Tending to My Roots

I don't know what the formula is but waking up to a Monday morning in my little oasis away from home fills me up with words, the desire and time to write. What is the secret to this little pocket of time I have found?

My weekends are spent tending to life-in-my-oasis. There may or may not be a lot of human interaction. Either way, I wake up to a new week with an inner peace, energy and pep in my step.

Monday to Friday obligations deplete me. Expectations of myself, job requirements and housework that feels endless due to the (seemingly) infinite amount of cat hair in our midst. I love our cats ... I just wish someone else tended to the cat hair. It is no wonder robot vacuums were invented. I'd bet a quarter that the person who invented these vacuum cleaners owned a pet.

Back to the point now ...

Here in my little oasis, I tend to have a loosely based schedule. I know I will get dirty one day. Mowing our "lawn" is like stirring up a dust bowl. While already dirty, I tend to find something else to accomplish before I clean up for what remains of the day. Cooking will happen. I have the time, desire and energy to actually cook while I am here. Then I have food/meals to bring back with me, when I re-enter my regularly scheduled life where I don't make time for cooking.

It is a very family oriented time when I am in my home away from home. Sister-time; time to just enjoy the company of my adult children if/when they come to call; a few cousins; an aunt/uncle duo; the occasional sibling gathering; and a recent birthday celebration for my uncle was held one block away from my little weekend oasis.

My weekends are time to tend to my roots. My essential essence of who-I-am is here and I love nurturing that part of myself. 

Where do you replenish yourself? One doesn't have to go far to find what feeds one's soul. When I live my city-life, I find my peace within the walls I call home and right in my own back yard. Walks and time spent simply watching, listening and waiting for little moments Mother Nature has up her sleeve. 

Find a way to tend to your root system. Bloom where you are planted. Stop, look, listen to your world. Search for your peace wherever you may find it.

P.S. I'll bet you thought this post would be about coloring my hair. Nope. That ship has sailed. I'm all natural now and my hair is the color it was meant to be. 

Let the Dominoes Fall Where They May

July 21/22 7:28 a.m.:

One week ago, I wrote the post "Come Walk With Me". I wrote about my decision to take the better of two options as I navigated my early morning. This morning I chose the alternate options.

I woke up early and was eager to jump into the day so I skipped my morning stretches. Bad news: the effects of stretching are immediate. I was much less limber as I moved about and got dressed. Good news: the effects of stretching are immediate. Tomorrow morning, when I DO decide to take the time to stretch, I'll be right back where I was yesterday.

I opted to skip my walk in lieu of jump-starting my podcast/puzzle time with my morning smoothie. No nature stories to divert my attention and get out of my head a little. Straight to the business of puzzling and listening to other people's words before I listened to my own. I missed that space to just "be". 

I have a list of household tasks to accomplish today. Windows, vacuuming, washing floors, de-cat-hairing, a side order of dusting and an errand to run. I have bookkeeping work to tend but hope I can accomplish my home-work tasks while still keeping on my top of work-from-home agenda.

House work. Work from home. It is truly no wonder why I love my little weekend oasis away from home where it feels like real life doesn't exist for a few days.

I wrote these words, walked away and tended to (almost) all of the above.

And it was good. The energy I spend procrastinating is so much better invested just DOING one thing I want to get done.

Once I start something, provided I am not distracted by something that jumps the line, the domino effect of one thing leading to the next, the next, another and yet another little task is how I manage to accomplish what-must-be-done.

I crossed a lot of hard things off my list that particular day. I had one distraction I was able to easily tend to (something that has the ability to completely derail my intentions), but I got back on track. 

It was so much easier to wake up the next morning knowing I had accomplished what I had set out to do. It was easier to WAKE up, not so easy to GET up. Those stretches I neglected before I got out of bed? When my achy body woke me up in the middle of the night, instead of reaching for pain relief in the form of a pill, I did my stretches without leaving the bed. It was all I needed to get back to sleep and live to wake up and stretch another day.

Ahhh! Sometimes those ahhh-some moments find their way into your day in the most unexpected ways. Accomplishing something you have been putting off? Ahhh-some! Finding relief through stretching verses a pain reliever? Ahhhhh. Waking up the next morning with vim and vigor to tend to the few items left on that list? Ahhh! Then tackling your day job with that same vitality and tending to one more of those tasks that have been put on the do-another-day list? Ahhh [said with a huge sigh of relief]!!

