Which Way is Up?

You know life is getting too complicated when you find something as simple as sheets should come with an instruction manual.

I wore out my bottom sheet a while ago so I invested in some new sheets. I'm more into the economical side of sheet-buying rather than thread count. I found a set of sheets for $39.97 and came home and "installed" them.

The fitted sheet doesn't fit as snugly as my previous one did. Fail. The top sheet was much larger as well, so I arranged the excessive sheet on the side of the bed by the wall. The pillowcases were a pleasant surprise, as they actually accommodate a queen sized pillow with ease.

It took longer than it should have, to make my bed the first time. The reward would come when I climbed into bed and nestled into my crisp new sheets for the first time. Another fail.

My feet snagged on the top sheet. So the next night before I went to bed, I sanded down my foot callouses and lotioned my feet until they were silky smooth before I went to bed. It was better but not perfect. The next night(s) after that, I tried sanding down the areas of my feet that were still snagging the sheets. Better. Still not perfect.

I was glad when it came time to launder my sheets so I could pull another set of reject-sheets from the closet and enjoy some snag-free sleep.

My old sheets are the kind where you get one corner of the fitted sheet in place and it pops out the moment you try to fit the second corner. It took much manoeuvring to wrangle all four corners into place at one time. I knew there was a reason these sheets got shelved. The pillowcases barely fit over the pillows. But the sheets were soft. Oh, so soft to sleep in. Heavenly!

I checked the labels. My old, ill fitting sheets are Egyptian cotton. Good to know. My new ones are microfibre. Duly noted.

When the time came to change my sheets again, I decided to give my new ones another try. It was a good excuse to tend to my calloused feet.

I crawled into bed that night and was conscious enough to realize my feet were only snagging the top sheet. The bottom sheet was just fine. The sheets have a shiny side and a cottony-smooth side. Hmmm ... did I install my top sheet wrong?

Last night, I remade my bed and flipped the top sheet "upside down". Embroidery face down, hems showing, shiny side up, to match the way the fitted sheet was made to fit the bed. I crawled into bed, ran my feet across the sheets. Perfection! No foot-snagging. It was awesome.

I grazed my feet across the perfectly smooth sheet surfaces every time I rolled over last night. Ahhh!!! So smooth! Heavenly!

Not only did I figure out why I most likely wore out my previous sheets (from all the friction created as I ran my feet over my sheets as I slept), but I felt a small bit peeved as I thought to myself, "Life is far too complicated if I cannot even install sheets without a set of instructions indicating which way is up!"

The moral of my little story is that thread count (in my estimation) does not matter as much as knowing which way is up when you buy new sheets.