I have just received my "Certificate of Completion" for the open book exam that I completed two weeks ago.
Yes. Complete. I did it! I really did it!!
I have a few more hurdles to overcome this week. But so far, I am one for one.
This week is going to be better than I originally anticipated. If I passed that exam ... I can do anything!!!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Like a Sponge
Yes ... I'm still writing about studying.
No ... I'm not saying that I'm taking in all of this knowledge like a sponge.
What I am saying ... is that like a sponge, I can only absorb so much before I hit a saturation point and all that is added beyond that point runs through my brain the way water runs through a fully saturated sponge.
So ... I walk away and create diversions for myself. I take time to try and process what I'm learning so that when I 'wring out' the excess, I come back with room to take in a little more.
Today is "The Day Before the Exam". I have a finite amount of hours left. I have only so much room in my brain.
I will continue to read, write, study, process, walk away and return to repeat that process. I have 29 hours.
Hopefully this brain of mine will have absorbed enough information so that I don't have to repeat the process of writing the exam as well.
Learning is good. Learning is a challenge that is positive. Deadlines create the need to settle in and work at something until it is done to the best of your ability. Exams test 'all of the above'.
I don't love exams. But they are a necessary part of the process ...
Tomorrow afternoon, I hope to take this saturated brain (aka: sponge) of mine and go 'clean up' that exam.
Here's hoping!
No ... I'm not saying that I'm taking in all of this knowledge like a sponge.
What I am saying ... is that like a sponge, I can only absorb so much before I hit a saturation point and all that is added beyond that point runs through my brain the way water runs through a fully saturated sponge.
So ... I walk away and create diversions for myself. I take time to try and process what I'm learning so that when I 'wring out' the excess, I come back with room to take in a little more.
Today is "The Day Before the Exam". I have a finite amount of hours left. I have only so much room in my brain.
I will continue to read, write, study, process, walk away and return to repeat that process. I have 29 hours.
Hopefully this brain of mine will have absorbed enough information so that I don't have to repeat the process of writing the exam as well.
Learning is good. Learning is a challenge that is positive. Deadlines create the need to settle in and work at something until it is done to the best of your ability. Exams test 'all of the above'.
I don't love exams. But they are a necessary part of the process ...
Tomorrow afternoon, I hope to take this saturated brain (aka: sponge) of mine and go 'clean up' that exam.
Here's hoping!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Gone Studyin'
Oh! How I wish I was 'gone fishin' instead ...
I have two days to absorb as much information as I can, into this distracted mind of mine (thus, this blog post ... I wandered over to the computer desk to find a red pen and here I am).
The words are few ... "multifidus ... transverse adduction ... agonist/antagonist muscles ... dorsiflexion ... ATP-CP verses lactic acid verses aerobic metabolism ...." are a some of the phrases spinning around (and lost) in my head.
This time next week, it is my hope that I have more victories than failures. I have an exam to write, statements and a year end to complete, three full days of work at the shop (shudder) and the onset of my 30 Day Shred challenge.
Next Sunday? It is my hope to be 'gone readin' (or sleepin').
I have two days to absorb as much information as I can, into this distracted mind of mine (thus, this blog post ... I wandered over to the computer desk to find a red pen and here I am).
The words are few ... "multifidus ... transverse adduction ... agonist/antagonist muscles ... dorsiflexion ... ATP-CP verses lactic acid verses aerobic metabolism ...." are a some of the phrases spinning around (and lost) in my head.
This time next week, it is my hope that I have more victories than failures. I have an exam to write, statements and a year end to complete, three full days of work at the shop (shudder) and the onset of my 30 Day Shred challenge.
Next Sunday? It is my hope to be 'gone readin' (or sleepin').
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Vitamins and Nothing
Quote from Thursday night's episode of Grey's Anatomy:
Meredith: "We are responsible with our patients. The problem is we blow it all out at work. In our own lives, we can't think things through. We don't make the sound choice. We did that all day at the hospital. When it comes to ourselves, we've got nothing left. And is it worth it—being responsible? Because if take your vitamins and pay your taxes and never cut the line, the universe still gives you people to love and then lets them slip through your fingers like water, and what've you got? Vitamins and nothing."
