A Room With a Door

I have been finding it impossible to book a date, a time and a place with myself to fulfil Julia Cameron's (author of "An Artist's Way") suggestion to make Artist Dates with yourself. I believe she suggested doing this on a weekly basis. The idea sounded lovely. Until I got home.

My life is occupied. I wake up early so I can write, do my puzzles, banking, tend to cat litter and the odd household task and make any outbound calls that are necessary before I must step out of the house and begin the day. 

My days are long. I don't get home until 7:30 p.m. most days. Later, if I have an errand to run. Since my wake-up time is at 5:00 a.m., I don't have much life in me at the end of each day. I am normally in bed by or before 9:00 p.m. Weekdays are not a day to set aside for an Artist's Date.

Then come the weekends. I fritter away a lot of my time on weekends. I can lose myself in the mundane. I get caught up on Netflix, Facebook scrolling, YouTube videos that are at the end of an Internet search which leads me astray. This could and should be a perfect time to make a date with myself to nurture my inner artist. But it isn't.

I like to have the ability to simply go with the flow on weekends. I don't love making plans which encroach on my days off. I like to follow wherever the road leads. As a rule, when one thing falls naturally into the next and the next without a schedule and time restraints, it results in the best unplanned sequence of events one could ever hope for. The best part is that you don't "hope" for anything at all. Because there has been no set up to allow space for a let down. 

Add to this fact, my love for simply being home. I don't want to go places, do things or leave this most wonderful "nest" I live in. Home is where I want to be. I must force myself out of it five days of the week. I don't want to book time away from the place I most want to be.

Which brings me to "yesterday". Yesterday, I was on a quest to find a picture I knew I had which was within the many boxes of pictures, mementos, cards/letters, bits of history and other miscellaneous items of Mom's I have not yet sorted and organized.

I knew exactly where to find the picture I was looking for. It was in a photo box where Mom once told one of her great-grandchildren, was where she stored her most special pictures. This prophecy continues to be fulfilled. Mom's photo box IS filled with pictures that are special to me. This little box was stored within a huge Rubbermaid container full of other photos, etc, etc, etc.

I pushed, pulled, carried and dragged this heavy box upstairs yesterday morning and parked it in "Mom's room" with a purpose.

"Mom's room" is one of the most unused rooms in our home. The door is closed so the cats don't scratch the couch or shed needlessly throughout the room. The room is filled with items I received from Mom's home. This is the room where I want to display family pictures. The room is filled with a sense of serenity.

As soon as I found this box, I made a date with myself. An Artist's Date.

I will pack up and move into this room-with-a-door this upcoming weekend. On whatever day opens itself up to the opportunity. I will set myself up as if I was away from home. I will pack up nourishment for the day, coffee and all the comforts of home. Then I will close the door and immerse myself in memories, photographs, bits and pieces of "Mom" and the history within the box.

I have photo albums, picture frames, pretty boxes, clear 3-ringed sleeves where I can organize bits of memories and history into a binder. I shall open the box full of special photographs and begin. 

I shall make a date with myself, for myself, by myself in "Mom's Room". A room with a door.

P.S. No cell phones allowed! I will be out of service and out of range during this date.

Morning Pages and Me

It is a challenge to wake up early enough to sit and write three pages by long hand every morning. 

I endure. I have my favorite pen, a very nice journal and a cup of coffee at my side as I write by the glow of our under-counter lighting. It is really quite relaxing and enjoyable. It is a lovely way to start a morning.

Someone is feeling a little neglected though:

Jet chases my pen as I write, lays upon my book, my arm, the table and generally just keeps saying, "I'm here. Love me. Pet me. Appreciate me. Don't forget about me."

Morning pages and me. And Jet. It is our new reality.

Time Warps

I have been thinking of a conversation I had with my sisters when I had just found out I was expecting my youngest son.

I was 37 years old at the time. Ancient. Prior to this new found discovery, I thought I was in the middle stages of raising my (then) youngest son who was 10 years old. My sisters came to visit me without the entanglements of children or husbands. It was just us girls sitting together reflecting on the moment I was in.

I was somewhat envious of my sisters' ability to pick up and go without dependants in tow. Here I was, about to become a new parent at the ripe old age of 37. I remember saying (something to the effect of) "I will be 50 years old before I can go somewhere without kids ... [we laughed] ... you guys will be 59 and 61! [the tone of our laughter changed as we reflected upon this reality]"

Needless to say, those years have come and gone. I have happily packed my bags and gone to my sisters, gone with my sisters and have spent a lot of time enjoying the company of my sisters despite our advancing ages.

The year I turned 50, was the year my middle son moved back home to save up for his eventual move out to his farm. I had a reliable adult on standby and he encouraged me to go out and live my life ("So when you start repeating your stories when you are old, they would be interesting ones").

I went back to school. I went to a dance competition. I joined Zumba and Belly Fit classes. I started taking classes to become a group fitness instructor. I went on an Alaskan cruise. Those are the highlights that come to mind during those years of independence. I did this after I closed my daycare, so I could go back to school and changed my career path to one where I could actually book time off.

Then life took an unexpected turn. The career change was not ideal and I ended up reopening my daycare. With daycaring, came great responsibility. I was bookkeeping Saturdays. Spur of the moment was impossible. My life was not my own. Again. My wings were clipped and I was back to being a responsible stay-at-home adult. I finally completed Dad's families' book of memories during this time. But it all took a toll. I do not look back on those years with great fondness. I was exhausted. I endured.

Then I closed my daycare. Again. My wings regained their strength and I had room to be flexible, do and go places without dependants. But things were changing with Mom. This became the stage in my life I call: "So you THINK you can make plans, huh?!"

My second stint at being independent and carefree became a time I invested wisely. No regrets. I had employers who were incredibly supportive and gave me all the flexibility I needed to be where I wanted to be and go where I needed to go. It was a completely different version of the same phase of my life when I took my extravagant holidays.

Life has evolved once more. I am heavily invested in the work I do. Picking up and going places on the spur of the moment is not my reality. I recently took a broken up holiday to accommodate one of my jobs and upon my return, I felt like I never should have left. I have returned to the phase of life where I have great responsibilities. Not to my children but to my employers. My wings are sitting quietly at my side and I will endure.

Back to the beginning now ...

Twenty two years ago, I was looking at my life in fast forward mode. I was wishing my life and the life of my unborn child away so I could spread my wings and live an independent life. To wish for a life of independence at this stage of my life is to wish for the unthinkable. My ability to dream ... feels elusive to me.

