Good Things Will Come

As I dipped into my revolving supply of morning smoothie ingredients and was quietly grateful for that which is "on tap" within our home on a regular basis, I felt my gratitude multiplied this morning.

Many, many (many) decades ago an acquaintance mentioned her parent's habit of always keeping an extra of everything they used regularly on hand. When their spare item was taken from its place in the pantry, it was immediately replaced. Thus, they always had a ready supply of all regularly used items on hand.

I immediately incorporated "keeping a revolving inventory on hand" into my way of living and budgeting. Any time someone took the last item from our stock, they were supposed to write it on the list so I knew to replace it. This way of shopping has served us well over the years.

Add "budgeting" into this formula and there are times when I'm waiting for the next pay cheque or credit card cut off date before I replenish my supplies. That was exactly were I landed last Friday.

I have been working hard to spend within my allotted budget amount. In order to succeed, I had to wait until Friday to do my shopping. Add the fact that "self isolating" is a way of life for me. I live for weekends where my car doesn't have to leave the garage.  The fact that I had plans to go out that night resulted in shopping at 10 p.m. on a Friday night. Not my favorite place in the world to be. Ever. Let alone in the midst of a time where scarcity is ruling the world as we know it.

I have been very calm, level headed and practical about all the advisories during this time of the COVID-19 Virus. I have read or heard in more than one place: "Everything we need to know, we learned in Kindergarten". Share, don't hog the toys, be kind to one another, protect others when you cough, wash your hands, wash your hands and wash your hands. Stay home if you are sick. And as Glennon Doyle taught me, "do the next right thing".

If we all follow these simple instructions, hopefully we can slow the spread of this virus.

Then I found myself in a Walmart at 10 p.m. on a Friday night, when it should have been close to abandoned. It was busy. The shelves were bare. I had a hard time finding the items on my list to replenish my revolving supply of household goods and groceries.

Yes. I felt the anxiety that is running rampant. I came home to find my son reverberating a different version of the same reality. The university cancelled classes. This is real.

Remember what you learned in Kindergarten. Be kind. Be considerate. Share. Wash your hands often. Plus one amendment to those rules ... give everyone their space and learn to appreciate alone time. This is the breeding ground of great ideas, imagination, creativity and listening to the quiet within the world you may find.

I believe this will get much worse before it gets better. I hear glimmers of hope all around me. Some good will come. I have heard it said that this is giving our earth a chance to breathe. This is a rude awakening ... but it is never so bad that it couldn't be worse.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to our health care system and providers. Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who work in the front lines and are exposed to hundreds upon hundreds of people on a daily basis. I can't begin to think that you are bearing the brunt of people's fear and anxiety. Thank you, thank you, thank you to truck drivers and those in the delivery field. We are so very fortunate to have you in our corner.

Please be mindful, considerate and kind. In times of great uncertainty, please let kindness win.

Synchronicity

I am working my way through "It's Never Too Late to Begin Again" by Julia Cameron. 

Julia instructs her readers to divide their current age by twelve. In my case, since that answer is five, my first assignment is to go back and recall memories, smells, feelings and all I know about my first five years.

Lucky for me, what I lacked in actual memories, I was able to find in pictures.

Mom and me

I love the look on Mom's face in this picture. I am amused by the ashtray and cigarette at her side. This was the norm back then. Nothing unusual there. Except perhaps the fact that Mom is wearing plaid pants with a striped top. Now that one makes me sit and wonder what inspired her choice in attire that day. Maybe that was the norm too?

Dad and me

I'm a little older here. Once again, I love how Dad is looking at me. Obviously I was placed in the crook of his arm for picture taking purposes only (who would read a paper with a baby in their arms?). I find it comforting that Dad is reading a paper here. Dad sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper is how I think of Dad when I think of him relaxing. 

My Sisters and me

I have been told my sisters were pretty excited to have a new baby in the house and I was adored as a child. Mom saved a card of congratulations from my uncle saying "Congratulations to the 2 sisters too - I hear they're pretty happy people." I have few sister-memories from this age and stage of my life but I have a feeling the closeness I feel to them stems from their attachment to me from day one. Apparently plaid and stripes were the norm back then - check our my sister's attire above.

