Better Days

One of my personal mottos is: "The good thing about a very bad day is [often], the next day is better"

Let me add the disclaimer this is not always the truth. Bad days are not always followed by better days but there is one almost sure fire guarantee. The next day will be different.

Personally, if I can examine that very bad day and pinpoint where things went wrong or why I took a set of circumstances personally, I do my best to address my personal responsibility and attempt to let the rest go. I am better at this some days than others.

If circumstances are beyond my control, I throw my hands up in the air and mutter to myself "I did my best but the wrong things happened". I give myself permission to feel badly, pat myself on the back for doing my level best (our best changes day by day and the best is all we can ever ask of ourselves) and carry on to live another day.

I've had a few bad days in recent history. Let me disclose the fact that I have a very easy life and my definition of a "bad day" is relative to the weeks and months preceding aforementioned days. A bad day in my life is not all that terrible.

I am well aware there are situations which are dire and of much more consequence than those I have contended with. I'm not talking about those days. In fact, I tend to handle the bigger, life altering life events better than I deal with the little stuff. It's the little stuff that brings me down (almost) every time.

Knowing when to consult a professional can alter a day. Computer technology comes to mind as an example. Deciphering when I can figure something out versus admitting defeat and calling a computer expert is a blurry line. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. Losing a day-long battle against technology can leave one feeling very weary. But, when comparing said defeat against a real live crisis of epic proportions, it keeps one's perspective in view.

When you look backwards at a day and can pinpoint the exact moment when things went awry and how the domino effect of one simple action affected everything to follow, it may help to take a portion of accountability on yourself. Even though there is nothing you can do about it, if you can walk away with the thought, "Note to self: next time I will do [this] differently and hope for better results". 

There are so very many kinds of days where one feels beaten down and worn out after a long, hard day of life.

There isn't a person I know who lives without worry, pressure, tension, anxiety, trauma, pain or difficulty in some form. Everyone you meet is carrying the weight of their world on their shoulders. Some bear the burden inwardly, others may show signs of weariness, but it is almost a guarantee that everyone you meet is fighting a battle you cannot see.

There are so many stressors people are facing. Health; relationships; financial burdens; work; mental illness; concern over family/friend's well being; feelings of being overwhelmed, misunderstood or not seen; too much/not enough responsibility; work/unemployment; isolation/not enough isolation and the list goes on. 

We are acting and reacting to all the above mentioned conditions on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis. Interactions between us are almost guaranteed to go sideways because each of us is dealing with our own "stuff". The potential for misunderstanding is high.

I wrote that sentence, looked up and the title of this book from my bookshelf literally jumped out at me:

When our bad days go badly due to interactions with others, it is hard not to take them personally. It can be even harder to pinpoint an exact cause and action to rectify a problem. The chance for re-occurrence is high.

In my experience, the best way to deal with the "day after" is after taking a step back, sleeping on it and coming back at the experience without the emotion driving the feelings of a bad situation.

In my daycare days, I wrote newsletters. Writing forces me to re-examine, re-read and reflect on how my words sound to the person on the receiving end. Writing has been a godsend to me. I can defuse my emotions, search for words with less of a sting and after sorting my thoughts on paper, I can maintain a sense of calmness when speaking of how something has affected me without adding fuel to the fire.

Writing has made me better at vocalizing my thoughts. It is in my nature to avoid confrontation or arguments. The fact that I have a quiet voice assists me in making my point. I have never solved an issue by pretending it didn't exist. 

There is a sense of calm that follows after simply doing what is within your power and letting the rest go. 

Give yourself a break today. Know that you did your best. Remind yourself that your "best" changes day by day, moment by moment. Hope for better days ahead. Even though today may not be that day, remind yourself better days are on the horizon.