What small action can you do today to bring a little bit of that Ahhh-someness into the moment? It doesn't have to be a big thing. Sometimes simply getting out of bed and getting dressed is a feat unto itself. Other times? ONE small step can lead to another and you may amaze yourself. If not today, another day. Let ONE domino fall and see where it takes you.

I Hate My Hair!

I woke up to a new-haircut-hangover recently. I could write a post about my hair but I'll spare you the details. The uncertainty of life-as-I-know-it has been bubbling over lately and I needed a release valve.

I was angered over every little thing that particular morning. Everything felt hard. I had no patience, coping skills were lost and I just wanted to be angry. So I picked on my hair.

I am feeling impatient as I want to fast forward through the next few years so I can be where I hope to be. 

I am feeling anxious about my ability to support myself for the rest of my days.

I am feeling frustrated about things that are out of my control.

I am feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of my Monday to Friday life.

I am doing my best but I am not at my best.

But, as it was with my recent haircut, I will do the best with what has already been done and time will take care of the rest.

Come Walk With Me

I slept in this morning and immediately ran through my options as to how to make up for my lost half hour.

I could skip my stretches. No. I will at least do one out of three sets. No. I did all three sets of stretches.

I could skip my walk. No. I will at least go for a quick walk.

I left the house with speed on my mind and I was almost oblivious to simply noticing the world around me. 

Until ... I thought I spotted a few rabbits from afar so I went out of my way to see what the two lumps of brownness were in the distance. As I neared the suspicious "rocks", I zoomed in my camera lens. With my bare eye, one of them looked like a tree stump until I saw the view through the camera.

I'm glad I snapped the photo when I did because these were a skittish pair and were ready to dart as soon as I made my way closer.

My mission was to at least do a quick walk-by of my new favorite nature watching spot. It rained last night so the birds appeared to be feasting on whatever bugs had to surface due to their flooded underground tunnels. There were eight pigeons (?) enjoying their breakfast meal.

I had tried to describe this man made water feature to my aunt yesterday and my words weren't enough for her to get a good picture in her mind as to what I was talking about. So I took this picture from the school playground. There are two schools sharing a very large school yard, each school has a large playground, tarmac and a large field to encompass all school related activities. What lies beyond the line of trees in the distance is a fenced off storm water retention pond which has attracted a few different varieties of birds which has caught my attention:

From the walking path, this is what you see:

As I circled around, to get a full view, this is the water feature from another angle. City surrounds it but it is just pretty (in my eyes):

There was only one pelican this morning. I don't know if I was too late and the other two flew off before I arrived or if they were simply in hiding. But I was glad I had one pelican spotting:

As I headed towards home, I turned back and took one final shot. The cloud cover in the sky was evolving throughout the series of pictures. I just found the sight peaceful.

I was on my last lap home when I saw a rabbit run across the street. One final rabbit sighting while home was in sight. 

Rabbits were the first and the last thing I saw on this morning's walk. A perfect little "sandwich" on a morning stroll I could have just as easily talked myself out of.

It was time to come home.

Air Show

When heading out for my walk this morning, I went directly towards the storm water oasis I have recently rediscovered. It did not disappoint.

Three pelicans were still swimming and I noticed one of them scooping up and swallowing something to eat while I was watching. 

The red winged blackbirds were the background accompaniment and continued to interact with at least one pelican when in a certain area of the pond. Are the pelicans swimming in their turf when these exchanges happen? The pelican nips at the bird in flight and they don't appear to be aggressive in their actions. But what do I really know? I'm just a quiet observer.

As I was circling the pond, looking for a better vantage point to watch the wildlife attracted to the water a large bird swooped high overhead. I was curious, as I believe it was the same unknown bird I spotted yesterday.

It flew off to a far away light post when I approached the pond but after some time passed, this same bird flew around and around the pond. I felt pretty fortunate and immediately wondered if this "bird of prey" (that was all this amateur birdwatcher could distinguish) was putting on a show just for me.

Wistful thoughts of Mom's comments on eagles and how she would love to soar like an eagle made me think of her and I wanted to believe her presence was close by. 

I desperately tried capturing the flight on video but nothing beats the naked eye to watch and marvel at a soaring bird.

My personal air show went on for quite some time and I was so glad I showed up to witness this special event that I was starting to believe was "just for me".

Then, the bird swooped into the pond and just as quickly flew off with a fish in its talons. It was heading north when I last spotted it. The air show wasn't for me. The hunting bird was gathering its breakfast meal.