Responsibility. When you 'blow it all out at work' and there is nothing left at the end of the day ... what do you really have?
I spent the first 20 years of my parenting working full time, outside of our home. I did everything I was paid to do, all day long. I spent my energy being nice at work. When I came home, I was empty. I had nothing left. My fuse was short and my children were on the receiving end of whatever my day had given me.
I was working hard, doing all the right things, making all the 'right' financial choices. I often joked that I could afford to retire (RRSP's were maximized), I could afford to die (insurance was all in place), I was in a spot where my mortgage would have been paid in full in 2009 ... but I couldn't afford to live.
I woke up during my maternity leave with my third child. I saw the person I was, when I was consumed with work and making the right financial choices. My eyes were finally opened and I saw that I was letting life slip out of my hands. This is the reason that I made the choices that I did and started working from our home. I have never looked back ...
Fast forward to the present.
I had a 'bad day at the office' yesterday. I walked away, came home to life-as-I-know-it and had a great evening out with friends. I thought that I had put it all behind me. Yet when I woke up this morning, work issues sifted to the top of my consciousness.
I don't want to wake up in the morning with a work hangover. I want to box it up, put it away and shut the door on it until I choose to open it. And I always choose to open it.
I want to work from home for many reasons. Yesterday made it blatantly clear to me why I love working out of my home. I feel in control. I have a system that works for me. Everything is at my fingertips. I am a obsessive when it comes to paper, organization and routine. Yesterday? I was working at the shop, at a desk that was not my own, with one corner cleared off for the three piles of things to verify, sort and correct. My routine was blown out of the water.
My first conscious thoughts this morning were (and still are) consumed with work. Days like yesterday make me feel like life is 'slipping through my fingers like water'.
The universe gave me a home and family to come home to, friends to go out with, the opportunity to dance after my work day was through. Yet when I woke up this morning? I allowed the joy of what I had at the end of the day, slip through my fingers.
Is it worth it - being responsible?
At work, while you are at work? Yes.
After work, I do not want to feel depleted. I want energy left over for me and the people in my life.
Being responsible to myself and those that share my life is worth it. Spending all of that at work and coming home 'empty'? Not a place I want to go back to. I want more than vitamins and nothing at the end of the day.
Meredith: "We are responsible with our patients. The problem is we blow it all out at work. In our own lives, we can't think things through. We don't make the sound choice. We did that all day at the hospital. When it comes to ourselves, we've got nothing left. And is it worth it—being responsible? Because if take your vitamins and pay your taxes and never cut the line, the universe still gives you people to love and then lets them slip through your fingers like water, and what've you got? Vitamins and nothing."
Responsibility. When you 'blow it all out at work' and there is nothing left at the end of the day ... what do you really have?
I spent the first 20 years of my parenting working full time, outside of our home. I did everything I was paid to do, all day long. I spent my energy being nice at work. When I came home, I was empty. I had nothing left. My fuse was short and my children were on the receiving end of whatever my day had given me.
I was working hard, doing all the right things, making all the 'right' financial choices. I often joked that I could afford to retire (RRSP's were maximized), I could afford to die (insurance was all in place), I was in a spot where my mortgage would have been paid in full in 2009 ... but I couldn't afford to live.
I woke up during my maternity leave with my third child. I saw the person I was, when I was consumed with work and making the right financial choices. My eyes were finally opened and I saw that I was letting life slip out of my hands. This is the reason that I made the choices that I did and started working from our home. I have never looked back ...
Fast forward to the present.
I had a 'bad day at the office' yesterday. I walked away, came home to life-as-I-know-it and had a great evening out with friends. I thought that I had put it all behind me. Yet when I woke up this morning, work issues sifted to the top of my consciousness.
I don't want to wake up in the morning with a work hangover. I want to box it up, put it away and shut the door on it until I choose to open it. And I always choose to open it.
