Sparking Joy

My head is all over the map this First Friday in this Fresh New Month.

I brought work home with me so I can put in the first few hours of work at home this morning which feels empowering. I have set a start time in my head which I must adhere to in order to make this work. If it works today, perhaps I can make it work another day in the future.

Blurring the line between "work" and "home" is defined by working within my designated work time and mental space. I CAN bring work home and accomplish it if it doesn't interfere with my designated "me time".

Combining work and home feels empowering. Feeling empowered sparks joy.

My Youngest Son is headed home today. He has been gone exactly one week (almost to the hour, as I write this). He has had a most excellent time at the workshop he has attended and I can't wait to hear all about it.

Unfortunately, I will still be at work when he arrives. He has invited friends over tonight so by the time I get home, he will be busy. I will hear the watered down version of his week tomorrow. But just recalling how I can reignite the joy I felt during various recent vacations, I still feel like I will hear the best version as he relives the highlight reel.

My Youngest has lived a very sheltered life. At the ripe old age of 20 years old, he hasn't experienced "life" outside the confines of our bubble wrapped little world here at home very much. I am so glad he got away and experienced how it feels to live a week away from the definition of who he is at home.

I remember how I felt when I stepped away from Mom's ideals and started thinking for myself. By myself. It is a giddy feeling. To think your own thoughts, live your own life, define who you are outside the confines of "home".

My last little bird is taking his first steps outside of our nest. His wings seem to be worthy of taking flight. He sounds happy. He sounds joyful. This sparks "joy" within me.

I sat on my glasses several days ago and bent them in a manner which made me feel rather woozy when I tried wearing them the next day. Long story short, I need new glasses. The kind person who very carefully straightened my present day glasses so I could wear them without feeling nauseous, was the same person who helped me choose my next pair of specs.

It was a small thing but it was huge. A conversation which began by admitting "I hate mirrors" ended up in a merging of kindred thoughts, sparked a conversation about my dancing days (and all the mirrors) and as I walked away from that encounter and into my day, her parting words were of the essence "I'm so glad I got to start off my day with this conversation" (those were not her words at all but it was definitely the essence of what she said).

I drove off to work with thoughts of this conversation and my dancing days wafting through my thoughts. As I parked the car, the theme song of the dance competition I participated in started playing through the radio waves. "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night" brought me right back to that joy filled time of dance and where it took me.

As this weekend nears (and yes!, I DEFINITELY believe 3 Day Work Weeks are my retirement goal), I am feeling light, energized and eager to start the Marie Kondo process of the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

I have been feeling heavy and overwhelmed for the last long while. It is time to lighten things up and keep only that which sparks joy.

What sparks joy for you? The moment you feel the joyful sensation, I highly recommend stopping in that moment and simply saying "thank you". The more you recognize those moments of joy and acknowledge them, the more you will realize that even within the darkest of days, there are still moments where joy resides (for me yesterday morning, it was when I dropped a container of lotion and it landed right-side-up so there was NO clean up required, with the added bonus of not wasting any lotion!).

It is the little stuff that matters. Little things added up, can take us down to places we do not want to be. Little things added up, can also bring us up to where we need to be. One moment at a time.

Focus on joy. Where do you find it? What do you need to "define" to allow yourself what you need to get through the day?

Small stuff. Look for joy in the mundane. Say thank you. It all adds up ...

Slow Dancing (for now)

Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night ... ("I've Got a Feeling") was the song playing on the radio this morning when I was finally ready to accept my fate and greet the day ahead.

This was the 'theme song' they played at a dance competition I attended five short years ago. Every time some big award was given out, they would play the chorus of this song:

"I gotta feeling (oooooo hoooo) that tonight's gonna be a good night 

That tonight's gonna be a good night 

That tonight's gonna be a good good night"

The Black Eyed Peas

My heart started to beat to the tempo of this song. I sat back and marvelled at those receiving awards and thought of how the memory of the evening would replay each and every time they heard that chorus. 

It was akin to the emotion I used to feel watching beauty pageants in my youth. I could put myself in their shoes and feel the tide of emotion sweep over me. 

For years (and years) every single time I heard that theme song, I was transported back in time. Back to that competition. Back to the euphoria. Back to the moments of excitement I felt during that Cinderella-at-the-ball weekend.

The song brought back a feeling of happiness, dreams-come-true and pure and utter joy.

I laid in bed this morning and heard that very same song.

I tried to muster the joy I felt when that song first walked into my life. It was as if I was watching the highlight reel of someone else's life. 