It was only upon reflecting on this cyclical life I lead, I recognized the pattern, the yearning, the need for time to pass and the eventual reality that my independence will come. We don't know what price we must pay for our independence. There may be times we get what we wish for but long for the days we wished away.

I am trying to appreciate the moment I am in without wishing it away. I have one eye on an eventual, partial retirement while the other eye is firmly gripped in reality. Be careful what you wish for.

Sitting with all of my siblings a short while ago, we again had a moment of reflecting where we all would be twenty years from how. There was a thoughtful, reflective pause before I uttered to my oldest sister "You will be turning ninety!". We laughed. Heartily at first. Quietly in the afterglow.

My uncle just celebrated his 90th birthday. It was a time of gathering his siblings together to mark the occasion and breathe in the moments. The family had a few gatherings while he was visiting this summer and his friends and nearby family had a gathering on his actual birthday when he was settled back in at home. His brothers attended each and every one of these occasions.

As I look toward the future that is what I hope for as well. For us to gather and celebrate the moments when they are good and to walk along each other's side when the going gets tough. I don't want to wish this time away. I want to appreciate it ...

Just Be You

This was the quote that spoke to me this morning:

"Just be you ... and if people don't like it, find new people"

Perhaps it was the picture that accompanied the quote - a picture of a little girl with black rimmed glasses that magnified her eyes and at first glance, her hair looked untamed and a little wild (at second glance, her hair looks just fine). 

The picture reminded me of a young version of me, feeling absolutely beautiful, with leotards on my head (in my make believe world, the leotards were my long and flowing hair), wearing Mom's high heel shoes. I remember the disappointment I felt when that picture was developed. I thought I was beautiful. I couldn't believe the ugly little girl the camera captured. It was akin to listening to my actual singing voice on a tape recorder many years later.

I thought of the picture. It was taken in the days when it cost money for every picture on the roll of film. One didn't take excessive pictures in those days. What was Mom thinking when she allowed precious, hard earned cash to develop this picture?

What was she thinking??

Was she amused? Did I ask her to take the picture? Did she realize I would regret having this picture taken? Did she think I was beautiful too? What was going on in her mother-brain when she captured this image? Did she know"this" would be the picture I keep coming back to in my adult years? The years where I continue to battle the feeling that the inner me doesn't match the outer me?

My memory of myself in this picture is actually much, much worse than the reality. Now that I've grown up and have a little better sense of who I am, this photo doesn't bother me. I'm glad I have it. It marks a significant memory of who I was and who I dreamed I could be.

In the same stack of photos, I found this one right along beside the uglier version of myself:

It was the Christmas I wanted a nurse hat more than anything else (it is hard to see it here, but I am quite certain that is what is on my head). I think Mom made me a nurse outfit too - I recall conversations where it is said the only thing I wanted for Christmas that year was a nurse hat and a Penny Brite doll.

The memories of conversations between Mom and my sister about this particular Christmas sift through my mind as I write. The memories aren't mine but as I Googled Penny Brite's image, I found a picture of Penny Brite sitting at a school desk with a blackboard. I'm pretty sure my Penny Brite came with these accessories. If so, I do have an original memory to go with the stories I've heard.

I have been falling in and out of liking myself, my life and questioning "What's next?" a lot these days. Part of me feels a little bit lost. Not really lost. Just wandering. 

I've lost my dreams. I've lost my childlike innocence I felt when these pictures were taken. I dreamed of becoming a nurse. I had forgotten.

"Just Be You ..." 

These are the words that spoke to me this morning. These words have taken me down memory lane and have rekindled a childlike memory of what it felt like to "just be me".

Even though I was a shy, reserved little child I remember feeling something inside of myself that was begging to be seen. I'm grateful for the pictures Mom took to help me remember the confidence I felt inside, despite the side of myself the world saw.

A Silver Lining

As soon as we got this most recent snowfall, one of the first things I thought was 

"I'll be able to find rabbit tracks again!"

And I did!

I haven't had many rabbit sightings lately and I've missed their presence. Either I'm not patient enough or we are on different schedules. But I keep missing them. 

I was pretty sure they were still around and now I have proof!

I nestled a small dish of rabbit food in the roots of the tree in our front yard. There was evidence a rabbit had been there and it is the most sheltered spot our yard has to offer.

If I feed them, will they come?

To be continued (I hope!) ...

Back in the Driver's Seat

I finally took all my thoughts that had been cycling and recycling around and around in my head and on the pages I've been writing and acted.

I acted. I didn't react. I acted.

I have been whining about my car and how I didn't feel it was winter worthy. Should I spend thousands of dollars on new struts, shocks, tires and a windshield? Or should I buy a new-to-me used car?

My thoughts bounced back and forth and all around. Around and around they went. The more the same thoughts cycled around in my head, the dizzier I got. The dizzier I got, the less capable I felt to make a decision. Any decision.

Then I thought "What do I have to lose to ASK if the stone chip in my windshield can be fixed [after waiting all summer to decide what to do]?"

I asked. They answered. The answer was "Yes, we can still fix this".

Next came the tires. I did not want to spend a lot of money on a car that I have already spent more on repairs and maintenance, than I did on the car itself. Then I (finally!) remembered. "Hey! I have snow tires in the garage!"

I've never had snow tires before this car. I got this car at the end of December. It had snow tires. I still slid through intersections, even when driving at a snail's pace. I still spun my wheels trying to take off from a corner, even when I accelerated slowly. I didn't see one advantage to having snow tires when my previous car drove (what felt to me) exactly as this car did, with snow tires. So I never used those tires again.

Fast forward to this year. My existing tires will need to be replaced soon. I don't want to invest in new tires for my old car. I have a full set of winter tires sitting in the garage. I asked my friendly, neighborhood mechanic to switch the tires knowing they would assess the winter tires before changing them. They told me the winter tires are like new. My old tires have 30% of their tread left.

I am now driving my new-to-me old car and feeling as good as I can about the upcoming winter season.

I didn't break the bank to put myself in this position. I used what I already had and fixed what was already there.

I had a few errands to run before I went to work yesterday. I saw two accidents on the opposite side of the freeway I was driving on. Knowing the traffic was just starting to back up on the side of the road I would need to travel after I ran my last errand, I looked up and the traffic was at a standstill. I took the back roads to my final destination. As I drove, I heard the traffic report "There are two accidents ... [on the stretch of road I had just avoided]".

