Post Gathering De-Briefing

I'm talking myself down this morning after hosting a family gathering here yesterday. I did some things right but there is a list of things to do better for next time.

I issued a mass invitation to our family about a month ago. After all was said and done, twenty people attended. The gathering was a pre-birthday celebration for my uncle who will be turning 90 in a few months.

The numbers started fluctuating a bit as the date neared. This was possibly the catalyst for the slight panic I felt when picking up groceries...

In the aftermath, I have a mental list of what did right and will do again. Another list of lessons learned:

• I WILL issue "Just bring yourself"!! invitations again. I was pleased when I heard people's reactions to this. It is the type of invitation I find easiest to say "yes" to and I was delighted to discover I am not alone.
• I WILL NOT purchase groceries for such an event without a detailed and well planned out list. I panicked in the grocery store. I bought far too much perishable food. I hope I learned this lesson well!
• I DID set up a "serve yourself" drink station. Everything was accessible for people to help themselves to a beverage of their choosing. 
• I served people anyway. I need to redesign the flow of things if when I do this again...
• I WILL rent tables and chairs if the group exceeds our present seating capacity. There is nothing quite like the feeling of "sitting at the kitchen table" to instil easy conversation AND it is so very much better than trying to balance your plate on your lap while you eat.
• I DID NOT clean the entire house before this event. I WILL do that again in the future!!
• Despite the fact that seating was set up in a few different areas of the yard, people did not tend to leave the pack because it was too segregated. 
• Future (future!) renovation plans: create an "open concept" back yard (or invite less people over at one time).
• I updated a few items to help out with serving large groups. I am not certain the cold beverage dispenser was a necessity (but it was very handy). 
• I DID buy a new kettle which absolutely excites me (despite my best efforts to clean our old one, I couldn't completely eliminate the limescale deposits and large chunks would escape from time to time). That one definitely comes out as a "Win!"
• I WILL wear comfortable shoes!! I have wrecked my feet this summer by wearing sandals that do not accommodate the orthotics I have for my shoes. It hurts to walk. Even in the house. Except if I wear my foot friendly sandals. I haven't had "bad feet" stories for a very long time. Happy feet make the world of difference.
• I'm GLAD I made the time to color my hair. I made this decision at 9:30 p.m., the night before the gathering. I thought I may be a little insane to prioritize that little task but that small bit of pampering gave me what I needed to walk through the day without worrying about the small stuff (now, if only I had taken a few seconds to pluck those stray chin hairs I just discovered).
• I AM going to get something done about our hazardous deck stair. I warned people all day to be careful of the not-to-code spacing of the top step. We made it to the final ten minutes. I congratulated  the last of my guests just before they headed for home. My final warning was, "We made it through the day. Now just be careful when you leave...". It was only minutes later when I heard the crash. Our guest of honor took a tumble. Thankfully he fell onto the deck and not down the steps. His head took the brunt of his fall. I just checked in on him this morning. No black eye, no indication of any serious injury, "... just a bit of road rash" was the update.

All in all, when I have mental flashbacks of the day I have visions of the conversations I saw out of the corner of my eye. I can see our guest of honor talking with various family members one-on-one. Groupings of cousins chatting easily. Uncles who seemed to be just plain happy to be gathered together in amongst family. 

But the unsung hero of the day? My youngest son. He was my silent helper, quietly making his mark without making a sound. He did so much without me saying a word. He did so much more when I'd ask him to do a favor. He was the behind the scenes guy who cleaned things up, put that which was not being used away, restored order in every sense of the word and DID NOT stop until he saw that I was done. "I don't want to leave you alone with this," he said without a second thought.

There was not a thing my son did to bring attention to his actions but people noticed. I was calmed by his presence and the ease with which he just "knew" what to do.

I look at the generations of extended family which filled our home yesterday and my heart is simply happy. 

I think of my grandparents who instigated this gathering. If they could be watching over us, I think their hearts would be as full as mine. 

I think of the uncles, aunts and parents who are no longer with us and hope they can feel this incredible sense of "family" and see what has passed through the generations. 

I think of my son and I feel hope. The new generation is carrying the torch. I see light when I think of the ways of family and kindness are being passed down along the line.

I think of yesterday and I am grateful. Simply grateful.