Why?

 As I take the first tentative steps into dealing with photographs, memories, keepsakes and other paraphernalia around our home there is one word that comes to mind. "Why?"

What do I have and hold onto that has any value to anyone but me? Is this really worth the effort? Or should I simply dump and shred the vast majority of that-which-has-accumulated throughout the years?

Then I heard Mom's voice quietly penetrate my subconscious thoughts. I believe I was wishing for a quieter, less committed life. "Be careful what you wish for" whispered through my mind. I think it was Mom's voice.

Mom lived without Dad for thirty seven and a half years. My brother was in grade 12 at the time Dad was hospitalized and continued to live with Mom another five to six years (I could tell you exactly, because I kept the first letter he wrote me from his new apartment and I know exactly where to find it). There were various "borders" who came and went throughout the years, but for the most part, Mom was on her own the vast majority of the time.

I think Mom and I are wired similarly. We navigate life solo well. Home is important to us. Family grounds us. We do best when we have a game plan for the day ahead.

I remember one of my very first thoughts when my first son was born. I was 17 years old at the time. Please forgive me. I think my thoughts were a little bit like this: "A boy ..." "Eighteen more years 'til he grows up" (not necessarily in that order).

Then, I kept on having a baby about every ten years. Now, at age (almost) 60, I am still parenting my youngest son who is attending University. I may be 65 before I'm on my own within this house of mine. I have never lived a day of my adult life without a dependent under my roof. But the day will come. Then what will I have?

I imagine myself wandering through my home, appreciating that which I held onto. My brother's first letter of independence. Photographs and albums that encompass Mom and Dad's family history, up until I stopped developing pictures that are stored on my computer or a USB drive. I can picture myself sitting still with Mom's library and going through her books one by one by one. I hope my curiosity for life starts to mirror hers as the demands of life start to diminish.

I see myself combing through the memories I have collected along the way and knowing when to let go and what is worthy of holding onto. I have three sons who are NOT collectors of memorabilia. What I have, will need to find homes elsewhere. It may become a project to re-home some of what matters to me before the day my children have to decide.

I foresee a long life ahead. I will need to re-invent myself and become someone who has something to talk about when in the company of others. I need to keep the air around me fresh, new and alive.

Who will I become when I reach the stage when I am living on my own? I know one cannot hold onto the past but I also know the value of feeling the roots of belonging. 

The need to cull and purge is ongoing. Some of what held value to me at the onset of my day, I was ready to purge by the day's end. Why would I hold onto this? What value does it hold? To me? To anyone else?

As I empty one set of shelves, to fill it with the photographs and memories I have deemed worthy of keeping, I must continue to ask myself "Why? Why is this important? Is it worthy of the space it takes to hold this? If I was not here, would this be of value to anyone else?"

I should "Marie Kondo" this scenario, pull out all my memorabilia and stack it all in one room to recognize the vastness of the task at hand. 

Two Rubbermaid containers at a time is enough for today. I need another extended long weekend before I take on the world. When I accept the challenge, I must ask myself two questions: 

• Does this bring me joy?
• Why am I holding onto this?

Holding onto the memories of the past without letting it weigh you down is a continual process. While there is a time to hold onto and cherish the past, part of the process is knowing when to let it go. 

I have held onto things that held value to Mom. Because they were important to her, it wasn't easy to discard her personal mementos. The question is now: "Does this matter to me?" 

The process continues...

Best Before Dates

In an archaeological dig within the remnants of a life I have a feeling a lot can be learned about a person based on the "best before" dates within their kitchen.

This seed of an idea was planted this past weekend when I went to assemble several consecutive meals. As I tried to cover all food and beverage basics and provide options, I dug into the archives of our kitchen cupboards and without even trying, I unearthed one great truth I know to be true. Life as we knew it stopped in and around 2016. The year my daycare closed.

Within one meal, I found a can of iced tea crystals, a can of corn and a bottle of salad dressing, all of which expired in 2016.

In one quick glance of a cupboard, while researching this post (a few moments ago) I found another batch of dry food items which either were created before "best before dates" were the norm or else expired in the years 2016 through 2018.

The expiry dates reveal food preferences, dates of life changing events, free food items, coupon availability, the lack of clearing out the cupboards and the inclination to believe "expiry dates are for wimps (see previous research here).

I amassed different groceries for different ages and stages of my life, my children and who came to visit.

Dry food and canned food items are a preference of mine, as each of these items withstand the test of time better than fresh food. In case of an unforeseen emergency, these are good food items to have on standby.

