Post Gathering De-Briefing

I'm talking myself down this morning after hosting a family gathering here yesterday. I did some things right but there is a list of things to do better for next time.

I issued a mass invitation to our family about a month ago. After all was said and done, twenty people attended. The gathering was a pre-birthday celebration for my uncle who will be turning 90 in a few months.

The numbers started fluctuating a bit as the date neared. This was possibly the catalyst for the slight panic I felt when picking up groceries...

In the aftermath, I have a mental list of what did right and will do again. Another list of lessons learned:

• I WILL issue "Just bring yourself"!! invitations again. I was pleased when I heard people's reactions to this. It is the type of invitation I find easiest to say "yes" to and I was delighted to discover I am not alone.
• I WILL NOT purchase groceries for such an event without a detailed and well planned out list. I panicked in the grocery store. I bought far too much perishable food. I hope I learned this lesson well!
• I DID set up a "serve yourself" drink station. Everything was accessible for people to help themselves to a beverage of their choosing. 
• I served people anyway. I need to redesign the flow of things if when I do this again...
• I WILL rent tables and chairs if the group exceeds our present seating capacity. There is nothing quite like the feeling of "sitting at the kitchen table" to instil easy conversation AND it is so very much better than trying to balance your plate on your lap while you eat.
• I DID NOT clean the entire house before this event. I WILL do that again in the future!!
• Despite the fact that seating was set up in a few different areas of the yard, people did not tend to leave the pack because it was too segregated. 
• Future (future!) renovation plans: create an "open concept" back yard (or invite less people over at one time).
• I updated a few items to help out with serving large groups. I am not certain the cold beverage dispenser was a necessity (but it was very handy). 
• I DID buy a new kettle which absolutely excites me (despite my best efforts to clean our old one, I couldn't completely eliminate the limescale deposits and large chunks would escape from time to time). That one definitely comes out as a "Win!"
• I WILL wear comfortable shoes!! I have wrecked my feet this summer by wearing sandals that do not accommodate the orthotics I have for my shoes. It hurts to walk. Even in the house. Except if I wear my foot friendly sandals. I haven't had "bad feet" stories for a very long time. Happy feet make the world of difference.
• I'm GLAD I made the time to color my hair. I made this decision at 9:30 p.m., the night before the gathering. I thought I may be a little insane to prioritize that little task but that small bit of pampering gave me what I needed to walk through the day without worrying about the small stuff (now, if only I had taken a few seconds to pluck those stray chin hairs I just discovered).
• I AM going to get something done about our hazardous deck stair. I warned people all day to be careful of the not-to-code spacing of the top step. We made it to the final ten minutes. I congratulated  the last of my guests just before they headed for home. My final warning was, "We made it through the day. Now just be careful when you leave...". It was only minutes later when I heard the crash. Our guest of honor took a tumble. Thankfully he fell onto the deck and not down the steps. His head took the brunt of his fall. I just checked in on him this morning. No black eye, no indication of any serious injury, "... just a bit of road rash" was the update.

All in all, when I have mental flashbacks of the day I have visions of the conversations I saw out of the corner of my eye. I can see our guest of honor talking with various family members one-on-one. Groupings of cousins chatting easily. Uncles who seemed to be just plain happy to be gathered together in amongst family. 

But the unsung hero of the day? My youngest son. He was my silent helper, quietly making his mark without making a sound. He did so much without me saying a word. He did so much more when I'd ask him to do a favor. He was the behind the scenes guy who cleaned things up, put that which was not being used away, restored order in every sense of the word and DID NOT stop until he saw that I was done. "I don't want to leave you alone with this," he said without a second thought.

There was not a thing my son did to bring attention to his actions but people noticed. I was calmed by his presence and the ease with which he just "knew" what to do.

I look at the generations of extended family which filled our home yesterday and my heart is simply happy. 

I think of my grandparents who instigated this gathering. If they could be watching over us, I think their hearts would be as full as mine. 

I think of the uncles, aunts and parents who are no longer with us and hope they can feel this incredible sense of "family" and see what has passed through the generations. 

I think of my son and I feel hope. The new generation is carrying the torch. I see light when I think of the ways of family and kindness are being passed down along the line.

I think of yesterday and I am grateful. Simply grateful.

Looking on the Bright Side

Luck is all in the way you spin a tale. Speaking of tales, I have one to spin with you this morning. I can only see the good in the way this sequence of events played out. What do you see?