I still slid through one intersection and a stop sign in a parking lot, as I was travelling at just over 0 km per hour. It's slippery out there!

Even with my winter tires, I know I could easily be in an accident this time of year. I'm driving as safe as I can, leaving lots of room between me and the cars ahead of me. But no one plans to have an accident. I am very relieved I will be driving the car I'm in right now. A car that is not worth a small fortune and a car I have not just spent a small fortune on.

I have spent my money wisely. I feel as safe as I can feel now that winter, wind, snow and ice have descended upon us. Yes, I wish I was working from home right about now. But since I'm not, I have done the best I can do with what I have.

I have accepted the things I cannot change. I have changed the things I can. I feel back in the driver's seat again.

The Best Things in Life are Free

I finally made it to the library a few days ago. It was better than I hoped it would be.

I went to the branch I was closest to. It is new but it doesn't have a very big selection of books. But it was bustling with people.

It was good to see the library was being put to good use. There is a meeting room, a children's area, a reading area, an innovation lab and a gaming room. Each of these areas were busy with people and activity.

On the technological side, they do have WiFi, public computers and (in branch) Chromebooks. All the computers were busy so the technology may have led the race between hold-in-your-hands books verses anything of the electronic variety.

I was pleased to see how busy the library was on a cool, Saturday afternoon. I commented to the person checking out my books and she said they have their quiet times but this was not one of them.

Because this branch was so small, I was unable to find any of the books I was looking for but I came out with three books of interest regardless. I am eager to check out our larger, friendly neighborhood library one day soon.

I am now curious to see how I fare the next time I go. Because I will definitely return. Next time I hope to make the time to enjoy some leisurely time perusing the aisles of a library with a wider selection of books.

They do say the best things in life are free. I highly recommend visiting your neighborhood library one day. You have nothing to lose!

'Tis the Season

Brrrrr ... it feels like winter out there.

It looks like it too.

I don't think this snow is going to melt. The season of shovelling has arrived.

I'm glad we savored the weeks of not mowing the lawn.

A Day Without Multitasking

I read a book  yesterday.

That is all I did. I read.

No Facebook, Netflix, TV or mind numbing diversions.

When you sit down to read a book with actual pages, there is really nothing else you can do. You cannot multitask (though you can eat popcorn and read a book at the same time).

At the computer, I seem to find endless distractions. I want to Google this, that or the other thing. At this very moment, I have five tabs open up in my Internet Explorer screen. My budget spreadsheet is open. So is my email. I'm texting too.

My mind is shooting off in about sixteen different directions at this very moment and I'm ready to close up all these open tabs and finish my book.

I read a book yesterday.

And that is all I have to say about that.

A Most Excellent Day

I don't think there is a secret formula behind the day which unfolded yesterday but if I was to choose one thing that set the wheels in motion for the day which unfolded, it would be:

Get up, get moving, create space for whatever the day has in store.

Secondly, setting a date, a place and a time to pick up a friend spurred me into action. I had plans at 1:00 p.m. so everything I wanted to do at home needed to be done within a set time frame.

Do your impossible things before lunch. 

My definition of impossible things changes by the moment. Yesterday I had a small list of tedious tasks I hoped to accomplish. I was on top of things at home and was just headed out the door when I received an invitation to meet for brunch.

Accept invitations whenever the answer is an easy "Yes!!"

I had one errand to run en route to my brunch date. Amazingly, I didn't have to wait; I received an easy "Yes!" to my query; and I was on the road headed to my brunch date ahead of schedule and life was feeling pretty great.

Enjoy the moment you are in, while you are in it.

Like a fleeting sunrise or sunset, life is full of unexpected "moments" when you least expect them. They can't be planned or choreographed. They happen when they happen. Even things that feel like an inconvenience can end up making room for something good to happen.

I was in the last lap of the agenda I had mapped out for the day, enjoying a late afternoon meal with a friend when I received a distress call from my youngest son. He had accidentally locked himself out of his car and the house on a brutally cold wintry day. My friend immediately said we had to pack up our meal and take it home with us. My son could not be left out in the cold. So that is what we did.

I invited my friend to our home to finish our meal and stay for a visit. This unexpected twist turned a good afternoon into a great one. Words cannot do justice to the way we both felt as the afternoon unfolded when we just followed the path of least resistance. Any path that leads me home will always be good in my books but I was so pleased to share my enjoyment with a friend.

Trust your path. Embrace the unexpected - it may be leading you to something better than you could have ever hoped for. This just may be part of the recipe for a most excellent day.

Making the Most of the Day

I'm winning the game of "Saturday" this morning. In fact, I think I'm rocking it.

By this time last week, I had only been up and about for an hour, written my morning pages and was most likely on my second cup of coffee. The day went downhill from there. It was a Netflix marathon and a day of mindless nothingness which resulted in turning down an invitation because I didn't feel like getting cleaned up enough to go out in public. Epic fail.

This morning, I was up at my preferred weekday waking time and according to our hallway motion detector, I was up and moving by 5:19 a.m.

Early mornings and ONE defined goal are game changers for me. Today's goal was offering to give a friend a ride at 1 p.m., so everything I hoped to get done has a deadline. Thus, I accomplished more this morning than I have managed to do all week.

It is 9:16 a.m. and I have colored my hair, washed my bedding, showered and washed a second load of laundry. I have written my morning pages and completed all my word and number puzzles. I am presently waiting for a load of laundry to dry so I can head out and see if the stone chip in the car's windshield is repairable.

Car maintenance has been dominating my thoughts so I am taking one step in a forward direction. I hope they can fix the stone chip but plan B is to replace the windshield. It will cost four times more to replace the windshield but if it is necessary I will bite the bullet. The windshield is so pitted that driving into the sun is dangerous. Decision made. Second big decision is tires. I have snow tires in the garage. I was not impressed with them the first winter I drove my car. I will take these tires to my friendly, neighborhood garage, see what they advise and move forward from there. Decisions made. The goal is to spend as little as possible on this 17+ year old car, but safety is priority.

There are a few errands to be run and then a trip to the library is going to be my "Artist's Date" with myself and for myself. There is a fairly new restaurant in our neighborhood I would like to try out so that is how I hope to wind up the day. By that time, I should be open to inviting someone to come along with me. 

My mindless morning writing has made it painfully obvious what I need to do to clear the clutter from my mind. Tending to the car and tending to myself keep coming up each and every morning. I don't want to write the same pages again next week.

