Zero Day

This is one of my favorite days of the month. The day when I check all my credit card balances, after my month-end budget requirement of paying off every last penny spent during the month, and seeing $0.00 across the board.

I've had a low-key fall and winter. Very little extra spending. The necessities of life were all I needed while I hibernated (as much as I could) and spent the winter looking ahead and planning out my hopes and dreams list.

It could be the 15th of the month before I had spent a penny. Those credit cards would sit at zero, often until their next statement date, before I started creating my next pay-to-zero-at-the-end-of-the-month total.

Spring has sprung and so has the spending. I'm ready. I have never had money left at the end of the month before EVER before in the history of my memory of budgeting. I've been squirreling away the excess, waiting for this day. The day the hopes and dreams list begin to take on a life of their own.

April was a fruitful month - getting paid for the bookkeeping job that stole a small part of my peace of mind PLUS an income tax refund entirely covered the cost of my shed-so-far. Lovely. 

It feels a little bit heavenly to spend within one's means. Balancing to zero. Squirreling away those "acorns" for future spending projects.

Zero is my favorite number. In the accounting world, balancing to zero is the ultimate goal. All of the time. Remitting a payment for one of the many quarterly or annual payments that were due and receiving the receipt with the number $0.00 in the amount owing box. Checking my credit card balances and seeing $0.00; $0.00; $0.00; $0.00 (yes! I have far too many credit cards - I blame the credit card rewards) across the board.

Paying off a debt and finally seeing the magic number $0.00 as an account balance. There is nothing quite like it.

I'm reminded of a comedian my son once quoted to me. The context of their bit was they worked so hard to pay off their debts and all they have to show for it is "zero".  Zero is good. It is all positive after that point. Or it could be. If we weren't human and already had our eye on the next item on our wish list.

Dad once told me that a person will never be satisfied. You'll think "If I could just get one [next thing] and I'll be set ... but then you'll want the next thing. And the next." It is human nature.

I'm sitting at zero today but that will change in a New York Minute. For this brief moment in the sun, I shall revel in my Zero Day.

Numbers

I can tell I have recovered from the tax season when my own personal budgeting and financial spreadsheets pique my interest again.

I have spent a lot of money this month. I have earned just as much. I was delighted when I realized the payment received for doing the bookkeeping job that has felt oh-so-hard-to-do covered most of my extravagances. 

I can't wait to sit down and let the hours disappear when I play around with different financial scenarios. Could I afford to work three days a week? How much does small town living really cost? How much should I be saving?

The more my head is intrigued by numbers, the less interesting the words that fall off my fingertips become. I am in spreadsheet mentality this morning. The words aren't coming.

Numbers and playing around with different ideas of where I really want to invest time, effort and money. Do I invest more into this two-story little house with a forest of pine trees surrounding the immense amount of yard and driveway I adore? Or do I consider the idea of searching for a more suitable bungalow with less outside maintenance?

The best part about playing around with numbers, mapping out different scenarios, creating a hopes and dreams list is it doesn't cost a penny. Until one makes a decision.

I love to dream. I may sit here in my little home surrounded by big pine trees (a handful of which have died and need to go), look out my windows as I look towards my tomorrows. 

Investing in my non-existent grandchildren (see yesterday's post) isn't an option. So I'll have to come up with other ideas.

Spiralling

I'm in a thought spiral this morning, so I reverted to my old ways of managing the words spinning around in my head. I grabbed a pen and paper. 

Seeing the words on a piece of paper has a way of taming them. You can see you aren't thinking about a million different things - you are more likely to be thinking of a small number of things in a million different ways.

I started with the topic front and foremost in my mind, made bullet points about my thoughts, concerns, potential action plans and what was or wasn't within my control.

I came up with eight main focuses of concern. Five of these are ongoing. Three are new. Some are inter-connected (ie: our cat's chronic mucous-spewing sneezing is impacting my house-keeping abilities). Money is a common thread throughout most of my ongoing worries.

Note the white spots - I have discovered our cat's mucous bubbles up when sprayed with hydrogen peroxide. This is a section of the floor I washed up after supper last night. The knowledge that this is all over our floors, walls, doors and furniture is causing great angst. 

Work is taking up the number one spot of my anxieties, inter-connected with and followed closely by money. This is not a surprise. I have taken action and handed in my notice, which has compounded the troubles instead of lessening them.

I started a clean page titled "TODAY". I itemized that which must be done, will be done and can be done today. 

Breaking things down into manageable pieces. It is about all we can do. It is what we must do in order to take the next step forward.

I admit that "shower" is one of the items on today's to-do-list. These must-do items may be as small as that which, depending on the day, is a big thing. 

I endeavor to keep my regular list of must-do's pretty basic:

• Get out of bed
• Make the bed
• Wash my glasses
• Make my morning smoothie/coffee
• Wash my smoothie glass/coffee cup
• Clean cat litter/refresh cat water

That's it. I make it a rule to keep my bed made, the kitchen counter and sink empty and clean, tend to our cats and THEN do one hard thing at a time.

Work is hard. Extra-curricular housecleaning is hard. Running errands, leaving the house, going to appointments are all hard. Some phone calls are hard. 

Lately, when the going gets tough, the tough turns on Netflix. So you know what? I gave myself the gift of one more month of grocery delivery. For the small cost of $9.96 per month, I can let someone else shop, pack up and deliver my groceries for me. Winter has finally arrived and our temperatures have dipped to -28º this morning. I will forfeit something else in order to allow myself this indulgence.

What gift to you give yourself when the going gets tough? We all need a little something to pick us up at times. Give yourself a break today. You deserve it.

2024 Price Check

I don't know which obsession is taking up the most space in my brain - new calendars for the year 2024, or the ability to check prices over the course of the past few years.

My calendar needs are pretty basic. One wall calendar for personal use; one desk calendar for business use; one daytimer for business use. Amen. End of story. End of my needs.

I have received a wall calendar annually thanks to being on a high school reunion mailing list. It is the perfect size; the boxes allow enough room to make notations; and it is FREE. It wins first prize for all my needs. The only pitfall is it didn't arrive until the last week of December, so I panicked and picked up a calendar for $1.25 at the dollar store. It was much bigger than needed, took up too much space on the wall and (worst of all!), I spent $15.54 on unnecessary chocolates and treats when I bought my cheap calendar. I wasted time and money on an unnecessary purchase. 

Calendars to the left - total cost $7.75 + taxes + $95 (!!) extracurricular spending while in the dollar store in search of a bargain priced calendar.

Calendars to the right - FREE!! delivered to me in the mail, with no added costs.