I was a different person back then.

I have changed and evolved and grown. I like a lot of the changes. I miss the passion I felt during those glory days though.

I am grateful my life isn't one big Dance Competition.

It took a lot of energy to primp and prepare for those two days of glitz. Fake tan, eyelash extensions, gel finger and toenails, crazy hair color, new hair style, costumes, evening wear, make-up and jewelry. It was fun while it lasted but it took a lot of energy to maintain the aura of 'a dancer'.

Oh, my dancing days.

It was a good run. It was a very good run! I loved every moment of it. Until I didn't.

What has changed? In a nutshell? Me.

I care more about what I look like on the 'inside' than on the 'outside'. 

I have more fun dancing like no one is watching, than worrying about the intricacies of technique and perfection because everyone is watching.

The sad part is - I don't dance anymore. No where. 

I don't dance in the kitchen like I used to. I don't go to dances. I miss the social interaction and the movement to music while surrounded with a group of people who share that passion.

It is less about the dance and more about the passion. 

I miss that girl. But I'm glad I once knew and embodied her. 

The day will come when the lyrics "Tonight's gonna be a good night..." will make my heart sing again.

Just not this morning. Just not today.

Life's ebbs and flows. I am not going to fight it. I'm just feeling what I'm feeling for as long as I need to feel it. I have the feeling if I fight it, it is going to come back and overwhelm me.

I don't feel like dancing right now. But I will. I know I will. I loved it too much not to fall back in love with it again.

In the interim, I'm just slow-dancing through the days.

Written Feb 15, 2010:

Coming Home

All good things must come to an end. So it is, with the Great Dance Adventure of 2010.

What lies on the horizon? Who knows. If someone would have told me I would have had this opportunity a year ago, I wouldn't have believed them. That fact alone makes me believe that absolutely anything is possible.

Life isn't full of grand adventures ... it is defined by how we walk through our daily routines.

The gift, is to find adventure in everything you do. Make each day the best day of your life-so-far. Every single morning, we awake to endless possibilities. Sure, they aren't all fun and games ... but even a bad day is a day to be conquered. Like climbing a mountain. You can only appreciate the view as you near the top. The view is fleeting ... the struggle is what builds your character and lasts forever.

Yes, this Dance Event has come and gone. The moment was fleeting, in the whole scheme of things. What will I remember? The challenge, the struggles, the fun, the adventure, the novelty, the people ...

Throughout this voyage, I have heard so much from so many. Encouragement, advise, support and friendship. When all of the memories fade, as memories do ... I will hold onto the words, the friends and the people who have made this such a Memorable Time in My Life.

I'm headed home as I write this ... back to earth and back to the reality that is my life. It's a good life - a life that I'm thrilled is awaiting my return. What if I didn't have that? An everyday-life that I savor, surrounded with people that inspire and fuel me. There is no Grand Adventure in the world, that could make up for not having what I've had all along.

I have a most wonderful life. I have fulfilled a most amazing dream. I am ready to put my feet back on the ground and go forward from here.

As always ... it feels good to be coming home.

All That's Left is the Orange Hair

Be it ever so humble ... there's no place like home.

It doesn't matter if I'm gone hours, days or a week (I've never been gone longer than a week), I love coming home.

If I could have been granted one wish upon my return from our dance competition, it would have been to pack up one of our travel-mates (any one of them ... I loved visiting with each and every person in our group) and bring them home with me. I had become used to having a room-mate. I was going to be lonely. And I was. For about one minute.

I returned home from the airport with my family and since we had exchanged a brief update on the car ride and it was late at night ... we all drifted in separate directions.

As I reassembled my old life, I realized that it was a good thing that I no longer had a room-mate. I immerse myself in my little world. I indulge myself in all of my little idiosyncrasies (that would drive any mortal being crazy). My brain was so full, it was restful not to have any more new input. Amazingly, it was also very peaceful for me to stop the flow of my own words (I exhaust myself at times).

I unpacked and settled back into my life. It is a good fit.

Throughout the course of the day, two of my fake nails broke off. The nails were too long and cumbersome anyway but I had thought that I'd get my money's worth out of them and keep them up for a little while. But when the second one snapped off, I evened off the rest. My nails have been reinstated to a length that allows me to type and navigate a little better in the real world.

I have returned to my regularly scheduled life. Without the adornments of a ballroom dancer. All of the glitz and the glam have been washed off, worn off or broken off. The 'old me' is back. Until I look in the mirror and I still find the shock of seeing that brilliant orange hair.