I love waking up to a Saturday but what I enjoy even more, is waking up to a Sunday where all the "hard things" have been done. I hope Sunday turns out to be a day of feeling social, reading and staying away from all my bad habits that are mind numbing. One step at a time.

I love how I feel this morning! Waking up and having a plan is a wonderful thing. Feeling in control of the day feels powerful and reassuring at the same time. I don't love when my days control me. I like when I wake up before the sun and steer the day in a direction that has some purpose.

Hello Saturday, my old friend!! I hope to make the most of this day

Morning Pages Recap

I have been pretty faithful to maintaining the habit of "Morning Pages" (Julia Cameron - The Artist's Way). The goal of Julia's writing workshop I recently attended was to unblock your creativity.

Morning pages are the root to unblocking the flow (put yourself into a "release" mode), which is to be complimented with "Artist Dates" (a date with yourself to put yourself into a "receive" mode). Add walking to that recipe and you are on your way to a more open and creative mindset.

Despite what I learned from Julia, I have done little more than write these morning pages. A lot of the time, I am annoyed with this new morning chore I have added to my list. But instilling the habit of writing the thoughts I'm thinking upon waking every morning does reveal what is taking up most of the space in my mind.

I have been writing my morning pages for two months now (less the days I had company or was holidaying) and I cannot say I have noticed a remarkable difference in my creativity.

I was not taught anything I didn't already know. I have used writing as a tool to sort through my thoughts for most of my life. I know the healing power of gazing upward into the sky which seems to put life into perspective. I know I need to be quiet within myself to hear the answers I already know.

I yearn for those sitting in a sunbeam moments of clarity. Julia provided me with a road map. I just need to use it.

The recurring theme I keep unveiling is "I am exactly where I am meant to be". For now. I may not be where I want to be. Yet. But every little thing that is going on in and around my world is pushing me in a forward direction.

Everything comes in its own time, in its own way. To rush the process is to push fate. Walk. Set aside time to think your own thoughts. Put yourself into "receive" mode. See what happens. Wait.

Patience, Young Grasshopper. Patience. Good things don't happen overnight. Sometimes some bad stuff has to happen first. One forward step at a time. 

Fleeting Moments

Before I opened the blinds this morning, I noticed an orange hue seeping into the cracks of our window coverings. What kind of sky was producing this lightness? I opened the back door with our east view of the sky and breathed in the moment.

Light fluffy clouds with the sun rising produced this orange glow which piqued my curiosity. "I should snap a picture", I thought to myself. The window on the door was dirty so I would have had to step outside. Even though the morning was already starting out warmer than the previous morning, I silently shivered and thought, "Not now ..."

As I perused my thoughts and wondered what I could write about this morning, I thought of the beautiful sky. I could take a picture, post that and let the orange sky speak for itself. A picture is worth a thousand words, so they say.

Sunrises don't wait. You must stop in the moment you are in and appreciate the sky right then and there. The moment passes quickly.

By the time I got around to deciding I should capture the moment, the moment was gone.

Life is like that. Sometimes, you are given "moments". They are fleeting. You can't stop the moment from progressing. You simply must stop and breathe it in while you are in the middle of it.

We live at a hectic pace. We forget to look up from the moment we are in. The days go by and what do we have to hold onto, if we don't stop and appreciate the small, life affirming moments when they are given to us?

I am the worst offender of all. I put in my time. I wake up in the morning, anticipating the moment when I get to crawl back into bed at night. I work. I earn a pay cheque. I spend my money before it hits the bank. I work for the weekends and when the weekend arrives, I squander the time at my disposal. Rinse and repeat. Such is my life.

It is said that "When you know better, you do better". Apparently I'm a slow learner.

I'll give myself a little credit. I did stop and appreciate the morning sky. Most mornings I would have missed it altogether. One doesn't need to capture every little moment on a camera to make it real. I snapped a picture in my mind and that is worth more than anything. This little moment of clarity was simply a reminder to add more of "this" into my days.

Add little moments that matter to your daily routine and see if you can add a little bit of wonder into your day. One small moment at a time. It all adds up.

What Dreams Will Come?

My dream gene is malfunctioning and it is playing havoc with the side of me I most enjoy being. I love when the possibilities of a dream diverts my attention from the day-to-day world I live in.

I could go back and try to figure out the why, when and how I have come to this state but it is not important to know how I got here. The key is how do I find my way above and beyond this life numbing state?

I started rambling about my dreams as I wrote my morning pages. I couldn't use the word "dream". The word paralyzed my thoughts. Once I wrote "Wish List", the list appeared.

I don't have a dream to "become" anyone more than I am in this very moment. I am who I need to be to get through my days. My work does not define who I am but it does define my days. To wish for anything to change is to wish for things which will spiral out of my control and make me long for "today". Work is what it is. And that has to be okay.

It is my after-hours-self that needs to jump out of her rut. Just a little. I need to reroute my off-the-clock thoughts into something that inspires me.

Dreams seem too elusive and far away. Wishes are a start. Unfortunately my wishes are things of material value.

#1 wish - a car that will get me through the winter. Either getting my existing car up to snuff or an excellent used car that is not going to gobble up money on repairs and maintenance to get it to the state of trust I have with my existing car.

Tied for #1 - is the desire to pay off the money I borrowed to paint our house. These funds I owe feel daunting. I need to get control of my finances after a very heavy spending year. Thus, I believe I need to do what it takes to get my existing car through the winter. [oh, how I wish I worked from home right about now as this would relieve the pressure of the "reliable car" factor]

#2 - shelving for Mom's books. This is attainable. I just need to make a plan (and get that loan paid off before I feel free to spend the money). Book shelves; floating shelves; hang pictures; make the den a usable space. Right now it is simply a room with a closed door. I utilize so very little of our home these days [oh, how I wish I worked out of our home right about now - I would have the need for a defined office space and that would reroute my thoughts on what is necessary to make that happen]

#3 & 4 - bathrooms. I would start downstairs because the plumbing down there is a concern to me. Start at the bottom and work up. Having a 3 piece bathroom downstairs would do one of two things - I would move my room back downstairs again, leaving one room upstairs as available office space; or we would have the ability to take in a border [oh, how I wish I worked from home as this would more clearly define a purpose behind my desire to update our downstairs bathroom - the ONE thing Mom said should be the first thing I should get done]

#5 - durable flooring for the laundry room and a compact easy to access space for clothes to hang to dry. That one sounds easy enough and I don't think it would break the bank either. I have simply always wanted a bright, clean and organized laundry room. It is that simple. No need to wish I worked from home to add that to my wish list

#6 - a quick "spiff" of the remaining space downstairs. The playroom from my daycare days; the room without a name or purpose in our current life; a space that could easily be defined as a living space if there was more than two of us living in this massive home. [this space could become an office if I worked from home]

My wish list has revealed my dream. My dream is to work out of my home. I knew this three years ago, when I closed my daycare. I knew that the secret to creating a life where I was semi-sorta retired meant that our home had to work for me. Renting out a floor? Working from home? There must be more possibilities than those two. I need to reactivate my dream gene and open myself up to the possibilities I have not yet thought of.