Meanwhile, my obsession with the higher costs of living these days had me comparing prices between calendars purchased over the years.

2023/2024 - $1.50 NO increase

2022/2023/2024 - $3.50 NO increase

The moral of the story seems to be:

 "Keep some prices the same to lure customers into the store and spend their money on impulse buys".

They got me hook, line and sinker. Fool me once - shame on them. Fool me twice (or three times, as I am almost certain I didn't buy the 2022/2023 calendars without overspending) shame on me.

I know better. In 2024, I will try harder.

The only consolation I have, is the number of times I talked myself out of take-out, which most likely countered the impulse purchases (aka: cookies, chocolate & chips - the 3 deadly C's). 

My average monthly take-out spending has decreased by $100 monthly since COVID (yes, I keep track of these things), 

so all things considered my obsession with calendars over the years probably balances out in the end.

Just my meandering thoughts this morning. 

Carry on!

Easy Come, Easy Go

I got a bill for $19.00 last week, to renew one of our cat's licenses.

I received a cheque in the mail yesterday for $18.86.

The number of times this has happened within my budgeting world are too numerous to mention. 

What I have noticed is when I watch my spending carefully, the income to expense ratio is often offset.

Our second cat's license will be forthcoming within the next month or so. 

If I don't receive a cash bonus to offset this expense, maybe it's time for the cat to move out...

Budgeting verses Increasing Costs of Living

So, have you heard the price of gas went up again? This is becoming the newest well worn phrase, replacing talk about the weather.

Would you rather talk about gas prices or weather? I'm not a fan of either topic. My go-to response is "How are you coping with [insert gas costs or current weather issue]?"

My strategy is (and always has been) struggling to ensure my expenses do not exceed my income. Either cut down spending or increase income. Is there anything to be sold? Is there a more economical way to manage what we have? Using power, water and heating frugally. What spending can be slashed? 

When gas prices started inching up, I played the game well. I utilized Air Miles incentives at their sponsored gas station. All I had to do was fill up three times within a month to receive 100 bonus Air Miles. Then one can redeem 95 of those Air Miles for $10.00 off any Air Miles purchase at their affiliated stores. I have cashed in $50.00 of those miles since January and I'm one gas fill up away from my next $10.00 bonanza.

My credit cards accumulate points which can either go towards payment of the credit card balance or a purchase at the store which is associated with the card. I have recently added a new card which has offered a savings of 25 cents per litre for the first 10 fill ups using the card. I have loyalty cards where I shop the most. 

It is a game and I play it (fairly) well. At the moment, I have about $100.00 worth of points I can utilize to subsidize the increasing costs of living.

Groceries have always been my go-to budget slashing item. I have gotten lazy over the course of time and have defaulted to buying whatever I please. I shop at the most economical store I know of to ensure overall, I'm paying as low a price as possible (not always true but it tends to work out to saving $5.00 to $6.00 per $50.00 spent). Granted, due to the knowledge I'm saving money, I have a tendency to over-spend at this very store so I'm still spending more than I should.

The benefit of online grocery shopping is you can play around with the items in your cart and ensure you don't exceed your budgeted amount. The ability to add, remove, change and alter your order without physically walking up and down the aisles with a calculator in hand is a huge benefit. Something I haven't utilized. Yet. But the day is coming (or already has come and gone and I missed the memo). It may take more time but this could save money each and every time I shop.

So far, the only grocery budgeting strategy I have managed to date is due to my "intentional eating" mandate. I have stopped allowing myself to grab a bag of chips and eat in front of the TV so I can stay awake longer. No eating while watching TV is my rule. I have not limited what I can eat or how much I can eat. I simply altered HOW I eat. I must eat without distraction. I am three weeks into this resetting of my mindset and I can tell you one thing. Eating chips without watching TV is the furthest thing from my mind. I am easily saving a three-bag-a-week chip habit. Plus, I have stopped drinking my favorite diet cola beverage in lieu of water (flavored water using drink crystals which we already have, but I'm trying). I used to drink a one litre bottle of pop every other day or so. So add my pop savings to my chip savings and it equals a weekly savings of $12.36 according to today's bargain store pricing. 

My take-out food habit has been reined in by driving out to my weekend oasis location. Recent take-out spending has amounted to less than $50 per month. When I spend weekends in the city it is almost guaranteed we will order take-out food at least once, easily doubling that amount. My old spending habits easily averaged $100.00 per month or more.

Current monthly spending habits equal cashing in on $10.00 worth of Air Miles by playing by the rules of current promotions + almost $50.00 in chips & pop + $50.00 take-out reduction = $110.00 per month. 

And this ... is how I justify the gas it costs to drive an extra 250 km per week to spend time at my weekend rejuvenation destination. Unfortunately the cost to fill my gas tank (compared to last year's prices) has increased by approximately $33.00 per fill up X 4 times per month = a cost increase of  $132.00 per month so I still need to find a way to slash $22.00 monthly spending. 

What can be slashed? Do we need Netflix ($18.30) AND Amazon Prime ($11.09)? No. Do I NEED the extra channel package on my cable TV ($8.88)? Not without the ability to stay awake without eating chips, I don't. I just "found" another $20.00 I could save. 

I have slashed "going out for coffee with a friend" from my expenses. Holidays? I have one possible destination in mind but I have been saving $100 per month for just such an occasion so IF I make a decision, it has already been factored in. Thanks to previous COVID restrictions, I have lost my desire to go to see a movie, attend live theatre, a weekend day trip to meet up with someone halfway between our homes or any of my previous ideas of a fun outing. I'm saving all kinds of money by holding onto those restrictions on an ongoing basis.

The question is: Am I still living a memorable life while slashing "all of the above"? 

My answer is: Thanks to my little home away from home on the weekends, I have added value to my weekends where I am restored by spending time in my little oasis where my recreational vices are spending time/walking with my sister; cooking/cleaning/puttering around our little home; and the joy of having a cousin move in six houses from my little weekend retreat. I have found a way to justify the cost of gas and it doesn't feel like I've sacrificed a thing. 

I stepped away from this post in progress to make myself a smoothie. With each and every cupboard, fridge and freezer door I opened I marveled at the privilege I have. A fully stocked kitchen with back up supplies. The ability to replenish what we have. The precarious notion of a guaranteed income. An income stream which could change in a New York Minute.

I am trying so very hard to be vigilant with spending as I know the fine line between life-as-I-know-it and how life-could-be should circumstances change.

What are your coping strategies? Have rising costs of living stilted your way of life or have you been fortunate enough to add value to your life by cutting corners in a way where you don't feel the burden of filling up your gas tank? Have you managed to find small ways to make a difference? Or has this added fuel to the fire of a budget already stretched beyond its limitations?

