The Shortest Day and the Brightest Star

Today marks the shortest day of, what many may consider, the longest year. To mark the occasion, Jupiter and Saturn will appear "as one" in the night sky. [I have read to look into the sky, toward the southwest about a half hour after sun set]

I find comfort in looking upwards on any given day but this day sounds momentous. It is said this event will not occur until May, 2080 and the last time it took place was about 400 years ago.

For this to happen so close to Christmas Day during a year of global upheaval seems almost ... biblical.

As we officially mark the beginning of winter on the darkest day of a particularly dark year, our days will now start to get longer. 

There is hope on the horizon. Winter is always followed by spring. A vaccination is on its way. It is always darkest before dawn.

There are untold amounts of people who have been tragically affected by the virus we call COVID-19 ... let there be light. Please. Let there be lightness that follows the heaviness of events past. 

It's a Wonderful Life

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning and decided to utilize my wakefulness to go to the bathroom and do a quick check to see if a rabbit (or three) was in our front yard. The moment my feet hit the floor, I thought "I LOVE my life!"

Pure, uncensored words from my heart and soul came to my mind. I love my life. I am not only grateful for the simple life I live but for the appreciation I have for it. 

I long for nothing. Not a thing. I am thankful I can fill our cupboards, fill my gas tank, live in a home that is not only safe, warm and comfortable, it feels like a warm embrace to live within these four walls of ours.

I started "loving my walls" decades and decades ago. It all started in 1979...

My one year old son and I moved into our new home. It was a subsidized townhouse condominium which  was everything I could have ever hoped for. A brand new affordable home and a brand new life. Our future felt bright. 

I was young, starry eyed and in love. "I love our walls!!", I vividly remember thinking.

We lived under that roof until 1987. There were many tumultuous years as my on again, off again marriage lived out stories within those very walls. If those walls could talk, I wouldn't want to hear what they had to say. 

It was a blessing in disguise when my husband refused to leave. I didn't even fight. I simply packed up our children and drove away. I didn't want to live within those walls any longer.

We moved to a new city, new province and a new townhouse which immediately replicated the safe, comfortable and warm embrace our prior home provided. I remember settling in to our new lives, feeling a sense of serenity I hadn't felt in a long time and thinking the words, "I love our walls!" We were home again.

Our final and current home was one that simply called out to me and begged us to move in. It was love at first sight and I couldn't hide the fact from the seller. The price was firm and I didn't care. I knew this house was destined to be our home.

These walls have a few stories to tell. I have fought to maintain the serenity I found within our home. There have been numerous occasions when I found myself once again thinking, "I love our walls!!"

Loving our "walls" had little to nothing to do with the condition of our home. These walls represent everything that is important to me. Safety, security, comfort, warmth and serenity. Everything I aspire to feel deep within myself. Loving our walls has everything to do with loving my life.

I hear the echo of discontent in so many I talk with. For any and every number of reasons, there is unease, worry, heartache, loss, fear and a general feeling of weariness. 

I wish I could bottle up my inner sense of contentment and gift it to those who are lacking what I have in abundance. If I could wave my magic wand and wish you anything, my wish for you would be to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and have the words, "I love my life!" spring directly from your subconsciousness to the fore front of your mind.

It's a wonderful life I am living. Please come on over and I'll share it with you.

Time Well Spent

A subconscious thought planted in my mind Monday morning may or may not have made the difference to the way I have approached this week.

Perhaps I have been more productive because the groundwork had already been laid. The tedious, hardest part of a job was done so when I had to "wrap it up", it didn't take long. I had time left over to tackle another quarterly job. Again, because I was already caught up on the prelimary work, it was not hard to complete the task set out before me.

I tend to believe I spend a lot of time "spinning my wheels" within this home office of mine. I may be wrong about that.

Time spent organizing and finding a place for everything and everything in its place means I don't lose time searching for things. I do NOT have a filing box. I simply put things where they belong so I don't have to waste time looking. It takes less than a minute to file a paper in its proper spot. Those are seconds well spent.

