Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Life Gets in the Way

I am sitting in a dark room, with a cup of coffee and a closed door in an attempt to tune out life's distractions (cats). I am curious to know what I would write if I lived in a vacuum. 

What would it feel like to be removed from distraction? No buzz of an internet, cell phone or TV signal. No deadlines biting at my heels, no cat hair stuck to those very heels, no bank book to balance. No responsibility to tend to the needs of others.

The past weekend was filled with everything I love. A bonus day off. Time at my little oasis away from home. Time spent with immediate and extended family. Time alone. 

But I was still connected.

A phone call that was necessary to take, in order to set up an appointment for Monday morning broke the spell. I woke up to this week with responsibilities pulling dragging me out of bed and out the door. A fog warning and yet another "check engine" light were not enough to stand in the way of what needed to be done.

A looming deadline should have me working at warp speed so I don't have to work through the weekend. But it's not. Distractions. Some real, most self induced. 

Real - the need to make (yet another!) bank appointment; make arrangements to pick up a cheque; paperwork to be completed for my bosses' boss; follow up on invoices I've been promised but not yet received; phone call reminders to nudge others into action. I have paper piles of things-to-be-done for others that I can't do on my own. The daily and weekly work must be tended. Then there is that looming deadline ...

Important - tending to the "check engine light", which seems to have finally broken the domino effect of a repair made a week prior; a phone call I have been wanting to make for the past week, which requires follow-up action; tending to the showerhead that is so clogged we are showering under a trickle of water; washing and taming my hair (again) ...

Never-ending - need I say "cat hair"?; cat litter; making lunch so I'm ready to run out the door to my other job; the need to replenish gas, milk and groceries; vacuuming and house cleaning tidying in general.

Self induced - oh, there are so many things in this category! Listening to my favorite podcast (We Can Do Hard Things); word and number puzzles; checking the status of my personal financial state of affairs; watch the backlog of recorded TV programs; Instagram check-ins; check email; testing the new cat-hair-removal gizmo I just bought (yes, it gathers the cat hair but the hair wafts into the air and lands on the freshly cleaned area which simply perpetuates the need to vacuum).

My thoughts are pinging around in my head like a ball in a pinball arcade game. Concerns over family members near and far. Frustrations over that which is out of my control...

That which is out of my control.

Those are the words that hit home the hardest. What do I have the power to do? Have I done it? "Do what can be done, then let it go" has been a long standing motto of mine. Perhaps the reason I can't let go is because I have not yet done what is within my control. 

Do what can be done, then let it go.

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