A Broken Microwave, A Fire Alarm and a Power Outage

Did you ever have the oddest sequence of events take you to exactly where you needed to be, but wouldn't have gone there on your own? Me too!

Our microwave has been smelling like the makings of an electrical fire every time I have forgotten not to use it the past few weeks. Last night I had some decent leftovers for my son to warm up for supper. Only no microwave.

Darn!! I had to go out and replace our microwave. Either that or cook! Blech to both, but buying a microwave seemed like a longer term investment so I opted for that.

I didn't want to go to the store where I bought our first dud microwave, so I went to the next closest.

I walked into the store and people were everywhere. I wondered why and then deduced that "June 1st" payday may have something to do with the unruly mob.

I needed some bananas while I was there and after I walked by some bad looking strawberries I found some bananas that didn't look any better.

I was just about to get grumpy about the crowd, the unsavory looking fruit and the fact that I didn't want to be there when the fire alarm went off.

"Everybody out of the building" said one store clerk.

Why didn't I think of that before? Why did it take a fire alarm to make me realize I had the choice to leave the building?? I honestly wonder where my head is at some days.

I ended up at a preferable store, buying a preferred brand of microwave (one that had not let me down in the past), with the ability to pick up some groceries and milk while I was out.

The benefit of needing a microwave before my son's supper could be warmed up, is that he had time to mow the lawn before I returned home with the food warmer upper.

I was finally ready to sit still in front of the TV and waste the remainder of the evening. I deserved it. I had mowed my half of the lawn, gone shopping, showered and put in a full daycare day. I was done and ready to call it a day.

Then the power went out.

I love my new laptop computer!! The power went out but my computer kept on going, powered by its back-up battery source.

The internet was down due to the power outage but I had a bookkeeping job to do that had nothing to do with the internet and everything to do with sitting down and getting at it.

The gift of a one hour power outage, combined with fifteen minutes to finish up the job and send it on its way once the power and internet were restored was just what I needed.

I would have made that job bigger than it needed to be if I had put it off another day. Thank goodness for that powerless hour. Double gratitude goes to my computer that just kept on going. With or without a power source.

The gift of a fire alarm removed me from a store I didn't want to be in, in the first place. It redirected me to a place where I could do a little one-stop-shopping and not have to leave the house for the rest of the week.

The gift of a broken microwave forced me out of the house when that was the last place in the world I wanted to be.

Three "gifts" put me exactly where I needed to be last night. I did the hard stuff. All I had to do was wake up this morning, without the weight of what I should have and could have done last night.

The hard work is done. Now all I have to do is keep taking one small step in front of the other and the next hard things won't feel so bad.

I Cried Because I Had Bad Hair

"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet" ~ Author Unknown

It has not been lost on me, that I have been expending an extraordinary amount of time obsessing about things that really don't matter as of late - the fact that I have not been wearing my age well, the effort it takes to maintain "pretty feet and hands", bad hair and the list goes on and on, my friend.

I have been cringing each and every time I take a look in the mirror. I finally picked up the phone and made an appointment for a full hair makeover tonight. Cut, color, the works. 

I told my stylist, "There is absolutely nothing I like about my hair. Except the fact that I have it." She replied, "I can fix that! Or I will certainly try..."

I was actually very serious about the fact that I know my bad hair days are not the end of the world. 

I have hair. I have a lot of hair. The fact that I find it unmanageable is actually quite a good problem to have. The side effect of looking at said hair in the mirror and allowing it to affect my day is my problem. And a minor one at that.

I knew this, yet I still allowed myself to focus my attention towards it. Perhaps because there is something I can (try) to do to fix the problem at hand.

I am all about "doing what is within your power" to fix or adjust or adapt to life's frustrations. I do it all the time.

I google everything. I write out many of my thoughts and try to live a life where I will not regret what I have or have not said. 

If I invest enough energy worrying about something, I do my level best to try to do something to deal with the worry of the moment.

Life has been so terribly serious. Too many people I know are dealing with serious health issues. There is nothing I can do for anyone. Except reach out ...

Last night I did just that. The gift of reaching out in a quiet, one-sided manner, is that the person on the other end of that gesture can respond when they have the time, energy and ability to do so.