Momma Cat and me

I don't really remember Momma Cat (I think that was her name) but this picture encapsulates the way I still feel when I'm wrapped up in the moment of being a content cat parent. Cats, boxes, cushions and kids. This has been a common theme throughout my life and that of my own children. The expressions on Mom and Dad's faces in the previous photos have been transferred to me - this time I'm the proud "parent".

Sorting through these pictures, putting them in chronological order and scouring the pictures for long forgotten details segued into my first "Artist Date".

I love the way the music of the 1960's makes me feel. In a word? Happy. As far back as my memory goes, there was a record player in our living room. Remnants of my sisters' teen years were the 45 rpm records of the hits from the 1960's remained when I grew into my teens. This music must have been the soundtrack to my youngest years. I remember nothing but the feeling. Happiness.

Yesterday, I played 1960 music in the background while I finally took on the task of sorting through pictures, memorabilia, newspaper clippings, wedding/funeral cards and all that Mom deemed important enough to save. 

I started a photo album of the first five years of my life while music from the '60's played. I let thoughts, feelings, memories and a sense of wonder wash in, around and through me. 

What started out as a quiet little task to assemble memories of "0 to 5 years", became a walk down memory lane.

It is the closest I've felt to Mom in a very long time.

As per usual, the first thing I did when I woke up this morning was open the living room blinds in the hope of spotting a rabbit. I haven't had many rabbit sightings lately but the evidence of their presence is everywhere. Rabbit tracks galore and the need to replenish their food every other day. 

This morning? A rabbit was sitting on the street, facing our window as if it was sitting and waiting for me. I gazed at this lone, still rabbit for a good half hour before something got its attention and it stood on all fours, stretched upwards, looked towards our living room window one last time and hopped down the street. 

Part of this week's assignment was to be mindful of synchronicities as they happen - being at the right place at the right time, thinking of someone and they call and other little ways of calling your attention to the minute details of life and considering how they are connected.

I was looking back on my 2019 calendar and was reminded of a childhood friend I wanted to invite for lunch. I turned the calendar pages a few times and the friend I had just been thinking of called me. We are having lunch together today.

I knew without a doubt I wanted to spend the early morning hours in "Mom's room" yesterday as I planned to concentrate on my "It's Never Too Late..." assignment. The moment I sat still in the room, I was enveloped with a sense of peace and stillness.

Be still and know ...

I sat still with Mom's box of memorabilia, photos and breathed in the day. I spent the day in the room I dubbed "Mom's room" from the very first time she stayed with us. I immersed myself in childhood thoughts, memories, music and felt a warm embrace and the sense of feeling

 "Everything's going to be okay".

Then I woke up to a rabbit gazing towards our living room window this morning. A rabbit who was in no hurry to move on. A rabbit who seemed to be exactly where it was meant to be.

Synchronicity? I like to think so. It feels good ...

A Beautiful Message

For anyone planning to see "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood", I highly recommend reading the Esquire article "Can You Say...Hero?" first.

I saw the movie with a friend last night. While I usually like to go into a movie knowing little of its plot line, this time was an exception. I went in expecting a light and easy story line with childhood lessons taught by Mister Rogers (aka: Tom Hanks). Though that is an integral part of the message, there is more to this movie.

What I woke up with, was a glimmer of hope for those who spread kindness in our world. In Mister Rogers' case, he spoke directly to children. He talked to them about hard things. He was kind. He cared. He wanted to know people. He didn't judge. He listened in every sense of the word. He realized the power of television and utilized it to perpetuate kindness, acceptance and speak directly to our children.

I thought of those who are spreading kindness, compassion, promoting acceptance and showing the world how small things, multiplied by many become big things.

There are several public figures who come to mind. The list continues to grow as I contemplate that thought. One doesn't need to be famous to make a difference.

My favorite author Glennon Doyle jumps to the front of the line in my mind. Simply because I have followed her blog since before she became who she is still becoming. She has found a way to utilize the Internet as a tool to unite like-minded people to become a force to be reckoned with. Glennon, her Together Rising warriors and those she has teamed up with are making a difference in this world of ours.

