Some Assembly Required

I picked up groceries bright and early this morning and felt just a tad overwhelmed at the task set out before me. "What was I thinking? Buying all of these 'ingredients'!" I sighed and thought to myself "Some assembly is required ..."

We have been existing on easy-to-assemble, pre-made, frozen meals much of this COVID season. I patted myself on the back, marveling at how little we were spending on take-out. I could have lived like this forever but I do not live alone.

So I bought some better groceries this time around. Yes, some assembly was required but it will be well worth the effort.

Then I thought of the weekend past. It was definitely a weekend where some assembly was required.

My Middle Son had designed, constructed and delivered a custom bookshelf. But it was not yet in its final destination. Some assembly was required.

I thought the hard part had been done. And it had. But it still took many hours to ensure it would bear the burden of the weight of Mom's library of books. A few adjustments here, there and probably somewhere else. The need to move and re-glue a few pieces of trim. Paint touch ups. Caulking. A top shelf. More painting. Baseboards. It was a full day's work.

After my son finished his part, I had the fun job of filling the shelves. I should have taken a picture of all the bins of books. I just kept sighing ... there were so many books. Yes, I had the fun part. But due to my state of feeling easily overwhelmed lately the task felt daunting at first.

Some assembly was required.

Then I woke up the next morning with my thoughts firing on all cylinders. I could move these books here, those there and the other ones will fit into the completed unit.

Then ... if I could enlist some help, maybe I could empty my office to create the room for the desk and folding table we have downstairs. My Youngest Son accepted the challenge and he was my partner in recreating a renewed office space. More disassembly AND reassembly required.

I shuffled things around until they felt like it created a organized work space. Then I worked for several hours just to test the theory. It felt so incredible to work in this space. I can't believe I didn't do this before.

I have been going through the paces. Marking time. Crossing days off the calendar. Doing what has been required. Earning a pay cheque. Paying bills. Eat, sleep, work, eat some more, watch my current DVD favorite TV series, eat to stay awake, sleep. Rinse. Repeat. Daily.  Nothing was terribly wrong. But nothing was terribly right either.

Then came the weekend where "some assembly was required". Thankful for my sons who did 99% (maybe 100%) of the assembly, I am reaping the benefits.

I am wandering through our home appreciating every nook and cranny. I love the way our home feels. Mom's room has turned out exactly as I had envisioned it. My office is "my room" and it is coming together in a way I can visualize working-from-home as a viable retirement plan.

Sometimes, life does take a little assembly. As a general rule, it is well worth the effort.

Reimagining

My Christmas gift from my Middle Son has not only arrived, it has been installed and has moved into its rightful spot within our home. Mom's books have finally found their way to where I imagined them all along. In "Mom's room" ...

Before

After

It has all come together

The books moved into their shelving last night. I have spent the morning tweaking the look, the whereabouts and have brought out pictures which will complete the look.

This room has been one of several guest rooms within our home. It is the room Mom stayed in when she came out to help us move in (26 years ago). It is the room I dubbed "Mom's Room" from that day forward. It is the room she slept in whenever she came to visit (except when it was re-purposed as a daycare room for a while).

The third upstairs room has been transformed into my work-from-home space. The master bedroom has become my room once again. We officially have ONE guest room instead of three.

I have been wandering through the house this morning looking at it with fresh, new eyes. Our house has gone from "home" to "daycare" to "guest house" and presently it is its current state which utilizes every room upstairs. Finally.

I loved when our house was used for a daycare. Every square inch of our home was utilized. Inside and out. Every working day for fifteen years. When I closed my daycare and sold off all the daycare wares I remember feeling I was making room for what was headed my way ...

Little did I know I was making room for some of Mom's belongings after she died. Each and every item that entered our home had an empty spot waiting for its arrival. I had to shift things around in one room. Everything else just "fit".

I was lost for a while afterwards. It was a time when I had many guest rooms and lots of space in my life, heart and home to welcome company. When all three of our spare rooms were filled to capacity late this winter, I felt our home had found its identity. A home-away-from home for those who came to stay.