I want to work from home for many reasons. Yesterday made it blatantly clear to me why I love working out of my home. I feel in control. I have a system that works for me. Everything is at my fingertips. I am a obsessive when it comes to paper, organization and routine. Yesterday? I was working at the shop, at a desk that was not my own, with one corner cleared off for the three piles of things to verify, sort and correct. My routine was blown out of the water.
My first conscious thoughts this morning were (and still are) consumed with work. Days like yesterday make me feel like life is 'slipping through my fingers like water'.
The universe gave me a home and family to come home to, friends to go out with, the opportunity to dance after my work day was through. Yet when I woke up this morning? I allowed the joy of what I had at the end of the day, slip through my fingers.
Is it worth it - being responsible?
At work, while you are at work? Yes.
After work, I do not want to feel depleted. I want energy left over for me and the people in my life.
Being responsible to myself and those that share my life is worth it. Spending all of that at work and coming home 'empty'? Not a place I want to go back to. I want more than vitamins and nothing at the end of the day.
Friday, February 25, 2011
It's Coming From All Angles
Do you ever feel like 'the world' is speaking to you because you are getting the same message from completely and entirely different people in your life?
Yesterday, the essence of the same thought came to me from my mom, a friend at the dance studio and one of my favorite blog writers.
The long and short of it is ... I have just over a month to squeeze myself into my existing ballgown (for an upcoming dance showcase).
Mom: "You could lose 10 pounds in a month!"
Friend: "You have time to lose the weight"
Blog Writer: "I'm going to do the 30 Day Shred ..."
I didn't put it all together until this morning. "30 Day Shred" = "I could lose 10 pounds in a month" = "I have time to lose the weight".
I Googled "30 Day Shred". I read a brief write up on what it is and what it has the potential to do. I watched some video clips.
It wasn't until I watched the videos that I realized that this could also be a part of the other equation going on in my life. My goal of leading a Zumba Fitness Class.
I could take a little of what I learn from a non-Zumba environment and incorporate it into a some fun and dance moves. I think of Zumba as dancing ... but in reality, it is dance fitness. I should focus on the fitness part of that equation.
Three different people from three vastly different parts of my world. Two planted the seed. One presented a solution. It all adds up.
When 'the world' speaks and the same message comes to you, from several different corners of your world ... listen.
Yesterday, the essence of the same thought came to me from my mom, a friend at the dance studio and one of my favorite blog writers.
The long and short of it is ... I have just over a month to squeeze myself into my existing ballgown (for an upcoming dance showcase).
Mom: "You could lose 10 pounds in a month!"
Friend: "You have time to lose the weight"
Blog Writer: "I'm going to do the 30 Day Shred ..."
I didn't put it all together until this morning. "30 Day Shred" = "I could lose 10 pounds in a month" = "I have time to lose the weight".
I Googled "30 Day Shred". I read a brief write up on what it is and what it has the potential to do. I watched some video clips.
It wasn't until I watched the videos that I realized that this could also be a part of the other equation going on in my life. My goal of leading a Zumba Fitness Class.
I could take a little of what I learn from a non-Zumba environment and incorporate it into a some fun and dance moves. I think of Zumba as dancing ... but in reality, it is dance fitness. I should focus on the fitness part of that equation.
Three different people from three vastly different parts of my world. Two planted the seed. One presented a solution. It all adds up.
When 'the world' speaks and the same message comes to you, from several different corners of your world ... listen.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
I Just Need Veggies and Sleep
As I was swooning with exhaustion one day (as I sat at the computer diligently trying to study), my frazzled fingers did a Google Search on "What foods to eat to fight exhaustion".
My search lead me to links on exhaustion. Hey! Maybe I was simply sick and there was a miracle pill which would cure me. I eagerly set out to find the answers to my fatigue.
I perused the list of possible causes of exhaustion and found: Liver Exhaustion; Kidney/Adrenal Exhaustion; Stress Exhaustion; and Exhaustion as a Result of Poor Diet
I clicked on each link and decided that my liver, kidneys, adrenal system and stress levels didn't appear to be the cause. Which left 'poor diet'.
