Morning Thoughts Tell Me All I Need to Know

My eyes popped open, never to close again in and around 5 a.m. That is okay. It is good. 5:00 a.m. gives me time to do all I want to do with my morning. Which starts with my "morning pages".

My morning thoughts were all about work. What I didn't accomplish last week. What needs to be accomplished this week. Things I know about, all the things that will crop up unexpectedly and everything in between. Work, work and more work thought infiltrated my thought waves.

I started writing which unveiled my deep seated gratitude. I am exactly where I need to be right now. Because ...

My secondary thoughts revolved around my car. Yes. My car. Again. Still. Now? It is the windshield washer pump. It is official. I have only used windshield washer antifreeze for -35ºC or colder. I do not have any light weight summer wiper fluid in the reservoir. The windshield washer pump is not pumping as it should. An appointment is booked.

As I rambled on in my morning pages, I continued to go down the path of my financial state of affairs. #1 goal - pay off money borrowed for exterior house painting this summer; #2 - save up for income taxes owing; #3 - save, save and save some more; #4 - get in the habit of spending less so when retirement does find its way into my life, I am able to live within my means.

Wait a minute!

I have had the nerve to be whiny about the necessity of leaving our home to earn a pay cheque when that very pay cheque is a requirement to sustaining my financial state of existence?!

What if my employers decided my services were no longer required? What if things changed on a dime with either of those I work with and for? Am I ready?

I don't know enough. I haven't saved enough. I have a car that is on life support to sustain its reliability. I presently spend too much money.

I have lived a life where I have had to work, spend wisely and sustain myself. I have had financial back-up systems to help me along the way. I haven't done this all by myself but I have been fully accountable for paying the bills my entire adult life. It will all be okay. It always is.

I need to refresh my memory and remind myself to simply be grateful. I am exactly where I need to be. I always am.