Lucky me. That person called me back last night. We talked like we have talked on many other occasions. She has an ability to laugh on the outside, even though I can only assume that it may be a case of "If I don't laugh, I might cry and I choose laughter".

She is a warrior. She is fighting the good fight and it has been an uphill battle. She is certain things are about to change. It is the only way left for things to go.

An intensive regimen of radiology is on her agenda and she is laughing about the fact that she no longer has to worry about the hair growing back from recent brain surgery. She laughed as she said, "It will probably all fall out any way, so I don't even have to worry about the gray hair that is showing!"

"I cried because I had bad hair, until I met the woman may lose her hair".

I worry about the little things because sometimes I feel like those are the only things that are within my control. 

Life is too full of things where we feel completely powerless. I spoke to my warrior friend and laughed along with her last night. And it was good.

Tonight I will go and deal with my unmanageable hair. And be grateful for what, I consider to be a frustration, is truly a blessing. I really knew this all along but it never hurts for life to remind me to keep my priorities in focus.

Dirty Work

This whole "cleaning up" thing sure dominates one's world once you open the door and enter.

It started small.

We shuffled the contents of three bedrooms. We moved a few beds. I designated one room for "office"; the other for "daycare"; and my son created room for a desk which would house "his future" (more on that, another day).

With this shuffling of contents, came the collecting and donating of some of our excess.

All of this began because I wanted a separate computer for my work. This somehow transitioned into cleaning up our existing computer and transferring only the cleaned up files onto my new laptop. And somehow segued into my son claiming ownership of the old computer while I have sole access to my new one.

With this transfer of computer ownership, came a massive deleting and organizing of computer files.

This was an onerous task. But at least it was a clean one.

Finally, I shifted my focus onto the garage. The garage has not been my own for about five or so years. My son moved in and back out of the house during that time and he took ownership of the cleaning and culling of the garage while he was a permanent resident here.

Then he moved out.

I realized this week, that he forgot to pack up the garage when he vacated. I knew I had moved an oil pan, full of dirty oil, from one side of the garage to a corner of its own. But I didn't realize he had also left an assortment of other "stuff". I think he forgot as well. Either that, or he knew it all along and was just waiting to see how long it would take for me to finally clean up the garage and let him know what I had found.

It took eleven months. But I finally did it.

I am not done, but I am close. What a dirty, dusty, gross and disgusting job it has been.

I only found a small amount of evidence that a mouse has been in the neighborhood. But at least this time, I didn't find a corpse or anything to indicate it moved its family in with it. I think it left for greener pastures a long time ago.

Even though the garage needs one last "heave ho", to rid it of what I deem is unnecessary, I can't quite believe how much lighter I feel every time I walk into it.

I have been putting off this dirty job for forever. I have every excuse under the sun to justify why it has taken me so long. Some of them are even good ones.

Now that the job is done, I just want to keep on going. Except for one thing.

This is dirty work!

Add that to regular lawn maintenance and the fact that it is so dry and dusty outside that you need a shower every time you invest any time at all to enjoying this fine spring weather and I am rethinking the whole "Dirty Thirties" thing.

In the thick of the depression, there was also a drought. Bathing was a once-a-week event at the best of times in those days. As I have felt the need to hop into the shower on a daily basis during this dusty season of minimal work (compared to the word that was done on a regular basis during the Dirty Thirties), I can't help but wonder how I would have survived without an abundant supply of running water.

At least these days, when we do have dirty work to do, the ability to clean off the grime is as simple as turning on a tap.

And I complain about having to deal with the aftermath of washing my hair after an eternal bad haircut. What does my brother's family refer to this as?? Twenty first century First world (thanks, bro) problems perhaps?

Hidden Treasures

Let it be known that I rarely say that I "clean". I tidy up, I declutter, I sort, I organize, I vacuum and I tend to a little dust and dirt I find along my way. But I rarely make the statement "I cleaned the house today". Or the car.

Recently, I did a little vacuuming and dusting inside of the car before I headed to Mom's one weekend. I also smudged the windows. I thought I cleaned them but I think all I did was create smears and rearranged the dirt.

I did not say I "cleaned" the car. It's more like I made it presentable for any passengers who may enter.