The fairy tale world of princesses and ballgowns is a nice place to visit ... but I wouldn't want to live there. It is good to be back.

But until I have a chance to deal with the bright, orange highlights in my hair ... I still have a visual reminder of my Dance Adventure of 2010.

I've Got a Feeling ...

I can't put in words, what this song does for me ... but I have tried:

I have lived a dream!! I savored every moment. This song shall continue to bring it to life for me every time I hear it.

Coming Home ...

All good things must come to an end. So it is, with the Great Dance Adventure of 2010.

What lies on the horizon? Who knows. If someone would have told me I would have had this opportunity a year ago, I wouldn't have believed them. That fact alone makes me believe that absolutely anything is possible.

Life isn't full of grand adventures ... it is defined by how we walk through our daily routines.

The gift, is to find adventure in everything you do. Make each day the best day of your life-so-far. Every single morning, we awake to endless possibilities. Sure, they aren't all fun and games ... but even a bad day is a day to be conquered. Like climbing a mountain. You can only appreciate the view as you near the top. The view is fleeting ... the struggle is what builds your character and lasts forever.

Yes, this Dance Event has come and gone. The moment was fleeting, in the whole scheme of things. What will I remember? The challenge, the struggles, the fun, the adventure, the novelty, the people ...

Throughout this voyage, I have heard so much from so many. Encouragement, advise, support and friendship. When all of the memories fade, as memories do ... I will hold onto the words, the friends and the people who have made this such a Memorable Time in My Life.

I'm headed home as I write this ... back to earth and back to the reality that is my life. It's a good life - a life that I'm thrilled is awaiting my return. What if I didn't have that? An everyday-life that I savor, surrounded with people that inspire and fuel me. There is no Grand Adventure in the world, that could make up for not having what I've had all along.

I have a most wonderful life. I have fulfilled a most amazing dream. I am ready to put my feet back on the ground and go forward from here.

As always ... it feels good to be coming home.

Time to Absorb and Learn ...

This morning's agenda consists of attending lectures by World "Top Coaches". Three hours of information from the pros (and lunch too!).

After our whirlwind dance showcases back at home, I have found myself ill prepared to absorb anything 'the day after' the big event. I am quite eager to attend these lectures though ... because I have had three complete days (the third day - just to relax and watch everyone else dance) to sit back and take in all there is to absorb while I'm here.

I should be able to take in some new information ... and I love the opportunity to prolong this entire dance experience.

Then, we will have the entire afternoon and evening to explore what Montreal has to offer. I don't know what is on the agenda. I just know that I'm taking in every moment. These memories are coming home with me and are going to last a lifetime.

I'm absorbing it all and will write all about it when I get home!

The Big Event!!

THIS ... is where I am!! Today! It is real.

Meanwhile ... back at home, My Nephew is facing heart surgery today. It feels so very wrong for me to be living a dream, while real life goes on in my absence.
I'm going to dance my heart out for you, Nephew. Be well ... and what will I be thinking as I walk onto the dance floor? "This one's for you!"

Makes Me Crazy

In my quest to make getting ready for The Big Day as stress free as possible, I have gone off the deep end.

The things that 'matter' when it comes to a dance competition are crazy. The idea is to be noticed. From 25 feet away. So everything has to be done in extremes.

Hair with earth tone highlights? Blase. Let's go for carrot orange! Natural skin tones? You look pale and washed out. Tan is in! Eyes? You must notice the eyes! Nails? Hands must match the feet and grooming must be impeccable! Costumes? Glittery and showy (no more black for me)! Jewellery? 'Bling' (an adornment (as a bracelet or ring or necklace) made of precious metals and set with gems or imitation gems) is in!

Bright! Big! Showy! Otherwise, you blend in with the woodwork (I'm wondering what is wrong with that).

So ... I have gone crazy. From spray tanning, to fake nails, to fake eyelashes and fake orange highlights in my hair. I should be able to act like an entirely different person when I get out on the dance floor ... because there is nothing 'real' about me.

The past few days have been all about taking care of all of the primping. The girly stuff that is simply not me. It's sort of fun ... but oh, so time consuming (and expensive)! I've been running around the city, beautifying myself.

It's enough to make you go crazy:

Fleeting Moments ... Can They Last Forever?

My mind is consumed with preparations for The Big Trip now. There are little pockets of space to think about other things, but the vast majority of my brain would flash *packing* *primping* *preparing* and *dancing* in bright neon lights if someone was to X-ray it at this very moment.