Then came COVID-19.

Self-isolating. Working-from-home. Staying home. Appreciating our surroundings.

Finally, finally the world reopened enough in and around the same time my son had enough time to devote to the task of installing the bookshelves he built this past winter. I wandered in and out of the room during the installation process. Part of me was panicking. The job of re-homing all Mom's books and belongings I have had in storage felt daunting.

Then I began.

One by one, each book found its spot. The Royal Family is altogether. A space for the Kennedy's. Another spot for biographies. True stories. Family history. Classics. School readers Mom collected (containing many verses she learned in school and could recite until her dying day). Reference materials. Some fiction. Almost everything has found its rightful spot within Mom's library (I am awaiting the final touch ups before re-homing the last of Mom's books on the top shelf).

I am looking at our home in a whole new light this morning. Mom's room looks and feels exactly the way I envisioned it. My office however? Needs a little work. The amazing part of this, is that most of what I need to turn this make-shift office into a "real" office is within our home. Some re-shuffling of what we already have will move the office reno in a forward direction.

Everything starts with a "before". The picture of the "now" is real. The vision of where you want to go is imagined. Unless you draw a picture of where you plan to go. In my case, I have framed my son's vision of the home he saw for Mom's books:

“A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true.” ~  Greg Reid

I am re-imagining our home's purpose. It is a beginning. 

My Favorite Way to Start the Day

I opened the living room blinds this morning and it took a second to realize the blur I saw was not dirt on my glasses. It was a rabbit parked out in the middle of the street.

I blinked, focused and saw one ... two ... three ... FOUR rabbits down the street. One on the road and three in a dandelion filled lawn (I must let our dandelions go to seed - this seems to attract rabbits).

I simply stood still and gazed at them as they shifted their positions and settled.

Can you spot them?

Here is a blurry close-up. Yes, that tiny dot is definitely a rabbit.

Rabbit spottings in our neighborhood are not quite as frequent since spring has sprung. The combination of the increasing daylight hours and the fact that I'm not feeding them has resulted in fewer rabbits spending time in our front yard. I still catch sight of one here and there but it has been ages since I have seen them gather.

I am considering putting my name down on the wait list where my aunt resides. She faces a park like setting where rabbits come to play on a regular basis. We had the treat of spotting five at one time while the landscaping crew scared them out of their hiding spots while mowing and trimming the lawn. Spotting one rabbit is a treat. Spotting two or more is a gift.

Rabbit spotting. My favorite way to start the day!

Unrest

I am loosely paraphrasing something I read recently about dreams.

Dreams written down become goals. Formulating the steps required to attain those goals becomes a plan. Following through on those steps becomes action. Taking action on a dream which was once only a wisp of a dream turns into achieving your dreams.

I used to dream.

I used to visualize where I wanted to be. I often wrote those dreams down. I sometimes added visuals to the dream. Then came the process. Step by step. One small step at a time. Dreams became reality.

I can scour the archives of this blog and my journals to witness the process I unknowingly created time and time and time again.

Unrest instigated the need for change.

Change is a process that required a set of goals.

Goals necessitated action and effort.

Effort was the catalyst of all that followed.

Achieving goals was the reward for all of the above.

The goals were achieved one step at a time. Yes, it was nice to reach the top of that mountain and enjoy the view. In retrospect, I realize I wouldn't have enjoyed the view a fraction of the amount if I hadn't personally overcome all it took to reach the summit.

Unrest. Change. Goals. Effort. Achievement.

Embrace the unrest. It is the catalyst which has the power to take you where you need to go.

Bed Hog and Cat Litter

You know all is well enough in the world when the biggest worry you have is finding a new brand of cat litter.

Yes, I woke up with cats on my mind this morning. Is it any wonder, when I roll over to discover Jet has taken ownership of one quarter of the real estate in my bed?

Back in the day when Jet didn't monopolize the bed, Ray found room for himself on the opposite corner of the bed. Look at the tiny little corner he squeezes into:

It has become the norm to make my bed around Jet and carry on with the day. So far, Jet hasn't taken ownership of the task of making up his side of the bed.