Small acts of kindness impact the world. Children are our world's future. Our future begins with those young, impressionable minds. Mister Rogers has created a legacy of caring, listening, hearing and empowering those young minds.

Who is "Mister Rogers" within your world? I have an uncle who tops the list in my mind. I aspire to become more of who I have always known him to be. In a word? Kind. One word doesn't begin to encompass the essence of this most incredible human being who has spread caring and compassion in every memory I hold.

Sisterhood

I'm off to see my sister through marriage today. As I reflect upon the history of that marriage, the good stuff is sifting to the top.

I was young and very alone when I married my husband. I secluded myself from the world around me because I was not comfortable within the world I suddenly found myself in. I was seventeen years old, pregnant and married.

Enter my new sister-in-law. She was elated to know she would be an aunt. I was so wrapped up within my own head at the time I didn't see the gift I received through marriage. A sister. A sister who not only was very close to my own age BUT she also lived in the same city.

This gift would be unwrapped very gradually. Each of us were busy living our own separate lives. At one point in time, we were both separated from our husbands at the same time. That is when I remember a bond starting to form.

We have both been through a lifetime of upheaval between then and now. There has been heart ache and sorrow. There was a time when it was too painful to be close. My sister-in-law's brother was breaking our hearts and she very bravely took a stand. "He's my brother. I'm sorry. I just can't be a part of this."

I have such respect for her for taking a stand and creating boundaries within the relationship we had. There was a time when we simply didn't speak of her brother but as time went on, I came to know her brother as the man she knew and I was able to share some insight of the man I once knew with her.

Her brother/my ex-husband, died yesterday.

My sister-through-marriage decided to go ahead with our original plan to see Oprah. I was honored to walk through this time with her.

I packed up our old wedding album to bring along with me. If I had only known who she would have become to me, she would have been standing at my side that day.

We may not be blood relatives but thanks to the children my husband and I had together, we share a blood bond through my boys. I not only gained two children thanks to my husband, I gained a sister. Better than that, I have a life long friend and we share a bond like no other.

Our marriage may not have been made in heaven but I certainly gained some earthly angels due to that union. And I am grateful.

A Moment in the Sun

I was sitting in a waiting room yesterday and was fortunate enough to be in a spot where I could watch happiness unfold.

There was a dad with his two children between me and those were standing in line. The baby was faced towards those waiting in line. There was a second child (a year older, according to what I overheard) who sat facing the opposite direction but the dad picked up this little girl so she became visible to those who were waiting.

I just sat back and watched the magic.

It started with the face of an older lady lighting up as she smiled, waved and talked quietly to the baby. The smile that lit up this lady's face transformed her. She looked lighter, happier, joyful as I watched a youthful version of herself reappear.

Then it happened again. And again. And again.

Young, old and anywhere in between. The light these two small children brought into the room was awe inspiring.

As I watched those in line light up, I found myself smiling. The reflection of the joy bounced around the room and hit me between the eyes. I now wonder if I was the only one who felt the boomerang effect of the sense of "happy" these two small children brought into the moment.

When the young family left the room, the essence of their presence lessened. But I still felt the moment within me. I wondered about the others who were transformed in the moment.

That little family had no idea of the impact they made in those moments. A ripple effect of joy was cast. One will never know the far reaching effects of that little moment in the sun. I'm grateful I was on the sidelines to watch and record the event.

It was a moment in the sun on a cold and wintry February.

Wafting

After a weekend-well-spent, I am in no real hurry to rush through the paces of life and lose the magic of time spent nestled in among family.

This past weekend was a culmination of the past six years and two months, all wrapped up in one big gift with a bow to be slowly opened and enjoyed all weekend. And beyond...

It was my dad's family reunion. It was the weekend our book of family memories was dispersed. It was a weekend spent under one roof, where our needs were taken care of by the incredible people at Cedar Lodge (http://www.cedarlodge.org/). All we had to do was 'show up'.

We were saddened by those who wanted to come but could not attend. But we were more relieved to know that everyone was where they 'most needed to be' so they could be nurtured and cared for in the best way possible. Sometimes the tender loving care that a family can provide just isn't enough. It is hard to believe but it is true.

