Setting Intentions

Yesterday morning, I accidentally set my intentions for a day I didn't believe was going to unfold. Little did I know at the time, my day followed a completely different course than I expected. Was it because I wrote out my wish list for a "life of ease" I hope to attain one day? Or was it simply the luck of the draw?

I knew I had some dirty work to do first thing in the morning so I climbed into clothes that were one step away from being in the laundry hamper. I dressed for the task and did more than I expected to do. Was it because I was dressed for the job? Or did life just happen to work out that way?

I was motivated and excited to have accomplished more than I expected and I silently wished for a few more hours to follow the momentum of the morning. The phone rang and I was told I didn't have to go into work. Devine intervention? Or just plain luck?

I didn't set any records and accomplish any great feats. I simply took one forward step at a time, crossed a few more tasks of my mental to-do-list and eventually sat down with a late morning breakfast and one final cup of coffee.

Sitting down broke my momentum but it didn't stop my thoughts. I checked out names, numbers and prices for the outside maintenance which must be done this year. I didn't let any moss grow beneath these intentions and immediately started calling and inquiring. I had my first estimate a few hours later; second one is coming tonight; and a third is scheduled for tomorrow morning.

I vacuumed invisible dirt and not quite as invisible cat hair with the excess time and energy I had on my hands. After three consecutive days of vacuuming and wet mopping the laminate flooring, I can finally walk throughout the house and not end up with socks that look like cat hair slippers on the bottom.

I sent out a brief email, I scribbled notes along my way, I found myself following the outline of the "Life of Ease" I had written about as yesterday dawned. In short, my goals are:

1. Tame a wild rabbit or two
2. Register for some university courses
3. Set out and discover places within our fair city to simply sit back and watch nature unfold before my eyes
4. Explore our province
5. Set small goals each day
6. Read
7. Turn off all electronics, televisions and phones for a set time frame every day
8. Search for ways to keep connected to the people within my world
9. Take notes along the way so I will remember to write about the small stuff

I wrote these points at 8 a.m. By 9:00, I had received the call telling me I had the day off. By 11:30 I was lining up estimates. I had put in a good day's worth of accomplishments before noon. I had done "Six Impossible Things Before Lunch". 

Setting intentions is key. Morning is where it is at for me. How my day begins sets the tone for the hours that follow. 

It feels good to wake up to the morning sun beaming in my bedroom window. I need to get in the habit of setting those intentions before my feet hit the ground in the morning. Or better yet, I could follow Mom's example and go to sleep mapping out a plan for the next day. 

"Yes, Mom. I hear you. I will try to follow the example you have set."

Dreaming of a Life of Ease

What would I do if I had all the time in the world? These are the thoughts I ponder as I have recently started to dream of what "retirement" may mean in the up and coming years.

My very first thought is that I would like to tame a wild rabbit or two. Not to trap it in a cage and keep it for myself, but for this little creature to come to know I would do it no harm and supply it with some rabbit snacks and perhaps some hay ...

My second thought is that I would register for some university courses. Tuition fees are waived for those who are the age of 65 years or better. The idea of learning for the sake of learning and not having to seek out and find employment afterwards sounds like my idea of heaven.

I would set out and discover places within our fair city to simply sit back and watch nature unfold before my eyes. I have just spent the past fifteen minutes or so watching four robins in our neighbor's front lawn. To my inexperienced eyes, it looked like there were three males and one female. I would love to learn all I could learn about the wild life that I found along the way.

I would explore our province. Day trips to destinations unknown would be my entertainment. Find a friend, pack a light snack and coffee-to-go and follow wherever the road took us. We would find our own adventure, stop for supper on our way home and come home feeling as though we had just been on vacation.

I would set small goals. Clean out one drawer a day. One box of letters. One box of photos. One cupboard. One small step at a time, great things would happen over a long period of time.

I would read. I would immerse myself in a book so good that I would become lost within the pages. My best reading days felt like I took a vacation without having to leave the house. I have lost my love for reading over the course of time. I want to rekindle that fire.

I would turn off all electronics, televisions and phones for a set time frame every day to listen to the quiet. I would listen for "the knowing" and find my way to the next moment. I would be still. Every day.