Enough said. Tomorrow, I'd like to write about rabbits again. Okay?

Could this be a sign that ever goes by the wayside?

Back to 1978

I couldn't shred history without taking a sneak peek at a few statistics that interest me. 

The year I was about to shred was 1978 - the year I married and had my first child. So I stopped and pulled out a few documents:

Dad's rate of pay - $6.30 per hour

Christmas bonus - $50.00

Interest rate on a 2 year Guaranteed Investment Certificate - 10.25%

Electricity, water, telephone bill - $39.08

Heating bill - $26.13

Long distance rate - $0.46 per minute (after 6 p.m.)

Hmmm ... let's compare that to 2021 statistics I have on hand:

Minimum wage - $11.45/hr (note: a full time wage of $21.16 = annual salary of $44,012.80, which is considered the lowest end of the middle class tax bracket in Canada)

Christmas bonus - a $50 bonus beats $0.00 every time

2 year GIC (at the same institution) - 0.50%

2021 - monthly bills based on my equalized payment amounts:

Electricity - $114.00

Water - $90.00

Heat - $80.00

Telephone - $25.00

Long distance rate - $0.05 per minute any time of day

 

Dad's net pay biweekly cheque was $480.00 ($1,040 monthly)

Monthly bills totaled $75.00 (7% of his monthly wage)

His Christmas bonus was almost 5% of his monthly wage

A $1,500 investment earned $153.75 (at today's rate of interest you would earn $7.50)

Interesting math, no matter what way you spin it. How do your finances stand up to this 1978 comparison? 

Life was simpler back in 1978, or so it would seem by today's standards. We can't go back in time but it's interesting to take a peek every now and again.

Time Flies

I have discovered the secret to making the months fly by is to become a bookkeeper, an accountant or any line of work that has monthly deadlines. Add working from home to the mix and these COVID months have flown by so fast I am one of the rare few who wouldn't mind going back to the beginning of all of this and doing it all over again.

Why in the world would a person want time to go by so fast? In all my years of saving, budgeting and paying off debt, "pay day" was the day of the month I most anticipated. It was the day I could knock a few more dollars off my debt load, pay off the bills and bring myself back to zero, or add to my savings (the savings part goes back to my younger, B.D. - Before Debt years). 

It doesn't matter how much or how little I make; how high or low my debt load is; or how comfortable my life should be financially, I tend to find myself recreating scarcity when it comes to my finances.

When I was working full time, paying for daycare, upgrading my wardrobe, putting more dollars into car maintenance and all the costs associated with working I always felt broke. When a window opened where it seemed like I could breathe a little easier, I added retirement savings, insurance and a regular savings plan to my budgeting scheme to ensure all annual bills were anticipated and ready to pay to recreate the feeling of never having quite enough. 

When I opened my daycare, I didn't earn enough to pay the bills at first. I dipped into my RRSP to shingle the roof. I withdrew the un-locked portion of my pension to make ends meet. I did what it took to keep the bills paid. There was no room for saving but I was at home and paying the bills. I was rich in all the ways that mattered. Just not financially.

Eventually, my daycare income became stable enough to sustain our household expenses. Once again I found ways to return to the feeling of scarcity in the budget. Whether it was house repairs or simply extra-curricular spending, I always seemed to find a way to feel like I was one pay cheque away from financial ruin.

Then came The Year of Mom. The year I ran out to Mom's whenever the need or desire arose. My employment situation was flexible enough to allow for me to take time off and go on a whim. This unpaid time off was subsidized by another pension fund withdrawal. I made it work despite the hit to my income.

I should have been on easy street from that point forward but there was the Year of Fly Away Vacations, followed by the Year of Renovations. At each and every juncture I spent just a little more than I had. 

I juggled here and there to keep balancing to zero but at the end of last year's renovations I was officially $5,000.00 in the hole. 

I thought I was in a place where I could easily pay it off in five, $1,000.00 monthly installments. I was so wrong. My annual savings account where I carefully allotted a set monthly amount to cover the larger annual expenses went by the wayside several years ago. One unexpected expense after another delayed my payment strategy. Now that the months are flying by and I have no incoming invitations and life's expenses have become predictable and manageable my debt will be paid in full tomorrow. Yay!!

This will be followed by paying my taxes, then saving for house insurance and car plates/insurance BUT if no unexpected expenses arise, I could be back in the driver's seat of managing my finances by November.

This is a big "if". There are so many unknown variables. In the meantime, I'm grateful for the speed with which I turn over a new calendar page. With each page, comes the hope that I'm one month closer to financial ease. 

Time flies when you are meeting deadlines.

Good Things Will Come

As I dipped into my revolving supply of morning smoothie ingredients and was quietly grateful for that which is "on tap" within our home on a regular basis, I felt my gratitude multiplied this morning.

Many, many (many) decades ago an acquaintance mentioned her parent's habit of always keeping an extra of everything they used regularly on hand. When their spare item was taken from its place in the pantry, it was immediately replaced. Thus, they always had a ready supply of all regularly used items on hand.

I immediately incorporated "keeping a revolving inventory on hand" into my way of living and budgeting. Any time someone took the last item from our stock, they were supposed to write it on the list so I knew to replace it. This way of shopping has served us well over the years.

Add "budgeting" into this formula and there are times when I'm waiting for the next pay cheque or credit card cut off date before I replenish my supplies. That was exactly were I landed last Friday.

I have been working hard to spend within my allotted budget amount. In order to succeed, I had to wait until Friday to do my shopping. Add the fact that "self isolating" is a way of life for me. I live for weekends where my car doesn't have to leave the garage.  The fact that I had plans to go out that night resulted in shopping at 10 p.m. on a Friday night. Not my favorite place in the world to be. Ever. Let alone in the midst of a time where scarcity is ruling the world as we know it.

I have been very calm, level headed and practical about all the advisories during this time of the COVID-19 Virus. I have read or heard in more than one place: "Everything we need to know, we learned in Kindergarten". Share, don't hog the toys, be kind to one another, protect others when you cough, wash your hands, wash your hands and wash your hands. Stay home if you are sick. And as Glennon Doyle taught me, "do the next right thing".

If we all follow these simple instructions, hopefully we can slow the spread of this virus.

Then I found myself in a Walmart at 10 p.m. on a Friday night, when it should have been close to abandoned. It was busy. The shelves were bare. I had a hard time finding the items on my list to replenish my revolving supply of household goods and groceries.