I felt like we were all wrapped in the arms of angels. All weekend. The sensation was overpowering and real. I walked into my room in the quiet of the first morning and I felt a 'hug' from beyond this physical plane. I knew in that instant "they are here ... they are with us". And they stayed and mingled all weekend.

You can take those words in whatever capacity you believe in. But to me, even in the most basic, elementary sense, our ancestors are woven into our physical and emotional bodies in the most intricate fashion possible.

Physical resemblances, mannerisms and personality traits are passed down the line unconsciously. I believe the best part of collecting and assembling the memories from both Mom and Dad's families, is the way I find myself woven into the tapestry of both families. I see and feel bits and pieces of myself, my siblings and my parents within the greater whole.

Stealing (and paraphrasing) a line from "Jerry Maguire", I can very openly and honestly say "My family 'completes me'."

I have not found myself looking for the love of my life to complete me. I have found myself within my family and I feel complete. I believe I have finally woven the loose ends of myself back into my soul and I am ready to go on from here.

There are so many stories, memories and anecdotes from this weekend past. I don't want to rush them outside of my memory and onto the page until I've had an opportunity to simply enjoy basking in the glow of being immersed in all-things-family. But I do want to write them down so they withstand the test of time (and lost memories).

I will be back with more. But for now, I am simply wafting gently back down to earth. I am enjoying the view as I make my way back down.

A Quiet Presence

I rolled over in the night and my foot brushed lightly upon the cat who was sleeping (unbeknownst to me) at the foot of my bed.

Our Junior Cat weighs in at over twelve pounds and looks like a big, black panther as he makes his way through our home. What amazes me about this big hulk of a cat, is that he can jump up on something and land as lightly as a feather.

He was too frightened and skittish to jump up on my bed for the first many months that he lived with us. His comfort zone was in my Youngest Son's room and he was very at home within the comfort of that room. On the bed, under the bed, on the couch, in the 'cat house' My Son made out of cardboard boxes. My Youngest Son's room is like a 'home free' zone to our Junior Cat. It is his haven.

Lately, Junior Cat has been gracing me with his presence in the wee hours of the morning. I have turned on the TV to lull me back to sleep and spotted the silhouette of our big, black kitty at the foot of my bed. If he knows I'm awake, he comes up to me and likes it if I pet him. He never snuggles. His relationship is very stand-offish and he likes to be the one who make all the moves.

More recently, I have woke up to find Junior Cat right beside my head, waiting for me to wake up. He isn't a purring sort of cat but often his purrs (at least for me) come early in the morning during those first waking moments. It is as if his guard is down and his purr sneaks out. It is a special time, so I lay there and soak it up when I can.

I think that My Youngest is Junior Cat's chosen person. But he likes me too. He really does. So when I find him 'snuggled' in bed with me (I've never seen a cat that can sleep soundly so close to the edge of a piece of furniture), it makes my heart happy.

Last night, in the middle of the night ... I felt his soft coat of fur as my foot grazed over him. He is a quiet presence but it fills me up inside.

It makes me think of the sense of comfort that I feel when no one else is around. Like quiet presence of our little panther cat who can make such gentle landings that you have no idea he is around ... I feel safe and protected in this little world of mine. It is a happy place to be.

The Fence Project (so close to 'The End')

Our Fence Project has been riddled with delays, excuses, poor workmanship, anxiety and expense that I could not afford from the onset. 

All that I knew for sure, is that I could ill afford to lose my deposit and still have the same old fence. That was ... until I stood to lose all of my deposit and have NO fence. That came very close to becoming my reality.

One week ago:

Thanks to my Knight in Shining Armor and his Associates (I will simply call them all Super Heroes to give credit where credit is due), I have come out the other end of all of this unscathed and more than a little bit grateful.

Today ... 

Everything unfolded so fast that I didn't see it coming until I was knee deep in it. I didn't even realize how much help I needed until I had already been rescued.

One week ago:

Thanks to many, many people who saw the injustice of a company claiming to be professionals, walking off the job and itemizing the reason to withhold the entire deposit, My Son did not work alone all weekend to create this masterpiece:

 

An army of 'angels' walked together this weekend and helped me out before I realized just how much I needed assistance. 

Thankfully the fencing company realized the error of their ways and have offered to repay most of my deposit. 

