One Thing Leads to Another

Here is the rundown of my morning-so-far:

I am feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. Literally. I feel just plain "blech". The food I am eating, the amount of food I am consuming, the way I feel after a Pringle &/or chocolate bar binge and my emotional attachment to food has me looking seriously at trying to get to the bottom of the issue of "eating".

I am presently in a researching phase. I have discovered a program designed to help without the purchase of hundreds of dollars of quick fix supplements and gimmicks. I have stumbled upon Whole 30.

I googled "What can I eat on the Whole30?" and ended up finding a blog with not only a condensed list of do's and don'ts, but a link to recipes and resources to utilize when committing to this 30 day plan.

It was at the bottom of this post, where I followed the temptation of their "You May Also Like" suggestions.

I clicked on the one that said "What NOT to do when decluttering";

Which led to "10 Habits of a Highly Organized Person";

And finally to "Clutter Cowgirl"

I was pleased and delighted to find by reading what NOT to do when decluttering, it made the whole idea of "beginning" feel more attainable.

I sat a little taller and felt a little lighter when I read the list of habits a highly organized person has. I have discovered I'm more organized than I give myself credit for.

I have a feeling that a lot of my food binges are connected with the emotional baggage of "having too much" and feeling overwhelmed is tied up with monumental task of sorting through and releasing the excess.

I took a pen and pad outside with me yesterday morning and started my quiet day of reflection by writing down what needs to be fixed, adjusted and built to start creating the life I have mapped out for my life and our home.

One thing keeps topping the list each and every time I do this. A Murphy Bed and turning the closet into a book shelves in "Mom's room".

Definition: Mom's room - Mom was our home's very first house guest; this was our first guest room; I told her I would forever think of that room as her room; when our home had three spare rooms to offer our overnight guests, Mom would always choose "her" room. 

Mom's room is the most heavily laden with emotional ties. Yet I have a feeling "this" is the room that will set me free once I have it looking, feeling and acting in the manner in which I have envisioned. I want to turn this room into a library/den. Will it need to function as an office one day? I hope not. I want this room to feel like a place where you could not only curl up with a good book, but house a guest who simply feels welcome.

"I get stressed out when I have too much" was a realization I rediscovered and reaffirmed last week. Our home is "too much".

As I sat and soaked up the day outside yesterday, I reflected on how our yard was being underutilized. My son kindly offered the consolation that during my daycare days, our yard was probably used more than most people's yards ever were. But the words "how can we utilize it now?" would not stop cycling through my mind.

Our home houses far too much excess. Perhaps, in keeping with the thought of cleansing our cupboards, fridge and freezer of unqualified foods for my up and coming 30 day eating plan, I can begin by not adding more groceries where there is already more than we need.

There are so many aspects of my life that require a good and thorough de-junking. It is overwhelming. Is it a coincidence that my body is uncomfortable with its excess at a time when I am feeling there is far too much I need to let go of within our home? I don't think so.

There are so many emotional ties and triggers to that which becomes "excess". Which leads me to my first course of action. One of the MANY suggestions I have just read is to "work in small bursts". I have just committed myself into going into work this afternoon, so I have two full hours at my disposal. Perhaps I could use the first hour to sort through one of the boxes in Mom's room. Perhaps ...