On the Flip Side of Negativity

I just wrote my thoughts after being on the end of a conversation which was weighted down with negativity. Before I go any further, I must counter that post with a positive one.

I recently spent two of the fastest hours of my life with a long lost friend whose life has been far from perfect. Hers is not my story to tell but suffice to say, she has walked a difficult path. I commented on her sunny attitude and wondered aloud how she could come out with such a positive outlook. Her reply? She told me she took the goodness out of every encounter, gathered those up and it kept her focused on the positives.

I have mangled her words but I hope I held onto the gist of her response. She hasn't allowed the negativity to weigh her down. Instead she has actively looked for better ways to live her life so the past is not repeated.

A traumatic childhood affects different children who lived the same experience in such vastly different ways some times. Everyone is affected. They react differently. They never forget. The people I have known have taken that which could have brought them to their knees and used it to empower themselves instead.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, (at least) four of my closest childhood friends were walking through a childhood which was not safe, predictable, warm &/or loving. In adulthood, each one of those friends have immediately commented on the kindness of my parents. The way my parents made them feel was as important and vital as our friendship.

What did my parents know that I didn't? Did they simply treat everyone with kindness and respect? I tend to believe so. The friends who were lacking that parental relationship never forgot that kindness and the sense of safety they felt within our home.

Treating every single soul with kindness is the only answer I know. One never knows the path another is walking. Kindness always wins.