Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Morning Thoughts

"Decluttering your mind" - these are the words that spoke to me loudest in my morning stroll through the Interwebs in a quest to reroute my thoughts. The blog which caused me to pause is "Be More With Less"; the post that caught my attention is "One Simple Way to Declutter Your Mind". The following ideas are not my own but I like this take on putting worries to rest.

I have read time and time again, that gratitude is key to healthy, happy living. I wholeheartedly believe this to be true. Counting my blessings, especially during tough times has been my coping mechanism for forever. 

As grateful as I feel for that which I have within my life, anxiety continues to plague my thoughts. I can talk myself down from most anything but life is not perfect. As much as I can try to interject a wide view perspective of that which feels unjust and hurtful, my heart still carries the weight of some days long after the moment has passed.

What is suggested in the article I read, is to write down the thoughts that are cycling through your mind before you go to sleep at night. Write it out. Good, bad or anything in between. Then give yourself permission to let it all go and revisit this list in the morning.

I have done this unintentionally on a few occasions. The days that haunt me. The words I can't say out loud. I write them down, feel them, read them from a wide angle lens for perspective. Thoughts cycle around and around and around in my mind. Thoughts feel bigger than they are when unspoken, just as a small ball of snow rolled around in the snow long enough becomes big enough to make a snowman.

I have used writing as a tool to regain my perspective, come up with a plan of attack and simply cope for as long as I can remember. But I have never consciously written down my thoughts with the intent of emptying my mind for a good night's sleep. Then revisiting them in the light of day.

The first light of the morning often brings clarity to that which is weighing you down. My best ideas, answers and plans of attack are clearest in the dawn of a new day.

That said, my heart is heavy this morning. I don't know why. The morning sun did not work its magic for me. I have to leave the house today. I want to stay home.

This morning feels hard. This too shall pass. I know this is true. One forward step at a time. I will make my way to another weekend. A weekend without my roofer elves upon my roof (they are back this morning for their third and final day).

I do believe I'm in the midst of a long weekend hangover. A hangover that consists of a list of all I hoped to do, with little-to-nothing crossed off that list. It is time to create an action plan.

I wrote those words and immediately thought to myself "I need a holiday" and looked ahead at the calendar and dared to dream.

I don't need to go anywhere. I have no desire to run. I simply want to be home. I want to stay home and savor my mornings, knowing I can revel in those early morning moments for as long as they last. Perhaps take some day trips. Visions of an elastic band which expands and contracts, always bringing me back home wafts through my mind as I dare to dream ...

I spotted our neighborhood rabbit this morning. I haven't seen this guy for a very long time. I have been watching, waiting and hoping to spot the rabbit(s) that hop through our streets. I want to be still and watch nature unfold before my eyes.

And how is your Tuesday-after-the-long-weekend feeling? 

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