Obstacles

I am three hours into my morning. Thoughts are stirring, inspiration is sparking and I feel parts of me reigniting. Yet I look up and into the day before me and all I see is "obstacles". Real or imagined, obstacles are standing in my way.

The "real" obstacles?

I don't know what this day has in store. I was told I may or may not work (at my "day job") today. I tried calling last night to find out for sure but there was no answer. The phone rang and rang. I waited a while and called again. Nothing.

I was not meant to "know".

I woke up wondering how to set my intent for today when I didn't know what the day would bring. I decided "one hour at a time" was going to be my motto. For today, for tomorrow, for ... good.

We never really know what the next hour will bring. A phone call, an unexpected happening, an unrealized obligation or nothing at all. The best we can do on any given day, is to look at the day ahead, make an outline of what may crop up and work around it. To sit and do nothing at all because one doesn't know when the phone is going to ring or when one's expected day could change on a dime is an excuse. An excuse I have used time and time again this last long while.

I will do what I can, when I can and plan around what I do know.

I do know I am expected somewhere at 4:00. I know I want to buy new glasses. These are my two "for sure" items on today's agenda. Whatever happens in between will happen. I will do my best.

I have been watching Marie Kondo's "Tidying Up" on Netflix the past two mornings. I listen to her suggestions, I've printed off her guidelines and she is really not saying anything I didn't already know. Her style of decluttering is based upon tackling ONE category at a time. Honor that which you have. Keep that which sparks joy. Be grateful for the excess and let it go.

I can do this.

One of my biggest obstacles within my hope to declutter, paint and redecorate our home is feeling overwhelmed. Where does a person begin? It is too much.

I CAN tackle "one category" at a time. That, I can do. I do want to take on this job when I can see that category through to completion.

"Clothes" do not scare me. I do not obsess about clothes. Perhaps I should. But I don't. And that is okay. Even though I have little, I know I have a lot to get rid of. The clothes that make me feel blah, bulky and blue. I can picture some of them as I sit here. Yet when I'm feeling lost and insecure, I don't even feel strong enough to let those go. I do believe if I pile every item of clothing I have onto a bed as Marie suggests, my choices will become clearer.

"Books" are the second item on Marie's checklist. Immediately, I thought I couldn't do books. The books in our home are all wrapped up in sentimental value because 95% of them were Mom's. Yet ... I want to house, organize and showcase Mom's books in a way that honors them. I want to create a small library within one of our spare rooms. This goal begins with emptying the bookshelves and creating space to build what is starting to formulate within my mind's eye. Yes, books must be second on my list of decluttering. Dealing with these books will open possibilities and allow my dream of creating a reading room begin to happen.

"Komono" is a little bit of everything else. It includes everything EXCEPT sentimental items. Dealing with the miscellaneous items within our home means bringing all like items together, culling through the excess and storing what is left over in ONE place. I remember the satisfaction I used to feel KNOWING that each and every safety pin within our home was in ONE place. I'm weird that way. But as I enter the stage of forgetting where things are, if I move it from its original storage spot, the idea of knowing where each and every safety pin is, brings me peace. Then again, if I can't remember where one is, I will have lost them all ... (things that make me go "hmmm").

"Sentimental" - this is the category which has stopped me in my tracks each and every time I think of tackling the excess within our home. This is why Marie Kondo suggests tackling this last. Even though I may not have the fortitude to see this task through to the bitter end of letting things go, this is what I know. I CAN sort through and put all pictures in ONE spot. I can isolate and honor the letters. I can put all the memorabilia and history in one place. Sentimental items that take up less space in my heart can be dealt with easier. But the hard stuff? I can put that in one container and deal with them when I am still and able to honor the memories as I decide what is important.

"Papers" is another category Marie has mentioned. Paper is my downfall. I have not only my income tax papers, receipts and all documents related to our home and everything in it, to diplomas, resumes, and household receipts BUT I have both Mom & Dad's income tax returns since 1945. Yes, "papers" is going to be a tough one. Perhaps even harder than the sentimental category.

I believe categorizing the task and putting it ALL right out in front of you is key. As I look upon each and every category Marie Kondo describes, I can picture the piles which will formulate. There is a "knowing" that by taking everything out of the nooks and crannies where they are stored, and putting them in ONE pile, priorities will come into focus.

I look ahead not only into today, but the days, months and years ahead and I recognize the obstacles that lie ahead of me.

Something is different though. I feel as though I am honoring those obstacles.

The job I don't know if I will have to go to today? I have this job! It is a job which could not be better for me. It honors who I am, what I know, what I am capable of and what I am capable of learning. Plus? I get paid.

I have a small writing project I finally started tackling again yesterday. I have been procrastinating for six months. It is not a hard job. It is simply time consuming. I felt overwhelmed. So I set a timer for one hour. ONE hour at a time, I took on this task. I reset the timer three more times. I SUCCEEDED in working for 3.5 hours. The job is still a long way from completion. But one hour at a time, I will get it done.

The excess that has been weighing me down? I look around our home, I open cupboards and drawers and I realize the excess isn't as heavy on the outside as it feels on the inside. I'm a girl who used to scour the house from top to bottom to ensure everything not only HAD a spot, but every little item that fell within that category was IN its spot.

Material belongings could be lost in a heartbeat. Our home that houses not only us but all of our "stuff" is a gift beyond words.

I will begin this journey of overcoming obstacles by honoring them. I will place all those obstacles into a pile (mentally or physically) and honor what I have been given before I start letting the excess go.