If I build it, it will come. Perhaps this is where my wish list is leading. It is leading me down the road of possibilities. If I build it, what dreams will come?

Cat Wars

Our cats have recently developed a middle-of-the-night routine which has become most annoying.

Ray (our timid cat who is very verbal when feeling harassed) has been jumping onto the night table right beside my bed and howling/crying/tattling on Jet (our cat who loves to chase and pester Ray when he is bored) in the wee hours of the morning for at least four nights in a row.

This has happened before but not with such regularity. I would shoo Ray off the night table and they would run off and complete their little game elsewhere. That stopped being fun for them, so they learned it was more entertaining to bother me so I would get out of bed, Jet would run out of the room and I would close the door behind him. Ray would settle into a restful state and we would have a peaceful rest for the remainder of the night.

Jet only fell for that ploy a few times before he realized if he hid under my bed, I couldn't shoo him out of the room. So I escorted Ray out instead.

This worked only a time or two before the new game became one or the other of the cats scratching on my bedroom door to get in or out.

We played this middle of the night game every night this week. Each night came with a new learning curve and I believe they delighted in rousing me out of my bed to tend to their arguments or need to enter or leave my bedroom. So I closed the door and locked both of them out. That didn't work either.

They learned all they needed to know to keep this game going. What they didn't realize is that I was developing a learning curve of my own.

Last night, I brought a water spray bottle to bed with me so I would be ready when the inevitable middle of the night cat spat occurred. And it did.

Mrrow!! Hiss! Mmmmroooww!!!! 

I didn't say a word. I simply reached for the water spray bottle, aimed and hit my target. Our timid Ray didn't know what hit him. He has not been on the receiving end of the disciplinary water spray tactic. We are not certain if he is a more perfect cat than Jet or if he is simply smart enough to set Jet up to be on the receiving end of our frustration when the cat tactical team requires human intervention.

I made my bed this morning and left the water spray bottle in an easy to reach location for tonight. We'll see what twists and turns occur as they learn I am armed and ready to do battle with their little schemes. Who will outwit whom?

These little cat and mouse human games keep life interesting. But enough is enough already. I'm armed and dangerous. I can almost visualize the wheels in Jet's brain turning. He is not one to give up easily. He'll find some new and more annoying ploy. He always does ...

Using Every Last Drop

I catch myself marvelling at the blessed life I live, where I have a pantry/cupboard and/or freezer to rely on when our supplies run low.

I have a stockpile of regularly used household items and groceries so it is a rare event to look for something we need and come up empty. Each and every time I retrieve something from our excess storage areas, I quietly think the words "Thank you" and remind myself of our very good fortune.

I am a firm believer that respecting one's financial limitations, using everything until the very last drop, not being wasteful and simply being aware of how one's money is spent is rewarded in small and almost imperceptible ways. 

I cannot begin to count the times I have had a shortfall within my budget which has been covered by an unexpected windfall. While I don't believe these are actual miracles, I do contend that coming across an unexpected cheque of thirty odd dollars at a time when you know your budget is short an amount that is very close to the unexpected bonus, you are put in a place where you are rewarded for being mindful of every little thing.

I keep track of my spending. This hasn't changed my spending habits but the practise of being aware of what I spend continually reminds me of my financial state of affairs.

Our little home seems to be going through a time of running low (but not out of) many small items. Yesterday morning, I cut down the hand lotion bottle to retrieve the massive amount of lotion not reachable by the lotion's pump. I'm almost certain this lotion will last at least two more weeks. I used the very last of some lip balm (cut in half and I've utilized every last drop of it long after it appeared to be empty); and I officially declared the travel sized toothpaste "empty". I then drained the last of the hand soap which had been stored upside down so none was wasted; and this morning I emptied the last dregs of our mustard bottle.

There is an ample supply of lotion, chapstick, toothpaste, hand soap and mustard on deck. But I cannot bear to throw something away before its time. And I am actually quite excited to know I will not have to squeeze the contents dry for quite some time as all of the above is replaced by a fresh, new supply. 

Yesterday morning's snapshot of some of the things that are running on empty

I am gazing at my monthly cash flow projection and see I will be short $174.23 next month. This is so very close to the amount I have budgeted to save but I am determined to get back into the savings habit one small step at a time. My awareness of what I am short is making me mindful of ways to decrease that number. 

The small act of utilizing every last drop out of that which we have makes me think of the parallel to living life to the fullest. If only I could take my days and ensure I lived every day as if I was squeezing every last drop out of the hours I had at my disposal ...

Work is depleting me. This I know. The answer to my budget shortfall is to offer to work an extra two days. That would be enough to cover the shortage. I must be on the tail end of my work life. I do not want to squeeze my days dry by working. I would prefer to squeeze the life out of my day by finding something that fills my soul. I am just too tuckered out at the day's end to care. 

My dream quota has been running on empty for a while. I tried filling that part of myself with things-to-do and places-to-go. Tacking that onto my work load was not ideal. Taking a holiday that felt like a chore marked off my to-do-list made it one of the hardest holidays I ever took.

I guess it is no wonder I find myself filling up on Netflix and salty snacks. It is the best I can do right now. Baby steps ...

The Power to Take the "Blech" Out of My Morning

I woke up late.

I wrote my morning pages fast and furious. I didn't stop to think. I just wrote. And wrote and wrote. The next thing I knew, I was at the end of my third page and I had that little morning task off my to-do-list.

I did my word and number puzzles next. Tuesday, as a general rule, isn't too taxing on the brain. I sped through my puzzles and still had time to write.

I wrote two blog posts, thoughts taken directly from my morning pages which may not have been inspirational, deep or amusing to anyone but me. But I wrote. I wrote out loud. Another one of the "hard things" marked off my mental to-do-list.