The birds are watching me just as much as I'm watching them. This particular bird of prey perched atop a lamp post far away from where it was when I first spotted it. It is my guess that when it felt I wasn't a threat, that it came back to concentrate on its fishing expedition.

Ahhh. The moments I find when I'm close to home instill my personal belief that there is no place like home.

Breaking Patterns

Breaking a pattern can be as simple as changing ONE thing that sets you down a familiar path. This is sometimes exactly what one wants but is not always what is best.

I went for a walk bright and early this morning. I had a familiar, calming destination in mind. When I first set out, my thoughts were much of the same old, same old thoughts I've been recycling, reusing and ruminating on the past while. 

As I walked, I heard the pouty little voice inside my thoughts say, "There aren't any rabbits". A more hopeful side of that same voice reminded myself, "Maybe they are having their second batch of babies and the moms are in hiding". Then I tuned into my surroundings as I continued on my way and spotted one, then another rabbit. "There they are! You just have to keep walking and being mindful" the more level headed side of myself said.

I found myself at my favorite city watering hole (a man made storm water pond) which brings me back to earth and calmness envelopes me.

There were three pelicans swimming around. A duck flew in for a swim. Another large bird flew overhead (but didn't land) which reminded me of a Canada goose but it was some other bird. There were a red winged blackbirds singing their hearts out and interacting with one of the pelicans. 

                                         

I stood and marveled at the sight before me for at least fifteen minutes. Watching. Listening. Taking pictures and videos to capture the sights and sounds. It was heavenly. I thought of nothing but the moment I was in.

As I was leaving the area, I spotted a rabbit. Then a second one. The rabbits are still around. One just needs to be in a place where they like to hang out. 

As I made my way home, I reminded myself that sometimes what we are looking for is as close as our own backyard or neighborhood. If one can't find peace within themselves at home, it may be a futile effort to go seeking it elsewhere.

My thoughts were familiar yet brought back to life as I walked this morning. I came home feeling revived and refreshed.

Then what did I do? I settled right into my familiar routine. I made my breakfast smoothie, tuned into my favorite podcast, did my puzzles, signed into my work computer ... and the spell was broken. Poof! Back to real life. Back to the books.

Change ONE thing upon returning home. Grab a cup of coffee and sit in my own back yard. Grab something to write with and just let the thoughts flow out of my head and onto the page. Take time to pause before taking a dive into the deep end of life.

Work. Life. Responsibilities. They are unavoidable. I believe they are best managed if we take care of our soul a little first and foremost. 

Break ONE pattern. Allow yourself to immerse yourself in a moment. I highly recommend nature, even if only to stop and gaze out the window and see what appears if you watch long enough. The process may not work miracles but it just may reroute your thoughts into your inner wisdom, hopefulness and a renewed perspective before the realities of the day must be met.

Don't Overthink It!

It was a small thing. But it worked out so well I must write it down before I forget to remind myself of the lesson learned: Don't overthink it!!

I was having the laziest of lazy days. I had prepared food in the fridge and there was absolutely no need for me to cook anything for supper. Suddenly, I popped up and decided to throw some baby potatoes and chicken in the oven. Just as quickly, I sent off a supper invitation.

I cleaned up and suddenly wanted to send a P.S. to my invitation. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound so desperate. Just come if you want"; "No need to say yes" and a myriad of other explanations for my spur of the moment invitation.

I didn't receive a reply instantly which allowed me to doubt myself even more. Oh well. I'll have good leftovers for tomorrow. It's all good.

Then came the reply. My invitation was not only accepted but it was very well timed as there was no supper on their agenda. 

I threw together a last minute salad, seasoned with anticipation of company and just a real good feeling about how a quickly thrown together meal fit so perfectly into the day.

The meal tasted ... good! Everything tastes better when shared with a friend (or family). A quick spur of the moment action resulted in exactly everything I could have ever hoped for. And more.

I could have so very easily talked myself out of all of the above. What a wonderful way to wind up a weekend. Not overthinking. Just doing. I highly recommend it!

Time to Begin Again

I fell off the wagon. Living an intentional life sounded so attainable. True to myself. Perfect for me. But it was harder than I thought. 

I coasted for a week. Coasted in every way possible. One would think that would refuel me in much needed ways. One would be wrong.

I have been socializing more than usual. "Peopling" wears me out. Being attuned to nature where all I have to do is show up, watch, listen and appreciate what is set before me is what fills me up when I am running on empty. 

