What's Good for the Car is Good for the Soul

Sometimes all we need is a good highway run. What works for vehicles can also do wonders for the human counterpart behind the wheel.

Some time prior to the need to switch over to winter tires, my "check engine" light came on. I hoped it would turn itself off but when that didn't happen, I was hopeful my mechanic would clear the warning, tell me it was nothing to worry about and send me on my way.

Unfortunately that was not the case. It was warning my fuel system was too rich - either too much air or fuel. Though it was something that needed to be tended to, it was okay to drive. My car would be fine for the five hour destination away from home. An appointment for a future date to repair this engine light warning was set for two weeks in the future, the first appointment available for my busy, reputable mechanic. C'est la vie.

I would have been more comfortable to head out on my mini-vacation without that check engine light taunting me all the way. I kept late hours during my time away and came home in the dark every night (which meant I stayed out past 5:00), the "check engine" light glowing brightly each and every night. 

Any time I felt anything slightly awry with my car, I cringed. I had brought along my mechanic's diagnosis so if the need arose for emergency resuscitation while away from home, I would be armed with information to make the repair as easy as possible. I kept hearing my mechanic's words on repeat in my head, "No, it will not strand you on the highway. It will be okay." 

After five hours of highway driving and three days of city driving, I headed my car in a homeward bound direction and was relieved my car made the trip. It would all be okay until I was back on home turf to tend to the needs of my rich fuel system and deal with the unbudgeted expense later.

I was halfway home when I glanced at my dashboard and noticed the check engine light was off. I stopped for gas, expecting it to light up when I restarted the car. Nothing. I assumed the light would come back on after a week of regular use. But it didn't.

My appointment date with my mechanic arrived and I called with the news of the warning light clearing itself. "Sometimes that happens. Maybe all it needed was a good highway run."

My mini-holiday was absolutely everything I needed and hoped it would be. I had an excessive amount of words building up within. If I came with a "check engine" light, it may have displayed a word system too rich error message.

Sometimes? All we need is a good highway run. What is good for our vehicle's fuel system can also be good for us. It may not be a cure all, but it is certainly worth a try.

Habits

It is so easy to fall back into old habits. Some habits are worth falling back into. Others? Sometimes it would be nice to replace a habit that is no longer serving you best with something better.

I thought getting up earlier was my answer. It was. For the first week. Then I became accustomed to those bonus hours and filled them up with things that felt like work. My bonus time became my new norm and I utilized those early morning hours well enough. But not in the manner I originally intended. 

Then I slipped into another time zone for a few days and all hope was lost. I started sleeping in. Again. 

I didn't want to step into the day. I was tired. I was cranky. I didn't like the forecast of the day's responsibilities. I slipped back into my old ways.

This morning my eyes popped open at 5 a.m. Bonanza!! I had laundry I wanted to get done; a house that needs vacuuming; followed by a shower and Boom! I would be ready for the day. It is almost 8 a.m. - three hours have passed in the blink of an eye and I still haven't taken the time to be still with my thoughts and write.

I seem to be filling myself up with "words" during my quiet time lately. My five hour drive for my mini holiday was spent listening to Remembrance Day programming one way and the narration of Alex Trebek's book on my way home. My quick trips to my little oasis away from home are about one "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast long. This (in my opinion) is quality programming. But I'm absorbing other people's words and continue to avoid thinking my own thoughts.

I keep falling back into wondering "who am I?" when I don't write, don't sing and dance to my favorite songs on the radio and when I turn off the buzz of all the outside connections that interrupt the natural flow of an old fashioned day. A day when the landline was the only way someone could call. A letter in the mail was the norm for keeping in touch with friends and family who live far away. Inviting friends and family to join me in some manner which would result in a face-to-face visit.

I want to turn back the hands in time to 2008. It was a time when I pealed back the layers of life that wasn't working for me and unearthed a life I was excited to live. It was a time when I immersed myself in family, family memories, family gatherings, invited people into my home or to go on an "adventure". It was a time I felt words oozing out my fingertips and I started writing here. It was time of beginning again. Beginning again was a result of an unexpected end to the life I was expecting. Beginning again was hard. But necessary. And so many good things came from shedding old expectations, examining the life I had and realizing I already had everything I could want.  

I believe a "radio silent" weekend is in order. Turn off my cell phone. Sign out of the Internet. A weekend to read, write and putter would be time well spent. I want to spend a weekend like it is 2008 again and unearth some good old habits.

Going Home Again

I did it! I have finalized and tweaked my upcoming three-day-vacation plans. I have contacted those I hope to see and set up some tentative times to meet. And I've given myself the gift of one extra night.