I was on the last lap of my drive home from work a few nights ago when a whiff of antifreeze scent, quickly followed by steam coming out from under my hood happened moments before the light turned green.

I couldn't abandon the car in an intersection so I drove onward.

Dad's words came to me immediately. "If your car ever overheats, turn the heat and the fan up to high [he probably said to pull over immediately but I ignored that part] and when you stop, do NOT open the radiator cap until it has cooled down."

I did exactly what Dad told me (minus the part about pulling over immediately). I was a few blocks away from our neighborhood garage, no lights came on (I am now wondering why not?!) so I pulled into a parking spot there and called them in the morning.

The diagnosis has been made. The water pump went (he assured me this is something you can rarely see coming), the car overheated so now the radiator cap is not holding pressure, antifreeze went all over the place so a new belt is required and the check engine light indicated an "oxygen sensor code" error. For a mere $844.75, I will be back on the road later today. "Well, that's cheaper than a new car!" was my response. "Maybe I should splurge on a new windshield after all? [I have a stone chip that needs to be tended and the entire windshield is pitted]"

This unexpected expense is coming at the tail end of my renovation spending which sadly went several thousands of dollars over my ability to pay. As I stretched my budget to the max I was concerned about the fact that I had no leeway left in my savings and budgeting to allow for anything unexpected. "What if something happens to my car?" I lamented.

The unexpected happened. But it could have been so very much worse.

• I broke down at the END of my day
• It gave me a "remembering Dad" moment (always a gift)
• I was able to make it to the garage - no tow truck cost was necessary
• The car is repairable. Though the breakdown was rather large on the scale of things, I didn't have to weigh the option of "replace" over "repair"
• I was close to home! Just a few days prior, we were driving down country roads which would have resulted in a completely different scenario
• I can afford this! Even though I don't have any expendable cash at the moment, I can make this work (I will just have to borrow a little more from my son's University Savings in order to do so)
• I was able to keep driving and was not stranded in any way, shape or form
• I was able to borrow my son's car while mine was down for repairs. Thankfully it was available as long as I needed with little expense besides topping up the gas tank and power steering fluid
• I handled this myself. I seem to have my middle son on speed dial when it comes to dealing with minor emergencies but I DIDN'T call him. This shouldn't feel as big as it does but I feel empowered knowing I didn't need anyone's assistance except my friendly neighborhood mechanic

See how an unfortunate set of events became all about feeling incredibly lucky that things turned out exactly the way they did? It's all in the way you spin your story. You can feel fortunate things didn't turn out worse or you can focus on all that went wrong. I choose to feel fortunate. I truly believe this to be true.

Now ... I just have to spin a tale to figure out a way to see my newly stained deck in a manner that doesn't look so "green". Unbeknownst to me at the time, I was sold the wrong product and SHOULD have had the stain for pressure treated wood to alleviate the green tones. Now all I see is GREEN. I can hear Kermit the Frog singing "It isn't easy being green..."

"But if green is all there is to be

It could make you wonder why, but why wonder, why wonder

I'm green and it'll do fine

And it's beautiful and I think it's what I want to be."

Songwriters: RAPOSO JOSEPH G

It's All in the Details

It is the littlest of things that can make the biggest of differences. I find this to be true in almost any aspect of living this quiet little life of mine.

Customer service can make or break a company's reputation. I love spreading good customer service stories and they linger in my consciousness long after the moment has past. One good experience buys customer loyalty, good word-of-mouth advertising (the best form of advertising in my humble opinion) and it simply feels good to be on the receiving end of an experience where you have been treated with kindness.

It is that simple.

On the other hand, I have had a few situations lately which left a sour taste in my mouth. In both cases, I followed up and spoke with a different employee after I slept on my thoughts and woke up feeling like I had a worthy complaint. 

My intent was to #1 - find out if my concerns were valid and #2 - voice my experience in the hope that an issue may be addressed and may prevent this from happening to others.

As frustrating as it was, I tried to put myself in the other guy's shoes. Did I have a tone in my voice that could have been taken as confrontational? Did I phrase my words properly so I was understood? Was it me? Or could the other guy have been having an off day? 

I worked in a customer service industry for decades. I feel like one of my strongest traits in that job was providing good customer service. I could handle complaints in a manner which left me feeling I had done the best I could with the situation at hand. 