Jobs in progress have been laid out on my working table. Even though it looks like a bit of a disaster zone, there is a place for everything and everything in its place. When I needed to find the answers to questions, it took but a moment to find what I was looking for. I may (or may not) have dazzled my boss by putting my finger on the answers so effectively.  

I procrastinated all weekend. I admonished myself for not working on "the big job" that has been haunting me for longer than I care to admit. I lost a night of sleep over this job but I refused to get up at 2 a.m. and work on it because there is a time and a place for working. The middle of the night is NOT that time. 

The following day was Friday. Due to the fact that work had me tossing and turning all night, I did NOT have any desire to work the next morning. I went into the office. I started. I was easily distracted. When unexpected guests arrived, I welcomed them and the excuse to put off working. "I'll work tomorrow instead," I told myself. I lied.

I didn't work Saturday. I opened the office door Sunday in an attempt to entice myself into the work zone on my day off. But I didn't enter. What I DID do, was subconsciously map out my plan of attack. I knew what had to be done and how I was going to tackle it. Monday morning, I was armed and dangerous.

I've been ticking off boxes of things-that-need-to-get-done quickly and efficiently this week. I even tackled an off-site job yesterday and it went so much better than anticipated. 

My motivation to "clear the deck" of all the hard things this week has served me well. I still have several 95% complete jobs sitting out in my work space, with only two days left to tie up the loose ends.

There is no end to the work which is piling up behind this current state of completed-ness. It was starting to pile up before this week of productivity. My clear work space will be filled with more work and challenges ahead. 

I have spent a lot of time belittling myself for not working as efficiently as I expect of myself. I have not given myself credit for time spent doing the work that doesn't show in preparation for the big jobs that overwhelm me. 

As I write this, looking back in my rear view mirror, I am seeing a parallel between my bookkeeping work and a home renovation. Renovations begin with an idea. A spark. A plan. This could take years to formulate, depending upon the scale of work. Once the plan is set in action, there is SO much work to be done before any new work begins. Demolition, removing "what is", preparing the work area for "what is to come", the dirty unappreciated work that is beneath the surface. Preparation feels like 90% of the job. Then comes the renovation itself. Every step along the way is laid out in preparation for the steps to follow (and there are many). Renovations feel endless. 

A successful renovation begins with preparation. Time invested in planning, mapping out a strategic course of action and getting the hard, dirty work behind you is time well spent. By the time you reach the 95% mark, there is still work to be done. 

I'm at the 95% mark now. I'm in the home stretch. I feel like a marathon runner who is getting that last surge of energy to make it to the finish line. I'm almost there ...

The hardest part was beginning. Starting is often the hardest part. But don't forget to give yourself credit for time spent in the preparation phases. The pauses in life are sometimes exactly what we need. 

Armed and Ready to Go

I am fueled with a most excellent weekend in the books and motivated by upcoming days off to make the most of the next five working days. This feels like a recipe for success.

I didn't do anything important this past weekend. The pile of paperwork I have been working on was ignored. Entirely and completely. I did vacuum the cat hair off the lids of said containers. But that is all.

My sisters showed up for a socially distant deck-visit yesterday. I don't even know what we talked about. A little bit of everything. The gift was in their presence. They were here. We were all together. And it was good.

I did not accomplish ONE extra task this past weekend. I did not even succeed at cooking ONE meal. And it's okay. The work will be done. Sooner or later.

But in the meantime, I have a busy agenda. The plan is to make the most of the next five days ahead so I can make the most of the free time which is to follow.

Motivation is something I am working on. I am disappointed in myself. I am setting a very poor example for my youngest son still living at home.

As I marvelled at my middle son's ambition, motivation and accomplishments I sighed, "I used to be more like you ..." His response was, "Where do you think I got this from? I remember ..."

I did this once. I can do it again. One hard thing at a time. Just get 'er done! 

"Six impossible things before lunch" - this is a quote that goes back to the beginning of my blog. Getting the "hard things" done and out of the way before lunch is key.

Everything I need to know, I have already written. From this point onward, perhaps I should stop writing and just start reading.