To say that I have been living off of chips, chocolate and coffee the past while would not be a great exaggeration. Sure, I still have my morning smoothie which has three servings of fruit, fibre (ground flax) and milk. So I'm sustaining myself on a few healthy choices. But once the day is underway, I crave a quick fix. Preferably something that I can eat while I'm working/studying and requires zero preparation. Which takes me back to my 'Three C's'.
Add to this knowledge, the fact that I was at the 'Nutrition' chapter in my studies. It was coming at me from all angles. Dr. Google was telling me to eat better. I was reminded of the Food Guide recommendations of healthy eating. My mom was quietly suggesting that chips, coffee and chocolate were not the three basic food groups. Eventually, something had to seep through my caffeinated, foggy brain. Eat, girl ... eat!!!
My Oldest Son heard my plea (when I insisted that we must eat a home cooked meal on Sunday). He was very conscious of the fact that I had been stressed and studying all weekend and was quite insistent that we just go out for supper to make it easy for me. Eventually, he suggested that he would pick up some steak and barbecue it for supper. All I had to do was come up with a few side dishes.
My body was very happy to absorb some protein. In fact, I still felt a sense of fullness the next morning. Hmmm ... this healthy eating might be the answer.
Then real life collided with my new found knowledge (which to be honest, I knew all along) and I was back to the quick and easy method of eating to which I had become accustomed. When you feed your body garbage, it learns to crave it.
Which is why I stood in amazement yesterday in the grocery aisle, as I salivated over a vegetable salad which looked tastier than the three-pack of Pringles that I had just tossed into my cart. Mmmmm ... vegetables!
I tossed that into the cart (along with some store bought potato salad) and couldn't wait to sit down and feast when I got home. I loaded a medium sized plate with the garden salad, with a small helping of marinated vegetable salad and potato salad on the side.
As I savored the flavor sensations and textures, my body was doing a happy dance inside. I do believe that I fulfilled the Food Guide's recommendation of fruits and vegetables yesterday!
One would think that I would wake up with a surge of energy after such a boost to my digestive system. Then why am I still sitting here in my pajamas at 9:10 a.m.?
That would be because I am out of work and waiting for a call. If I must go into the shop to work, I will come home smelling like diesel. So the decision of when to shower is based upon knowing what is on my agenda for today.
I suppose that I should be cracking open my books and studying with a vengeance as I await the fate of my day.
It's just that I had high hopes that a few extra servings of vegetables and a good night's sleep would be a cure-all. I guess exhaustion can be treated with consistent source of healthy nourishment and sleep. Ambition, on the other hand is a whole different matter.
Onward!
My search lead me to links on exhaustion. Hey! Maybe I was simply sick and there was a miracle pill which would cure me. I eagerly set out to find the answers to my fatigue.
I perused the list of possible causes of exhaustion and found: Liver Exhaustion; Kidney/Adrenal Exhaustion; Stress Exhaustion; and Exhaustion as a Result of Poor Diet
I clicked on each link and decided that my liver, kidneys, adrenal system and stress levels didn't appear to be the cause. Which left 'poor diet'.
To say that I have been living off of chips, chocolate and coffee the past while would not be a great exaggeration. Sure, I still have my morning smoothie which has three servings of fruit, fibre (ground flax) and milk. So I'm sustaining myself on a few healthy choices. But once the day is underway, I crave a quick fix. Preferably something that I can eat while I'm working/studying and requires zero preparation. Which takes me back to my 'Three C's'.
Add to this knowledge, the fact that I was at the 'Nutrition' chapter in my studies. It was coming at me from all angles. Dr. Google was telling me to eat better. I was reminded of the Food Guide recommendations of healthy eating. My mom was quietly suggesting that chips, coffee and chocolate were not the three basic food groups. Eventually, something had to seep through my caffeinated, foggy brain. Eat, girl ... eat!!!
My Oldest Son heard my plea (when I insisted that we must eat a home cooked meal on Sunday). He was very conscious of the fact that I had been stressed and studying all weekend and was quite insistent that we just go out for supper to make it easy for me. Eventually, he suggested that he would pick up some steak and barbecue it for supper. All I had to do was come up with a few side dishes.