I made some toast and assembled my lunch. I had time to putter with little odds and ends. I printed off my bills; I scanned through the blogs I follow to see if anyone had posted anything new; I made a third cup of coffee; and here I am.

I had time to go for a walk this morning. I didn't take advantage of the moment and now it is too late.

My word of the morning (after I realized the world as I knew it was not coming to an end - see dream sequence one post down) was "Blech".

Blech.

My word of the day. I had the power to take the "blech" out of my morning and clear my head with a brisk morning walk. I didn't take advantage of the moment. I didn't realize what I missed until I missed it.

Lesson for today. Remember this. Don't overthink the moment. Just "do it". When I wake up feeling like the world is coming to an end ... and it isn't ... and the next conscious thought I have is "Blech" ... WALK.

Walk it off. Look up to the sky, remind myself how big the world is, how small I am and things always work out in the end.

I have the power to overrule the "blech" in my mind. Mind over matter, girl! Just walk it off while the walking is good.

Waking Up to Life-As-I-Know-It

You know you have been watching too much TV when the characters within the dramas you are following infiltrate your dreams.

I woke up to a vivid dream this morning. It was a dream. It was only a dream.

The world was coming to an end. I was in a house which was on a beach. Unexplainable and unusual things were happening. 

I was told to get Dr. Shaun Murphy [The Good Doctor] for some medical emergency. But someone said he is dead. I go to him anyway. He is alive and jumps out of bed to help ...

People were being gobbled up by something coming from the ocean and/or air. It was a dream. Details are weird. An orca was washed up on shore. The world was ending.

I was suddenly back in my own home, running around closing the blinds. Yes, closing the blinds will definitely help the situation. As I'm racing around the house, someone says, "We are out of milk" and we have all of Meredith Grey's children [Grey's Anatomy] to feed. 

I woke up. In my own bed. The world was exactly how I left it when I drifted off to sleep last night. Except ... the election results had been tallied up while I slept.

Immediately I checked the election results. From what I understand, the Liberals are still in power, with a minority government and the Conservatives came in very strong.

I don't understand politics. I think our world is just fine and we weathered yesterday's election well enough.

And ... we aren't out of milk. All is well in the world. Carry on!

This message is brought to you as a gentle reminder that waking up to life-as-you-knew-it before you drifted off to sleep last night is a blessing like no other.

The Good Old Days

How is it possible to lose the afterglow of a holiday so soon?

I have been back to work four days. I had a weekend after three of those days. Yet I woke up this morning feeling as if I was never away.

Exhaustion over-ruled any thoughts I may have had about how I would spend this past weekend. How can a person feel so worn out after working three days?

I woke up this morning and visions of my daycare days wafted through my mind. They were long days. They were challenging days. But we had quiet time. And I had some control over how I could manage my days.

Walks. Time at the park. Simply playing outside. Watching nature. Savoring the moments of children playing contentedly.

Even within the most challenging days, I was home. I was grounded. I could call a friend. Someone could drop by. I was home.

Another perk was the fact that I did not rely on my car. Winter is coming and if this car and I are going to weather the seasons ahead, I need to fix the stone chip in the windshield and look into getting better tires.

I liked working from home. I liked it a lot. I miss those good old days.

Best of Intentions

So many intentions. So little follow through. So went the days of my weekend.

I was home. All weekend. It was glorious. I was ecstatic. It was exactly where I wanted to be.

But the whole while, I was chiding myself for all I was not doing. I was not walking. I was not reading. I was not turning off the technical distractions.

I revelled in a Netflix marathon weekend. I was thrilled when I could watch Toy Story 4 from the comfort of my own home.

I cooked very little (I heated up spaghetti sauce I had leftover from another time and boiled spaghetti noodles - does that count?). I snacked on Cheezies and popcorn but I did not count them as meals.

I visited a little. But it was hard. I couldn't wait to retreat back into the solitude that is our home and life as I know it.

I did not accomplish what I set out to do this weekend past. But I've done fairly well with this Monday-in-progress.

Baby steps. Small steps in a forward direction. Just keep swimming ...

Joy

You know you are in the right place ...

... when "Joy" is the focal point of the kitchen.

*Compliments of our most excellent BnB in Guelph*

Watching the World Go By

The life of a cat ... 

... oh, to see the world through their eyes!

The Afterglow of My Vacation

It has been a week without to-do-lists, grocery lists, wish lists or guilt lists of any kind. I have returned back to life-as-I-know-it and I'm living in the present. It is a most wonderful place to be.

Unfortunately the weekend has arrived and the need for some groceries has arisen. I wrote a list. The car needs gas, I am out of cash so the need to cash in our bottles has arisen and if I want to move forward with getting a passport, I must get a passport picture taken.

I found myself scribbling down words in my "morning pages" which consisted of a dream list. The author who led the writing workshop I recently attended has three suggested life changing actions I (hope) to incorporate into my life:

• Morning pages - three pages, written in long hand each and every morning. This action declutters your mind puts your thoughts into a "send" mode
• Artist dates - set a date by yourself, for yourself to seek out and enjoy whatever is calling to you, to be in a "receive" mode
• Walk

My morning pages consisted of writing ideas of what I could do by myself, for myself to set myself in a mode to "receive" whatever may be forthcoming.

Normally, I return from a holiday and I'm intent on catching up on the blogs I follow, working to catch up on my online word and number puzzles and new lists begin.

This holiday, I came home and did none of the above. I simply took one forward step at a time. This motion got me through to today. A day where new lists have begun but I hope without the frenzy of anxiety that has been my motivating factor lately.

I feel renewed. I know this feeling will subside but it is my hope if I follow the advise I learned in the writing workshop I attended, I can keep my feet on the ground and focus on the present.

Being "present" and at home is where I most want to be. I wish you the same.

Removing Obstacles

It was a holiday I didn't know I needed until I walked back into life-as-I-know it.

A writing workshop gave me the tools I need to make the most out of my life outside of work. I rekindled friendships and family connections. This holiday has sparked the idea of "next time" ...

I went back to work yesterday and I started filling out my application for a passport this morning.

The passport will be good for ten years. I just want to make it easy to say "yes" to whatever opportunity presents itself next.

My default answer has become "No, but thank you for asking". I have been grateful for the obstacles that assisted me in declining invitations. Applying for a passport is one step in a positive direction. Saying "yes" is still a little daunting to me. But I think I'm ready to remove one of the obstacles I have fallen back on many times.

