then two hours later in the day. Repeat, as necessary until the job gets done.

I presently have two bookkeeping jobs. I should be finished my schooling by Christmas. My goal is to complete my dad's family history before Christmas. It's happening. Room is being made for great things. I can't wait to see what life has in store after I wrap up a few unfinished tasks.

Oh ... the plans that I have! They are grand. I just have to do the work and attain those goals. I have a feeling that great things are ahead. All I have to do is follow through with my plans.