Yes. I felt the anxiety that is running rampant. I came home to find my son reverberating a different version of the same reality. The university cancelled classes. This is real.

Remember what you learned in Kindergarten. Be kind. Be considerate. Share. Wash your hands often. Plus one amendment to those rules ... give everyone their space and learn to appreciate alone time. This is the breeding ground of great ideas, imagination, creativity and listening to the quiet within the world you may find.

I believe this will get much worse before it gets better. I hear glimmers of hope all around me. Some good will come. I have heard it said that this is giving our earth a chance to breathe. This is a rude awakening ... but it is never so bad that it couldn't be worse.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to our health care system and providers. Thank you, thank you, thank you to those who work in the front lines and are exposed to hundreds upon hundreds of people on a daily basis. I can't begin to think that you are bearing the brunt of people's fear and anxiety. Thank you, thank you, thank you to truck drivers and those in the delivery field. We are so very fortunate to have you in our corner.

Please be mindful, considerate and kind. In times of great uncertainty, please let kindness win.

Taking Care of the Pennies

Another month has ended and we are one month closer to spring. Unfortunately our days will get shorter before they start lengthening but here we are. November 1st. The dawn of a new calendar page.

With the end of the month comes a renewed state of reviewing my financial well being. It could be better. It could be worse. This week in particular, I am pleased with how I have managed my cash flow.

It all started with some of the most uncomfortable pillows I have owned to date. I have awoken (with a stiff neck) to a SmartSilk pillow paid advertisement more times than I can remember. Nothing speaks to a sore neck better than the promise of a miracle pillow. These pillows are not cheap so I never did take the leap of faith but I have always been intrigued.

Enter "Costco" and the companies who set up shop in their aisles, along with Costco's money back guarantee. The SmartSilk salesman made his pitch. The pillow was on sale for half price. Plus you get a second pillow free. All for the cost of $99.99. I still wasn't sold until he told me there was a money back guarantee. That promise closed the deal.

I purchased these pillows over a month ago. I was brainwashed by the advertising I had heard. I thought I must be sleeping on them wrong because my neck was still stiff. I plumped the pillows. I slept on them on their side. I flipped them over throughout the night. No luck. AND they were heavy and didn't fit in my pillow case. They were (in a word) annoying.

Finally, I woke up with a sore neck for the last time. I scrunched the pillows back into the miniature bag they came in, found my receipt and headed off to Costco. True to the salesman's promise, they refunded my money without question. Thank you, Costco!

I scoured the pillow aisle for the pillow my sister recommended. I couldn't find the one she suggested but for the bargain price of two down-like filled pillows for $17.99, I thought "What can I lose?" The answer? Not a thing!

My returned pillows covered the cost of my new pillows plus all my Costco shopping for the day. Returned pillows minus my new pillows gave me $91.02!! Plus I very much like my new pillows. They are light, fit in my pillow cases and I can scrunch them up to make them work good enough. My neck stiffness has not miraculously been cured but it is definitely no worse.

My second good financial decision was when I noticed my cell phone bill increased by $11.11 for no apparent reason. Upon further investigation I discovered they deleted the special promotion for a $10 credit they had been applying each month. My contract has run out and I wondered if I offered to sign up for a new contract, if they would reinstate my $10.00 promotion. The rep who answered my call could only advise me to check in again with them on Black Friday to see what promotions may be available. But in the meantime, he happily credited my bill the $11.11 I was not expecting. Thank you very much, Bell Canada!

One would think I couldn't do any better. But I did.

I decided to get a flu shot last night and as I wandered the aisles in the store afterwards (they recommended staying in the store for a while in case there was a reaction to the shot), I actually listened to the announcement. Not only was it Senior's Day (20% off) but if you spent $50.00 or more, you would receive a $10.00 gift card. Hmmmm.....

I read that my health insurance will cover the cost of a blood pressure machine if it is prescribed by your doctor. I asked my doctor about it and since I have high blood pressure she wrote the prescription without hesitation. I have been carrying this around with me for months. Then last night's offer sounded like the perfect time to take the plunge. The blood pressure monitor was $69.99, less 20% ($14.00), plus the $10.00 gift card equals a bargain any which way you look at it. If my insurance covers it, it will be a 100% bonus. Thank you, Shoppers Drug Mart!!

My savings this week are $91.02 + $11.11 + $14.00 + $10.00 = $126.13. Granted, I spent $67.19 on the blood pressure monitor so technically it cost me $67.19 to save $126.13 (or in other words, I saved only $91.02 + $11.11 = $102.13). But any which way I look at things, I made some good financial choices this week.

Look after the pennies and the dollars take care of themselves. Listen to announcements while shopping and there may be a bargain with your name on it. If you are unhappy with a product, return it. Take advantage of what your insurance covers. Watch your bills carefully. Call. Ask. Investigate. I could have been told, "I'm sorry but we cannot help you" but I would have never known if I hadn't asked.

The world has been very generous to me this week. I could have moaned and whined about my stiff neck. I could have complained that my cell phone bill increased. I could have continued to carry the prescription for a blood machine monitor in my purse and not utilized it. But I didn't. And I am grateful.

The Day of Reckoning

After all is said and done, I can now sit still and look at the "numbers" part of this renovation equation.

I have played with my finances all morning and I can quite honestly say that no debt was incurred in order to pull off this Renovation of the Year.

There has been a bit of a juggling act as I robbed Peter to pay Paul, then paid Paul back but had to borrow from his cousin Patrick. Then there is that nasty guy (let's call him Percival) who would like his share of the Income Tax dollars and I'm still juggling the numbers to make them work.

I am accustomed to making my dollars stretch. It doesn't seem to matter how much or how little expendable cash I have at the end of the month, I seem to create "scarcity" in my budget. It's just how I roll.

As I dealt with a finite number in my savings account, I fought to stay within the perimeters of my allotted renovation budget. This is a far cry from how I tend to think when I'm using credit to finance my wishes. With "credit", comes a thought process (if you are like me) that sounds a little bit like this: "I already owe $__,___.00, so what's a little more?"

When dealing with credit, it is a slippery slope. There is still a finite amount of dollars available to charge up but when one isn't draining a bank account, it is harder to put the brakes on spending.

Even though our home has sustained a substantial amount of renovating, it still has a long way to go before all of its needs are met. I could borrow money to finish the job but I kiboshed that idea pretty quickly. If I started borrowing funds, I could start overspending far too easily.

Moving our existing furniture back upstairs after the renovation was a little anticlimactic. Even though everything from floor to ceiling was refurbished, our preexisting furnishings took the shine off of everything that was new.

