I have been filling myself up with other people's words recently. I have been reading. It has been thoroughly enjoyable.
After watching the movie "Judy", I was interested in finding a biography on Judy Garland. I was in the biography section in the library unsuccessful in my quest, when I found Sally Field's memoir "In Pieces" and Chrissy Metz's (from "This is Us") book "This is Me".
I believe I found the books I was meant to read. The thing I love about both of these books is they are autobiographical. No one from the outside, looking in has written the words. They are first person, told from their personal point of view.
Their stories both go back to their first memories, their childhood, the circumstances they were raised in which resulted in a lot of memories about their mothers. As an imperfect mother in an imperfect world, I read their words from the perspective of my own children.
If my three sons were to write a book about their childhood, the mother they knew, their father as they knew him, the circumstances, their challenges, my failings leading up to the people they are today, it would result in three completely different stories.
As I read Sally and Chrissy's books, I thought the same rang true as they spoke of parents as they knew them. Both Sally and Chrissy had other siblings. It sounds as though different children within the same family were treated differently. To write this without context sounds harsh. But from my own personal experience, I know I was a different person as I raised each one of my boys.
Youth, inexperience, struggles within the marriage, finances, job security, my own personal character flaws, outside influences ... everything changed as I went along. I did the best I could at the time and my best changed and evolved over the years. No matter how much I learned along the way, I still made mistakes.
I love the way Sally Field summarizes how she feels as she brings her book to a close. She acknowledges the changing theories on raising a child, she writes of how important the infant to independence years of caring for a child are but she emphasizes that who you become as a person and a parent for the rest of your life matters a lot.
We are all imperfect beings doing the best we can with what we have. I challenge anyone out there to say they have been perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we repeat the mistakes, recycle them, relive them and continue to relearn the lessons we were meant to learn.
We all have different "starting points". We were all raised differently, we have different gene pools, we internalize the world in our own unique way. Some of us learn faster than others. Some may be trapped in circumstances they cannot leave.
Chrissy Metz summarizes it by saying "
Hurt people hurt people". Everyone has a story. I am so grateful to have read Sally and Chrissy's stories. Stories where they simply tell the facts as they remember them. Their truth. They don't point fingers and blame others for their circumstances. They acknowledged they wouldn't have become who they needed to be without the challenges they overcame.
I am grateful I stumbled upon autobiographies. They were interesting to read, I learned a lot and these books have piqued my curiosity to learn more, read more, write more and write better.
These little gifts were courtesy of my local library. All for the cost of $0.00. Reading is free of charge. Learning is optional. I love the door these books opened. I appreciate the perspective I have gained as a result of these personal memoirs. Thank you Sally and Chrissy.