My inclination towards thriftiness is yet another reason I hold onto things longer than the date the retailer recommends.

Plus? I'm kinda lazy when it comes to culling old food items.

Our freshly renewed kitchen is holding onto many great secrets of mine. All of which can be discovered by digging deeper than the recommended "best before date".

Marie Kondo, I need to sit down with you and continue the process we started at the onset of this new year. I started your process, went through an entire main floor renovation with your inspirational words "Does this spark joy?" running through my mind on repeat and I still have a kitchen that holds onto expired food items. Even after the culling process was (supposedly) complete.

My one true wish is that I do not live beyond my own personal best before date. Yet my kitchen is the graveyard of many such items. It is no secret that I have a hard time letting go and moving on. Armed with this realization and seeing the words written before me don't hold the impact they should.

I would prefer to utilize that which we have before throwing it away. I vow to ensure everything passes the smell test and that nothing within the dry ingredients moves independently before I use them. This is all I can promise for now. Baby steps...

Life Beyond the Renovation

Now that our renovations are taking up less real estate in my brain, "life" is catching up with me.

My hair - it is in dire need of a root touch up and trim. I look like an shaggy old dog. This look may pass on a 30 year old. But for a person in their late 50's, who wears their stress on their face? It's gotta go.

Speaking of hair - while glancing at my reflection on a differently lit mirror, I found a lone chin hair which needed to be plucked a week prior. It was so long, I had to measure it. It had time to grow an entire half inch. Oh dear. At least it was grey and didn't stand out TOO badly.

Income tax - I'm usually right on top of income tax at this time of the year. Thankfully I did a preliminary check of my taxes Christmas Eve, otherwise I may be in for the surprise of my life. I have at least three other people's taxes to tend to so I need to get back on top of that.

Prescription - I have a three month prescription which is lovely. Three months go by slowly enough that I can usually feel it in my bones when it needs to be renewed. Not this time. As I shook out my pill for the day, I was rather surprised to find only a few days left. I got on that one yesterday.

Blood donation - I let that one slip. When I ended up with a minor case of shingles days after my last donation, I immediately called the blood donor clinic and they cancelled the appointment I had booked for February. When I received their follow up call to re-book, I was in mid-renovation. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was to commit a Saturday morning to the task. That still needs to be done.

Dumpster pick up - My son had the ingenious idea to rent a dumpster to handle the outgoing decor of our renovation. He estimated we would need it for two weeks. Add a weekend onto his estimate and he was right on the money. All I had to do was to call for pick up. I finally remembered yesterday. It was lovely to come home last night and see the vacant spot where the dumpster took up residence. It served its purpose very well. We filled it to the brim. We were glad to have it but I was more than glad to see it go.

Furnace cleaning - I have finally booked an appointment for a furnace cleaning which signifies "the end of our renovation mess" is complete (at least the dirty, dusty, messy part). The removal of the dumpster along with our pending furnace cleaning eases my mind. We will be living the good life very soon!

Front door - Now that every door on the main floor has been replaced, our old front door must go. I've spent my renovation budget so this is a hard pill to swallow. But I must. This comes with the benefit of asking my Kitchen Reno Guy (and painter and all-round contractor/fixer upper) if he would like to take on the job. He is coming by this week to start the ball rolling.

We still have half a basement worth of excess I must tend to in some fashion. I'm terribly afraid this could end up like "Mom's room" - the room where memories of Mom and all I received as we divvied up the contents of her house were laid to rest. Everything has now been relocated downstairs but I don't want it abandoned and forgotten.

I need to get back to Marie Kondo and deal with the excesses which are now accumulated downstairs.

I'm almost back to where I was January 1st. Starting anew. Rejuvenated and ready to move forward. But ... I now have the added bonus of having one entire floor under control.

This renovation has given me a new starting point. If only it came with grand finale. The list of things yet to do continues to grow. Thankfully my ambition levels have been rekindled. I need to keep the momentum going. If only in a Marie Kondo fashion, where it is not about the renovation but in the downsizing of what we already have.

I am finding great joy in our minimalized main floor. Now to move that energy downstairs ...

Restoring Order

There was a time when I felt I had everything under control. I had a housekeeping routine, I discarded/donated and culled the excess within our home regularly. I cooked, I cleaned and ran a pretty smooth ship around here. Our home was a calm and relaxing world.

Then came the year "2008". It was a year of great change. It was the year after the breakup of who I thought was my "until death do us part" partner.