My body was very happy to absorb some protein. In fact, I still felt a sense of fullness the next morning. Hmmm ... this healthy eating might be the answer.
Then real life collided with my new found knowledge (which to be honest, I knew all along) and I was back to the quick and easy method of eating to which I had become accustomed. When you feed your body garbage, it learns to crave it.
Which is why I stood in amazement yesterday in the grocery aisle, as I salivated over a vegetable salad which looked tastier than the three-pack of Pringles that I had just tossed into my cart. Mmmmm ... vegetables!
I tossed that into the cart (along with some store bought potato salad) and couldn't wait to sit down and feast when I got home. I loaded a medium sized plate with the garden salad, with a small helping of marinated vegetable salad and potato salad on the side.
As I savored the flavor sensations and textures, my body was doing a happy dance inside. I do believe that I fulfilled the Food Guide's recommendation of fruits and vegetables yesterday!
One would think that I would wake up with a surge of energy after such a boost to my digestive system. Then why am I still sitting here in my pajamas at 9:10 a.m.?
That would be because I am out of work and waiting for a call. If I must go into the shop to work, I will come home smelling like diesel. So the decision of when to shower is based upon knowing what is on my agenda for today.
I suppose that I should be cracking open my books and studying with a vengeance as I await the fate of my day.
It's just that I had high hopes that a few extra servings of vegetables and a good night's sleep would be a cure-all. I guess exhaustion can be treated with consistent source of healthy nourishment and sleep. Ambition, on the other hand is a whole different matter.
Onward!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Perfect Days
You don't realize it as it is happening, but some of those uneventful days in our lives are pretty perfect in the way they unfold. Yesterday was one of those days.
I have become the master of putting off to later what I should be doing right now. When I knew that I must spend the day working, I started 'clearing the slate' so I could work with a clear conscience (aka - procrastinating).
I finally replaced the two-sided tape that was holding two mats together at the front door. This seam has become progressively worse over the course of the past year or more. But yesterday was the day I faced up to it and just fixed it.
Furnace filters. Ohmigosh. Why is this a job that I forget, neglect, put off and simply don't do when I should? It is (at most) a two minute job - and that includes stuffing the dirty filter back into the new filter's bag. It is one of the easiest jobs to do in the world. Yet it is one of those things I put off. Not yesterday. I took the required two minutes and replaced that filter.
I puttered around and cleared my work space and mind. Finally I was ready to open my Pandora's Box of work. I never know what I will face when I open these boxes. What appears to be a simple, unassuming task can become all consuming. But not yesterday. I opened the box to find less work than I anticipated. I worked steadily until I 'hit a wall'. Then I moved on.
Our family has been selected to participate in a radio survey. We each received our booklet in the mail yesterday afternoon. After my work was done, I sat down to complete the preliminary 13 pages of survey questions for myself and My Youngest. Why was I so eager to do so? Because they rewarded each of us with a $5.00 bill which they enclosed with the survey. It felt like Christmas! My Second Son immediately suggested that his coffee fund could use a $5.00 bonus. My Youngest collects money (he accumulates cash the way the fridge collects dust - without even trying), so he was happy to add this to his stash. Me? Spending money! Add it to my wallet and dream about what it may do for me. Fun stuff!
I then received a phone call from 'Student Loans'. My loan goes into repayment very soon and I sent back my papers agreeing to the monthly payment. This phone call was to ask if this payment will be affordable for me. My answer is that I would make it affordable. Their response? What is your income? Maybe we can help. Where there is limited income, there is the possibility of assistance. I want to be self sufficient. But if I have to lean a little en route to that goal? We'll see ...
My Second Son then offered to take care of the grocery bill this week. So the onerous task of buying groceries (honestly, it's the time and energy it consumes more than the money involved that makes grocery shopping one of my least-favorite-things-to-do) was lightened. Not only financially ... but he joined me and helped make the task a little easier. My treat was a Starbucks Coffee for each of us at the end of our errand.