Thank you does not even begin to cover my gratitude. 

"Everything worked out in the end ..."

Support When Needed

Years and years ago, I was fitted with wrist splints for my carpal tunnel syndrome. I can't remember what it was that triggered my symptoms initially (perhaps housecleaning?!?), but whatever it was must have went away. Because I all but abandoned my wrist splints.

Thankfully, I had them on hand when my thumbs began bothering me shortly after starting my extra-curricular job of delivering flyers.

Sore thumbs?!? What an odd symptom to have. Carrying around up to 50 pounds of papers, walking for an average of an hour and a half, three times a week ... and my thumbs were sore? Odd.

But I remembered that I had those wrist splints sitting in a drawer somewhere and I have been wearing them religiously each night for quite some time now. In fact, I have almost wore them out. One of them broke where the support goes between my thumb and index finger, so I have been hot gluing, duct taping, and wrapping and gluing whatever I think may adhere to the surface so that I can keep wearing this splint.

A few nights ago, my temporary fix broke in the middle of the night. I completely forgot to attempt to re-glue it the next morning so when I went to bed I decided to fore go the splints. Maybe they weren't making a difference after all. This would be a test ...

... it was only a test. My wrists and hands were not happy that night without the comfort of those rigid splints. My hands were tingly and uncomfortable any time I woke up. First thing the next morning, I was determined to try to come up with a 'fix' for my broken splint that would get me through the night.

Last night, I slipped my hands into the 'comfort' of my splints. It was like coming home again. Ahhh. The relief was incredible. It is hard to believe that something so hard and rigid spells relief. But it does.

Every time I woke up during the night to roll over, I quite literally sighed with relief. My wrists and hands were so, so very comfortable. I couldn't help but appreciate the support that I had when I needed it the most.

My thoughts became more tangible the closer I got to morning. I couldn't help but correlate the quiet support of these splints, to the support I have (and need) in my life-in-general.

There are times that I become an island. I think what I need is isolation. What I don't realize until I've gone through the quietness alone, is that just like those wrist splints ... it is nice to know that I have that support when it is needed.

To my friend who runs a daycare in her home five hours away from me ... you have no idea what a lifeline you are to me. We chatter about nothing in the midst of our kid-filled days once every week or so. She completely and totally gets it when I say that I am ripping my hair out one minute in my child-oriented day ... and over-the-moon happy the next.

To my friends who I manage to see on a semi-regular basis. Sometimes more than others. Each and every one of you sustains me. You are a piece to the puzzle that I am sometimes missing. We bounce words off of each other and quietly stand at each other's side in support and friendship.

To my family that I tend to ignore when life gets busy ... but I know that you are there. Always. A heartbeat away. It is like knowing that I had those wrist splints in my dresser drawer. There is a sense of security in knowing that you have my back.

My life is seasoned with gentle support. Sometimes I need a little. Sometimes I need a lot. I hope to do my best to nurture what I have so that I don't lose what I have.

As it is with my broken wrist splints, maintenance is necessary. You will lose what you have if you don't take care of it and fix it when it's broken...

Ask ... and You Shall Receive

I love my weekends!!

I am enjoying this life where I am not racing against the clock. I accomplished a lot more in the days when I felt the need to schedule the day so that I could fit everything into it. But this Life of Leisurely Living is quite enjoyable once you get the hang of it.

I walked everywhere I had to go on Saturday. I walked for (almost) two hours. I enjoy walking. It is quiet. I let my mind wander. I am finding the peace that I have been seeking when I walk. I need to walk more. I believe this is the the quiet place that I have needed lately. And ... my feet don't hurt!! The combination of good fitting shoes and my orthotics is a good one. I have my feet again! And this is good.

I have committed myself to a few things lately. Small things. A sign language class and Zumba classes. I don't love going to either class. But I am coming to realize that I need to push myself into doing uncomfortable things in my leisure time and succeed, so that I can take that courage and apply it to my Monday to Friday world. I have learned that uncomfortable is a good thing to overcome. Saturday, I attended both classes. And I felt like a school girl at the end of the second class. The rest of the weekend was mine, to do with as I pleased!