There was one disclaimer though. As long as the person was not complaining about ME, I could take a step back, be unbiased, listen and attempt to resolve the problem. If the complaint WAS about me, I immediately felt like I was being attacked, my defenses went up and I felt an irrational amount of guilt. My actions were emotion based instead of service based. 

Acting and speaking when emotion is driving the car is rarely a good thing. Perhaps that is why, even as the customer, I don't REact. I try to give myself time and space and ACT when my head is a little clearer and my emotions are in the back seat.

So very many of my experiences are positive ones yet it is the emotion driving the negative ones that give them so much power. 

I cannot end this post on a negative note such as this. Let me tell you some excellent customer service stories:

• My friendly, neighborhood mechanic who treats me so well. I take my car to him in sickness and in health and he always treats my concerns as well as he treats my car. Kudos to those who take care of the people behind their problems!
• Costco, whose customer service team went above and beyond the call of duty. They listened to my story (and my stories are rarely short!), empathized with my situation and did everything in their power to resolve it. I walked out to the store thinking "That company must treat their employees well and it has trickled down to excellent customer service!"
• The employee at our home security company who was the unlucky soul to be on the receiving end of my call. I had been trying to get through to this company for days. There is nothing more disconcerting than being unable to speak to someone who is handling your home's security (then again, I had been calling an old contact number so I was also to blame). By the time I reached this poor girl, bright and early one morning, my one question had morphed into about six PLUS the emotion behind my frustration was evident. I apologized to her and said I was sorry - probably her very first call of the day and I was bombarding her with questions of all kinds - and she was handling it so well. She just laughed and said, "You're so funny ..." and added a comment which made me feel she appreciated the acknowledgement. Employees who are on the other end of a telephone line have a thankless job at times - people aren't as kind when they can't see who they are talking with. It's a tough job. I appreciate those who can do it so well!
• A Sobey's grocery cashier, who sees hundreds upon hundreds of customers throughout the day/week, who acknowledged and recognized me as a regular customer, "You come in here all the time!". And I am only there once a week or less. Hooray to those who work tirelessly and still take time to notice the little things!
• Almost all those who worked on our home this year (there was one snarky shingle installer who soured the experience a bit). I was treated with courtesy, respect, kindness and good humor. Even when I voiced a negative concern, I was treated positively and (except for the above noted case) the situation was resolved. Some of the best customer service is recognized by overcoming customer objections. I am grateful to all who listen and look after the little things to do the job right!
• A waitress who was called in to work on her night off and had let down her family as she was required to work at the last minute. We only found out about this because out of the blue, she simply apologized to us and went on to serve another table. When she came back, we asked her why she was sorry and she quickly explained. She introduced herself to us when we sat down and I actually remembered her name. She beamed like a ray of sunshine when she realized this and responded, "Thank you! For making me feel seen!" 

We all need to feel "seen". In good times and in bad. On the receiving end and providing customer service. The smallest of things can make the biggest difference. It's all in the details.

You just don't know what is going on in another person's life. Simple kindnesses go such a long way. I would like to end this post using Ellen Degeneres' catch phrase, "Be kind to one another!" 

Invitations, Rentals and a Steamin' Hot Car

The morning has taken on a life of its own with little time left to write.

Final invitation emails and text messages for a family gathering have been sent. I labor over these things more than I should. Thankfully I started formulating my thoughts yesterday morning. I finished them up and sent them off this morning.

My invitations have been fairly well received so I believe it would make for a more leisurely afternoon/evening of visiting if ample tables and chairs are provided. I found some. They are available. There is the small detail of delivery though. It's those small details that trip you up, isn't it?

I was turning off on my way home from work last night when I smelled a "poof" of antifreeze; followed by smoke (I believe it was steam but my heart felt "smoke"). I fear I may have let my antifreeze reservoir run dry (my bad!!! - no excuse for that) but I got the car to my friendly, neighborhood mechanic to ensure I didn't ruin anything by driving a few more minutes (and to double check my diagnosis). This may or may not end well ..

So much to do ... so little time to squeeze it all in.

I could have been on holidays this week. Sigh.

Yesterday

What happened to the weekends I wasted away doing a lot of nothing? I don't know if I miss them or if this whole "sense of accomplishment" thing is becoming addictive.

My original plan was to be on holidays this week. My hope was to have all the house/yard exterior maintenance complete so I could simply sit back and admire where things are at.

