21 Years

Twenty one years ago today, my youngest son was born. As I woke up this morning, thinking of this anniversary, I scrolled through my own personal archives and thought about my own life at the age of twenty one.

By the time I was 21, I had been married, had a baby, divorced, had worked at a bank for three years, bought a townhouse and then remarried my ex-husband. My siblings were ages 32, 30 and 16. All I remember about my actual birthday is that my brother gave me a special birthday gift to commemorate my 21st birthday. Mom was 53 years old; Dad was 56.

I lived a very sheltered and protected life until I married. I had a lot of life lessons thrown at me in a short period of time but thanks to a strong and supportive family, I weathered the storms and came out standing. I had lived a lifetime by the time I was 21.

I look at my youngest son and I see myself before the world started teaching me "all I needed to know". I look at my younger self and the words young, naive and impressionable come to mind. If someone had told me what was to come, I may have locked myself in a room and never come out. I wouldn't have thought I could handle it.

We all have different lessons to learn, new roads to travel and challenges that are unique to each one of us.

I look at my son and I am pleased. I like him. I like his style. I like his quiet demeanor which masks the deepness of his thoughts and his perspective of life. I see bits and pieces of the best of the people within his world intertwined within him, mixed with the essence that is "him" and I enjoy the person he has become and is becoming.

My biggest concern is wondering how he will weather the storms of life. He has had some tests but I know there will be more. He is a sensitive soul. He watches the world around him, listens with his whole being and his interpretation of life as he sees it opens my eyes.

None of us can predict the future that is headed our way. My biggest wish for him is that no matter where life takes him, he will have the ability to weather life's storms and come out standing. I want him to feel the strength and support of family. I hope he feels safe within his world and will always know he has a soft place to fall here within our home and family.

He is the youngest of three brothers with a twenty year age span which separates them. What I am liking best about the age he has become, is that he is starting to "catch up" with his older brothers. His brothers and him are doing things together which is starting to forge a stronger bond in their brotherhood. I didn't "catch up" with my older sisters until I became an adult and now the years that separated us don't even exist. I hope this bond grows and strengthens over the years to come.

They say that joy is doubled when it is shared and sorrow is halved. In good times and in bad, it is good to know you have a support system in place to cheer you on, cheer you up and encourage you through whatever moment you may be going through.

The wish I have for my youngest son is a wish I share with all three of my boys. I wish them a strong sense of themselves, grounded in what I hope is a strong sense of family. I wish for roots to ground them, while reaching for the stars and retaining the ability to hope for the remainder of their lifetime. I wish them a solid community of family, friends, support systems and a resilience that will carry them through the rough patches life will inevitably throw their way.

I believe one of the best gifts Mom and Dad gave me is a strong sense of family and community. Mom and her story-telling led to the gift of collecting family memories which was the best way to infiltrate myself within the family and get to know everyone a little bit better. I was 47 years old when I started collecting family stories and history. It was then, when I started to feel my roots strengthen enough to hold me solid no matter what storms came to pass after that time.

The moral to this story is: No matter what age you are presently at, you must hold onto the belief that the best is yet to come. The best comes veiled in so very many ways and it is seldom a straight path. If you didn't have the struggle, you wouldn't appreciate the outcome. The best outcomes usually came after the hardest struggles.

You've come a long way, my son. I believe in you. I see your strength and though I wish I could wish only good things for you, I know the best parts of my life were a result of the hardest of struggles. Hold onto that knowledge and let it ground you when the going gets rough. Keep looking up, my son. The best is yet to come...

It's a Cat's Life

I am never quite sure where I may find our cats when I wake up in the morning.

Yesterday morning, the first thing I noticed was that somebody almost closed the bedroom door. This is Jet's trick. He is fascinated with door knobs and will stand up on his hind legs while pushing the door closed. Normally he does this until the door latches. I believe he does this intentionally. One time in  particular, he locked Ray (his partner in cathood) out of my room, with Jet captured inside to reap all of the affection that may be doled out.