Yes, life is tough when one's biggest dilemma is trying to find a replacement for something that always worked well in the past. I hate change. But the world continues to insist I learn to adapt to the harsh realities of life. 

Until there are no more cats who reside under our roof, there will be cat litter. Life goes on. Of all the worries in the world there are to wake up to, this is a pretty good one. 

I am grateful for the bed-hogging, hair-shedding, cat-litter users who reside in our home. Life wouldn't be the same without them.

Eyebrows and Gratitude

I managed to do a few things right last fall. Number one - I started saving the "vacation pay" portion from my pay cheque each month. Number 2 - I didn't follow through with my application to get a passport.

Add a global pandemic to the above and you can see I have (what I consider to be) one of the best problems around. No place to go and a little bit of money in the bank.

As I looked into the longer range forecast of the months that lie ahead, I have wondered when we may travel freely between provinces. Leaving the country? Not even something I would consider any time soon, when that barrier is lifted. 

I am so grateful the unaffordable-at-the-time passport fee plus an unbecoming passport photo (I learned to draw in some eyebrows just in time for my driver's license photo renewal) stood in the way of getting a passport. Yes, I wasted money on a passport photo I'll never utilize BUT my driver's license photo actually looks better than the one from five years prior. It was a lesson that cost $31.97 but it gave me a gift that will last five years. Eyebrows matter.

Last year my spending exceeded my income. I am just starting to regain the ground I lost due to house maintenance, some in-country mini vacations and life in general. I am standing on solid ground and there is little temptation in sight. 

No invitations, no spur of the moment "let's do this or go there" ideas and no upcoming vacation plans. My budget is so relieved.

No vacation plans = no vacation time booked. What does that look like in the year forecast? Maybe, just maybe I can plan to book an extra day around a long weekend? Maybe I could book three day weekends for the summer? 

The country will open up in some fashion eventually. When it does, I will have last year's debt paid in full, a little money in the bank and holiday time available. In the meantime, I can sit still and appreciate all the outdoor maintenance accomplished last year and just take in the view. Everything I need is right in our own back yard. 

In light of the seriousness of the events going on in the world around us, I know this entire post is trivial and inane. But that is what makes it more important than it seems. When life feels like it is spiraling out of control, that is when I look toward the smaller picture. Gratitude for what I have. Gratitude that losing one opportunity may open the door to something new and unexpected. And gratitude for a driver's license photo where I am sporting eyebrows.

It's the little stuff that makes the biggest of difference at times. 

New Month, New Rules

I woke up this morning to another day. Another week. Another month. And ... I did not appreciate it for the gift that it was.

I am loving isolation, social distancing and staying home. Loving it. But it is not loving me back.

I have become a shell of a human being. I wake up. I go through the motions. I reward myself with reruns of my favorite TV-series-of-the-moment and snacks. I sleep. Rinse and repeat. Day after day. Weekends are less of the above.

My socialization skills are deteriorating. My keeping-in-touch gene has been deactivated. I have nothing new to talk about, think about, write about so I have less desire to talk/think/write.

Things are not spiraling in a positive direction.

So when I finally peeled myself out of bed this morning, I made a cup of coffee and retreated to my "morning pages".

I basically wrote "What am I going to do different? This week? Today? This morning? This hour? Now?" I should have written these questions sooner because there is a subconscious connection between my fingertips and my heart of hearts. I know my answers. But if I don't write, I don't tend to hear them.

This is what my heart and soul told my brain and eyes:

I have an outline. It is easy to follow. And the best part? I've already crossed two things off my to-do-list for today.

How are you doing? I know the world is opening up a little bit but I'm still fearful to step outside the comfort zone of my little isolated world. How about you?

"We can do hard things" is Glennon Doyle's mantra. Yep. The hard things I can do. It is the easy stuff that trips me up every time.

Here I go again. Rinse and repeat. I've been here before. The evidence is within this blog space. I've searched my own blog enough times to hear the echo of the past in today.