New Month, New Rules

I woke up this morning to another day. Another week. Another month. And ... I did not appreciate it for the gift that it was.

I am loving isolation, social distancing and staying home. Loving it. But it is not loving me back.

I have become a shell of a human being. I wake up. I go through the motions. I reward myself with reruns of my favorite TV-series-of-the-moment and snacks. I sleep. Rinse and repeat. Day after day. Weekends are less of the above.

My socialization skills are deteriorating. My keeping-in-touch gene has been deactivated. I have nothing new to talk about, think about, write about so I have less desire to talk/think/write.

Things are not spiraling in a positive direction.

So when I finally peeled myself out of bed this morning, I made a cup of coffee and retreated to my "morning pages".

I basically wrote "What am I going to do different? This week? Today? This morning? This hour? Now?" I should have written these questions sooner because there is a subconscious connection between my fingertips and my heart of hearts. I know my answers. But if I don't write, I don't tend to hear them.

This is what my heart and soul told my brain and eyes:

I have an outline. It is easy to follow. And the best part? I've already crossed two things off my to-do-list for today.

How are you doing? I know the world is opening up a little bit but I'm still fearful to step outside the comfort zone of my little isolated world. How about you?

"We can do hard things" is Glennon Doyle's mantra. Yep. The hard things I can do. It is the easy stuff that trips me up every time.

Here I go again. Rinse and repeat. I've been here before. The evidence is within this blog space. I've searched my own blog enough times to hear the echo of the past in today.