Secondly, I noticed that both cats were resigned to the fact that they thought they were locked in the bedroom. They had assumed their positions on the bed and were enjoying a lazy Sunday morning sleep-in.

This morning, this was the sight my waking eyes saw. It started with Ray's gentle "tap, tap, tap" on my forehead so he could entice me to pet him. At the same time I felt the tapping, I noticed a black cat in Ray's usual resting spot. The body language of the "tapping" was all Ray but "Ray" was already in his sleeping spot. Turns out that Jet decided to try a new place to rest his weary head. Before long, this was the scene before my waking eyes:

This was where I left them as I got up and started the day. I have become quite skilled at making my bed around sleeping cats but the soundest sleeper of them all is normally sleeping atop the quilt at the foot of my bed. Not today. I decided to let sleeping cats lie and make the bed later.

Two hours later, I returned to make my bed and found this:

Oh, to lead the life of a cat. After a busy weekend, I am craving a cat day myself. I have a few hours before I have to set myself into motion. I think I'll grab a book and relax before this week takes on a life of its own.

Open Rafters and Open Invitations

This could be a boring little post but it is a follow up to my rants from yesterday morning...

The first thing on yesterday's agenda was to have my Second Son check out our attempt to install a new burner for our barbeque. He quickly assessed the situation, secured the "venturi connection", we lit up the barbeque and deemed it safe and secure enough to cook some burgers for lunch.

As I suspected, when I told my son about my concern over birds finding their way into the attic he downplayed the possibility and didn't add fuel to my fire. Then he proceeded to move on with the removal of the remaining soffit. I pulled nails while he pulled down plywood. It took me quite a while to make it out to the front where the first thing that caught my eye was this:

Oh my gosh! This is wide open into the attic. "An eagle could fly in here!", I exclaimed. In my son's calm, cool demeanor he agreed but assured me it is not nesting season. It would be okay.

I begged him to block up the openings but he wouldn't budge. Yes, a bird could easily fly into the attic. But it would fly out again.

I lost that battle and carried on with the day.

We enjoyed the menu I had planned for the prior day's supper for lunch. My youngest son chose not to join us so when he got up (much) later in the day, I chided him that I planned for that to be his birthday supper (then lunch, when supper plans were aborted). "I planned a birthday meal for you and you didn't come ..."

My boys are used to my excessive words and trumped up emotional outbursts, so my youngest son (much like his older brother) nodded, smiled, did not disagree with me but didn't heighten the discussion either. Oh well, at least he has some decent leftovers for a while.

I puttered outside all day. I accomplished so very little in the whole scheme of things but slowly but surely I made a difference.

The yard is tidied up from the weekend's demolition, I picked some weeds, mowed some grass, found nails, nails and more nails as I scoured the area below the eaves. I made a potato salad and barbequed a meal. Then I showered. I can't remember a time when I felt so dirty.

It was a productive weekend but at the end of it all, everything looks pretty much the same. Except the underside of our eaves.

Things will start to take on a noticeable change next weekend. Our outdoor maintenance is happening in bits and spurts. I still find it hard to feel as excited as I did during our main floor renovation but I know I will enjoy the end result.

Slowly but surely we will make it through this season of maintenance. It will all be worth it in the end.

I Cooked It (but they didn't come)

"If I make it, they will come..." 

This is a refrain that often chants through my thoughts when I have an extraordinarily ambitious burst of energy and make a family favorite dish. Yesterday was such a day.

I was sitting here alone in my own little world and I was quite certain we would have supper guests. My taste buds were set on barbequed hamburgers. The only problem with that, is I'm pretty sure our barbeque burner has cooked its last burger:

Being the very brave soul that I was, I went shopping for a replacement burner. As I made my way to the store, I decided if I could fix the barbeque I would make a potato salad to go with our burgers. Another salad to go with that, a beverage of our choosing and we would have a perfect summer meal. My youngest son will be 21 in a few days so we could call it a birthday supper and it would be perfect. 