The years whirl by me after that point. From a manic state of over-drive, to the assembling family histories, to closing my daycare so I could pursue an education, to a few jobs which were my undoing. Which led to the reopening of my daycare.

My energy level never did recover from that time of great change.

I acted and reacted to life. There was much to do, much to be grateful for but that feeling of having everything within our home manageable and under control was lost.

Fast forward to 2019.

It all started with an easy "yes" to replacing the flooring on our entire main floor. Followed by another easy "yes" to start renovating our kitchen. Then hiring a painter ...

The need to shake up our little world has been just what I needed to find my DESIRE to recreate the order I have been missing within these four walls of ours.

I open drawers and want to empty, cull and organize them. As I emptied the top floor into our basement, it was methodical, well thought out, with the idea that "only that which brings me joy" will come back upstairs again.

Our three upstairs bedrooms which have lost their identity will find themselves again throughout this renovation project.

Only that which brings joy will come back upstairs. Only that which brings joy ...

Restoring order is restoring my joy. That is just how I'm wired. I get a small thrill by opening a drawer where everything has a place, is in its place and is hanging out with other items of a similar nature.

I have been lost but now I'm finding my way back home. It's been a long and winding road since I started losing my way. It feels good to be back!

Building Rome

To renovate or not to renovate ... that is the question.

I was feeling stirred on by Marie Kondo's pep talks on the joy of tidying up. So much so, that I took a very brave step and checked into flooring yesterday.

If it wasn't for the job of emptying out the top floor of our home while the job was done and the knowledge that it would only make good sense to paint everything while the rooms were empty, I think I'd be hopping on this band wagon and simply getting the job done.

It makes a lot of sense to do the job in one fell swoop but the mere idea of it overwhelms me.

So today? I did nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Rome wasn't built in a day. Rome wasn't a renovation project where half the job is emptying "what was" to make room for "what will be". Nor did Rome's construction project have to be fit in after regular working hours.

Two steps back, then one step into a new work week. Sigh ...😩

One Hard Thing Leads to Another

Yesterday had the power to be like every other day which has proceeded it. I could have so very easily have frittered away another afternoon. In fact, as I sit here fighting the waves of exhaustion this morning I am wondering why I felt the need to add "hard things" into my life when things were going so well before. But ...

And there IS a "but" ...

I did all the things a procrastinator does to avoid the job at hand. I did all that. And I still had three uncommitted hours at my disposal. So I started.

I didn't get knee deep in the culling process of ridding myself of the excess. I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to the project of decluttering, disposing and organizing any time this week. So I simply began putting "like things together" so I can deal with them at a later date.

I started collecting all of our linens and bedding together in one closet. I have amassed the collection of income tax papers together in another. I put all my letters to Mom in ONE spot. The onerous task of collecting every book in the house and putting it in one spot was too much to tackle. What I have attempted to do instead, is to begin to create a temporary home for the books so a proper bookcase can be built to store that which remains after all is said and done.

I have emptied one large container in order to fill it up with "everything office related" at a later date. I emptied a dresser. I have collected empty boxes and containers to help sort and organize as I move forward through this process.

I am starting to see the end goal. The REASON I became overwhelmed with the task of going through everything of Mom's that found its way into our home is because I want to create a quiet oasis to read, reflect, sit and wonder within our home. But how do you begin, when that oasis is full to overflowing with "stuff". Important stuff. Mom's stuff ...

As I sorted, organized and physically touched everything that came from Mom's home yesterday, I felt peaceful. The state of feeling overwhelmed was superseded by the sparks of joy as I felt the history of each belonging. I scanned over some of the cards I wrote. I was grateful I said what I said, when I said it. They are worth saving ...

I am emptying "Mom's room" so I can move forward. I have known I wanted a Murphy Bed in that room for years on end. I love having the ability to extend invitations which say "I have three spare bedrooms. Come. Stay. Feel at home here." Yet, I truly want to create a cozy little reading spot within our home. No TV. No cell phones or electronics. Just books. Good light. Perhaps a place to write.

If I build it ...

The Restorative Power of Rest

For every high, there is a low. For every burst of energy, there is a need to recoup, refresh, rest and restart. I am presently "restarting".

When I sat still yesterday, a wave of exhaustion overtook me. I overpowered that sensation and forced myself up off the couch and I headed to the kitchen to "cook" (does frying up hamburger and adding a package of seasoning = cooking?).