My oldest son walked in, commented that this renovation was long overdue and, without taking a breath, added "Now you need a new table ..."

No. I don't. I have everything I need. The "wants" can come at a later date, after the remaining list of things-to-be-done are complete and paid for.

My extra curricular spending after the renovation was complete consisted of mats for the front and back door entrances and closets; a new white fire alarm; and a new wall phone (our previous one had a few non-working issues).

This doesn't mean my wish list is empty. It means I am restraining the spending until my income taxes and new front door are paid in full. Priorities.

I sat outside with our cats the other morning and found my old "dream folder". I enjoyed crossing many items off my previous wish list, while still dreaming of all that is left to be done.

Dad once told me it is human nature to always want more than you have. You think you "just" want one thing. Then when you attain that goal, you automatically set your sights on the next thing. I think of his words and his wisdom every time I reach a point such as this.

You were so right, Dad. Yes, I am thrilled to have done all we have done!! But now ... I just want to do a little more.

"Keep on dreaming, girl! It is truly the best way to live a life. Keep your eyes set on the future and anything becomes possible."

New Dilemmas

I'm stepping into new territory here. It is mostly okay but I am a little unsteady as I walk this walk. I have made future plans. Twice. Within two weeks.

My first acceptance of "future planning" started like this:

"Thank you so much for (once again!) including me in your invitation, but I think (once more) I will decline ..."

I crossed out the words and accepted the invitation instead. And it felt okay.

Then two days ago, I wrote the words, "IF I was to plan to fly out to Ontario for an extended long weekend sometime this summer, would anyone be interested in joining me? I know of a very good Bed & Breakfast close to where our uncle lives... "

My brother accepted this challenge. Last night we booked our flights.

Both invitations revolve around a weekend, so little time off from my work is required. That is good in a bad kind of way (I kind of enjoy the idea of a one or two week holiday), but it is manageable. It makes it easy to say yes.

I have slotted in the costs for both of these little adventures into my budget. I can make the financial ends meet with little sacrifice. I've been doing that for years. My motto is "it all works out in the end". I have not let my financial situation rule my decisions for years. Amazingly, this has worked out for me.

I am more than blessed to work for two people who say "yes" to almost anything I ask. I do my best not to take advantage of this but it makes asking for time off the least of my worries.

My concerns are usually more of a financial nature. I have lived on a shoestring budget most of my adult life. I have recreated that feeling within my current financial state and it is a comfort. I squeezed the numbers into my budgeting spreadsheet and had to forfeit saving up to pay next year's income taxes to make this work.

Forfeiting saving verses adding onto the amount I owe? This is a new and improved dilemma. I guess I can try to get used to it...

Creating More of the Same

Am I the only person who seems to be drawn to recreating their world based on the way things have always been?

The first time I noticed this, was when it started to feel as though there may not be a scarcity of money within my budget.

My monthly finances have flip-flopped immensely this year. The end of my trips to see Mom equalled less car expenses plus more income. This, in and of itself has created a brand new situation within my life. There is money left over at the end of the month.

I then examined my spending habits of the prior year and created a budget based on annual car/house maintenance; income tax; house insurance; vet bills; and gifts. Suddenly, the excess income at the end of the month was not enough to cover "all of the above".

"Ahhh! Now this is what I am used to. Bring it on!"

There have been a few unexpected windfalls come my way. I feel uncomfortable with these funds and I simply couldn't relax until I recreated the scarcity sensation which is part of who I am.

I paid off my mortgage and was short $388.18 which I paid from the excess funds at the end of the month. Thus, creating a shortfall with my budgeted allotment with which I was to pay off my credit card. I had to find some creative ways to finance the remainder of the week to keep my budget balanced. The moment I was scrambling for funds again, I felt this huge exhale of relief fall out of my body.

"Ahhh! Now THIS is what I'm used to feeling!"

The calmness which took over the reins of my anxiety was intoxicating. I was content. I was back where I felt comfortable.

I sit here this morning, after contacting Revenue Canada, washing up some strawberries, slicing up sandwich-ready fillers and washing a load of clothes. I am presently gulping down my last cup of coffee for the morning and writing this post, when I should be hopping into the tub and heading out the door.

"Ahhh! Now THIS feels familiar!"

Creating a scarcity of time sensation is tricky within my world, where I could easily have all the time I wish for. The need to feel rushed as I make my way out the door is comfortable and feels "right".

I became accustomed to running out to Mom's. Sometimes with a purpose, other times "just because" but most of all I went out so I could be there as needed.

I walked out the door a few mornings ago with the tools I needed to provide some foot comfort for my 80 year and older lady friends. One needed a sliver pulled out. The other could use some relief for a corn. I packed up my tweezers and moleskin and once again I sighed ...

"Ahhh! I feel needed. All is right in my world."

I have walked along side my Oldest Son as he has tended to an eye infection and we have spent more time together in the past week or so, than we have all year. "You should have a job where you take care of people" he commented.

My heart clenched in fear. It feels good to feel needed. But when the need passes and you will never see the one you have tended to again, it creates a void which sometimes feels impossible to fill.

I step back and evaluate my world where I keep recreating the life I have had. I am good at some things. Not so good at others. My most powerful motivator has been "scarcity".

Last year, I knew in my heart of hearts, that my ability to spend time with Mom was winding to a close. I wanted to be wrong. I begged to be wrong. But I kept filling my time with those trips out to see her. Scarcity motivated me and moved me to exactly where I needed and wanted to be.

It's a hard habit to break but living with the feeling that there is never enough has gotten me to where I am. The reality is, is that there is ALWAYS enough. No matter how little time, money or energy I felt I had, there was ALWAYS enough.

I was always enough. Even though it never felt that way at the time.

Scarcity and me. We are good friends. Maybe I should try to end this toxic relationship. I don't know? It's worked for me. I keep recreating more of the same. It's no wonder habits are a hard thing to break.

The Need to Be Still

I can't wake up early enough to write these days. Then when I do wake up, I am not too fond of the mood I'm in or the thoughts I'm thinking. Since I haven't had anything to say that will make world a brighter place, I have stayed away from my poison pen (or computer keyboard) and have been trying to focus on gratitude instead.

It's been hard.

My little people deserve better than the person I am these days. My patience is non-existent, my energy levels are at an all-time low, my idea well seems to have dried up and I think the hopes and dreams centre of my brain have shut down.

I must realign my thought processes and I am not exactly sure how to do it. I know it is in the "doing", not the "planning to do" or "thinking about doing", where the magic begins. I have many thoughts. I should be doing so very much. But I keep coming up with excuses. "Lazy" is the word that comes to mind when I think of why I am not pushing myself out of and beyond this funk. "Unmotivated" is another. The words that escape my mouth when I am in the company of others embarrass me. I need to be sequestered until I have something positive to say.