We raced home, barely in time to make it to My Youngest's dentist appointment. My Second Son generously offered to put the groceries away (a big part of the reason grocery shopping is such a despised chore) and we made it to the dentist's office on the stroke of the hour of our scheduled appointment. Unfortunately, they were running a half hour behind schedule. Fortunately for me, I brought my book so that I could study while I waited. Productive waiting time. I love when that happens!!
From there, we managed to make it under the wire so that My Youngest could get a (much needed .... like three months ago!) haircut. Again, I studied as I waited for him. Ahhhh .... this is the life!
I came home to find our groceries all put away, 'life' under control and very little to be done. I capitalized on the remaining side effects of my Starbucks Caffeine Boost and wrote a letter to my mom. I normally write to her on Mondays, but the holiday threw my schedule off track. I was in the mood to write and the words flowed freely from my mind to my fingertips. A perfect end to a perfect day.
You never know when it's going to happen. You just know that you must sit back and enjoy the day, when it unfolds so easily.
I have become the master of putting off to later what I should be doing right now. When I knew that I must spend the day working, I started 'clearing the slate' so I could work with a clear conscience (aka - procrastinating).
I finally replaced the two-sided tape that was holding two mats together at the front door. This seam has become progressively worse over the course of the past year or more. But yesterday was the day I faced up to it and just fixed it.
Furnace filters. Ohmigosh. Why is this a job that I forget, neglect, put off and simply don't do when I should? It is (at most) a two minute job - and that includes stuffing the dirty filter back into the new filter's bag. It is one of the easiest jobs to do in the world. Yet it is one of those things I put off. Not yesterday. I took the required two minutes and replaced that filter.
I puttered around and cleared my work space and mind. Finally I was ready to open my Pandora's Box of work. I never know what I will face when I open these boxes. What appears to be a simple, unassuming task can become all consuming. But not yesterday. I opened the box to find less work than I anticipated. I worked steadily until I 'hit a wall'. Then I moved on.
Our family has been selected to participate in a radio survey. We each received our booklet in the mail yesterday afternoon. After my work was done, I sat down to complete the preliminary 13 pages of survey questions for myself and My Youngest. Why was I so eager to do so? Because they rewarded each of us with a $5.00 bill which they enclosed with the survey. It felt like Christmas! My Second Son immediately suggested that his coffee fund could use a $5.00 bonus. My Youngest collects money (he accumulates cash the way the fridge collects dust - without even trying), so he was happy to add this to his stash. Me? Spending money! Add it to my wallet and dream about what it may do for me. Fun stuff!
I then received a phone call from 'Student Loans'. My loan goes into repayment very soon and I sent back my papers agreeing to the monthly payment. This phone call was to ask if this payment will be affordable for me. My answer is that I would make it affordable. Their response? What is your income? Maybe we can help. Where there is limited income, there is the possibility of assistance. I want to be self sufficient. But if I have to lean a little en route to that goal? We'll see ...
My Second Son then offered to take care of the grocery bill this week. So the onerous task of buying groceries (honestly, it's the time and energy it consumes more than the money involved that makes grocery shopping one of my least-favorite-things-to-do) was lightened. Not only financially ... but he joined me and helped make the task a little easier. My treat was a Starbucks Coffee for each of us at the end of our errand.
We raced home, barely in time to make it to My Youngest's dentist appointment. My Second Son generously offered to put the groceries away (a big part of the reason grocery shopping is such a despised chore) and we made it to the dentist's office on the stroke of the hour of our scheduled appointment. Unfortunately, they were running a half hour behind schedule. Fortunately for me, I brought my book so that I could study while I waited. Productive waiting time. I love when that happens!!
From there, we managed to make it under the wire so that My Youngest could get a (much needed .... like three months ago!) haircut. Again, I studied as I waited for him. Ahhhh .... this is the life!
I came home to find our groceries all put away, 'life' under control and very little to be done. I capitalized on the remaining side effects of my Starbucks Caffeine Boost and wrote a letter to my mom. I normally write to her on Mondays, but the holiday threw my schedule off track. I was in the mood to write and the words flowed freely from my mind to my fingertips. A perfect end to a perfect day.
You never know when it's going to happen. You just know that you must sit back and enjoy the day, when it unfolds so easily.
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