What can you do NOW, to make it easier to say "yes" to the next invitation life may present you? One small step in a forward direction is a very good step to take.

Acceptance, Courage and Wisdom

Ahhh ... it is back to the work world once again. For the first time in a very long time, I feel rested, relaxed, rejuvenated and ready to take on the day ahead of me.

I am not certain what the magic formula is.

Is it NOT having any other up and coming commitments lying in wait?

Is it the aftermath of two days of solitude and simply being home?

Is it the full body "cleanse" I just completed?

Is it the reassurance of a good bill of health and no need to rinse and repeat the above mentioned procedure for another 5 years?

Is it sleeping off yesterday's sedation and simply feeling completely rested?

Is it revelling in good memories of a most wonderful set of events preceding today?

Is it the fact that I did a few of the things that have the power to weigh me down yesterday morning?

Waking up to a day where all of the hard things are behind me feels like the weight of the world is lifted off my shoulders.

Now ... the million dollar question is "How do I maintain this in the long term?"

I believe I must go back to some of the scribbles I found on the table beside the computer. Stop worrying about things that don't happen. So much of life is out of our control. The secret is in the knowing the difference. It all comes back to the serenity prayer. Acceptance of what we cannot control; courage to change the things we can; wisdom to know the difference. 

One step at a time. One day at a time. Let go and let things unfold as they must. I am reliving what I learned in AlAnon. I believe the power lies within learning what we can and cannot control within our lives. Now to put this to work in my day-to-day life.  

What is weighing you down these days? Do you have the power to tackle the hard things and put them behind you? 

We can plan, hope and dream all we like but sometimes life has other plans.

I wish you a day where you feel on top of your struggles. 

It's All History Now

The past few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind and there has been little (no) time to blog or keep up to date on the mundane little things I do to mark my time here in my small little world at home. Normally I would feel the need to catch up on "all of the above" but now that I have sat back and enjoyed a few quiet days at home, none of this catching up feels necessary.

I hope the highlight reel of this time of great busyness trickles out in the form of blog posts as time goes by but I am not going to force the words. They will come when they are ready.

A writing workshop is one of the first things I attended during this blog writing sabbatical. The workshop was less about writing and more about finding your creative self. After one full day of immersing myself in this workshop, my takeaway from that was:

• Wireless Sundays - Sunday will be my day to disconnect from technology and reconnect with the life that is right in front of me
• Walk more. I write these words and wonder "when"? I'm not quite certain how and when I can accomplish this and I am immediately recalling all of the excuses that have led to this sedentary life I lead
• Artist dates. This is simply setting aside time to do something alone to take in what the world has to offer (if I combine this with walking, maybe I can kill two birds with one stone)
• Morning pages, morning pages, morning pages - 3, 8-1/2 X 11" pages of long hand writing, written first thing every morning to clear the clutter of one's mind 

I hope to accomplish tackling this small list of things to do, to find the "me" I used to be. I used to find my answers in the quietness. Technology, TV, Netflix and the constant connection to the world via cell phones creates an eternal buzz. We are far too connected within this world of ours. This connection serves a beneficial purpose but the cost is high.

As I sit at the tail end of this holiday I have taken, I am relaxed, replenished and open to the idea of trying the tasks I have mentioned. I have been, gone, seen and done everything that I set out to do. Now it is time to settle in and renovate my inner self one step at a time. 

I went into this holiday feeling overwhelmed, anxious and eager to put it all behind me. I knew I would enjoy every single part of this time away from my regularly scheduled life. I was right. I simply need to work on finding a balance that doesn't tip the scales too far one way. I am hopeful I am on the right track.

Two days of forced solitude at the tail end of these holidays was exactly what I needed. I am grateful for the preparation and appointment I had today which enforced this time of quiet before I head back into my life. There is no way to go but forward. It's all history now ...

Negative Nellie, I am So Done With You!

In the interest in "burying the lead" and ensuring my last blog post isn't the first one to appear on this blog I must find something light and breezy to write.

I pulled out the scrap of paper with all the blog ideas I had but didn't have time to write. 

• "Holidays never felt so hard"
• "So sick of worrying about things that don't happen"
• "Waiting for everything to be out of my hands"
• "Inner Margaret" (the need to find joy and leave the rest behind in the nearest ditch)
• "Never looked forward to a colonoscopy so much"

Hmmm ... apparently I did need a little holiday. I was sounding a little angst-y in the weeks that preceded my vacation this year. It is apparent to me now, that there may have been a reason none of those blog ideas materialized.

I hope to dig the positive out of the negative now that I'm back in the land of living my life. The Negative Nellie in my mind must move over. She has had her say and now it is time to take back the reins and steer my thoughts in a more light hearted direction.

The Grand Finale of My 2019 Vacation

You know you are feeling a little over-extended when the highlight of your holidays is a colonoscopy.

Anything that follows that sentence is going to be in a "too much information" variety but suffice to say, I am beyond grateful that I must say no to any and all invitations for the next two days.

I am so looking forward to this mandated day of staying home. There is truly no place I would rather be.

I have just gone back to read the blog posts I wrote in the aftermath of this procedure five years ago to remind myself of the coming events. The words that spoke to me were "... a very good night's sleep, which followed approximately twelve hours of intermittent napping" after coming home feeling rather (very) impaired by the sedative.

Dare I admit that I am looking forward to turning off my brain and savoring a mindless day just as much as I am anticipating this day of confinement to my quarters?

Yes, it is a sad state of affairs when I consider this the grand finale of my 2019 vacation.

Day of Gratitude

This is a most perfect day to sit back and be grateful. I am home after a most excellent period of focusing on family, friends, gatherings and outings. I am home.

Family. Ours is a special and unique blending of personalities who support, encourage, care, share and laugh together. 

I have just returned home from my uncle's 90th birthday and spent the weekend with Dad's brothers, their wives and a few cousins. I am so very grateful I was there. Memories were made, laughter is still ringing in my ears and it was simply a gift to be present and accounted for, to celebrate and acknowledge a most incredibly special man.

My siblings and I have recently had a "Sibling Weekend" together. I don't take this sibling relationship for granted and I am grateful we nurture it by continuing to make time to get together. The easy camaraderie we share is a gift. As we parted ways to return back to our lives in progress, we tossed ideas into the air about "next time" ...