I feel like I need to make a very big change but I don't know if I'm up to it. I could really use a "maternity leave" right now. A year off to be still ...

I read these words written by Glennon Doyle Melton: "Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love."  http://momastery.com/blog/2016/08/01/i-need-to-tell-you-something/ , and it was as if she was speaking directly to me.

I think "fear" is the boss of me right now. I should look for a job in a different field but the idea terrifies me. I used to smile and think it was a good thing to always be looking beyond where I was with wonder and admit that I still didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. I think I do know. I want to be settled into a safe little life that includes a pension, a paid off house, a six month emergency fund and a husband.

I've been flying solo for most of my adult life. I've raised three boys. I was a single parent for most of that time. I did it. I proved myself. I did everything I had to do to provide a roof over our heads and pay the bills. I was pleased with the fact I did a lot of this on my own. But I have had assistance. My family has supported me whenever the chips were down. The government subsidized my income and made my life affordable and it was a comfortable little life.

I'm on my own now. Here I am. I am 55 years old, living in a house that should have been paid off seven years ago, with my retirement savings spent subsidizing my decision to open my daycare, thereby forfeiting my job where I was building a nice little pension fund.

My job skills are very rusty and my fear factor is high. I knew when I made the choice to return to my daycare "career", my future plans included working until I died. I thought I was pretty funny when I said that. I thought that would encourage me to keep on believing I was capable of big things. I thought it would keep my thoughts young and my spirits high.

I was wrong.

I don't want to work until I die. Not doing what I am doing, anyway. My little people are wearing me out. I look at the bookkeeping homework I brought home with me on the weekend and shudder. Bookkeeping is not where it's at for me. I don't mind fitting it into an eight hour window, once a week, with a weekend off every month. But I don't want to bring it home with me.

Bookkeeping was my "ace in the hole". It was my back up plan. It was supposed to keep my brain limber and agile. It was supposed to challenge me and pay a few bills. "Balancing to zero" and "black and white, right or wrong answers" were all I wanted after the year I attempted to work outside of my home. Now, it just makes my shoulders and neck tense up and I want little to do with it.

Writing used to be my passion but I cannot spread the words in my head lately. I need to change the channel. My thoughts are circling within my head and going no where. So here I am, purging them onto the computer screen. Even though I know better. They have to go somewhere. This is my "safe place to fall", so I shall put them here. Keeping quiet is not my answer. "The fear voices are drowning out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading me home to myself and to truth and to love."  I need to quieten my world, purge my thoughts, put them into writing and onto the page so I can hear that voice. That voice has never failed me. It has helped me find my way when I was lost. I need to hear that voice again. It's in here somewhere...

Counting My Pennies

A combination of excessive spending, month-end recaps and accounting have me counting up all of my pennies this morning. And oh, what a lot of pennies there were to account for.

I have devoted my holiday to our home and invested my money in things that don't really show to the naked eye (or those who don't know what the "before" picture look like). But they matter.

A small bit of yard maintenance added to a bathroom touch up has equalled less than the money I spent on my more frivolous vacations this year.

Two days in Las Vegas + a five day trip to go East = seven days of frivolous spending.

I have had seven days of spending throughout this vacation at home. I have spent money each and every day. It felt like I spent a small fortune on my home maintenance and repair project, but as it turns out I have still spent less than the money spent on my gad-about trips.

I have no regrets. I did what felt right at the time. I followed some whims. I followed my heart. But this past week? My heart was happy and content right here at home.

Mom always said she had a very hard time coming to terms with spending money on a vacation. A trip comes and goes and you have nothing to show for it (I don't think pictures and memories matter that much to Mom when it comes to extravagant spending). She always said she could spend that same amount of money on their home and she could enjoy the benefit of that spending for years.

After my one week stay/work at home vacation, I am grasping what Mom has always felt and believed.

It has been thoroughly satisfying to putter away, aid and abet those I hired to do the hard work and see a small transformation in just a few areas within our house and yard.

The guy I hired to do my painting and other miscellaneous tasks was a salesman. He was telling me that what I was spending my money on was not increasing the value of our home. I couldn't seem to make him understand that I really couldn't care less about increasing the equity I have in our home.

For one thing, I don't have the kind of money it takes to do a full kitchen &/or bathroom reno. Nor do I have the time.

My goal was to increase the value of our home to me. The person who cleans, maintains and is responsible for it. I want to feel good about where we live. I simply want to live in a home where it looks like somebody cares.

I had one short week to do what I could, to inspire and motivate me to clean, repair and keep doing small things as I go along, instead of focusing on the overwhelming feeling of falling so far behind on everything house related.

I believe I have two good days of work I can do ahead of me. I don't need someone to hold my hand and carry me through. The heavy work is done. At least for the moment.

I really needed to be reminded of the fact that I can do hard things. I can putter away and make a small difference over a longer time period.

Yes, I still feel overwhelmed when I look at the "next" room. That hasn't changed substantially.

What has changed is the way I feel inside. Slow and steady gets you somewhere. Anywhere. Sometimes anywhere but where you are at is exactly where you need to be. Physically and mentally.

Using my body and mind has been invigorating. I haven't ran any marathons here. I have been working at a regulated pace. I seem to be spending an extraordinary amount of time making returns and repurchasing what I think we need.

My credit card will need a vacation after this holiday. Not from misuse. I haven't made any extravagant purchases, But the frequency of usage due to my slow and steady spending is wearing the numbers off my tired old card.

I stopped and tallied up my spending this morning. It felt like I was going to be in way over my head. But I'm not. I'm holding steady my break even point.

I haven't worried about the money as I go along. I seem to have a mental scale that keeps me from going overboard. When it starts tipping to far one way, I seem to reign myself in.

I have found myself putting that-which-is-not-necessary back on the shelf. Even after holding it and carrying it around for a while. Something sane and rational is happening within my subconscious mind. I seem to have this internal balance thing in check.

There have been times when I have spent money to fill a void. That isn't happening here. I am spending what is necessary. I have splurged by replacing that-which-was-still-serviceable with new and matching and a little bit pretty. At least to me.

It's been a great vacation. I still have three days ahead of me. I am almost at the point where my spending is done. Except I have one more return to make. And oh, if I just bought a can of paint so I could do some touch ups when time and energy allowed, maybe, just maybe, I could try and find a way to keep this ambition alive.

Feeling Empowered

I believe it is not a coincidence that yesterday's post "Openly Grateful" is followed by one titled "Feeling Empowered".