During the last of my visits with Mom, I offered to leave Monday morning and she readily agreed to having someone in the house one more night. That bonus day became exactly that. One more day. One more night. One more visit. 

I would leave nice and early Monday morning and be home in time to make it to my bonus job. Every weekend felt like a long weekend when I tacked on that extra night.

As I mapped out my plans for my visit back in Mom's old neighborhood, I hoped I would be able to arrange visits with those I've missed seeing (so much!) since the pandemic changed our world. It has always been my intention to keep going back to visit family and friends after Mom died. The year 2020 changed all of that.

I have maintained relationships with those-at-a-distance since I moved away from my old neighborhood 35 years ago. I became a loyal customer to Canada Post, weekly letters to Mom, occasional letters to friends, birthdays, Christmas, thank you and thinking of you cards and notes were second nature to me. Long distance phone calls were a luxury back in those days, before discounted long distance calling and long distance phone deals were invented. That didn't deter me. I could write to anyone at any time of the day or night and know my letter in the mail would not be an interruption in their day. It would sit quietly on its own and would be opened in due time. I wasn't an inconvenience to anyone. I loved those days.

Then came email. Instant receipt of my long winded letters in emails. Once again, I was quietly assured that my email would only be read when the recipient had time. Emails don't require an instant response though the turnaround time to send and receive an email certainly trumped the postal system. 

I could send out a number of emails at one time. "Send and forget" was my motto. I was very brave issuing invitations because I could invite a number of people at one time and there was no score keeping. I didn't take a non-response as an insult. I cast a wide net and those who were inclined, were free to join in. No expectation. No disappointment. I lived my glory days via email. It was a good time.

Then ... came cell phones. I didn't have the ability to send or receive texts on my first phone. Nor did I want that feature. Cell phones are for emergencies or when you aren't near a landline. I didn't want people to have my cell number because I considered my phone a call-out-only convenience. If I wasn't home, I didn't want to be talking on the phone.

Well ... all of that has changed. When I finally updated my old cell phone, my new one came with a cell phone package that included texting. This was back in 2010. I was still new to texting and though it was a novelty and kind of fun to send and receive instant messages, I wasn't entirely sold on the idea as a way of life.

I don't know how it happened. But it has. The convenience of texting and receiving instant gratification more often than not, I ended up being "one of those people" who utilized their cell phone as a regular means of communication. Whether I was home or not. 

The expectation of receiving an immediate response has changed me. Much to my chagrin, I have started keeping score. I love that I have friends and family who are known for only reading and responding to messages when it is a good time for them. No slight intended. They have kept me grounded and saved me from myself. As much as I fall back into the "I wonder why I haven't heard back...", I can talk myself down. Perhaps my message wasn't received. No time to respond. Maybe they simply forgot to reply or hit the "Send" button after thinking they had responded (I've done this on more occasions than I can remember).

Long story short, I have talked myself into believing I may not even have friends in my old neighborhood who are all that interested in visiting with me when I'm out. Just how much of a friend have I been lately? I don't call. I don't write. I don't reach out. Would I want to be my friend? Maybe my wish for isolation was granted [be careful what you wish for].

I sat still with those thoughts until they had time to marinade a little. It was a good reminder for me to be more of the friend I want to be. So I started reaching out to those who I hoped to see. And they responded. They like me! They still like me!! Even after I took COVID restrictions to the max and isolated myself ever so much longer than necessary.

 I can go home again!! And I will ensure I do my best to keep that door open.

Stay at Home Recommendations

Storm warning alerts bombarded my phone this morning. A winter storm watch has given me permission to stay home this weekend. Ahhh.

I love, love, love my little home-away-from-home. I tend to forget just how much I enjoy being there until I open the door upon my arrival. Then I fall in love with this little oasis away from home all over again. But I have been longing to just stay put lately.

Staying home is so simple. No preparation required. Cool winter weather, ice, snow and wind just make me want to hunker down and hibernate. 

I have felt a warm and welcome invitation to winter this year. Shortened days equate to less expectations. Cool weather makes my cozy winter socks feel like a warm hug. Winter weather conditions dictate stay-at-home recommendations. It is like COVID restrictions all over again. And I'm in. I'm ALL in!

I want to reserve my social and out-of-home energy for a mini-holiday (who else in the world calls a three day getaway a holiday?) coming soon. It takes extra energy to be "on" on a weekend. This energy is easily recharged when I'm around those who I am hoping to see while away. It will be exactly what I don't know I need. I can feel it already.

But this weekend? I am grateful for the recommendation to just stay home.

Life Hurts

When our bodies heal as they usually do and life resumes in an orderly fashion after being inconvenienced with aches and ailments that go away as they have done in the past, we are fortunate.