It's too close now. It's down to the wire. I'm going to blink ... and it's going to be over. How can I make this feeling last forever??

I shall write. I've already packed my pad of paper and pen. I don't know how many idle moments that there will be while I'm away ... but I do know that I can't sleep when I get excited. So I will write.

I will take pictures. I have gotten very lax in the picture-taking department, after a year where I was the most annoying family member on earth (as I was determined to document and make 'movies' out of every moment). I must take pictures. Something tangible to hold onto after I come back down to earth.

I will partake in every moment. The wallflower part of my personality will stay home. This vibrant red/orange haired girl shall walk a different walk. And live every moment!

I remember the adjustment that it was, to accept the fact that participating in this dance competition was really going to happen ... to me! I was uncomfortable with taking those first steps out of my highly regimented world. The idea of spending all of that money. Saying the words out loud and being excited about saying them took time. Once I finally accepted the fact that I was really partaking in this Grand Adventure ... I haven't looked back. Only ahead!

At some point during this adventure, I wrote down some words Rosie spoke when she was on Oprah. She realized that she was defining herself by her past. Whenever she talked about herself, she spoke of the person she used to be. It took someone actually bringing it to her attention, to realize that it was true.

I thought of myself. I define myself by who I am, to the people in my life ... but in the grand scheme of things, I look back and define myself by the experiences that I have overcome in my life. I define myself by my past.

Ever since I've embraced the idea of participating in this dance competition, I haven't done that so much. When I talk to people, I am talking about where I am going ... not where I've been.

The best way to keep these moments in time vivid, long after this dance competition has come and gone, is to continue to think this way. Where is my life headed? I've learned many lessons throughout this life of mine. It's time to embrace them, let them go and move forward.

Big events come and go throughout life. I can't stop the world and make this last forever ... but I can look ahead to the next Big Adventure I decide to partake in. Big or small. I will embrace the moment.

This dance event will be a highlight of my life that I will hold onto forever. But it won't define me. It's just a step in a direction I want to take. I will continue walking to see what lies around the next corner.

This is Really Happening!!

My heart has started to race with anticipation. It all became very, very real to me last night as I wafted through my dance lesson ...

This week, my dance instructor asked me to wear my dance costumes to my lessons. I wore my ball gown Tuesday night and last night I wore my new rhythm costume.

I 'bejewelled' my fingers, wrists and ear lobes. My new orange hair doesn't seem so out of place when a part of the entire ensemble. I glittered and sparkled. I was transformed.

I feel like I'm a little kid playing dress-up. Other than Halloween, when (as adults) do we have a chance to take a step on the wild side and dress completely out of the norm? I have often described our dance showcase days as feeling like you are a princess for a day.

You feel different, you move differently (though the song "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" did come to mind as I gathered the nerve to walk out in public with my skimpy little costume) but most of all (after I stopped shaking), you act differently. You look like you can dance ... so you act like you can dance.

I wish that I could wave my magic wand and transform everyone into their inner princess. When you dress up for these dance events, you get to step out of the norm. You get to play a part. But most of all ... you get to dance!!

Last night, my dance instructor gave me a card of encouragement as we enter the final stage of this fun-filled journey of preparing for The Biggest Event of My Life So Far. I came home after an evening at the dance studio and gazed at this card, the words and I was overcome by the reality that was 'the moment'. "Live Laugh Love ... Nothing is worth more than this day."

Nothing is worth more than this day. No matter what is going on in your world, what truer words could be spoken?

I have had my moments of apprehension as I stepped into the abyss of the unknown as far as all that this dance competition entails. The money, the time, the primping, my abilities, the money ...

But ever since I dared to dance and let this adventure sweep into my world, it has been like a dream come true.

It is real. I am really doing this!! I am living my dream. I highly recommend following your heart and embracing a dream. No matter how things go once I'm there, no one can take away these days, weeks and months of anticipation. I have already gotten my money's worth out of this grand adventure.

It's happening. This dream is really coming true!!

The New Hair

I keep forgetting about my shocking new look until I happen upon a mirror. I shudder at the reality that is my hair now. Every single time I catch a glimpse of myself, I remind myself of this Looney Tunes sheepdog.

My hair feels like it falls in my face the same way as this sheepdog's hair does. And the hair color? I would say it's a pretty close match.

The dazed expression on his face? That's me ... stumbling through the dance moves that I'm supposed to know by now.

Just call me "Sam"...

"Sam" the Looney Tunes sheepdog

Change

I love my ruts. Every now and again I like to forge my way out of an old rut ... but it is in the quest to make a new one.