There is nothing hard about tuning into one's surroundings, looking outside the window, stepping onto the back doorstep and breathing in the day. Yet I have not succeeded in that one small thing.

It is a new day, a new week, a fresh new start. It is time to try, try again. Forgive myself for slipping and get back on the wagon.

Forgive myself and take the next step forward. Rinse and repeat. Words we could all live by?

Body Heal Thyself

The longer I live, the less I take this body for granted. The more often I hear of those whose body has started faltering and not working the way it used to, the more often I recognize and silently thank my body for simply doing what it has always done when it heals or recovers.

I once took an anatomy class and learned how each of our body organs has a purpose and if one organ is in jeopardy, the body automatically does what it can do to protect the major organs or take what it needs from other body functions to take care of what is in need. Hypothermia, burns, pregnancy all come to mind as I type those words. 

The more I learned about anatomy and how one organ failing could trigger a chain reaction that could either save a life or end it, I felt it was nothing short of a miracle when I awoke the next morning and everything worked as expected.

Growing older is something we all must adapt to one way or another. I find myself surrounded by people late in life (the result of finding myself later in life than I used to be) and I am accumulating a small wish list of what I hope for as the years unfold. Sometimes our state of mind can influence the state of aging but there is only so much we can control.

My sisters recall Dad commenting that with a heart attack (which he was genetically inclined to have), you go fast. Not like cancer where one could linger on. Sounds black and white. Until one has a major heart attack and is brought back from the brink of death without oxygen to the brain for longer than the brain can recover from. No one saw that coming.

Life is like that. We cannot become consumed in all of the ifs, ands and maybes. We can only deal with what we have and live our days as best as we can. When we wake up ready to face the day in manner we have become accustomed to, we are beyond fortunate. I am grateful for what I have. But I am equally sorrowful for those who are fighting to regain their equilibrium. 

Body heal thyself. It is but a small wish I wish for you. Today and all days.

Best Under Pressure

I stepped into June knowing it would be a tough month. I had a job to do and there was no option. It had to be done. And it was.

As busy as I knew the month would be, I added more to my personal to-do-list than I have done in a very long time. I got up early so I had time to walk, do my puzzles, write and tend to a few things around the house before I opened the door to my work-from-home day job. I went to my second job after that. Then wound up the day early, satisfied with what I had accomplished in the day.

Then all deadlines were met. And I crashed.

I have taken up sleeping in and all but given up walking. After a long, hard month at my work-from-home-job with no holiday in sight, I deemed this week a "mental holiday" break. I have done what must be done. I am home and available to take all calls and manage whatever work may come my way. But I'm resting my mental muscle and coasting.

It feels like the perfect holiday. 

Except the minute I don't have (what feels like) a million things to do, the smallest of jobs I normally squeeze into my regularly scheduled life feel onerous. 

There is a saying that goes something to the effect of "If you need something done, ask a busy person."

How true it is. Last month? I was conquering my world. This month is officially one week old and I am barely managing my world.

It is a hard truth but I do believe I am grateful for the deadlines within my life. They push me where I need to be and help me become the person I am capable of becoming.

Who knew?

Magic and Miracles

I often marvel at the magical and rather miraculous little life I live.

It is a simple life measured by small regularly occurring miracles such as good health, living in a safe/comfortable/affordable home (and country) which houses all of my needs/wants/desires. 

I have the ability to provide for myself and be self reliant. 

I am beyond grateful for the supportive community of family and friends.

I am content and at peace with where I am, who I am and where I think I'm headed.

I live in a magical fairy tale land where I create stories and happy endings to put the story-teller part of my mind at rest.

It is a wonderful little life I am living.

Then? I looked at the household products I reached for this morning:

MAGIC Eraser

MIRACLE Cloth

Can this stuff be bought? Maybe.

Whatever little things it takes to add a dash of magic and small miracles to your day, may you find just a few little magical moments as you navigate throughout the hard day in front of you.

May the force be with you!

Back in the Saddle Again

I woke up to a bird choir singing outside my window and the soothing sound of a distant train whistle when my eyes popped open at 5:00 this morning. My chosen wake-up time. My favorite sounds. Ahhhh.

It has been a chaotic time for my tired brain. Bookkeeping deadlines, tending to my aunt's housekeeping/grocery/misc needs in four days instead of five, then my own household requirements (no time for groceries there), packing what I wanted to take to my weekend oasis and heading out there in time to mow the half acre of  "lawn" (I am exaggerating the square footage but that is what it feels like when I'm mowing and use the word lawn hesitantly as the grass is sparse, I over-sprayed for weeds and killed off a fair bit and our regular rains didn't water what was left of the grass so I kicked up a LOT of dust as I mowed) before the weekend began. 