Last week I sold my second car. I didn't clean it either but I did remove my clutter and personal belongings from within and placed them in a flimsy plastic grocery bag and abandoned said bag on the floor for five days.

I was headed out the door last night and thought I may as well take that forgotten bag of "car stuff" and find a new home for it within my car.

In doing so, I opened a compartment between the driver and passenger seat which I have long neglected.

It appears I filled that space with take-out napkins until it was full, to overflowing, then found a new spot for the napkins.

I cannot remember the last time I looked in this spot.

Upon opening it up last night and discovering an envelope with my sister's writing on it, which said "Gas money", I would have to guess it has been long over a year ago.

The last time I dug through the napkins which lie within that space was when my sister told me that she and my other sister had left an envelope in that very compartment long after they were nestled back into their respective homes when I attended my school reunion in the fall of 2013.

You see, I tend to find these little "envelopes" when and where I least expect them:

I texted my sister when I made this discovery last night and wondered when in the world she left this envelope behind. All I could think of, when we last met for a "sister brunch" in April, I drove her back to my place but I certainly didn't use that much gas.

Well, apparently she left this in my car when I drove her an hour or so out of the city to meet up with our other sister to drive out to Mom's. In April of 2014. OVER a year ago!

I am one part amused and another part mortified. 

My sister now knows that I do NOT clean my car on a regular (or even semi-regular) basis. I rewound the tape in my mind and wondered if I ever "bragged" about cleaning. I thought, no, I rarely say I actually "clean" something. I wipe layers of dust off things. I pick my battles. I tidy and vacuum what shows. I do NOT do deep cleaning. 

But maybe I should. I have had a few guests in my house from time to time over the course of the past few years. Maybe there are more envelopes begging to be found. 

It could be like a treasure hunt!!

If nothing else, maybe I'll find our cat's lost ball and the missing piece of pizza that goes with the Little Tykes kitchen...

Hey, "Thanks, sis!! Sorry it took so long!"

A Post Without a Point and Nowhere to Go

This time yesterday morning, my mind was racing with ways I could squeeze the most into the last quiet hour of my day, in an effort to make up for a lost Sunday.

Today, I am content. I did as much as I could with yesterday and my efforts have given me this one hour "off".

I work better under pressure. My thoughts flow better, I am spurred into action and I race to see how much I can squeeze into one short hour.

Today, I am of the mind where I could happily curl up into a ball on the couch and just inhale those sixty minutes.

In other words, if I didn't have a job to do this morning, I believe I would waste the entire day that is sitting here before me.

I have a love/hate relationship with the frantic side of myself. 

I love knowing I still "have what it takes" to do what needs to be done when the chips are down. I hate the person I am when I am racing against the clock under pressure. 

Give me free time and I waste it. Give me a job to do and it gets done. Give me an hour with nothing to say and I'll say too much.

Maybe I'll wander off and send off some emails instead. My thoughts are quite literally going nowhere this morning. 

That's it. This was a post about nothing. 

"Happy Tuesday!"

One Thing at a Time

"You can put your mind in order by focusing on one thing at a time. 

You can put your environment in order by clearing out the old and useless things that are taking up space. 

You can put your spirit in order by replacing fearful, doubtful, angry thoughts with thoughts about the grace of God." 

~ Iyanla Vanzant

I read this quote yesterday morning and decided to follow that mantra for the day. 

"One thing at a time".

I have become so scrambled, disjointed and feel like I have a "bazallion" things to start, to finish and to do. It is not unusual to find my to-do-piles strewn about the house. 

Yesterday was no different.

An income tax job I must complete was set out on the kitchen table. Some interesting "historical" budgeting and net worth statements were on the opposite end of the table. My current financial work was piled on the corner of the computer desk and a few addressed envelopes sat adjacent to my bank book as they awaited their finishing touches.

I sit down at the computer and it is not uncommon for me to open a Word document, an Excel spreadsheet (or three), find the need to open up a picture file and at least three "Windows" seem to be open on my browser at all times.

All of this clutter sat in front of me and all I could think of was the movie I wanted to watch.

I closed all the Windows on the computer and exited from every other document I was perusing. I filed away the paperwork on the kitchen table.  