My own little family has been busy leading their own lives, doing their own thing and making their way. We haven't gathered as a family unit for a few months but a tentative un-birthday party to acknowledge all the birthdays that passed by without acknowledgement is in the works. We are still in the process of creating our own piece of family history together but we are off to a good start. I am grateful.

Friends. My uncle's 90th birthday party has me reflecting on the value of good friends. I was at the door as his guests arrived and heard a brief synopsis of how he met and how long he has known some of his friends. Alumni from his university days; people he had worked with; students he befriended; his "Little Brother"; friends through his volunteer work; friends he met through his partner. The common denominator was that all of these friends had a history. It was not uncommon to hear "I've known Harold for 40 [or more] years" or some variation of that throughout the gathering. He is 90 years old and 38 of his close friends gathered to acknowledge the day and there are those who couldn't attend but will come another time. Amazing.

I am blessed with an arsenal of good friends. Lasting relationships take time and investment. Although I don't see my friends on a regular basis I know the friendships are real because when we do get together, it is like picking up from where we last left off. My take-away from the weekend past, is to pick up a pen, send an email or even make the odd phone call. Friendship is a two way street and nurturing the friendships one already has is a very good place to begin.

Health. Mobility. Aging gracefully. These are the little things one takes for granted when you wake up and hop out of bed with ease. This is huge. I am grateful for all of the above. As it is with relationships, one must nurture what one already has. Eating better and moving more are two steps I can take to maintain what I already have.

Peace of mind. I have heard so many people's stories that involve a loved one battling with some variety of mental health. It seems to reach out and touch everyone in some way or another. So many words ... so little to say. It is a hard life out there. To wake up in the morning and feel like one can take on the day is a blessing beyond comprehension. I am grateful.

It has been a busy time and the gremlin inside my head keeps nattering negative little thoughts which has created a bit of an inner battle to fully enjoy all the gifts I've been given. I have taken that negativity, thrown it into the light of day and waged a war with it. I do believe I have tamed the negative Nellie within and I truly believe it all begins with gratitude.

I just want to say "Thank you". Thank you thank you thank you for all I have been given. My job here on earth is to appreciate and nurture everything I already have. I can do that. 

I love this day of open gratitude. What are you grateful for today?

"Happy Thanksgiving to all!!"

I Write, Therefore I Am

"Why do I write?" was the context of my morning thoughts. I'm feeling a tad defensive this morning. In anticipation of an upcoming writer's workshop, I am frustrated by the thought of trying to hone my writing skills.

I wrote when I could not speak is the simplest way to describe my need to write. I was a painfully shy child and the words inside my head had no release unless I put pen to paper. Thus, I wrote.

As an adult, I still fell back to the written word whenever I felt overwhelming feelings of anything. Good, bad or anything in between. I sort through my thoughts on paper to make sense of the emotion behind them."

Putting some space between "feeling" and "vocalizing" has worked for me. In potentially volatile situations, I sort through my truths on paper, pull out the emotion and attempt to put only facts into words. These words are best spoken. In my experience, there is nothing gained by handing over negative thoughts on the written page.

"Be careful what you put in writing" was Mom's sage advise. Once written [or emailed or texted], words cannot be taken back. They are read from the vantage point of the reader and the intent can be misconstrued.

I have made the mistake of writing raw emotion and handing it over to the intended recipient. Even when my reasons were justified, the written word is powerful. Too powerful at times.

When a person is feeling strong emotions, there is a reason. For me, the best way to sort through the story is to write it out. Letting it cycle and recycle through my mind on an endless loop has not proven to work to my advantage.

When I write out my thoughts it becomes easier to see that there are a finite number of issues at hand.  The process of writing puts me back in the driver's seat. I begin to sort through what is possible to remedy, what is out of my control and decide where to go from that point.

I censor myself when I write. Mom's words haunt me. Be careful what you put in writing. Yet there have been times when I just need to purge everything. I need to write what I am thinking. I need to release the emotion. Those are the pages to shred or the documents to delete.

It is when I don't write, that is cause for concern. After Mom died, I was wordless. I was full of emotion but the words did not come easily. It was then, when I decided I needed to start writing again. It didn't have to be good. I simply had to write. I had to unblock the blockage of words. I needed to be accountable. Thus, this blog was rekindled as I rejoined the land of the writing.

I don't know what to expect from this upcoming writing workshop and I'm not sure where this defensiveness is coming from. I write to clear my head, share my thoughts when they are worth sharing and it is just how I roll. I don't want to take what I enjoy and turn it into work.

After all is said and done, my thoughts come down to this: "I write, therefore I am"

End of a Month ... Readiness for the Season Ahead

Today would be a very good day to stay home. My clean-up mode has been activated and I'm unsure how long this may last.

It started with my month end financial state of affairs. I have been overspending my pay cheque and I was really looking forward to getting paid this month so I could share the wealth. My credit card is very happy with my generosity. All bills are paid. I am back in the black (in a gray sort of way) again and I am breathing a sigh of relief.

My eye caught the stacks of papers that have been amassing in places I can see out of the corner of my eye as I sit at the computer. They need a place to call home. I found a spot that is good enough for now. Some notations are garbage; others are filed away. Small stuff. But little things pile up and become heavy. It is better to deal with things when they are small.

Then came the revolving stack of paperwork atop of the printer. Each pile was neatly sorted and arranged in the order in which each deed was to be completed and every bill was paid. I believe I had the pile culled down to nil until outdoor renovations began. The outside repair and maintenance project began in May and was not complete until August.

Before renovations were complete, I started planning a life outside of these walls I adore so much. From my son's play in May ... to going to see Cher ... then Oprah ... and another play ... then a family gathering ... going to see Mamma Mia ... and another play ... then a sibling gathering ... and winding up with an upcoming October holiday ... the stack of places to go and things to do has been unending.

I can see the top of the printer again. The accumulation of paperwork involved with everything that has been accomplished over the course of the past six months is almost at an end.

I admit I am relieved to see the top of our printer again. This signifies the end of a busy and expensive few seasons.

The leaves are falling outside and I'm feeling a similar sense of letting things go, going dormant and feeling sufficiently ready to weather whatever comes next.

Fall is a time of letting go and storing up for winter. As much as I complain about winter, I am ready for a season of dormancy. Truth be told, I'm actually looking forward to it.

What about you? Are you ready to shed the excess and settle in and enjoy the winter?

Winter is going to come in one form or another. We can accept it or move on to warmer climates. I think I'll stay.