I had visions of the house and garage exteriors being taken care of, sitting back and seeing nothing but the unstained deck and dead grass. Well, Mother Nature did her part and the grass is holding its own. So I kept up my end of the bargain and did my part too.

The deck (I decided a second coat was required) is done. Again.

I picked up some deck revival product to prepare the fence boards for staining. I decided to try out the product on a weathered eleven year old bench we have. I should have taken a before picture. But I didn't. Here is the "after" shot. It looks brand new again: 

Fueled with enthusiasm from this successful project, I decided the gate and small fenced area by the back door would be a manageable task. Here is a before/after picture of what this product can do. The dark grey section between the gate and the rest of the fence is what the entire area looked like before:

Here is the completed job outside the yard. Ready, waiting and thirsty for a coat of stain:

I came in at the end of a long day outside, made supper, had a shower and vacuumed cat hair. There was a time (perhaps last month) when a day like this would most definitely be an excuse not to cook. What is happening to me?!?

If only I was on holidays this morning, I could simply sit back and admire the efforts of a rather productive long weekend. Holidays? I am so ready for you. Maybe next weekend.

The Wonders of Nature

We were driving home from the lake yesterday afternoon and I spotted a flock of pelicans. I felt the awe of the moment and shared my amazement with my son. 

My youngest son is a pretty stoic guy and the word "excited" does not describe his nature the vast majority of the time. I believe he quietly shakes his head with some of my observations and the wonders of the world around us. His comment to me was that having a daycare sure made me appreciate nature.

My response to him came easy and is 100% what I believe. "That is what I loved about my daycare days. There is nothing like seeing the world through the eyes of a child, noticing things for the first time."

I remember the time my oldest son and I were camping with literally nothing around us but nature. We noticed an industrious colony of ants. I have the greatest admiration for those hard working insects. During my daycare days, I fondly remember the number of times we would stop a walk in progress to marvel at the load a tiny ant had on its back. 

Up and coming easily amazed children gave me an excuse to stop and marvel at the smallest of things. 

I spent Saturday morning outside breathing in the day with our cats. I have numerous pictures of our cats enjoying the day (though I wasn't fast enough to capture our senior cat in residence as he noticed/chased the small moths in the grass and the kitten I saw in his actions), but it was the bird calls that caught my attention.

This chatty robin seemed to be keeping his eye on the activity within our yard and was sending out warnings to all his friends and family that there were cats on the loose:

There was more than one bird in this tree at the time I took the picture. I wondered if I would be able to zoom in and find it in a Where's Waldo kind of way. Here is a close up to the chatty robin:

As my family canoed and kayaked on the lake yesterday, I was lucky enough to get to sit on the beach and simply marvel at the world around me. Once again, I have an arsenal of pictures of my family on the water but I got that feeling of child-like awe when I spotted a pelican:

The pelican never got any closer but thanks to modern technology, I could zoom in on him too:

I have offered to spend some time out at my son's farm and oversee their two dogs, two rabbits and twenty two cats while they go on vacation. As we visited yesterday, I had my eyes on the nature-viewing spots on their deck and found myself anticipating this upcoming retreat and quiet oasis away from it all.

There is truly nothing like looking into the landscape and taking in the wonders of nature. I just wish it didn't include ticks!

Peaceful Easy Feeling

I am stepping into the day with a "peaceful easy feeling" ...

The melody to the song the Eagles made famous wafted through my mind. I mindlessly looked up the lyrics to see if there was more to the music than the melody. And there was.

" 'Cause I got a peaceful easy feelin'

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standin'

On the ground "

~ Songwriter Jack Tempchin ~

These lyrics speak loudly to the way I feel about life as I know it.

I listen to the world around me, those who stand on their platforms and spew negativity, those who skew the truths of the world around them and focus on the negative and basically the words that cycle through my consciousness and plant seeds of doubt and infect my thoughts. 

I keep coming back to this "peaceful easy feeling". Others won't let me down. Because I'm already standing on the ground.

I feel grounded. I feel rooted in family, friends and community. I have faith that everything will work out okay. I feel safe, secure and happy within the world I live in. I'm already standing on the ground.

I hope to spread this feeling and infect others with this peaceful easy feeling. It is one small way I hope to make a mark within this world I live in.

May the ground beneath your feet feel solid, safe and comforting. May you have a peaceful, easy day.