The reward of this act of motion in the kitchen was "taco salad". I took my plate and sat myself back down where I had previously wanted to do nothing more than sleep. Instead of sleeping, I ate.

Big mistake.

My son was actually quite pleased to find the aroma and offering of food in the middle of the afternoon. Normally, I would think eating at 3 p.m. would give me permission to skip cooking supper. Except I had already peeled potatoes so I offered to cook a late supper (second mistake?).

My son has just returned from an "all expenses paid" workshop where three meals a day were provided as part of the package. As a result of this, he has returned home with a healthy appetite.  Christmas Day, he turned down the last piece of bacon at breakfast because he wanted to be sure he would be hungry for Christmas dinner. One piece of bacon? Who in the world doesn't have room for one piece of bacon? I believe even Mom (the smallest eater I have ever known) would have leapt at the offer.

Not only did I provide a mid afternoon meal, I went through the motions of cooking a late supper meal as well.

All this time in the kitchen was a great excuse to NOT cross any other item off my mental to-do-list. Plus I was tired. Physically and mentally. I was tired of thinking, planning and doing. I just wanted to rest. Except I felt guilty for resting, so I ATE to stay awake (and I wonder why my new pj bottoms don't fit so well?!).

Fast forward to this morning.

I woke up to a brand new work week. My heart sunk to the bottom of my mattress and made it so hard to put my feet on the floor. I want another Sunday. Sigh...

Then, I flipped open my "Living Juicy" ("daily morsels for your creative soul") book. Week #1 for the new year focused on procrastination. I read the first week's worth of morsels. Closed the book. Then worked at pushing myself out of procrastination mode. This exhausted me. So why should I be surprised that the second week's focus is "napping"?

I wish I would have picked up this book yesterday. I would have fully honored my exhaustion, closed my eyes and rested. Instead I have an achy stomach hangover from eating too much. My son needed the nourishment. Me? Not so much. Nourishment? Maybe. It was all the snacking I squeezed in between the meals that hurt me.

I am not a big fan of the word "napping" but I do believe in its restorative qualities. I am not certain where I could work this time of restoration into my current day work week but as I type the words, I am hearing my answer.

I eat to stay awake. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to add those two facts together and figure out I should honor that exhaustion and rest instead of eat. I get home by 7:30 at night. If I didn't snack, I would be in bed by 8:00. What if I didn't eat, but allowed myself time to close my eyes, relax, restore and plan to get up in an hour. Then, accomplish "one hard thing" before I went to bed at night? What if????

My procrastination excuses are primarily based on a lack of time and energy. What if I created that time by feeding my body "sleep" when it was tired instead of food? What if??

My excuse is that by the time I get home at the end of a long day, my mental fatigue is high. My body is well rested and I am more tired of sitting idle than physically tired. Instead of using my mental exhaustion as an excuse to eat and Netflix my night away, I should find a way to "honor" that without medicating myself with food and sleep.

I have sleepwalked (what IS the past tense of sleep walk?!?) through most of the entire past year by using food, sleep, Netflix and surfing the Internet to dull my thoughts and put my head in a neutral zone so I could keep placing one foot in front of the other.

Food and sleep are my reward for "doing hard things" and making it through a day. I must admit I am as addicted to the reward as I am to the excuse for creating the reward to begin with.

Admitting I have a problem is the first step. I am addicted to my "numbing" activities. I am exhausted.

Rule #1 - rest when you are tired
Rule #2 - eat when you are hungry
Rule #3 - admit I am a "recovering procrastinator"
Rule #4 - do ONE hard thing each day
Rule #5 - gradually increase the number of "hard things"

Yesterday? I cooked. Today? I shall work on one project for one hour AND I will do one more hard thing. Does leaving the house count?

I need to reinstate the goal to do "Six Impossible Things Before Lunch". Changing "lunch" to 8 a.m is my obstacle. Perhaps I need to revise that to "One Impossible Thing (before I go to work)" and "A Second Impossible Thing" (after I come home).

Baby steps. One step at a time. I have SO many vices to overcome and I truly believe the weight of the excess within our home is at the bottom of a lot of what I am battling. Thus, I am starting there.

Yesterday's obstacle? The second category of Marie Kondra's steps to tidying up is: Books. I sat still with my perfectionist mindset yesterday trying to orchestrate a method where I CAN put all of the books together in one room of our home. My obstacle? I want to build these books a home for them to live, which is THE complication which has stopped me in my tracks this entire past year.