I was already prepared for company but got a side order of distraction when the fridge at my little oasis quit working. High socialization requirements for the weekend were met &/or exceeded (I'm not bragging. My expectations of myself were not high). I glided through the weekend with a dysfunctional fridge in the background of my thoughts with the mantra "There is nothing I can do about it so there is no sense worrying about it" on repeat. 

Do your best. Surround yourself with siblings and their spouses. Toss in a sister to mastermind the catering (again). Add a little family reunion. Season with a drop-by-visit with a cousin new to the neighborhood. That is my personal recipe for the most perfect unperfect weekend of the year.

After the dust settled (literally, as I think of our dusty lawn), I was left alone in my little oasis. I settled in with a few troubleshooting suggestions from www.familyhandyman.com and [drum roll please] the fridge is working again. At least this morning (Dr FamilyHandyman suggests there is a problem with the defrost heater/timer/or thermostat). 

I woke up at my favorite waking time, did my stretches (I have done neither since my string of late nights began five days ago as I struggled to meet my bookkeeping deadlines then late nights became the norm thereafter) had some cold water from the presently functioning fridge and finally felt the long awaited ahhhh-some moment I have come to know and love.

As I navigated my late nights, knowing that much socialization would be on the agenda, I slept in each morning knowing there would be more late nights on the horizon. My sleep schedule was navigated with ease as the extra waking hours at night were offset by a few more sleeping hours in the morning (I'm not bragging. I am eternally grateful for my sleeping superpowers). To wake up on a Monday morning with a spring in my step and actually anticipating the return of my regularly scheduled life is a gift I did not expect as I anticipated the weekend past.

I don't wake up every Monday morning feeling this way. It is the return to my satisfying quiet little life that is key. The fact that all the looming deadlines at my day job were met last week. Waking up to a day of high expectations is an exhausting way to greet the day.

You know you are living the life you are intended to live when you wake up, after a good nights sleep, on a Monday morning AND you are grateful to hop back on that horse and be back in the saddle again.

It is Never So Bad ....

It was a day of numerous small things gone awry with an equal an opposite opportunity to be grateful with every wrong turn.

1 - the fridge wasn't working. But the freezer WAS.

2 - I didn't find out the fridge wasn't working until the light of day. Thus, I didn't spend a night tossing and turning and fretting about "tomorrow".

3 - I forgot to buy necessary ingredients for my dessert and salad. The delay was a blessing, otherwise they would have spoiled in my malfunctioning fridge.

4 - No fridge? No problem. My sister saved the day and lent me an electric cooler for the weekend to buy me some time before a repair person could be called.

5 - I tripped and fell up a cement step. But I didn't rip a hole in my capris, NOR did I spill my drink or break the glass.

6 - when I tripped, I fell backwards a bit and threw a portion of my drink in my own face. But not a soul noticed my dampened hair AND it didn't wreck my hair style.

I walked into the weekend feeling overloaded and any one of the above could have tipped the scales and ruined the day if I hadn't immediately found the silver lining.

 It is said "Things are never so bad that they couldn't be worse". We are fortunate when there is  some good on the flip side of those little things that can bring a person to their knees. 

I know my misfortunes were minor in every sense of the word but I am grateful for the reminder to look beyond the inconvenience and practice picking myself up and carrying on. It is a skill best honed on the little stuff to help us find our way when the going gets tough.

Thankful for the Pause

I had no words at the end of a very long, short week. I had accomplished almost everything on my to-do-list. But due to bad planning on my part, I couldn't complete my mission. I had to wait until morning.

This morning, I went to get a nice cold drink of water from the fridge and the water wasn't cold. The refrigerator part of our fridge wasn't working.

If I had remembered to buy radishes and green peppers when I picked up groceries, I would have assembled my potato salad last night. An unrefrigerated potato salad is the perfect recipe for food poisoning. My work would have been completely and utterly wasted. 

As overwhelmed and frustrated as I felt last night, a wave of relief washed over me when I realized my good fortune. Waiting until this morning to complete assembling my salad saved my day.

Then I had to wait even longer, as the grocery store is on holiday hours and doesn't open until 10:00. When the going tough, the tough do puzzles.

Trust the pause. Good words to live by.