In this life of walking, exercising and sweating ... a shower has taken on a new meaning. It feels so good to feel clean and fresh after actually getting dirty. A shower is refreshing no matter what way you look at it, but it is somehow more rewarding to scrub off a little bit of sweat, dust and grime of a day well spent. And now that my hairstyle is finally one that requires little to no primping, washing my hair is not the chore that it used to be. So I don't avoid getting dirty the way that I did when I had High Maintenance Hair. This is very good indeed!

Saturday nights are not what they used to be. Saturday nights as a newly single person used to be tough because they reminded me of what my new life lacked. It has been so long since I felt that 'loss', that Saturday nights have become a night like any other. But this past Saturday night was kind of special. My Oldest dropped by for a visit. A friend that I hadn't talk with for a while called. My Saturday night was complete and I didn't have to do a thing but show up. I like when life comes to me ... sometimes I just don't have the energy to go out and meet it half way. I've been feeling a lot of that lately. So Saturday night was perfect. I don't mind spending the evening with my own company, but the pleasure is doubled when shared with a friend.

Sunday was to be a day of brainstorming and coming up with a plan. Instead, it was day that took on a life of its own once it got started. It was another day that I just had to show up for. It was a day when breakfast was ready and waiting for me, the moment I got up and felt ready to face the world. It was a day of easy conversation. It was a day when a few people in my world reached out to me at a time when I just didn't have the energy to find them. It was a day when my written correspondence seemed to have the words that weren't coming to me before. Perhaps it was because people that know me well gave me the springboard I needed to think the thoughts and say the words that I had been stifling.

Sunday was a day of small miracles. I received everything I needed and asked for. As if to accentuate the point, I wrote of my financial shortfall for the upcoming month and named a specific dollar amount that I was lacking. Tell me this is not a sign of Powers Greater Than Myself, when within the hour, the doorbell rang and my shortfall was covered. I quietly smiled to myself and thought '... everything is going to be okay. Ask ... and you shall receive.'

I ended the weekend with a letter to my mom. I had just talked with her on the phone, so I quite honestly didn't have a lot to write about. But she has come to expect my weekly letters to arrive on time (otherwise this is a sign that all is not well in my world and she worries), so I wrote to her anyway.

It was as I wrote her letter, that the weekend ended exactly the way I needed it to. And (as it so often happens) once I let my fingers do the talking, I found the answer I was seeking. I now know where I need to start. And I know how much I need to do this. I have a plan. I must follow through ... and once I do this, I have a strong feeling that the rest of my answers will reveal themselves to me.

The brainstorming idea that I had planned for the day blew out the window in lieu of a day where prayers were answered and opportunies arose where I could just write and talk my way through.

It was another weekend that unfolded perfectly. A weekend that was full of everything that I needed. I feel energized, inspired and ready to take on the week.

A Happy Ending

What a way to bring in 2011!! With a good news story!!

I already have a follow-up story to the last (not so good story) post of 2010. I accidentally mailed my ATM deposit. A deposit which held all of my 'Christmas Gift' money and other. Cash which would have paid a quarter of my monthly bills.

A most helpful employee of the store right by the mailbox (which also houses a 'post office' department) made all the calls she could on Friday, to no avail. Everything was closed down for the holiday long weekend. She left messages for me, but there was little else she could do. I would have to wait until Tuesday before the post office opened again.

Long story short, I was able to contact some employees at the Canada Post today. On a Sunday! The manager offered to retrieve my deposit from the mailbox today. All I had to provide were details about what I 'mailed' and my identification.

I asked my New Hero if I could somehow repay him for his kindness. I came armed with gift cards, cash ... anything to say 'thank you'. He politely declined but mentioned that there has been so much bad press about Canada Post lately, that what he would appreciate most would be a letter to our local paper. Done!!!

That is all good. It makes me warm, happy and extremely grateful. But it is the opportunity that 'life' offered me (almost simultaneously) as this was unfolding, is what brings me the greatest joy. The opportunity to pay it forward.

I was able to help a young girl back 'home'. She was stranded 150 kms away from home without a way back ...

As I was waiting for my own Hero, I had the opportunity to pay it forward even before I knew what the result of my own predicament would be.