I would search for ways to keep connected to the people within my world. I would stockpile stamps, envelopes and blank writing spaces so I could send words out into the world on a regular, yet sporadic basis.

I would take notes along the way so I could write about the small stuff each and every day.

I have reread my wish list and realize I have everything I need to start this life of leisure right now. Today. There is little holding me back.

Except work. Speaking of which, I must ready myself for a day away from home. It is no wonder this life of ease feels so elusive.

Movin' on Up

Well. I did it. I moved my bedroom back upstairs yesterday. Just in case I had any second thoughts, I moved every little thing. No trial run. I have moved back up.

Nothing feels quite right yet but I'm not giving up too quickly. It is time to peek my head upstairs and enjoy waking up to the sun.

I didn't wind down as easily. I didn't sleep well. But I did wake up and get up at an earlier than usual weekend waking time.

I vacuumed every nook and cranny of my old bedroom. I vacuumed and flipped the mattress then washed all the bedding. Other than a few items on the desk and a box of Kleenex, the room is completely vacated.

As I vacuumed the weekend away (the cat hair sagas continue), I was hopeful "if I cleaned it, they would come". And they did. Then they stayed for supper too.

As I emptied our (now) spare bedroom "suite", I remembered how I felt when I cleaned out the house as my daycare days wound down to a close. I felt like I was making room for change ...

I just searched the archives of my blog and found what I wrote back in October, 2016:

When the clutter and excess are gone, the dressers and closets emptied of everything that is not essential what will be left? How much can I simplify this life of ours over the course of the next three months? How far can I go? And what am I making room for?

There is not one thing whispering in my ear telling me the answers I am seeking. I just keep looking within these walls of ours and hear "Purge and release"and "Make room for change". If I empty it, they will come ...

I'm living in "The Field House of Dreams". I don't know where I'm going but I know what I must do next. That is enough for now.

True to the cycles of my life, I have been here before. I have felt this way before. The story of my life keeps repeating itself.

"What am I making room for?", I wonder quietly to myself as I vacated my most heavenly oasis of a bedroom. Perhaps? I'm making room for "me". Room to expand my horizons so I live a life that exists after I come home at the end of my work day.

I am so used to falling asleep at the drop of a pin, I thought it was odd that I didn't drop off so easily last night. Maybe, just maybe I am finding my way back to a new and improved normal. Maybe ...

Rabbit Watching

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning. Literally. My eyes popped open at 5 a.m., I immediately hopped out of bed, opened the living room blinds, then watched and waited as the sun brightened the morning.

Honestly, I was hopeful I would spot our neighborhood rabbits out for their morning stroll. I haven't seen our rabbit duo for a while now, though I have been pleasantly surprised to find a new young "kitten" [Did you know a baby rabbit is called a "kitten"?] who sleeps in until I leave for work in the morning.

This kitten appears to be more of a teenager than a baby. It is looks like a smaller version of the adult rabbits [my Google search tells me by the time a rabbit is 4 to 5 weeks of age, they look like a miniature adult] and its coat is full on summer tones. I spotted it in the rear view mirror as I backed out of the garage the two mornings ago. Yesterday, it was hopping about in our neighbor's yard.

This morning, I have set up camp in the living room so I can sit here with my coffee, go through my morning rituals and keep a keen eye open for our neighborhood rabbits:

This could become my new favorite morning spot...

... with a perfect view of our street 

As I sat here with my coffee and gazed mindlessly into the street, I thought of Mom's view as she sat in her spot at her dining room table. She too, had a perfect view of her street and was well aware of her neighbor's routines and the daily rhythm of movement around her...

The sun is beckoning to me these days. For the first time in years, I am feeling the pull to move my bedroom back upstairs. 

The effort it takes to put my feet on the floor each morning has been taxing. Waking up to a day off, with thoughts of how fleeting these next two days will be, I didn't want to waste a moment of the next 24 hours. 

It has been a very long time since I woke up to those thoughts. I think it is time to make a move to make mornings and rabbit watching my new favorite thing.

The Longest Short Week

Question to ponder: 

Would you rather work a slow and steady pace for five working days 
OR 
a frantic, stressful pace for three days?

Need I say more?

Good Morning

These were the very first words I read this morning: "I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am for your friendship..."

