I Like Wednesdays

My morning thoughts this mid-week morning were so much lighter than the days that proceeded it. I like the "lightness" Wednesday brings into my life.

Don't get me wrong. Wednesday is not my favorite day of the week. I simply like it. Any weekday I can actually "like" is a good one.

Wednesday marks the half way point to everything I count as important. My work week is cut in half. The days I have to accomplish what I'd like to accomplish before the weekend are coming to an end.

Deadlines energize me. Wednesday is all about what needs to be done within the next few days. As much as I fight this, I know I need cut off dates looming otherwise I can drift through the days without purpose.

First days deplete me. The first of "anything" feels overwhelming and I'd run for cover if I could. From Mondays to starting a task that overwhelms me.

Sometimes waking up to a weekday is enough to make me want to hide under the covers all day. But the moment my feet hit the floor and I start taking one step in the direction I need to go, the feeling starts to subside. A bit. When I get myself knee deep into the morning/the day/a task (that part where there is no going back, you can only go forward), is when I feel the energized me start to conquer the overwhelmed and defeated parts of myself.

"You have started. You did the hardest part. All you have to do is keep taking one step in a forward direction and you will be further ahead than where you were. Just get past the hardest part ... the beginning."

These are the words I feel within me when I'm in the middle. This can overwhelm me and stop me in my tracks but even if it does, I have the knowledge that I'm further ahead than I was when I began. Starting from the middle or anywhere further along than the beginning is a little bit easier. Sometimes. Not always. But enough of the time that I know getting past the beginning is the biggest hurdle for me.

That is where "Wednesday" comes into play. I'm past the beginning of everything. The end goal is in sight. Whether it is a project at work I must complete before the weekend or a welcome diversion from the tedium of the week or simply "Saturday".

Wednesday is the point in the week where I am in the middle of the hard stuff and half way through to my reward.

What will I do when I don't have work to give my weeks definition? Will I have the stamina to create my own deadlines and reestablish a routine where I don't simply sit back and watch life go by?

I believe that is why I am craving a holiday without defined plans. I want to know who I am when I am no one to anyone. Just me.

I was very much looking forward to taking a week off with nothing more on my agenda than being still. Though I do not define myself as being busy, I do have a rather "committed" life. The week is not my own. I give that away to others (the reward to that is that I do get paid for my sacrifice so I guess that is a small price to pay). But my weekends? I love them free and clear and easy.

Life has been far too committed lately. I am so looking forward to the quiet. I am half way there. I am half way to nowhere and everywhere at the same time. The heaviness of "the beginning" is lighter. I see light at the end of my week.

I remember Mom commenting (seemingly out of the blue, but it was deep in the consciousness of her thoughts), "I like Tuesdays. [pause] I like Wednesdays too, but I like Tuesday." I'm pretty sure I have remembered this right because I remember asking if it was because Tuesday used to be her bowling day. She pondered the idea and thought maybe ... but she just really liked Tuesdays. I think she followed that up by saying Sunday was her least favorite day of the week.

Mom never worked outside the home but she worked hard within her home. She went to sleep at night, mapping out the next days agenda. I'm guessing this was a habit instilled early in her life but she held onto it throughout the duration. It is a good habit to have.

I feel my agenda is defined by other's needs right now. It is to a point, but my destiny is in my own hands. It is what I do with the hours before and after my regularly scheduled day that defines me.

I am without definition at times. I am wandering. I know where I am at is not going to last forever. Life as I know it could change in a heartbeat for any number of reasons. Yet here I am, 59 years into living this life of mine, and I'm still living for the weekend.

It's Wednesday today. I'm halfway into and through the week at hand. I like Wednesdays.

What is your "favorite day"? May you find something you like about each day of the week but for reasons that are yours and yours alone ... what is your favorite?