I have a recurring irritation that tends to heal itself but in the middle of the process I have started to wonder, "What if this is the time it doesn't go away?" It seems to be stress related and when my stressors subside so does my discomfort. What if those very stressors continued to stay on high alert?

In a valiant effort to save time, I was so very excited to book my flu shot and the latest COVID vaccination on the same day. The time it steals from my day is the biggest inconvenience but pretty painless all in all. Except when the day settles down and I stop moving my arms. Oooo. That hurt. I stretched and moved my arms until I went to bed and then I slept with a heated wheat bag which soothed me and my arm and served as a positive diversion from my attention to the pain which had found me. 

My hip started to ache at the tail end of a rather lengthy hike. That one kept me up at night. I stretched. I moved. I stretched some more. The next day it was not back to normal. I kept moving and carried on with my day. In the midst of this longer-than-usual discomfort, I wondered "Is this what starts to happen when one needs joints replaced?" I can't even remember if it lingered a little longer or not. Whether it lasted one day or two is not the point. The point is it fixed itself. I just kept moving and whatever may have been inflamed settled down on its own.

As I thought of recent minor ailments that have come and gone, this post was writing itself in my mind. Then it happened again. Out of the blue, after a completely normal day, at the day's end  my knee started to feel a little sharp pang (more like a ping) when I walked on it. I was careful not to irritate it but soon enough I was resting and soon asleep. End of story. Nope. I woke up this morning and the little pangs continued. Heat? No, my knee simply felt like it wanted a little support. I wrapped a tension bandage around my knee and if felt like a nice little hug. As I walked around and tended to my morning to-do-list, soon enough my knee was back to normal.

Sometimes I need to remove restrictions to avoid irritation. Other times I need a little constriction to feel a little extra support. Sometimes I can stretch it out. Other times a little extra heat does the trick.

I wonder if my minor maladies mirror what is going on with my mental state of being. Sometimes I feel too constricted. Other times I need bit of support. Sometimes I can keep moving and stretching my mind and my coping mechanisms. Other times I just need to cozy up and sleep it off.

In the middle of these discomforts I tend to forget they are temporary. My head knows this to be true but my inner child feels a little whiny and just wants to feel back to normal. Now.

Listening to our body. Listening to our thoughts. Listen. Try to feel what your body, mind and soul are telling you. This isn't a cure all but it is free of charge, no medicinal ingredients required and just another instance of sometimes having what you need is closer than you know.

I'm not a doctor. This is not professional advise. It is simply things that work for me when the chips are down. I think my body is doing just fine but my state of mind? It needs a little TLC from time to time.

Please take good care of yourself and let your body tell you what it needs. Call for medical advise when your body is screaming "Help!" but while waiting for relief see if your instincts are telling you how to manage things until medical aid is received.

Doing All the Things

Whew! I am so glad I know how to relax like a pro and grateful I stopped to pause when I did. Life has felt busy the past several days.

Saturday, I let the day slip through my fingers and savored every moment of it. It was a day of early morning errands so I wouldn't have to do any of those tasks in the days/week to follow. Followed by a day of mindless TV; easy eating; a little bit of snacking; and I was ready for bed shortly after 6:30.

"It's okay. You'll be glad you slept," I told myself as I headed for bed in the early hours of our long nights.

Sunday, I wanted to finish reading a book. So I did. I also wanted to get a head start on my work week. So I did that too. I had taken out hamburger so that had to be cooked. I knew Monday morning wouldn't be long enough so I prepared tuna salad for sandwiches the next day. I also knew I would be hard pressed to make time to wash my hair the next morning so I did that too.

Whew! It was a long, hard day but no regrets. Every single hard thing I did that day made room for Monday.

Month-end landing on a Monday is one of my most unfavorite things. What feels like a zillion things to do (in reality, probably between ten to twenty things), with the clock ticking every moment away. AND I somehow managed to book my COVID vaccination and flu shot Monday morning. As a rule, all of the hard end-of-the-month-tasks are tended to, by the 30th. So booking an appointment on the 31st isn't an unreasonable choice to make. C'est la vie.

Never again, but I got all the things done.

I soon realized my appointment to donate blood was today. The first of the month. Again, not normally unreasonable thinking to book such an appointment. When I realized the errors of my ways, all I could think was "It will be nice to get all of that done and over with so quickly". It will be, but this morning's morning tasks were doubled up with my own personal month-end-accounting and banking and figuring. 

The clock is ticking and I must get out the door. All the things will be done before noon today. 

I get to celebrate my success by taking my aunt to her quarterly appointment at the lab.

Fun times never end. Tomorrow, I will be on easy street again.

It's a good thing I rested.