Here is a little piece of "wisdom" I wrote back when I was younger, wiser and much more motivated: 

TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, 2008

Six Impossible Things Before Lunch

I once went to a very inspirational hair dresser who was full of thought provoking ideas. She told me of a client that she had, who had the motto to do ''Six Impossible Things Before Lunch". Depending on your day, some of those things may be as small as getting out of bed, having a shower and having breakfast. But the important thing was to do ''Six Impossible Things" in the morning.

Well, as I looked at the phone calls I had to make today as well as a "sick" computer (I'm still ending up causing havoc in people's inboxes with my emails). I felt overwhelmed at the tasks before me.

I made one phone call. I told myself that it is so much easier to call in the morning. By the end of the day I'm running out of gusto and the thought of picking up the phone and dialing it feels overwhelming a lot of the time.

One phone call led to the next and the next and the next. I have set up a time and place to meet up with a few more of my aunts (and invited a cousin along for the ride as well) for my next fact-finding mission for this history book.

I felt like I could conquer the world after I did "Four Impossible Things" (four phone calls). Wow!! Getting the tough part of your day over with first thing in the morning is definitely a way to jump start your day!!! (I should really start exercising again. One more impossible thing).

After that, I was actually eager to tackle the computer problems. I contacted my the tech-support department of the antivirus program I have and ran scans in the 'safe mode' as they suggested. We'll see if that works.

I wonder what six impossible things I shall tackle tomorrow???

Sunday Morning Rabbit Watching

Bliss

I replenished our rabbit food supply and waited.

It didn't take long. I put the rabbit food out Friday night. As soon as I woke up Saturday morning, I checked. I was not disappointed. One lone rabbit was nibbling at the fresh supply of rabbit food under our fir tree.

No such luck Sunday morning but we have time.

My two favorite rabbit-spotters are on patrol. We shall watch and wait. I'm certain we will not be disappointed.

Family Ties

It is really quite amazing what a little dose of companionship can provide. Yesterday was seasoned with a little dose of family on a day I was feeling a little off.  

There was really nothing terribly wrong but when my son drove up and showed up on the doorstep I think my heart did a little happy dance.

I had an excessive amount of word-build-up accumulating within and putting a voice to what I was feeling was the release valve I needed. I hope the feeling was reciprocated ...

Then I heard from a few of my cousins.

Family. A family I would have never got to know if I had not lived life exactly the way I lived it. 

Accumulating family memories connected me with my extended family in a way I could have never imagined. I have come to know some of my uncles and aunts in an up close and personal way. Every connection is a gift. Re-unioning and reconnecting has left the door ajar for little impromptu check-ins. 

So many little things have led me to exactly where I am. I fully believe with all my heart I am exactly where I am meant to be. Right in the heart of family, my roots and "home" in every sense of the word.

The Day the Well Ran Dry

The well didn't exactly run dry but it felt as if we ran out of almost anything I touched.

The end of a toilet paper roll, the last of the frozen orange juice, the last cup of coffee, the end of cat litter deodorizer ... and the day had just begun.

Of all the things I emptied, I had a back up supply to replenish the stock. 

I had been watching my pennies very carefully and knew "today" was the day I could resume spending. I had reached the limit I could repay in full on my credit card so I just needed to get to today until I could start spending again.

The last time I ran our grocery supply so close to the wire was COVID-Friday. 

It was the day COVID became real in our world and I had let our supplies run low because I was playing the game of "no spending allowed until the credit card cut off date". By the time I made it to the store that fateful day in 2020, the stock on the shelves was depleted to a scary all time low.

As I lived that moment of déjà vu, I felt a small amount of angst but forged on with the morning.

I ordered our groceries online and picked them up without the world as I know it ending. Other than the cat litter deodorizer being out of stock for the second time in a row, all of our reserves were brought back to their usual levels and life will go on.

"This" is the very reason I like to have one extra of everything we use regularly on hand at all times. One never knows when the well may run dry and refilling those reserves may not be as easy as it always has been.

I guess this is why they suggest we should have between three to six months of worth of basic living expenses available in case of emergency. If I have so much trouble making it to my next credit card statement cut off date, you can imagine how my emergency savings fund must look.

One never knows when life-as-we-know-it could change on a dime. We have very little control over the vast majority of all that could happen. Perhaps this is why I have always had a budget. I need to feel in control of something within this out of control world.