I know I should renumber the sequence Marie Kondra suggests. But I also know the power of taking that impossible "first step". I know the energy which will be released the moment I start taking action.

I need a nap ...

Honoring the Day - a lesson on gratitude

These are the words that spoke to me today:

"Take time to do what makes your soul happy"

ProjectHappiness.org

I woke up this morning feeling completely tapped out and exhausted. I have been trying to follow my joy, keep whatever "sparks joy" in my life and as a result I have been feeling joyful most of the first five days of the new year. 

Can I admit that joy exhausts me? At least the process of creating it within my world?

I decided to honor my exhaustion. Instead of cloaking myself in guilt and listening to that nagging voice within my subconscious mind rattle off all the things I SHOULD be doing, I stopped in my tracks. I would not waste energy on guilt. I prefer to utilize the word "honor".

I'm tired.

Who wouldn't be? Okay, don't answer that. A lot of people wouldn't be. Even I wouldn't have been ten years ago. 

Life can feel exhausting. I knew it would be tough jumping back onto the band wagon and getting back to work after my holiday. Even within my already condensed first week back to work, I condensed it even further. This action sparked "guilt". Not a good thing. I will do better. 

What has happened is behind us. It can't be undone. It can be improved upon. One can learn from the past. I can find every excuse in the book to explain why I feel the way I feel. But the past is a done deal. I will honor that too. And move forward.

I have given myself one more hour of "play" time before I sit still and tackle one project I have on the go. I will cook a meal. If all goes well, I will also prepare a little extra food to carry us through the week. Once on a roll, I would like to take another step in the Marie Kondo process of finding joy through tidying up.

This process fits with who I am. I feel riddled with guilt and I'm overwhelmed at the mountain of "stuff" that has amassed within our home. I am stuck in a state of limbo because much of what has accumulated once belonged to Mom.

Marie Kondo says to hold each item individually and keep only that which sparks joy. Gratitude is key. She suggests thanking each item as you let go. I found myself inhaling the life each piece of clothing brought into my world. It was life affirming. There is little that I own that doesn't have a story, a sentimental pull or a useful purpose. It felt entirely natural to thank each item as I let it go. "Thank you!" are two words I utter aloud to myself on a regular basis. I didn't need Marie Kondo to guide me to do this.

I let go of one full hamper of clothes yesterday. It was good. Today? I must take a step back and inhale before I take another step forward.

Yesterday was a perfect day of everything that mattered.

I accomplished one hard thing. I carved out time to do what fuels me. I had a one-on-one visit with each one of my boys. I fed my family. I honored what was important to me. Then I slept (and slept some more).

I no longer feel exhausted. The act of sitting still and honoring the day behind me and allowing myself to take time to do what makes my soul happy is giving me the fuel I need to do one (or more?) more hard thing(s) today. Then I will rest.

Sparking Joy

My head is all over the map this First Friday in this Fresh New Month.

I brought work home with me so I can put in the first few hours of work at home this morning which feels empowering. I have set a start time in my head which I must adhere to in order to make this work. If it works today, perhaps I can make it work another day in the future.

Blurring the line between "work" and "home" is defined by working within my designated work time and mental space. I CAN bring work home and accomplish it if it doesn't interfere with my designated "me time".

Combining work and home feels empowering. Feeling empowered sparks joy.

My Youngest Son is headed home today. He has been gone exactly one week (almost to the hour, as I write this). He has had a most excellent time at the workshop he has attended and I can't wait to hear all about it.

Unfortunately, I will still be at work when he arrives. He has invited friends over tonight so by the time I get home, he will be busy. I will hear the watered down version of his week tomorrow. But just recalling how I can reignite the joy I felt during various recent vacations, I still feel like I will hear the best version as he relives the highlight reel.

My Youngest has lived a very sheltered life. At the ripe old age of 20 years old, he hasn't experienced "life" outside the confines of our bubble wrapped little world here at home very much. I am so glad he got away and experienced how it feels to live a week away from the definition of who he is at home.

I remember how I felt when I stepped away from Mom's ideals and started thinking for myself. By myself. It is a giddy feeling. To think your own thoughts, live your own life, define who you are outside the confines of "home".

My last little bird is taking his first steps outside of our nest. His wings seem to be worthy of taking flight. He sounds happy. He sounds joyful. This sparks "joy" within me.

I sat on my glasses several days ago and bent them in a manner which made me feel rather woozy when I tried wearing them the next day. Long story short, I need new glasses. The kind person who very carefully straightened my present day glasses so I could wear them without feeling nauseous, was the same person who helped me choose my next pair of specs.