There is a lot of same-ness in my life. We've lived in the same house for over 15 years ... I've had the same car for 11 1/2 years ... I hold on tight to my friendships.

I've jumped out of the career-rut ever so gradually. I worked in the banking industry for 30 years. When I thought I wanted to try something else, I continued to work at the bank one day a week for 10 years (while I ran my daycare from home). Before I was ready to jump ship altogether, I took a year leave of absence. Just in case I changed my mind (I didn't).

There is my daycare. I started babysitting 11 years ago. Even as I attempt to find a new rut in my next career move, I continue to keep before and after school kids. I can't bring myself to try and sell off or give away all of the daycare paraphernalia around here. Just in case ...

I needed to replace my purse last night. When I found an exact replica of the purse that I already have, I was thrilled. It is the same with pants or shoes - if I find some that actually fit, if I can I will buy two pairs of them. And I definitely replace the worn out, with duplicates of what has worked for me in the past. New, but the same. That's me!

I don't move my furniture around ... my clothes have been around forever (though I recently went on quite a spending spree) ... my routines and rituals are a variance of the same old, same old. Then there is my hair.

Even though I spent the better part of the past two years trying to grow out an old hair cut, my son looked at an old picture of me and said "Your hair style never changes". What?! I've tried and I've tried to find a new look. More often than not, I'd go to the hairdresser with shiny new ideas. Then, I would walk out looking just like 'me'.

The 'Dorothy Hamil' look that I aimed for a few weeks ago has not been going well. I've gotten over the shock of the new reflection in the mirror, but what I see is a hair style that I don't love. I was willing to go with it because it will grow into something I like. I'm sure of it. But upon the advise of The Man Who Knows All when it comes to dancing and dance competitions, I'm losing the new (old) look.

This morning I am off to the most intense hair appointment of my life. My hairdresser has talked to The Man Who Knows All and he has told her his vision of what he would like my hair to look like. This is so out of the norm, that my hairdresser called me yesterday and said "Are you okay with this?? Do you really want to do what he is suggesting?"

Scary words from a hairdresser.

I woke up at about 3:30 this morning. What should be at the top of my subconscious mind ... but my new hair.

I didn't break out into a sweat. But I didn't go back to sleep either (I'm sure that I dozed, but my brain never stopped thinking about my new look).

If I was going straight to the dance competition, that would be one thing. But I have to walk around in real life for two weeks. Two weeks where I can just feel what people will be thinking: "What is that old woman trying to prove?! Look at her hair!" I'm wondering if I can fashion a scarf &/or hat to sport in the real world for a while.

But then again, there is a chance that I may like it.

Change scares the socks off of me. This morning my feet are pretty chilly. But I'm moving on. It's time for a new rut.

Learning As I Go

This time last year, I was valiantly trying to introduce one good habit into my life each week.

It was small stuff - drink lots of water; stop buying chips; stop drinking pop; start exercising 20 minutes a day (then 40); start eating (mostly) whole wheat; and then the big one: stop eating after 7 pm.

That is where it stopped. The habit of eating after supper was the deal breaker for me. I was five weeks into my 'one good habit a week' program when I hit the wall. I stepped on the scale after five weeks of developing better habits ... and I had actually gained weight. More weight (after a very bad spree of gaining a pound per month).

So ... I went on a chocolate and chip binge like no other. I returned to my previous life where I ate what I wanted, when I wanted.

Then, in the spring I tried again.

I went on my food budget. I carefully tracked my food/calorie intake and worked hard to offset the calorie reduction with exercise. I thought that I had it licked. It was simple math. It was a budget! I've been budgeting for the entirety of my adult life. I could do that.

As it turned out ... I couldn't. I went into an exercise hyper drive mode just before a family gathering. I was still watching what I ate and exercising as much as I could find the time for. Add in a lack of sleep, an obsessive desire to be organized for company/a surprise party/a night away from home and my overly excitable tendencies ... and I could barely keep myself together the next day. I almost had a meltdown of major proportions in front of a group of family members.

I stopped the 'food budget'.

My latest binge of under eating, lack of sleep and high excitement levels was in November. The week prior to our dance showcase, I could feel it coming. The excitement, forgetting to eat and the inability to sleep. All was good and fine ... until it was over.

The above mentioned combination of lack of food and rest, added to my overly excitable state made for a very, very bad 'morning after'. An emotional hangover. It wasn't pretty.

Now ... here I am again. On the brink of yet another incredibly exciting event in my life - an upcoming holiday and dance competition. How am I going to learn from the past?