I could smell the burgers cooking, I could hear the easy conversation over supper, I could feel the joy ... if I cook it, they will come whispered through my thoughts.

Well, the replacement burner didn't come with the screws it promised so I had to make my way back to the store to exchange it. While I was standing in line at the customer service counter, I missed a call from my son telling me they were stopping at A & W. We arrived back home at exactly the same time. My sons, with burgers (already made); me, with a barbeque part (assembly required) and uncooked burgers in the fridge.

We ate the A & W burgers. They were so good. We were all hungry and they hit the spot. "Well, you'll just have to stay for a late supper, I added. We can have hot dogs and potato salad," I promised.

The day was long and appetites were satisfied, so supper didn't come. "Lunch tomorrow, then!", I called out as I said my good-byes to my son.

The jury is still out on whether we will be able to use the barbeque (neither my son nor I felt qualified for the feat and after watching a few YouTube videos, I'm still uncertain), but I'm itching to grill the burgers I bought yesterday so I'm still hoping my "Field of Dreams" attitude will result in sharing a meal. 

If I cook it, they usually come. If they don't, I guess I can take my potato salad to work and share it with others. My dream will still be fulfilled.

Come Inside, Said the Bird to the Mouse...

Just yesterday, we were reminiscing about the time when my son had birds in the attic of his house before he installed the soffit which barricaded the openings in his rafters. In and around the same time, he was minus his farm cat and mice were getting into his house...

At the time, I thought it was pretty amusing and Dr. Seuss' book "In a People House" came to mind:

I sent my son a picture of this page compliments of Dr. Seuss and thought I was pretty hilarious. It's payback time ...

My son has offered to take care of the removal of my old soffit and fascia and will replace it with a vinyl, no maintenance variety. I am paranoid we may get a torrential rain in the two week period before the installation of eavestroughs and downspouts so he assured me he had a plan which would leave the eavestroughs in place as long as possible.

Yesterday, he started removing the old soffit. It is an ugly, messy job and he squeezed it into a rather committed day so I was grateful for any little thing he did. As I looked up into the underside of the eave, I was pleased he didn't just do a cover-up job. He got rid of the old, before installing the new. What a good man!

I set out to clean up the debris after my son left and as I completed the job, I looked up again. This time, a little more closely:

This is one small section of the entire side of the house. There is definitely enough room for a bird to make its way inside. In fact, doesn't that insulation that is peeking out look kind of good for making a nest?

Don't be silly, I thought! What bird in its right mind would be searching for a good place to nest this time of the year? The nesting period is behind us, right? And there is nothing for them to perch on, to notice this view. Right? Right!!

I was talking myself down off the precarious cliff I was on and tried to imagine the phone call between my son and me if I was to call him with my concern. "Don't be crazy. You are over-thinking this, Mom!" I could hear my son say. Okay. Okay, I would just let it go. It will be okay.

I went about my business and tried to assemble the barbeque burner I was trying to replace ONE more time. 

Then I noticed a robin atop my neighbor's garage behind us. I've never seen a robin there before. He spotted our open rafters. I just know it. He sat there and sat there. He called out to his friends. I could translate his chirping just as clear as day, "Hey, Robins everywhere!! There is a new place to nest over here! I'm just waiting for the cats to clear out before I check it out myself..."

No, that is not possible. The robin couldn't see the underside of our eaves from that vantage point. I was being paranoid. The creatures of nature were not looking for a port in the storm and would not find this vacancy in the short period it is open for business. They have better things to do.

Then, I noticed our cat who was sitting atop the deck railing. He was turned around and the open eave grabbed his attention. Our cat, who is an avid bird watcher, was watching the underside of our eaves. Was it because it was different and it just caught his eye? Or ... had a bird already flown inside??

That was enough for me. I gathered up our cats and herded them inside. I could think of this no longer. Out of sight, out of mind. 