Let me backtrack before I go forward with this thought.

I haven't been jumping out of bed these bright and early mornings. No good excuse. I believe I'm just being lazy with my gratitude.

I grabbed a notebook and wrote down my worries-of-the-moment and the inevitable outcomes of  what runs through my thoughts on a constant loop. No outcome is good except to keep following the course I'm on.

I'm grateful for everything that is weighing me down. I simply feel heavy under its weight. Thus? Mornings feel hard.

Fast forward to this morning.

I awoke to two bright and early text messages. Signs from the universe [okay, okay, it was just a cell phone connection] that someone in the world happened to be thinking of me as they stepped into their day.

It is such a small thing. "I'm thinking of you" kinds of messages are such an easy thing to do. One never quite knows what is happening on the other end of the greetings we send out to the world.

If you are thinking of someone, let them know. You never know what is weighing them down. Other times, you may know what another is facing and feel like nothing you can say or do is enough. You could reach out and stone cold silence may be the response you receive, but the moment I wrote those words, I think of the words I have heard on more than one occasion. "Thank you for not giving up on me" ... "Thank you for writing" ... "I found your message exactly when I needed to read it" ...

I write this and know I'm not following my own advice. Perhaps this is what is weighing me down the most. I know it is truly the smallest of things that make the biggest differences. Am I doing my fair share within this world of mine?

I'm doing what I can. We all are. We never quite know what our day will bring. This can be a good thing or not.

When the weight of the world feels as though it is sitting on my shoulders, I know I must look up and out of the moment I'm in. I need to look up. I need to find the blessings within any given situation. I'm my own worst enemy when my thoughts turn negative. I know this. What I do with this insight is up to me.

Sometimes we need to sit in the moment. Listen to the silence. Listen to the sound of our own heart. Literally. Figuratively. Be still. Be still and know...

The trouble is, I don't get much done in my stillness. Cat hair is amassing as I sit. Maybe I need to revise that advise. Get busy. Get busy and figure it out!

Good morning to you! May you get the encouraging sign you most need to find. Look for the signs. Sometimes they are hidden. But usually, if you look hard enough you can find what you need to see.

Best Before Dates

In an archaeological dig within the remnants of a life I have a feeling a lot can be learned about a person based on the "best before" dates within their kitchen.

This seed of an idea was planted this past weekend when I went to assemble several consecutive meals. As I tried to cover all food and beverage basics and provide options, I dug into the archives of our kitchen cupboards and without even trying, I unearthed one great truth I know to be true. Life as we knew it stopped in and around 2016. The year my daycare closed.

Within one meal, I found a can of iced tea crystals, a can of corn and a bottle of salad dressing, all of which expired in 2016.

In one quick glance of a cupboard, while researching this post (a few moments ago) I found another batch of dry food items which either were created before "best before dates" were the norm or else expired in the years 2016 through 2018.

The expiry dates reveal food preferences, dates of life changing events, free food items, coupon availability, the lack of clearing out the cupboards and the inclination to believe "expiry dates are for wimps (see previous research here).

I amassed different groceries for different ages and stages of my life, my children and who came to visit.

Dry food and canned food items are a preference of mine, as each of these items withstand the test of time better than fresh food. In case of an unforeseen emergency, these are good food items to have on standby.

My inclination towards thriftiness is yet another reason I hold onto things longer than the date the retailer recommends.

Plus? I'm kinda lazy when it comes to culling old food items.

Our freshly renewed kitchen is holding onto many great secrets of mine. All of which can be discovered by digging deeper than the recommended "best before date".

Marie Kondo, I need to sit down with you and continue the process we started at the onset of this new year. I started your process, went through an entire main floor renovation with your inspirational words "Does this spark joy?" running through my mind on repeat and I still have a kitchen that holds onto expired food items. Even after the culling process was (supposedly) complete.

My one true wish is that I do not live beyond my own personal best before date. Yet my kitchen is the graveyard of many such items. It is no secret that I have a hard time letting go and moving on. Armed with this realization and seeing the words written before me don't hold the impact they should.

I would prefer to utilize that which we have before throwing it away. I vow to ensure everything passes the smell test and that nothing within the dry ingredients moves independently before I use them. This is all I can promise for now. Baby steps...