This poor girl simply asked "Which way is (home)?" She was shivering, shaking and bravely wiping tears away from her cheeks as we spoke. I asked her if she was driving. She said no, she was walking. At that point she did ask if she could borrow my phone.

She called her mom and after she hung up, she told me her mom was mad. I replied that she was probably more worried than anything. It was at that point, I felt the need to 'mother' this young girl.

I had a spare pair of gloves to offer this girl and I suggested that she run in and buy herself a hot chocolate while we waited. And that I would drive her to the bus depot.

As luck would have it, her bus back 'home' was departing an hour after I dropped her off at the bus station. I bought her a ticket, suggested that she call her mom one more time so that she knew she was on her way home and I gave her enough money to buy some lunch while she waited.

She told me her mom said 'thanks', smiled and then she hugged me. I told her that I just hoped if it was my daughter, someone would do the same.

To think that an hour before all of this unfolded, I was worried about retrieving my lost Christmas Cash. And to find out less than 60 minutes later, the relief of having my bank deposit back in my hands paled in comparison to the coincidence which brought 'Summer' and I together at the same place, at the same time. I felt much more grateful to help a young girl back home, than I did to find what was lost to me for a few days.

Today was the best gift of the season. One good deed done unto me. And the opportunity to pay it forward.

I Believe ...

I am told my true belief in Santa Claus comes from a time when my sister dressed up as The Big Man himself, and came right to our door. I saw Santa Claus with my own eyes and have had little reason to doubt his existence ever since.

Another time, I was rambling on to some friends and I told them (something to the effect of) that if I found a gift from Santa under my tree, that I would believe. Once again, my belief in Mr. Claus came true. True to form, my anonymous 'Santa' delivered a sock full of treats to my mailbox that Christmas.

I have many reasons to believe. The small miracles that unfold before me as I live my day to day life. The insurmountable road blocks that have made the impossible ... possible, as I forged my way into new territory at different turning points in my life.

Sometimes I know who my 'Santa' is ... other times he/she has been a nameless entity. I truly believe that there are some times that I haven't even realized that there has been an invisible force that has opened doors, kept me safe, guided me and rewarded me in ways that I haven't even truly acknowledged.

My most recent 'Santa Claus' (that I am aware of) made my wish of new dance shoes become a reality. It amazes me how these small miracles keep finding their way into my life.

There is something a little bit magical about the whole idea of not knowing. There is a frustration within the mystery, because you don't know who to thank or how to express your heartfelt amazement of such a gift. Because I didn't know who to thank, I told my story to many ... expressing my wonder and gratitude over and over. Surely, if I told everyone I knew about my Secret Santa the True Giver would hear my gratitude and know that their gift was received in the manner in which it was given and that I was grateful beyond words.

I sometimes sit back and wonder about the Pixie Dust that has been sprinkled over my life. How can so many good things happen to one person? How can the miracles keep revealing themselves to me? How many angels do I have watching over me?

To my angels that walk the earth and beyond ... thank you.

Angels All Around Me

As I ended the weekend, I found a comment from a relative about the family history/story that I'm putting together. It never ceases to amaze me that every single time I get a little overwhelmed on projects like these, I get reinspired when I least expect it.

I often follow through on contacting someone who keeps surfacing to the top of my consciousness and it amazes me just how often that person was either thinking of calling me or just how well timed that phone call (or email or letter) was, to the person on the receiving end.

That is what I love about the written word. You can write up a note or email and the person on the receiving end can open it up and read it when they have time. Something in writing can be read, reread and saved to reread at a later date.

That doesn't undermine the value of a phone call or a visit. In this world where it seems that everyone is eternally busy, I am always very conscious of trying not to call at a bad time. But there is such a value in hearing a person's voice, having a two way conversation and immediate response to your contact.

A friend called out of the blue last night and her voice radiated through the phone line like a ray of sunshine. She is a friend that is eternally busy, but someone that I felt an immediate connection to when we met. Our lives have gone in 2 separate directions, but every time our paths cross we pick up from where we last left off and we are off and running. I am blessed to have many friends like that.

Angels all around me ... inspire and encourage me when I need it the most. Little does a person know that a well timed phone call, letter, visit or email can make such a vast difference in another person's life.