And it worked. I came inside and never thought of it again. But the rhyming scheme of Dr. Seuss' book continues to rattle on in my head in the light of day. I have slightly mis-remembered it and in my muddled memory, I hear, "Come inside, said the bird to the mouse. I'll show you what there is in a People House..."

P.S. Mice can't climb siding, can they???

Rabbit Radar

I heard a different than usual kind of "meow" from the living room this morning. It wasn't an "I'm bugging my Brother Cat" kind of meow. It wasn't the chirpy meow that accompanies bird watching. It was a "purry" kind of meow. Something had captured Jet's interest and his meow piqued my curiousity. 

It turns out it was Jet's "I see a rabbit" meow. Look who was resting under the tree in our very own front yard!!

I grabbed my coffee and simply savored the moments for as long as they lasted. The rabbit (who may or not be "Jerry", the rabbit who I made eye contact with a few nights ago) was still for many minutes. Then I saw him chewing. I think he found the rabbit food I sprinkled under the tree several weeks ago in an attempt to lure rabbits into our yard.

I had all but given up on my rabbit food attraction and was (still am, actually) considering growing a "rabbit garden". Lettuce, specifically. I am just pondering where I could make this happen. Does lettuce grow under a fir tree? That is a thought for another day ...

After "Jerry", the rabbit finished nibbling on what he found under our tree, he hopped across the street and enjoyed whatever our neighbor's yard was serving up for dessert. If you look real hard, you can spot him.

I've zoomed in on him here:

Jerry spent a fair little bit of time enjoying the nourishment he found in our neighorbor's yard (what do they have that we don't have, I wondered) before he hopped off into his day.

This rabbit gazing moment was brought to you compliments of "Jet" - the cat who has developed a special meow to indicate the presence of rabbits in the area. I hope he hones his Rabbit Radar and alerts me on an ongoing basis.

Maintenance vs Renovations

We are entering the third week of exterior house maintenance. May I just say "maintenance" is not half the fun of "renovations" but it is just as costly.

Important issues are being addressed, such as moving the bathroom fan vent to a different location to prevent the ice dam issues in its previous location. We now have "architectural" grade shingles which should last longer. Good to know. Good to have. But not terribly exciting.

Shingling in progress; front view

Shingling half done; back view (bathroom fan has been moved)

Start date: May 19th; completion date: May 21st; paid in full. End of story.

Second project - redo the foundation parging. 

Day one - not very satisfied with the work/look of the job

Day two - better 

Apparently the look I was expecting could only be accomplished with acrylic material which is much more expensive. It would have been nice to know this ahead of time. But ... this will do.

Start date: June 4th; completion date: June 5th; awaiting my bill

Phase Three: soffit and fascia. Ordered: June 6th; anticipated start date: June 8th; expected completion date: on or before June 16th (this is a weekend project, compliments of my Second Son)

Phase Four: eavestroughs and downspouts. Anticipated date of work: June 21st

Phase Five: house and garage painting. Scheduled to begin: July 8th (weather permitting)

If all goes according to plan, the exterior of our house should be tended to by the middle of July. Much of this work is cosmetic, there are some ventilation and ice dam issues being addressed and there is an element of adding some non-maintenance items to the agenda in the hope that some of this work will never have to be done again.

The exterior maintenance work feels akin to getting dental work done. It is necessary but it isn't too terribly fun. As much as I hope to simply sit back and gaze at the complete project as we head into summer, I fear that tending to peeling paint and curled up shingles may accentuate the brown grass and untreated deck and fence. 

Like dental work, I know this will feel good once it is complete. But the process feels tedious, expensive and I'm simply staring at the clock waiting for it to be done. 

No lesson or moral to today's story. I'm just biding my time, waiting for the end and watching the dollars disappear faster than I can earn them. 

Life's like that sometimes. You must take care of the bricks and mortar, maintain a good solid foundation and know you have peace of mind and a safe place to fall.