Yesterday is a day I would not want to live day in and day out.

It was full to the brim of all-things-daycare; many-things-household-maintenance added to my regularly scheduled day of children, responsibility and an evening that didn't end until sometime in and around 8:00.

I was interviewed by three families in need of daycare for their soon-to-be one year olds. Two of these interviews took place in the middle of my "full house" daycare day.

Quiet time was interrupted by a window/door guy arriving a half hour before he said he would be here. This would impress my mom greatly. But it disrupted my quiet time rituals and the house was never quiet yesterday. This is usually the death of me.

One final service call that never did take place must trickle over into today's schedule of events. But it was an excuse to stay inside with five energetic children who hadn't been outside to run and play and climb and scream all day.

My email has been a buzz of activity since I actively advertised my opening for an infant. I had to cease all interviews until I found out what transpires after talking with three separate families yesterday.

I have no idea how to handle multiple acceptances. I have not been in this place before. I do not want to have to choose.

It is a very heady experience for me to talk with new parents and "sell myself". It reminds me of why I am here, doing what I am doing.

I even confessed (more than once) to the last family who spoke to me, "I am not all that great"; "I am far from perfect"; "I could be so much better ..." in a (subconscious?) last ditch effort to create a situation so I am not the one who has to choose. Guess what? They are the one family who sent a late night email telling me they really want to bring their daughter to my daycare.

Honesty sells, I guess.

I woke up this morning feeling revived. I received so much positive energy from these interviews. I was overwhelmed by the pending estimate of doors and a window. But suddenly feeling like I have a stable income and can support whatever financial decision must be made.

I had the courage to send off a month's worth of columns, when (just two days ago) I was thinking I should just resign from this writing gig.

I feel encouraged, accepted and even though  "I am not all that great"; "I am far from perfect"; "I could be so much better ...", I am content to feel "I am good enough".

I am in a very good spot in my life right now.

I am where I want to be. I feel safe. I feel grateful. Oh, how grateful I feel! Because I know only too well, that this could all change in a heartbeat.

So just for today, just for now, I am going to revel in feeling "good enough". Because that is just the best I can be.

Back-Up Plans - What Would You Save in Case of Fire?

Have you backed up your computer files lately? If not, think (just for a moment) about what is important to you and find some way to safe guard that-which-cannot-be-easily replaced.

Our main computer has been 'ill' for quite some time. A few months ago, I called my friendly, neighborhood computer-guy and he gave the computer a little CPR and it has been holding on. That is, until I re-infected it with a 'bug' of some sort.

I took all of the clean-up knowledge I have (and added a little of what I thought I understood) and effectively wiped out our computer yesterday morning. Yes. Erased. Completely and fully.

I had to make an embarrassing phone call. "Yes, Doctor. I tried to do the surgery you performed when you were here. I failed. I think my patient died. Can you help me now?"

There is always something to be grateful for. I was counting my blessings before I was tallying up my losses.

First of all, I backed up my files before I did what I could not un-do. Secondly, my family book project (that I have been working on for almost six years) is safe and sound on a separate computer, with all of the documentation and up-to-the-date book revisions on a USB drive I keep separate and apart from the computer itself. Had I lost The Book, I may have needed a little CPR myself.

Number 1 - count your blessings. Practise gratitude. As bad as things seem to be, they could always be worse. What is one measly little computer in the whole scheme of things? Not much, I tell you. Really!

Number 2 - have a back-up plan (or in my case, a back-up drive). I always wondered how this backing-up-my-system would work in case of emergency. It seems I will now find out. My computer guy asked me a few questions about my back-up program. The process of restoring our files sounds a little labor intensive because he must first recreate our computer-as-it-was. That sounds expensive, doesn't it?

Number 3 - it is only money. If our only problems are ones which money can solve, we are very lucky indeed! Boy, am I ever lucky!!

I had been putting off replacing our computer until my finances were in a better place. It seems an act of self sabotage fast forwarded my plan. I had intended on calling my computer-guy at the beginning of the week but I talked myself out of it. I thought I could 'put a band-aid' on the situation and get us through until I was more ready. The band-aid just may have held, if I had not decided to perform surgery...

Part of the reason I was delaying the inevitable new computer scenario is because I have accumulated a wealth of clutter within this very computer. I was in the process of promising myself to never again let things get to this point. But before I was to get to that point, I needed to clean up my existing files.

Sometimes life takes the choice out of your hands. What you think you cannot live without or replace or recreate becomes a question of "What is most important?"

There is absolutely nothing on that computer I cannot live without. It will be very inconvenient to have lost everything but if that happened to be the case, what can a person really do? Start over.

Starting over seems devastating at the time but sometimes losing the 'clutter' of the past has hidden benefits. It takes the choice out of your hands.

When my little family and I started out on our own 26-1/2 years ago, it was with little more than the clothes on our back. We ended up with a little more than that, but not much. Had we been able to pack up what was rightfully ours when we moved out and moved on, it would have come with a cost. The burden of carrying the excess clutter and the weight of the memories attached was not worth the fight.

We started out anew. We moved into a town house and our basement was empty. It was an amazing feeling of freedom and renewal. We saved ourselves and that was all which truly mattered. My back-up plan was a family who held me up and supported me until I got my sea legs again. Money could buy all that we had lost. Material wealth is immaterial when it comes right down to it.

Look at the clutter within your life. Safe guard that-which-is-not-easily-replaced. Keep it simple. If you could save only one thing in a fire, what would it be? Protect and nurture that-which-you-would-run-out-of-a-burning-building with. The rest? It is only a minor inconvenience to replace that, which money can buy.

On the Flip Side

The instant I hit the 'Publish' button on my "High Cost of Living..." post of two days ago, I had a rebuttal for it. In a perfect world, I would have sat down and written that immediately on the heels of such a negative set of words.

But Life walked in the door fifteen minutes after I wrote that post, I lived my ten hour Daycare Day and followed that with mowing the lawn and visiting with a friend that evening and woke up to my Youngest Son's birthday yesterday morning.

So here is my rebuttal. Two days late ... but there is a definite upside to my low (per child) daycare rate.

The flip side of the negative?