It was a small thing but it was huge. A conversation which began by admitting "I hate mirrors" ended up in a merging of kindred thoughts, sparked a conversation about my dancing days (and all the mirrors) and as I walked away from that encounter and into my day, her parting words were of the essence "I'm so glad I got to start off my day with this conversation" (those were not her words at all but it was definitely the essence of what she said).

I drove off to work with thoughts of this conversation and my dancing days wafting through my thoughts. As I parked the car, the theme song of the dance competition I participated in started playing through the radio waves. "Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night" brought me right back to that joy filled time of dance and where it took me.

As this weekend nears (and yes!, I DEFINITELY believe 3 Day Work Weeks are my retirement goal), I am feeling light, energized and eager to start the Marie Kondo process of the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

I have been feeling heavy and overwhelmed for the last long while. It is time to lighten things up and keep only that which sparks joy.

What sparks joy for you? The moment you feel the joyful sensation, I highly recommend stopping in that moment and simply saying "thank you". The more you recognize those moments of joy and acknowledge them, the more you will realize that even within the darkest of days, there are still moments where joy resides (for me yesterday morning, it was when I dropped a container of lotion and it landed right-side-up so there was NO clean up required, with the added bonus of not wasting any lotion!).

It is the little stuff that matters. Little things added up, can take us down to places we do not want to be. Little things added up, can also bring us up to where we need to be. One moment at a time.

Focus on joy. Where do you find it? What do you need to "define" to allow yourself what you need to get through the day?

Small stuff. Look for joy in the mundane. Say thank you. It all adds up ...

Choosing Joy (After my Holiday is Over)

So little time, so many little things I would like to do, to add VALUE to the time I do have at my disposal before I walk out this door and into the world's expectations and demands.

I can't believe I just wrote that sentence after spending eleven of my twelve days off doing absolutely nothing of true value almost all of those days. In my defense, I will say I must have needed that true "down time" otherwise I wouldn't have been able to fritter those days away so effectively.

I am back in the saddle. Back to work. Albeit, yesterday was a condensed day (only 8 hours instead of 9.5) and it will be a short work week (truly, I believe "retirement" to me will equal three day work weeks!).

The sore neck I struggled to get rid of during my holidays has returned. I woke up in the middle of the night with my neck bothering me, after finally succeeding in ridding myself of sore-neck-syndrome about four to five days into my holiday (after getting yet another new pillow). AND after what I truly believe happened ... I relaxed.

My early morning thoughts this morning were:

"RECOGNIZING ... it is harder to set my own intention, when I am at the whim of other people's intentions for 9 to 10 hours of my day. This is an OBSTACLE ... not an excuse! It is still my responsibility to "own" my own time. Learn to VALUE (not simply waste) the time I have."

This is easier said than done. I am eight hours back into my work week after twelve complete and total days off. I felt my bosses' tension slip into every ounce of my being the moment she stepped into the room. I can't embody her stress. It hurts too much. I need to manage this within myself more effectively. As I said, easier said than done.

I thought these thoughts, wrote them down and found some "Marie Kondo" videos on YouTube. I can tell by the way I feel after watching these lessons and illustrations of "The life changing magic of tidying up", that this is where I need to begin.

Maybe once I get my own living space in order, I can take what I have learned and incorporate it into the office I work in. THIS is one of my hugest obstacles.

How does one declutter someone else's personal work space? I have quite literally taken a large piece of white paper and placed it over the clutter so I can define my own "white space".

How does a person tackle such a large undertaking when there are not enough hours in the day to tend to the daily/weekly/monthly/quarterly/yearly demands of the job, let alone finding time to create order?

Are these valid reasons? Or just more excuses?

These are the things I did not miss while I was away. While my need to simplify, declutter, organize and purge starts at home, I know it has some long reaching effects which may help with the return of my Stress Neck.

P.S. I just googled "stress neck" and there is no such thing. It is written that it is unlikely that stress CAUSES neck pain but it can bring about the symptoms of underlying neck pain. 

Well holidays, it was nice knowing you. Sad to say, that eight hours in, you are ALMOST all but forgotten.

No more excuses. It is time to pull up my socks and do what I can to make the most of this life I have been given. This job that intensifies the stress in my neck is necessary to my well being. It is up to ME to find a way to work through and beyond the discomfort.

After all, it is the Marie Kondo way. "It is about choosing joy".