I grabbed my cup of coffee and sat still to watch a movie. My cell phone, our house phone and the iPad were all out of sight and out of my reach. 

I turned off the world and turned on the TV.

I decided to do only "one thing at a time" yesterday. I chose to watch TV. 

I walked into this weekend thinking of the remainder of things on my to-do-list from last weekend. One of those items was "four more movies to watch".

This past weekend, I watched three movies. And it was good.

Trust and Be Prepared to Be Amazed

I used to obsess about my finances.

I planned, I projected, I did my best to pay down debt, save and have a little "in case of emergency" fund. I budgeted and accounted for every single penny.

The more I counted my pennies, the more pennies I seemed to need.

I had every bill covered with little room left for the unexpected. The unexpected always happened. Where there is a car, a house and a family there are always surprises.

There seemed to be a direct correlation between the amount of energy I spent obsessing about money and the amount of money I felt I needed. There was never, ever, ever enough.

I don't know what shifted my perspective in my "worry to money ratio". It may have happened when I rid myself of five different accounts to budget for every contingency I could imagine. I amalgamated all of my savings with all of my debt and my enemies started living together under one roof. Surprisingly, they have lived quite well together.

Since that time, I have stopped "sweating the small stuff". When times are good, I sock away my money and pile it onto my debt. When times are lean, I borrow from that same debt sparingly.

Unfortunately I have had quite a few lean years in recent history.

Going back to school was the death of my finances but resuscitated me in so many ways.

The years when I attempted to redirect my career were the hardest years I can remember living but they taught me more than a formal education ever could have.

The leanest years of my life took and gave back to me, in proportion to each other. Mentally and financially.

I just went back to the archives of my financial history.

I have accumulated $17,107 more debt since my return to school. In that same stretch of history, my pension has grown by almost $50,000. My savings is an ever-changing number and has been depleted by almost $2,000 but the number that is in there now is more of a "static" number.

I went back further in time and I am aghast to see the years I felt the poorest, I had the least amount of debt and the most amount of savings. I guess counting every single penny did have its advantages.

Now that wasn't the direction I was headed when I started writing this post!

My point (which feels slightly moot at the moment) is that by lessening the energy I spend on worrying, I have found "things always work out in the end".

For each and every extra-curricular expense, I have found an unexpected windfall on the opposite end of the spending spectrum.

I planned a purely whimsical trip to see Dancing With the Stars in Las Vegas. The cost of this trip was simply absorbed by some unexpected gift money that had been tossed my way.

Recently I ordered some extra family history books for both my mom and dad's families. Surprisingly, I had some unexpected financial bonuses which equalled almost the exact amount of my book order.

As I considered the expense of a new computer verses the need, I hovered back and forth in a state of indecision for quite some time before letting my income tax refund (almost the exact amount of the new computer) make the decision for me.

This week, I took the plunge and booked flights and accommodations for a trip to see my uncle. I invited my mom along for the ride.

I planned this trip for all the right reasons and knew without a doubt I would find a way (or it would simply work out) that this would not cause my financial situation any undue hardship. What has transpired is beyond amazing.

My son just happened to need to buy a car without shopping for one. I just happened to have a spare one sitting on the driveway. He paid double my asking price but my price was enough to cover my trip. My trip is paid in full.

Add onto that equation, the fact that my mom overpaid me for doing her income tax. Add that total to the refund I will get for cancelling my car registration/insurance and not only do I have my ticket paid in full, but my mom's as well.

Me, the spendthrift in the family, throws my money around without a second thought when it comes to simply doing the right thing.

This trip was the right thing to do. I knew it without a doubt. I spent first and budgeted later. The end result is nothing short of amazing.

I was telling my cousin (a minister) of the miracle of my spending lately. I worry less and it always works out in the end, in the most unexpected ways. He spoke of a the "gift of provision" (law of provision??) and if we just relax and trust (in God) we are always provided for.

I am quite certain my cousin could speak more eloquently than me, but the long and short of it is (to me) "Trust, and you shall be amazed".

This line of thinking hasn't served me too well in the department of romance, but hey! Maybe it is because I didn't trust enough. Hmmm ... food for thought, for another day.