• I get to stay home!
• Multiply that rate by four children and multiply that by ten hours and it equals 'just enough'
• I am my own boss (for the most part)
• These guys keep my mind and my body moving
• I have the ability to talk with a friend while I work
• I work for some very amazing and kind people
• Quiet time (!!) in the afternoon
• I get paid to sit outside and soak up the sunshine
• I get paid to count ladybugs, listen to the birds and walk through tunnels
• I absorb the wonder of a one year old, as I gaze up into the sky find myself mesmorized by a plane or watch the garbage truck
• I notice the small wonders of the world - like the reflections of a sparkly shirt in the sun and birds playing on the street
• I am in on the ground level as my Little People learn new words, sentences and physical feats of amazement
• I am making my house work for its keep. There is nothing sadder than a beautiful, oversized, immaculate house that sits empty as its owners run off to work each and every day and the little time they have left over after working to pay for such a monstrosity is spent cleaning and maintaining it. 

That last point is a big one. We have a modest home but I can honestly say that every square inch of the house, yard and garage are being utilized 24/7 (the exception to that may be the front yard ... but there must be a way to make it work for me as well!).

What is the point of having a beautiful house if you are not home to enjoy it? Working from home is the key to my inner contentment. Everything that I am doing today, is heading me in a direction to continue doing what I am doing for the rest of my days.

Sure enough, I may want to trade in my Daycare Buddies for people my own age one day. A Bed & Breakfast? Room & Board? Taking in foreign students? There are many ways I can continue to make my home a vital and important part of my income earning strategy.

My bookkeeping is heading to a place where I will be able to (primarily) work from home again. Once I get my knowledge base firmed up, well versed and experienced maybe I can take on some more work-of-that-kind.

My writing is inching along. I never want to get out of the habit of writing. But it certainly doesn't pay the bills. Not yet. But if I just keep on writing what I write, who knows where this may lead one day. It may lead to nothing but memories for my children and grandchildren to hold onto when I am not longer writing out loud. But in the meantime? I am averaging about $3.78 per published column ...

I don't think that I was set on this place called earth to become rich. But I am rich in everything that matters to me. I have a wealth of everything that money can't buy, which is most likely why my hourly rate of income is the least of my worries.

High Cost of Living Verses the Low Cost of My Daycare Rates

I was just sitting down, enjoying my morning smoothie and coffee as I read this blog post and within the story was the statement that the author made $2.00 per hour, per kid when she babysat when she was 11 years old. Thanks to Google, I could decipher that this was 23 years ago.

This further led me to calculate my hourly daycare rate. Now. Today. As of June, 2014 I am making exactly $2.54 per hour, per kid. And out of this wage, I pay for the extra groceries, supplies, toys, entertainment and house repairs/renovations to accommodate my little daycare family.

According to my wage, it took over 11, ten hour days of babysitting one child to pay for my two new pillows.

I spent two days of one child's daycare income to pay for the garage sale toys that I bought this weekend.

Our take-out meal last night cost half of one child's daily daycare income.

Thankfully, I am now taking care of (almost) four children. That is why I am spending the big bucks buying pillows and toys and take out.

According to my wage, I think that we should be living in the tent that I bought this weekend.

Pieces of Random

This extra half hour in the morning is intoxicating. Yesterday I could only manage to get up fifteen minutes earlier than my regular time. Today I was raring to go at 5 a.m.

The next time that I looked at the clock, it was 5:35. I had fed and watered the cats and cleaned cat litter. I had pulled out Tuesday Lunch Money for My Youngest (before he had to ask for it). I thought that I had done so much more. But the point is ... normally I am not even out of bed by that time. And I had already knocked a few items off the list of I-wonder-when-I-will-fit-this-in, into my day.

My mind was racing. What will I write about this morning (with this glorious extra half hour)? My new Daycare World? The fact that I should have money left over at the end of the bills for the first time since I restarted my daycare career ... worked for the school board ... worked as a bookkeeper ...? No! None of the above. This is the first time that I have been in the black since I went to school (no ... I was living off of a student loan back then). Okay, I've got it I haven't had money left over at the end of the bills since I last ran my daycare! I'm back, people. I am so back!

I talked with a friend in the aftermath of the two minutes synchronized napping period that happened here yesterday afternoon. I do not exaggerate. These are two of the text messages that I sent to the friend who called me - "2:10 and everyone is sleeping!!" (my last straggler had just closed her eyes); followed by "2:12 ... and Lucas is crying!" My friend called me at 2:16. Do you know what this friend told me after we chatted for a while (and I had two children who were already up from their naps)? "You sound so calm ... so happy". I simply replied, "I am ..."

This same friend asked me what I did to pass my time during the day. She also runs a daycare from her home and knows of the tedium that can happen within a career of child minding. A person must exercise their over-5-year-old skills regularly ... so she knits. She asked what I did. My answer (yesterday) was, "Well? I finally sat down and had lunch at 2:00". After Day #1 with my full-house of four-year-olds and under, I didn't have a spare moment (just wait a minute ... I did ... and I started my first chapter of our new up and coming Daycare A B C book ... I wrote the chapter entitled "A").

My nappers were all gradually waking up when my Second Son poked his head into the living room, flaunting a ham. He suggested that he would share it with us at supper time if perhaps I could make some scalloped potatoes. He obviously hadn't spent the day in my shoes. I could no sooner take the time to peel potatoes, onions and mix up a white sauce, than I could write the Great Canadian Novel in the midst of the aftermath of nap time. It was 5:35 when I wandered into the kitchen and said that I could possibly start making those scalloped potatoes now. Needless to say, My Youngest and I had a hamless supper.

More news on yesterday's front - our Senior Cat seems to be holding his own with his steroid regimen. He is not the frisky cat that he was before he got pneumonia but he is stabilizing. His fur is soft & shiny and he has stopped shedding. But I think that has something to do with ingesting 'gold nuggets' of "Medi Cal Gastro Intestinal" special cat food that our cats are feasting on, in an attempt to alleviate our Junior Cat's chronic diarrhea. They are eating this food like it is candy and they are both looking black and shiny and beautiful. I hope their 'insides' are looking as beautiful, happy and healthy as their 'outsides'. The long term cost is going to be as comparable as the gold wafer that my brother just bought for his daughter's 21st birthday ...

My time is up and the only other thing I can think that I was going to write about is the marvels of aging. There are few surprises for me in this area. My sisters are nine and eleven  years older than I am and I have been privy to many up and coming events because they tell me all about it before it happens to me. There have only been a few surprises - the receding hairline (apparently my brother and I are the only ones suffering this side effect of aging). And I have discovered one more thing. Those nasty black chin hairs that have the ability to grow to half an inch before you notice them??? They eventually turn gray (and have the ability to grow even longer). You know those pictures of people scratching their chin in an expression of earnest concentration? They are not thinking of anything besides "I wonder if I have any chin hairs today ..."

And on that note, I bid you adieu. Happy Tuesday ... may it be a hairless chin day for you all!!