First of all, I started one new habit ... at least a month and a half ago. I stopped eating after supper. Period. Nothing more, nothing less. No snacking in the evenings. I quit cold turkey and it hasn't been that bad.

It is rather disheartening because the weight (obviously) isn't falling off of me just because I stopped noshing after my last meal of the day. But what is happening is better. I have lost a pound. Maybe two. And this is exactly how I gained my weight. A pound a month. It isn't rocket science ... but I believe this is the answer for me.

Secondly, I am doing my best to tend to all that must be tended in a relaxed fashion. I am not going to be running around like a crazy-person the week before this competition trying to do a million last minute things. Slow and steady. I don't want the crescendo ... because I don't need the crash that inevitably follows.

I love feeling excited about something. But I must temper it. A little.

What I am feeling at this moment is incredible. A little bit of happiness is right under my skin at all times. I can get lost for a moment in dealing with the daily rituals of life and then I'll think ... Montreal! One month from today! What will we be doing? The happy factor is alive and kicking. I love it.

While I'm at the competition, I will be sharing a room with someone who (from what I've seen) seems to be the essence of calmness. As long as I don't drive this person crazy with my energy, I think the calming factor will be exactly what I need.

We will be gone for six full days. Six days should give me the time to relax and savor the experience. I shouldn't feel the tendency to leap into that hyper drive state where I feel I must see, feel and experience it all ... because the moment is fleeting. Our dance showcases are like a wedding day. A lot of preparation and hype ... and it is over in one day. Six days will be wonderful. Time to experience everything to the fullest.

I've looked back on the year past and not made any resolutions. My goal is to learn from the past year and make the year ahead better.

No earth shattering revelations - I'm just learning as I go.

Hair and Make-Up and All That Stuff

As I mentally try to remember all that I need to do to prepare for this upcoming dance competition, I start to go a little squirrelly when I think about the grooming part of the equation.

Fake nails are the way to go. Despite the fact that it has been two months since my last ordeal with them and they all but destroyed my real nails ... it is the one thing that I won't have to worry about.

Then there is the hair. I've spent the better part of the year outgrowing some very bad hair cuts. My hair is now long enough to have some choices as to how to style it. And what has the suggestion been? Short and sassy. The Dorothy Hamil look. It's a look that I always aspired to have. It's a look that I have asked for on numerous occasions. Short and sassy ... I like that. Then, I come out of the hairdressers looking like ... me. It disappoints me every time.

Then my hair color. Lots of words tossed in my direction but the ones that stuck in my mind, are that you don't want to blend in when you are on a competitive dance floor. Mousy brown is probably out. My present hair color sounds like it is too dark. Highlights. Lots of highlights. Okay ... I'll cross my fingers and hope that between my comprehension of what was said and my hairdresser's talent, we get it right.

Make-up. My dramatic, over-the-top make-up look is ... everyday stuff for most people. I attended a make-up workshop that one of the dance pros put on for us after a dance showcase. It's a lot about contours, eyes and eyebrows. Fake eyelashes are common place, but despite many determined attempts, I have never managed to hone the skill of gluing fake body hairs onto my eyelids.

And there is the tanning. You don't want to have lily white skin on the dance floor. I usually buy some fake tanning cream and spend a few nights prior to a dance showcase trying to darken my skin tone. But this time, I will be away from home, sharing a hotel room and working within the restrictions of what sizes and amounts of lotions, liquids, etc. that I can bring on a plane. The self-tanning process is tedious and I can't quite imagine squeezing in this 'process' while I'm on the vacation-of-my-lifetime-so-far. I'll have to check the alternatives ...

This aging process takes away some of the ease in which one prepares for something like this. There was a time (that I thought may last forever) when I looked in the mirror and a youthful reflection looked back at me. Now ... I see crevices forming around my mouth, bad hair and facial features that fade into oblivion unless I dress them up with some kind of pencil or mascara.

What is happening to me?? I still feel like I'm 27 (or my early 30's, at worst)! Who the heck is living on the other side of my mirror?

I have always wanted to be like the Noxema Girl. The wholesome girl-next-door. I want to wake up in the morning with that fresh and unpainted Noxema Look ... with my Dorothy Hamil hair and be ready to face the day without 'hair and make-up' before I even walk into the kitchen in my own home!

The primping required for these dance events always drives me crazy. I'm grateful for fake nails. How about fake hair and face? Hey Noxema, what miracles do you have within your jars of cold cream these days?